8.13.2009

Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
For the week starting: 8/13/2009

"I have said too much unto a heart of stone."
Shakespeare’s 12th Night [III.iv.203]

    Opening quote, fits with the way the moon’s phase feels. But what does it mean? Read on.

    As noted in the travel and appearances schedule, I will not be in Austin for the August 22-23 event.

    Scheduling conflict with El Paso, and the guest shot on Wife Swap – haven’t mastered being in two places at once; other arrangements can be made.

astrofish.net Leo: Hurricane seasons starts at the end June, but it’s usually late July, or even August before the Gulf of Mexico gets churned up. It varies from year to year, as the severity of the hurricane season. Yet there I was, one afternoon, in a coffee shop, looking at the TV monitor, watching as an intrepid reporter was buffeted about by gale-force winds. Then I watched, at a restaurant, while a similar reporter was blown about by gale-force winds. That evening, on a neighbor’s cable TV, I watched as yet another reporter was reporting about the effects of gale-force winds. Nothing changed.

I couldn’t do a thing to change the course of that natural event, other than hope that it hooked up here to leave some water behind. We could use a little rain. Doubt that will happen. But there I was, stuck, watching it on TV, a natural disaster of possibly epic proportions, unfolding. Because there were reporters and electricity and video feeds coming from the very eye of the storm, I doubt it was all that serious. But I couldn’t stop watching. Which is the problem, there’s nothing we can do in Leo land, but if we don’t budge, we’ll just sit here and watch that hurricane all day and all night. While nothing happens. Or while there’s nothing we can do about it. That one hurricane? Got a few clouds. That was it. Guess we’re too far from the coast.

Weekly Video (Monday, more or less) is here.

astrofish.net Virgo: Just a tip. Sort of applies. Not that I have any personal experience with either, but I’m just suggesting, as an idea, a concept? There’s Freddie Mercury’s old band, Queen, and one of the rock’n’roll greats? "Fat-bottomed Girls," and as an aside? A local barroom brawler and crooner did a sophomore cover of that tune, equal if not better than the original. However, let’s go back to the original and its title. Good song, rock classic, and it’s good one to use for setting the mood. Yeah, like two guys, in a bass boat? Towing the boat to the lake? Home from the lake? Yeah, a couple of guys, we can rock out to that song.

Either version, original or the local flavor one. However, that’s also something wherein what we’re doing is just fine, as long as wives and girlfriends aren’t around. The WAGs don’t take kindly to our version of the song, or the emphasis placed in certain parts. Not that it matters, and not that it applies, or doesn’t apply, to said WAGs, it’s just the thought. Fit the song to the deed, and fit the deed to the song. We’re much better off with another local favorite, later, when we’re home, we can put on other music. Time and place. Fit the actions to the music.

And the other way around, too.

    ASTROFISH.NET: Coffee consistently good!

astrofish.net Libra: My over-all "weirdness quotient" isn’t what it used to be. Although I always thought I was perfectly normal, especially in towns like Austin and San Antonio, as I traversed Texas, I found that I did stick out in other places. Won’t even mention how I look in California or the East Coast. The question isn’t about my weirdness quotient, though, it’s about your Libra "weirdness quotient."

Where do you stand with that? On the south side, either San Antonio or Austin, I didn’t stand out. At all. Summertime wear, like shorts and sandals, that doesn’t evoke a single raised eyebrow. My choice in shirts and shirt styles did garner an observation from one of my friends, and an octogenarian, but she was the only one who’s ever noted anything. So weirdness and weirdness quotient arises with location, gender, and age. Plus a whole host of other factors, I’m sure, like a simple cultural bias. But that’s not what this is about.

Where does your own, internal "weirdness factor" factor in? And is it time to ramp up that quotient by just a degree or two? Maybe so. It’s the long, hot summer days in South Texas. Warm it up with your strangeness, although, I would tend, as a Libra, to make the change have something to do with attire. Dressing differently? Trying to raise the bar on what some people call strange? Make your Libra self stand out with statement. Be aware, though, of the weirdness quotient in your neighborhood, don’t want to go too far.

astrofish.net Scorpio: Ever watch a well-oiled (people) machine work? I was thinking about certain Starbucks, and when it was/is operating at peak efficiency. There is a greeter/retail person, two cashiers, then three people manning the machine that makes the espresso. Cups with labels come at them, and the little workers are busy pouring, frothing, blending, concocting and doing whatever it is that they all do back there.

On a slower day, the order taker will take my money then ask me what’s up with (insert sign here), then make the drink, early mornings is Cappuccino and mid-day is ice tea or iced-espresso. But it’s that rush hour efficiency I was thinking about. All the little wheels moving, all the pieces of the puzzle fitting together like is should, the wheels of commerce rolling right along. Capitalism at its finest, I’d like to think.

Now, into that well-oiled set of humanity working and producing? Imagine, here we are in Scorpio’s chart, then there’ a tourist, in line, in front of you. Me. Anyway, the tourist stops, pauses, looks at the big menu board with it’s variety of choices, and goes, "I’m not sure what I want." You can hear the machine begin to slow down. You can hear the wheels grinding to a halt. All of a sudden, seven people feel the rhythm interrupted. Six workers, and me. You. Two messages: one, if you’re ordering? Plan ahead and be ready to say, "Grande Half Caf Mocha Blueberry Nonfat with lo-cal whip." Got it? Work it out before you get to the head of the line. Two? If you’re behind that person? Make a polite suggestion. "Ask for a large cup of coffee."

The secret behind The Secret Click Here!

astrofish.net
Sagittarius: Fishing in August is a real drain on luck. A day fishing in August can be supremely lucky, with a lot time spent catching fish, or it can be really frustrating with no time spent catching anything. To some, that would be daunting. To me, after all, I am a Fishing Guide to the Stars, any day spent fishing is better than just about any other activity. Or inactivity, sort of depends. It’s about perceptions and goals.

What’s the real target? When I’m headed out on the lake to fish, I’m there for relaxation and enjoyment, perhaps some camaraderie, perhaps some solitude. Fish? Purely a secondary objective. Time on a boat, time in the water, time on the water, time spent messing around with fishing tackle, time spent casting, talking, joking, all of that is important to the experience. The real amount of time spent catching fish? Sort a distant fractional portion of the trip, now isn’t it?

I’m headed out to fish in the next couple of days. I have no intentions of catching fish. That’s just a little bonus, kind of a perk on top of the trip. Stick to what the real objectives are, and you’ll find, I’ll find, our Sagittarius selves won’t be let down.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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