11.26.2009

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Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
For the week starting: 11.26.2009

"Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts."
Shakespeare’s Henry VI, Part III [IV.vi.39]

Weekly video, or as an audio file.
Happy Thanksgiving Day.
Barefoot Astrology instructional video is here.

    astrofish.net Sagittarius: I was talking with the counter help at a local coffee shop. The kid was lounging against the cash register, calling out the orders, and his hat — company hat — the bill was turned slightly sideways. His demeanor was relaxed and confident, and yet expressly casual, as well.

    I happen to know, it’s his birthday this week. His attitude is exactly how all of us Sagittarius types should approach this week. With that hat cocked slightly to one side, we look rakish and yet, still in line with local rules and regulations. Lounging yet working hard. It’s not easy to be busy and relaxed at the same time. With T-day and all that? Casual yet refined and uncouth. All about attitude.


    That’s what this is about, too, attitude. That kid, he was relaxed, and yet, in charge. He has a countenance that suggests open and friendly, yet, although no prison tattoos were visible, he posture indicated that there should be some. Maybe. Maybe not, but attitude is everything. As this week unfolds, moon gets full, and us, we Sagittarius brethren and sistren? Attitude. Relaxed yet cocky and sure, maybe a little full of male bovine organic by-product, but still. Tough, you know?

    astrofish.net Capricorn: Ever swear, up and down, that you would never, ever do something? I made such a proclamation several years ago. Many years ago. Swore I would never, ever wear those stupid-looking "zip on" long pants that turn into shorts. Just stupid stuff. Can’t be warm, can’t be cool, looks geeky, at best, and looks geeky in a way that I’m not prepared to address. Only, as it turns out, a buddy found some those on sale, instead of the ridicules high price for a pair of shorts, or even pants, those “zip-off pantloons” were on sale for under ten bucks.

    The advantage of a going out of business sale, I guess. So I wound up with a pair. And I wore them fishing the other afternoon. And it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought. I did have to listen to a small amount of ridicule from the back of the boat, but after a spell, as the bright fall afternoon in Texas warmed up? I zipped the leggings off, and I was in proper shorts. Pictures up on the website, I’m sure. Me, fish, shorts. This isn’t about that, though this is about breaking solemn vows. Which vows are you looking at breaking? Are you sure? Better question, does it result in something more than just ridicule?

    astrofish.net Aquarius: I use cheap, digital cameras because I’m hard on equipment. I don’t mean that I intentionally throw the camera around, either. It’s just that riding in my pocket, a camera will get sat on, dropped, bounced off the bottom of the boat, and so forth.

    Then, too, there’s a camera I keep in the girlfriend’s car. Again, a cheap, almost disposable camera, just so that there’s one ready, just in case a picture, or image, or scene, presents itself. What’s fun, sometimes, I’ll retrieve that old camera, been riding around in her car for a while, and I’ll see if I’ve got anything on it. Like bait in a trap, only it’s digital media. See if there’s anything on that kind of medium. More like a small as she’s not too large. The files are sometimes wonderful. However, sometimes, there is nothing but under or over, exposed images of family and friends. Not really good stuff.

    The last time I looked, I found close to a hundred pictures, at 10 megabytes per picture, and each image was grainy, out-of-focus, unclear, and basically worthless. Tossed them all. What I love about digital mediums. Which is what this is about, too, for Aquarius. Experiment. Try. Go hog-wild. Give it a spin, give it a test, leave the camera behind. Expectations? That’s the secret. What do yo expect? I was hoping for a few good shots, but then, I also understand that some of this might not turn out too well. And that’s not a problem.

    astrofish.net Pisces: "Have a good day," the plaque read, "unless you have other plans."

    Kind of how I feel about the way the week unfolds for Pisces. Yes, it is Thanksgiving, and yes, certain areas of life are in upheaval, and yes, there’s a certain amount of stress that’s not realistic, and yes, there is a step or two you — the Pisces — can take to make this easier. There’s an urban myth about the effects of turkey meat and how it has a higher than usual quantity of vitamin and amino acids that cause drowsiness. The point is, this is more myth than reality.

    Sure, who hasn’t had the typically American over-sized feast and pushed back from the table, headed for a stupor-induced coma? Sure, not uncommon at all. But the cause, is it really the main ingredient, as alleged? Turkey? Or the candied yams, or the two servings of pie, one Pumpkin, one Pecan? Or the jellied cranberry sauce? None of that? Sure the turkey is the culprit? Jams, breads, stuffing, vegetables, and so forth? None of that? The idea — my goal — is to get you think around the main problem, or what we all assume is the main problem, and look at the stuff that litters the sides. Therein is the source of the problem, and here’s the first step to clearing up this problem, Pisces perceptions.

    astrofish.net Aries: It was really simple. When I went "home for the holidays," I took a couple of extra shirts. I was planning on being nicely attired for the big T-day repast, and I knew I had work to do before hand.

    There will always be family chores, sometimes fun, sometimes not. Sometimes dirty, sometimes not. For this holiday weekend? Care a spare change of clothes. I’m not sure what you’re going to be asked to do. I’ll bet it’s messy. Or maybe it’s not really messy, but somehow, as an Aries, you turn this into a messy task. All in good fun. Still, carry — at the very least — a spare shirt. You can always change your shirt and look presentable.

    astrofish.net Taurus: "That guy just flipped you off! Go back there and kick his backside! Now!" I suppose to get the real impact of the statement? There should be three exclamation marks (!!!) after the last statement. Drive home a point. I suppose you can be either person, the irritated person flipping someone off, but that’s really not advisable.

    Or you can be the irritated person demanding I stand up for what’s right, and that I go back to start a physical altercation, or, here’s the best bet. Be me. I just got flipped off. I tapped on the brakes of the car I was driving and the guy behind me honked and flipped me the bird again. The cop behind him turned on his lights. There are days when a little tolerance? It pays off in a big way. That’s what this is about.

    astrofish.net Gemini: My sister is a leftist, left-leaning, radical vegetarian, performance artist, based in California. Nut and fruits jokes apply. There’s the therapy of the moment, fruit of the month, and obscure Northern California belief of the week. Then there’s a holiday in Texas. I’m not saying we’re part of the Bible Belt, not here, but we’re certainly a notch on it, and while that’s not bad, it does bother the left-leaning sectarians like my sister. Then, too, there’s the food source of choice, mostly animal and animal by-products. Maybe with a side-order of grease? Yeah, always fun at family holidays.

    Imagine, then, if you will, here’s our typical Gemini — my sister — and the typical family holiday gathering, and she’s talking out of one side of her mouth about animal rights and the other side is chewing on a piece of honey-glazed, salt-impregnated, spiral-cut ham. Doesn’t get more processed, or in her eyes, unhealthy, than that. Instead of worrying about the problems like this? Instead of the apparent unresolved issues that crop up from this kind of holiday behavior? Don’t worry. Better yet, as the Sun (Mercury and Venus) slip through Sagittarius? Opposite you? Really, don’t try to resolve this kind of apparent contradiction.

    It’s a holiday with the family! And only three weeks to Xmas!

    The Video – Barefoot Astrology

    astrofish.net Cancer: Torture season has arrived. It’s all about food, and after a while, I’ve gotten to the point where I find this pure torture. It’s that sweet and sickening aroma of pies, cakes, and cookies. Which, in moderations, is fine. But everyone is on this "do it better at home" kick. Which is okay, I guess, but then, it turns into a kind of torture.

    Death by cookie and cake? It could happen. I’m sure that — I can’t name the part — some part of my body is screaming as it tries to digest an overdose of sugar. It’s almost like this is a toxic season. Have to watch that. So it’s all about baking and making holiday treats, holidays and merriment on a budget.

    I groaned when a client showed up with a plate covered in foil. More Xmas goodies. Already. I have yet to find a way to pass on the gifts of food, or food-like substances. Hence the name, the torture season. Now that we’ve established that this is the torture season? How can you, as a Cancer (or Cancer-flavored) person, what can we do about this season? My single suggestion is healthy treats with no added sugar or salt. But that’s just my idea.

    astrofish.net Leo: For about a decade, maybe longer, there was a theme running in country music. At least, it was theme reiterated across with a number of local artists: cover songs. But not just any cover song, a classic rock song, only, with each band, the song would have peculiar imprint. The fiddle with one group, the high-nasal twang of one singer, the bar-room brawler tone of another.

    Cover songs. Not traditional versions of cover songs. As Thanksgiving comes and then goes? Think about the way to cover some material in a uniquely Leo manner. After a fashion, in a way that has it’s own Leo imprint, and make it unmistakable. For some? This would be a strict vegetarian repast for the big meal. Little late for that news, but still, think about it. Make it "yours" in a way no one else can. Mars — in Leo — gives you the extra edge. Use that edge to leave it marked like no one else can do it. "Hotel California" by the Gypsy Kings.

    The Video – Barefoot Astrology

    astrofish.net Virgo: Hot Curry Beef Jerky. I can’t make this stuff up. I ran across this in the local grocery store. Famous chain and a local produce. And I’m guessing that the jerky was locally produced. Tough, stringy beef, maybe not suitable for anything but jerky. Then, this batch was seasoned with the usual peppers, I’m sure, but there was also a heavy dusting of curry. Which, to me, was weird. Even to me, but I’ll admit I live in an insular world and maybe this is a common flavor elsewhere. I just found it odd. Tasty, too.

    So here’s the hint: with what’s going on? In Virgo land? Think about "Hot Curry Turkey Jerky." I’m not sure that this is the ultimate tip, but it’s best I can do at this moment. The trick, with what’s happening in Virgo? Think about what’s ordinary, and then think of a way around what’s ordinary. The pedestrian, pedantic material you cover every day? Change the way you look at that material. Maybe combine a few elements and see what you come up with.

    astrofish.net Libra: The holiday madness and insanity is upon us.

    Can’t escape that, and there’s a certain sense that the only calming voice, a voice that speaks of reason and simple assuredness?

    Doesn’t seem to be available right now.

    It is, but only if you listen closely.

    I think, look, between Saturn and Pluto? There is a strong desire, a big push, like the “Black Friday” marketing game afoot? How much do you want to give into that urge, and is it a real desire, or is your fine Libra self being manipulated by advertising? Xmas is now only three weeks away.

    astrofish.net Scorpio: I can recall one family Thanksgiving Day spread. Made me think of Scorpio. There was a Turkey, a roast beef, stuffing, cranberry sauces, and the, what seemed like acres and acres of vegetables. Three generations of my family were there. Maybe four, as it’s a hazy memory. However, imagine, if you will, the long dinner table, the wretched excess of the holiday, grandparents, grandchildren, and the stuff in between?

    Then imagine, with all this activity, the prayer, the offering, the talk? Off to one side of the big table? There’s our Scorpio, quietly watching as the family fireworks, generations baiting other generations, the kids, the flame-throwers, the food. Most of the all, the excessive food. And Scorpio, off to one side, as quiet as can be. Watching.

    That’s the hint for the coming week. T-day and all. Off to one side, watching, maybe taking notes, but most of all? Keeping that Scorpio mouth shut. Let others do the talking. It’s no reflection on your Scorpio self that others seem to talk more than you. Listen, watch. And good news: Xmas is only three weeks away!

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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