Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 5.12.2011

“It is the purpose that makes strong the vow.”
Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida [V.iii.28]

Check the travel & appearances schedule for upcoming locations. Might be one near you, cf., the download page for free eBooks of most of the regular books in print.

The chocolate chip cookie was invented in 1933. (Taurus. It’s a Taurus thing.)

Taurus: When I lecture, especially in workshops, I use the examples of a couple of my Taurus lovers. Svelte, sensual, cautious, perhaps pedantic, still, there’s always that sensual touch. Just works. Usually. Usually a cautious one, aren’t you? Mars, Venus, Mercury, and, of course, the Sun are all in your sign here, before too long. This week. I’d step back and look at that comment from my lecture, that suggestion that a Taurus can fail to render a decision in a hasty manner. Between birthdays and inner planets, and Mars, there’s a hastening, a quickening, a “hurry up and do this thing!” It’s more of a sense rather than a statement. However, that urgency that your Taurus psyche feels and expresses? I’m not sure every other sign is as worried about the urgency. Part of the problem. You’re in a hurry and it would seem like we’re not. Therein is the main difficulty. The best things to do? Slow it down. Slow it way down. Crawl to an almost complete stop. Folks expect you react one way, since you’re not giving in to the usual Taurus characteristics? Don’t expect us to understand. Slow down. Please?

Gemini: Big, puffy, gray clouds blew in from the coast. Along with that came moisture. Clouds laden with water, and air, warm, damp, hot, humid, like a summer’s day — in Houston. Houston is the only place on the planet possibly more humid than Austin. Not that it matters much, this isn’t about “A” town and superlatives, it’s about that first real, sincere blast of summer heat, portends a long and hot summer, and it looks like, here in Gemini, it’s starting now. Hot. Humid. Sticky damp, while, in theory, the moisture is good for the skin and hair? Yeah, practically, it’s not. What’s left of my hair just furls but then stray strands hang down and irritate me. That’s not what this is about. It’s more about that sticky humidity. Not comfortable, and the only relief is in the AC.

Cool, dry air. Some combination of too much water in the air, a high heat index, the sun beating down on the tops of the clouds, the greenhouse effect, carbon dioxide, poison, cars, cattle flatulence, any or all or some combination of all of those elements? That’s what this is. More than likely, I see it as the week ends up with Mercury, Venus, Mars and the Sun all in Taurus. It’s like a hot, sticky humidity and the only relief is alone, in the AC.

Cancer: Best T-shirt this week? “I speak English, pendejo.” Latin male was wearing it and I smiled a broad smile. He didn’t get why I was smiling, probably forgot about the shirt he had on. My teeth weren’t as white as his. Genetic, I’m guessing, or diet, or both. This is an example of what happens, this week, to my little Cancer friends. There’s a T-shirt, a slogan, a bumper sticker piece of wisdom, and you smile broadly at it. No else gets it. Therein is our problem. Like, in my situation? That guy, he might’ve thought I was gay, or queer, and while I’m a happy person who is a bit daft at times, that’s not the slang meaning to which I was referring. That’s also just a judgement call I’m putting on body language, intuition, perceived sentiments and other clues, whether it was there, or not.

Leo: I’m thinking, this next couple of days, in Leo? I’m thinking, you know what this reminds me of? It was a scene, in London, that would be London, UK. On the tube. I was riding someplace, that inter-urban transportation amazes me. I was on the tube, and everyone was ignoring this young lass in full Victorian garb. I mean, imagine this, black bonnet trimmed with lace, pretty white, almost porcelain visage, high-collar, trimmed with black lace that was somehow dingy, then buttons, collars, outer garment, and petticoats. The layers and layers of cloth, mostly lace, mostly black, a beaded handbag as part of the outfit. No one noticed, or seemed to. The child — she appeared quite young — was quietly texting on her phone. The rest of the outfit, knickers, bloomers, petticoats, the great bustle and rustle of lace with every move? Her feet were shod in Doc Martens. For some reason, that was the killer for me. As the mighty Leo, what are you going to do? While everyone might find the odd part the cell phone, for me, the amount of attire, it was the shoes. As the Leo, what’s the stopping point, the part that arrests the observation?

Virgo: “A red eye is one of the big coffees with one shot of espresso, a black is the same with two shots of espresso and anything over that is S&M.” Imagine a Gulp-Buster-sized paper cup filled with coffee and add a couple of shots of espresso to the mix. I do believe that S&M is the correct way to call that one. Abuse. Abusive. Besides, why ruin perfectly good coffee with espresso, or why ruin perfectly good espresso with coffee? Either way, it’s a kick. Thinking about the names used on coffee drinks, and looking at the Virgo chart, I kept thinking, this weekend is like a Red Eye. I’m thinking one of those 32-ounce Thirsty-Gulp sized monster cups of coffee. You get motivated. You get full of energy. You’ve got a great idea, wait, there’s another great idea, and there’s the driver, determination and most important, Virgo Will Power. Personally, I tend to avoid as many stimulants as I can. I find that too much of anything can ruin the mood. I’d take the planetary boost, use it, and maybe avoid the Red Eye, Black Eye, and so on. Or not. Maybe you need the extra caffeine to help make it through this planetary lift.

Libra: “Click HERE if you are not automatically forwarded to the next page, or if you just can’t seem to wait the three seconds it takes to process your order…” There’s a sign-in, on one of my many support websites, I’ll swear, that’s what it says. The subtext message is simple, for you people who just can’t wait, go ahead, click here, you’ll be pushed to the next page as fast as the machine can go. It’s one way to address impatience. So, if you’re really impatient, and no one seems to be moving quick enough for your Libra tastes, click here, and we’ll rush you to the next point.

Scorpio: I used to “tape” my digitally delivered weekly video podcast on one restaurant’s patio. Did it a number of times. Liked that location, short hike with my notebook computer, a comfortable surrounding, while it’s outdoors, it’s shaded and elevated, so there’s the cool breeze and gentle zephyrs that keep the outdoor environment enjoyable. Bit of a problem when recording a video podcast, though, those gentle zephyrs. Wasn’t, like, hurricane strength wind, but it was a gusty afternoon. With the wind at my back, strands of my hair were whipping around and tickling my face. Got rather annoying. I stopped the video podcast about halfway through the “taping,” due to the annoyance factor. As a Scorpio, there’s an annoyance factor, and as an astrologer, I have a solution. I was at, let’s just a say it was like picnic table. I got up and sat on the other side. Faced into the wind. Gentle zephyrs blew the hair out of my face instead into my eyes. The video went smoothly. Down side was I had to start all over again, but I edit it down to about three minutes, so there wasn’t a lot of time lost. I’ll allow an hour to pull it all together, so it was a good one. After I moved. When faced with an annoying problem, like the wind whipping my hair? Think about a simple change to improve the situation.

Sagittarius: I clearly recall a business associate looking at me, plain as day, “You can’t be serious about anything, can you?” In the setting, no, I couldn’t be serious about anything. I can be serious. However, with that particular associate, no, I didn’t judge that the situation was grave enough to require a complete absence of humor, twisted, though, that my humor might be. I thought it was funny, and in the context, I think you’d find it funny, as well, since it’s less about what they want and more about what amuses our Sagittarius selves. There is time for humor. There is a time to be serious. There is time when a bleak, macabre sense of the absurd is beneficial. This might be such a time. Or it might not. While I think it’s funny, unless you are dealing with another Sagittarius, I suspect you’re going to be met with that selfsame line, what I was greeted with years ago, “Can’t you be serious for just a minute!” Not even a question, more an exasperation — on their parts. Not ours. Careful with the wit, laughter. I’m not saying it’s not funny, either, but we might do well to keep it to ourselves. “You can’t be serious about anything, can you?”

Capricorn: There are two times a year when I shelve my personal beliefs in favor of domestic, familial tranquility. Church, traditional Xtian Church, twice a year. Xmas and Easter. So last Easter, it was, as near as I could tell, a “Call and Response,” worship service. This was one of those progressive Protestant sects, light on dogma, easy on ritual, enough arcane, possibly pagan, symbolism to make me happy…. Good deal. The “call and response” part is what got me. I had to look that up, the title, “call and response,” since I’m used to this as a music rather than as a worship service. Pastor reads a passage, the audience responds. Cool stuff. So be it. Easter, call and response worship, that was on my mind. There’s a suggestion that you can deviate from your normal pattern, a change is underway, and it could be some gesture as simple as going to church with your mother. She gets a kick out of it, and from a purely sociological point, it was an interesting examination of the ritual for a church that’s light on ritual and guilt. Hour out of my time, but days, weeks, even months of promised familial, domestic tranquility. Sounds like a good investment. Good investments, and allocation of Capricorn time, too?

Aquarius: “Life is full of little decisions, like Brown or White rice.” It was a fortune cookie. I’ve saved it because that simple fortune cookie bit of wisdom breaks the problem into a binary decision. One or the other. Can’t be both. Binary. If I were to update it a little, the question is more like, “Tex-Mex or BBQ today?” Still binary. Still an either/or kind of conditional statement and answer. One or the other. Can’t do both. Can’t be in two places at once. Can’t have both Tex-Mex and BBQ, in this situation. It’s binary. One or the other. Yes/No. Black or White, not a gray area. As an Aquarius, you can expend a great deal of effort trying to convince me that there is a middle ground, that there is “maybe” in between the two extremes, but this isn’t about you, trying to convince me, it’s about you rendering a decision. It’s a simple Yes/No. White Rice? Brown Rice? Tex-Mex? BBQ? Chicken Fried Steak again? One or two of the better Aquarius friends won’t see this as a problem or rendering s decision like this, so the challenge is to reduce the problem until it gets to the “50/50,” binary stage.

Pisces: “To climb the ladder of success, work hard and you’ll reach it.” It was a fortune cookie. I saved that one fortune for a reason. Seemed like perfect advice, right now, for my little Pisces friends. Something you need to hear. Now, it all depends, the first time I read that little slip of paper? That first time, I was sure that what it really meant was work hard, and that will get you to the first rung of the ladder of success. Not my thing, you know? I’m not into that “work hard and receive the benefits of the toils much later.” Just not how I’m wired. However, as a Pisces, and with what’s going on, concentrated effort in one area will yield big results. Quickly. Maybe not fast enough for your tastes, but certainly much faster than you expect.

Aries: Taco place close to me, just sort of around the corner? Place I like? Little short on ambience but excellent grub. The breakfast special, drive through? “Drive-Thru,” as it’s marked? The usual price is $1.40 for a single, huge bacon/egg breakfast taco. Half dozen would be $8.40, plus tax. The special deal is ten (10) breakfast tacos for $7.77 (plus tax). 10 for about 8 bucks, or 6 for about nine dollars? Which makes more sense? This is a simple bit of math, and it doesn’t have a lot to do with how good those breakfast tacos are, or the way I once found about half a pound of bacon in a single taco, no, this isn’t about that. It’s about simple math. While I can only eat two, the other two guys I fish with enjoy the other two, and that means we only need six. However, think about it, it’s cheaper to get ten instead of six. Simple math. Those other tacos can find useful homes. Gave one to Department of Wildlife crew one morning. Good will never hurts. Shop smart. Do the math. A simple calculation can save you money and buy goodwill.