Ratings

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I swiped a bit from a British surrealist-comedy-absurdist-fiction author, and he kept seeing himself played by a young, lean Hugh Grant. Yes, I think that’s wonderful if slightly wistful imagining. However, if I had to pick a typical leading character to play me in my bio-pic film? I think the connection should be obvious, as Mr. Pink.

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Ratings:
When I was working for a newspaper, print edition only, I picked up doing a huge number of movie reviews. Bad habit: I see a movie, read a book, something, and I want to rate that item.

For movies, especially, I had a $0 to $2 rating system.

$0 = wait for this to be in TV. Might be straight to video, and from there, borrow a copy or watch it on free cable TV. Not worth the price of admission.

$1 = see this at the dollar movies. Dollar movies vary, used to be midnight movies, but playing fast and loose with release dates sort of jimmied that idea. However, as a guideline, and I’ve lived close to many dollar movie palaces over the years, the dollar movie is a godsend. Where else can I occupy and entertain for a single dollar? Sometimes, if it’s a long show or there are lot of trailers? That’s good “bang for the buck.” Roughly 50 cents an hour.

$2 = highest accolades. Go sit through a matinee immediately. Worth a full matinee price which has just about doubled since I last used this rating system. However, though my practices might be dated, there’s still the concept that none of the movie out these days are worth a full, over-priced price.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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