Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
For the week starting: 9/17/2009

    "The excuse thou dost make in this delay
    Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse."
    Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet [II.v.33-4]

Juliet is addressing the Nurse, and Juliet wants news of Romeo. Quickly. Ah, young love, tragic young love and dysfunctional families. Dysfunctional literary families, that is.

Questions are always free, some answers require a cash deposit. The e-mail line is always on, "31" (24 and 7).

astrofish.net Virgo: There's this one Virgo, and between Mercury's pattern and Saturn, the two line up now, there's this one Virgo who needs to hear this. Or read it, really. When I'm tying a lure onto a my fishing pole, when I'm attaching a piece of fishing hardware -- usually ends in a myriad of hooks -- I've learned to leave a small amount of fishing line as "extra." This tail end stuff?

What happens? With monofilament line, as the line itself is stretched by a big fish? That tiny little bit of fishing line -- the tail end -- gets sucked back towards the knot. It's little bit of slack in a supposedly steady-state environment. As it turns out, the knot isn't so much a fixed object as it's a moveable one. More fluid dynamics and less physics, although, there is an element of both when a big fish hits the end of the line. So if you tie a knot, or make a similar "steady-state" arrangement? Leave a little slack in the process, just, like, you know, in case.


astrofish.net Libra: Birthdays begin next week, and that's good news. Mercury slides backwards out of your sign, again, this is good news. No one seems to get it, that's the downside, as you knew, I would give two good news and then one bad news. And that part, the "no one seems to get it" part? That's a big problem. It's not like you changed your birthday or anything like that, it was on the calendar all year long, same birthday, same place , no change. But people seemed to forget.

I can't run around and personally remind everyone it's the Libra time, fast approaching, and I can't run around and remind everyone that a thoughtful action would be well-advised, and I can't run around and remind everyone that this doesn't have to be expensive, just thoughtful. But no one's listening to me. And, for that matter, it's going to feel like no one is listening to your fine Libra self, too. Therein is the set up and the problem. The solution? Sometimes there isn't a viable solution. Sometimes, like this week, you have to face the facts that the planets have decided to keep your birthday off the books for the time being. What I used to do? I used to inscribe every calendar I found with the the notation, "Birthday is coming," but I'm not sure you want to do that.

astrofish.net Scorpio: I was thinking about coastal fishing, getting up towards that time when I can head down for some Big Red action. I looked over at my tackle box, and I thought about that, too. What's there. What's not there. In the coastal box, all I keep, basically, are hooks, weights, leaders and so forth. Rigging material. I think there might be a few corks, or floats really, as the corks aren't made from cork, but that's a small matter and not germane to your horoscope.

What I was thinking about, I've a couple of gold spoons, a few silver spoons, and two topwater lures that are made for salt/ocean/bay fishing. The rest of what's in that box is just salt terminal tackle, and, of course, a filet knife, and bait knife, and you get the picture? Sure you do. Tools for coastal fishing, for me. I've carried those two topwater lures for a while now. I'll use them each time, but when nothing hits them, I'll revert back to live bait. Sometimes, nothing works better than just plain old "fresh dead" bait. Or live bait, whatever the conditions call for.

But I'll keep those lures, and I'll try, I'll give them a spin, each time. Just practice? Or maybe, perhaps this fall? Maybe this is the time when one of those will work. It's all about trying in the repeated face of adversity before going back to what works. Have to be willing to try before resorting to stinky dead bait that always works.

astrofish.net Sagittarius: Comfort food varies from person to person, and, I'd guess, comfort food also varies within cultural bias. Then, too, there's the question of diet and healthy diet, although, when a food is part of a mental health diet, I can easily overlook regular dietary concerns. Then, too, there's another point, where healthy diet and comfort food can intersect.

Sort of. I've found that a fat-free sorbet, usually a fruit flavor, I've found I can live with that instead of diary ice cream. Not as much sugar, and certainly no diary, in fat-free sorbet. Some brands seems to be more "ice-cream-like" than other brands. Matter of experimentation. Have to sample a number of kinds until the right balance is found. As I've aged, so has my taste in comfort food. From Chicken Fried Steak, to Chicken Fried Chicken (looks like CFS), and from rich, creamy diary ice cream to fat-free sorbet? These are little changes but effective ways to deal with that craving for comfort food.

Why worry about comfort food and Chicken-Fried-Steak? There's a Sagittarius hunger, these days, prompted by Mercury and Saturn. Need comfort food. Only, looking closely at the planetary arrangement? Need comfort food you can live with.


astrofish.net Capricorn: Word for the week: grandiloquent. Had to look it up because it sounds better than it defines. Not that it's a problem, either way, just sounds really good. I liked the way it rolled off my tongue as I was writing this. However, I think it can more be applied to my Sagittarius self rather than Capricorn. You're sitting kind of in a good spot, and I was hoping I could use a big, fancy, two-dollar word to convey my enthusiasm and impart you with a hopeful outlook.

To be sure, there's going to be a small problem or two, you know, Mercury and its usual hijinks, But it's not without me trying to make a broad, sweeping statement about how life in Capricorn will suddenly look up, later this week. The aforementioned Mercury? Sure, that brings in its own list of problems. But you were warned, and you did pay attention, and now life is okay. Right? I hope so.

As I am going to try and make some general comments about everything is going to be okay. There will yet be some minor Mercury-infused issues. But over all? Grandiloquent. That's my word for your week and I'm sticking to it.

astrofish.net Aquarius: This is kind of a typical "Mercury is backwards" story. Came from a client the other afternoon. Instead of a reading, as originally scheduled the client was feeling ill and headed to the Doc in a Box. In an out in less than half an hour, fast prescription. Quick diagnosis, and the client thought she was headed home to rest. Just a summer flu or something. She called again, a few minutes later, wondering if we could do this on the phone. Sure, but did she really want to cradle a cell phone for the whole hour?

See, the (almost) drive-thru "doc in a box"? That was quick. Half an hour. The wait to get the prescription filled? More than an hour. So she suddenly did have time to kill. Since she was ill, and I didn't think it was such hot idea, or a cool idea, to go ahead with a reading while she waiting in a pharmacy, I just politely declined and sought to reschedule. However, as an example, this is what can pop up. Feeling great, off to see the wizard (me). Then a little flu finds you. Not life-threatening, just a little down. Then, fast doc visit? Two-hour wait for meds. See how that works? Typical, and sort of what this next couple of days will hold.

astrofish.net Pisces: "So this is bad, right?" No, not really. "But Mercury is in apparent RX motion, is now opposite Pisces, in Virgo." Well, in a word, yes. "So this is bad?" Not as bad as it's been. The way I see it, once the Sun and Mercury swap positions, then the Pisces "solar-Mercury-protection" (it's secret blend of natural oils and polymers) that starts to kick in again.

Life gets a little better. There is a single issue, and you know exactly what I'm talking about, and that single issue still needs attention. That's the selfsame issue you blatantly ignored my advice about last spring, recall that? You ignored me, you ignored what I said, and look: it's back! Now.

Now, you have the benefit of time, experience, and a little bit of cunning. Use those skills. Don't try ignore the issue any longer, that's just not working. Work around it. Work into it. Work your Pisces magic and weave a little spell that seems to heal up the old rift, patch up differences, and regain what feels like a certain amount of control over your own destiny. It's an illusion, but so much of the Pisces life is an illusion, who can tell? You and I know that it's not as bad as it's been, and there's still one little item that needs to be addressed.


astrofish.netAries: The only real respite is that Mercury moves backwards from Libra into Virgo. And there's a Virgo -- Sun/Moon/Mercury alignment. It's the kicker to a new start. Only, this isn't a new start, just a good, false start. While, as a typical Aries, you wouldn't want to have anything to do with a term like, "False start," these aren't normal times. Therefore, I'd like to suggest that you get started on a new project, and keep in mind, that the direction, flavor, and tone of that new project might change.

Will change.

"Direction, flavor and tone? What's left? Why start?"

The start is more symbolic than really a serious start, as the planets want you to get rolling on something. Just realize that the idea will mutate, and this more about process and less about destination. Which might seem odd to an Aries, but as a concept? Give it a try. Remember: Mercury is backwards as of yet, and it will change.

astrofish.net Taurus: Music may be the food of love, but but when it's too loud? It can be a distraction. The music can be a distraction, not the food love, or love itself. The way the planets are moving, and their indications, are all about good things and distractions. This is like a tender moment between your Taurus self and a significant other? Only to have that tender moment punctuated by the hard-hitting bass line of a passing motorist. One of those motorist who spent way too much money on a sound system and insists on sharing the latest vocal/dub/rap hit with everyone within a hundred yard radius.

I tend to enjoy such punctuation, and I've been known to roll a window down, just to make sure I get the full effect of whatever musical item is being heard. To be sure, though, most of what is heard? All I'll get is a bass line, and that's it. Thump-thump. Sounds a little like helicopter rotors, or similar heavy machinery, warming up. Or slowing down. Still, the way I like to see, hear, this kind of an interruption? It's like percussion punctuation. So when that seemingly tender moment is enhanced by a surreal soundtrack? Understand that Mercury is backwards and that's going to dub a line to your normal Taurus noise.

Might not seem welcome at the time, but don't be to hasty to judge that aural experience.

astrofish.net Gemini: I was packing for a September trip. Supposedly, it's still summer-like in most of the places I travel to. Supposedly, it's really still summer. Supposedly, I can get by with nothing more than shorts and shirts, sandals and so forth. And after a summer spent on the road, shuttling from one place to another, I'm used to life in a suitcase. Backpack, really, or a shoulder bag. Suitcase is only used for some flights. So when I packed, it took me all of about thirty seconds to round up clean shirts, clean shorts and throw everything into a bag. I'm quick like that.

The problem is, when I get to where I'm going? I'll discover that I forgot to pack flyers, papers, a book to read, business cards, blank CDs, pens, ink, and/or any number of personal toiletry items that I might -- or might not -- need. This my life, traveling. Takes a toll, too, except that I enjoy the travel. New vistas, new people, a fresh perspective on old problems, all good. Because Mercury is backwards yet, and because it's slipped into Virgo? Guarantee that you're going to forget one "mission critical" item when you're packing. Like me. Check your list twice, maybe three times. Can't assume that you've got everything that you need, just because you think you've got it all covered. Busy times, business times, and forgetful Mercury. Just check your list, just to humor me. See if you -- like me -- forgot anything.


astrofish.net Cancer: There's a particular restaurant, right around the corner from here. I like the place. Food's great, if not exactly healthy. However, judging by the apparent size -- and girth -- of the patrons? I'd guess that the food's really good. I can't afford to eat there too often as the food isn't exactly the healthiest by my definitions. But cultural disparities, as much as I enjoy them, are in place. I'm just another "gringo loco," and that's never bothered me.

I was thinking about what the griddle at that one place must look like, It's been there for dozens of years, probably good and worn out. Which is why the food's so good. Which is important. It's a griddle that's been seasoned by long years of frying bacon, and refrying beans, and whatever else is prepared on a griddle. I think that adds a kind of seasoned flavor to any food that comes off that hot metal skillet, and that's what this is about.

Food that's almost been tempered on the grill. That's how I like to think about it. Mars is in your sign, even now. And Mars is like that griddle, and you're like that griddle, too. Still cooking after all these years. Which is what it's about. Mars is merely seasoning you a little, Like that hot metal surface upon which food is prepared.

astrofish.net Leo: I have a friend, lives next to the old trailer park in Austin. The trailer park that's now a hole in the ground. God bless progress! Where would be without it? The familiar echo of construction equipment, pounding away? That noise. As I turned a corner on the footpath and made my way towards the apartment building? Across the parking lot, through the chain-link fence? There was a backhoe, pounding away. There was some kind of a bit on its hoe, and the operator was driving that bit down into the ground. Then, once the bit was positioned? He'd jack at it with the full weight of the machinery, eventually lifting himself and the backhoe into the air for a few feet.

I'm a guy, heavy equipment can fascinate me. Which it did. For a few moments.

Then, after watching work go on for a few moments, I got tired, and continued on my way. However, for the rest of the morning, we could hear that machine pounding away. Reminded me of Mars, in Cancer, pounding away. Can't escape it, and can't get away from it. Mars is just tearing up that Cancer pavement, like that backhoe. Pounding way. The problem, in Leo, is listening to the incessant pounding. There really isn't much of a solution, other than, like me, you can be become fascinated by the effects of the work. Or the workers. Or the workers' equipment. Something is pretty interesting, no?

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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