Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 5.5.2011

“Thy horse will sooner con an oration than thou learn a prayer without a book.”
Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida [II.i.16-7]

Nota Bene: “con” in this context means “learnt by heart,” that silly Elizabethan English. Cinco de Mayo. Holiday about a jar of mayonnaise?

Taurus: One of my neighbors has a new toy. Birthday toy, as the guy is a Taurus. Here, in the dusty parking lot of this place, yesterday at sunset, last week, really, he was making a tremendous amount of racket with a tiny, gas-powered toy dune-buggy. I think it has a single cylinder, two-stroke motor. Remote control, but only a joystick and throttle, really, not a lot to do. Makes a huge amount of racket as the little single-cylinder motor buzzes around and the speed, if scaled up, would be, like, a hundred miles an hour. Or more. The vehicle itself isn’t much bigger than a shoebox, all big tires and roll cage, and plastic body. If it were truly a model, the body should be fiberglass and that would’ve shattered on the first impact with a speed bump or parking bolster. I played with it — once. I ran it in figure eight circles until I got a feel for it and then I drove it, pitched it, into a corner so tight it rolled over and over. Spectacular wipe-out. I’m not allowed to play with his toys anymore. But there was no harm. Which one are you? Me? Pushing it too far? Or the other guy, watching his toy crash and burn?

(It didn’t crash, and it ran just fine, hardly a scratch. You’d think he’d let it go at that.)

Gemini: The lakes haven’t turned yet. Taking longer than usual this year, so it seems. What happens is the summer temps heat up the water and the water column gets reversed. As soon lakes turn, cool water on bottom, warm water on top, food near the shallows, fish right off the points, the May fishing gets good. At the end of this horoscope, next week, Tuesday or so, the fishing gets really good.

It’s cool enough I can almost wear a heavy shirt in the morning, but warms up nicely by 10 so I’m shirtless and shoeless in the back of a boat. As a Gemini, I’m trying to get you to pay attention to the way this cycle starts and finishes. Close, but not quite yet. There isn’t a pattern until next week. Then we can go merrily forward with our plans. But I’d do the Gemini dance of indecision for the time being Just until, like Monday. Or Sunday.

Cancer: The Moon Child. Sweet Cancer. Did you know, standing on the Moon, and looking at Earth, the Planet Earth would look 50 times brighter than the moon? As usual, I’m veritable fount of useless trivial information. Useless? I’m not sure. The moon’s a big player, as that’s the strength you’ve got. Use it. Use that emotional fortitude as the way to protect yourself from the slings and arrows of others. Last count, there were about three different “enemies” rushing at you. I tend to see these “enemies” as little people with small-minded agendas that really have no overall affect on the Cancer life, right now, especially if the little attacks are taken individually. One at a time? You can brush them off like a piece of white lint off a black shirt. One of those tiny feathers leaked out of a down pillow, and that was on the shirt. Just flick it, and it’s gone. Maybe brush it once, or think about lint brush, but you’re getting the idea? Only, the problem is, all of these little items conspire to hit you at once. My solution? Retreat to the Moon. Or the strength that the moon’s phase lends you.

Leo: I was passing through a neighborhood, light industrial, close to downtown, and I was at a strange vantage point, as I don’t tend to look upwards at this time. There was a scissor jack lift, which I would call an accordion lift, and the guy was carrying roofing supplies up. Another worker was on the roof already, moving stuff around. I would never have noticed the work occurring if I hadn’t glanced skyward. Not a typical direction, not in May, not what I would normally do. Hot sun, not a cloud in the sky, not much of a chance of catching a fish with the barometric pressure like this. Doesn’t matter the moon sign, just not a good day to fish. Which might be why I saw those guys on the roof. I paused, long enough to note that it was a fairly extensive repair, as there was much material being hauled up, but then, the job itself couldn’t be too tough, as there were only two, and no truck with a big tar-boiler on it. Look up, that’s what this is about. Look down, look around. Look in direction that you’re not accustomed to looking. Leo: it’s there, in front of you. You just have look in some direction you don’t usually look. Like me, looking up.

Virgo: When I lived in East Austin, back in the day, I felt much closer to the native Low Rider culture. I’m somewhat estranged from that connection these days, at least, distanced from any kind of “hands on” experience I might have previously enjoyed. Still have respect for the art form. Still love the tail-draggers and bouncers, and the intricate artwork. Amazing artwork. Rolling sculptures that are, in the finest examples, truly interactive. It’s not an art form that I’m particularly motivated to pursue, but I can stand to one side and appreciate the handiwork, the craftsmanship, the detail and orientation. I don’t quite understand the motivation, but then, some people don’t understand why I like bass fishing. To each his own. Or her own, whatever. Should be non-gender specific. One rolled by the other day, a gorgeous piece of work. Early Sixties, like ’61 or so, and had the blue metal-flake paint with a giant Crown of Thorns image on the hood. Quite a dedication. A true testament to one’s faith, I gathered. One Virgo girl is going to read this and assume I’m instructing her to build a classic low rider. Not what this is about. It’s about that project, that secret Virgo project. Could be a low rider. Or a monster truck. Or secret bass weapon, guaranteed to catch fish in any situation. I’m not telling yo what your secret project is, because I don’t know: it’s your secret. However, time is nigh for putting in some effort.

Libra: I’ve seen two versions of Shakespeare’s “12th Night” that stick in my mind. One was on stage in London, an English version, as it should be. Very traditional staging, traditional garb, nothing exciting except that it was just really well-executed. Diction, language, and I did have a front row seat, which didn’t suck. So the show was exceptional. A couple of the opening monologues stuck in my mind, why I liked it so much. There was another version of the play, strangest of bedfellows, in Austin, part professional players, part student stock. Again, a proper execution of the play, diction, language and fairly conservative staging, not too outlandish, like setting it in outer-space or something. Just a straight-up, Elizabethan staging, adopted for modern times. What the students lacked in skills was more than made up for by the exuberance of the student stock. The players played at whatever role they had, no matter how small. Malvolio sticks in my head as a tortured soul, and in that play, he can be a tortured old man. While I’ve seen this one play, maybe a dozen time, it’s that one production that stick in my mind. The clarity of language, the effortless delivery. That kind of effortless delivery can only be obtained through hours, days, weeks or more of painstaking rehearsal. As a Libra, there’s still some painstaking rehearsal. As a Libra, make sure you have your lines right. While exuberance can cover up a plethora of sins, nothing beats practice and preparation.

Scorpio: Scorpio is a fixed sign. So is Taurus, and every year, I tend to avoid my Scorpio friends while the Sun is in Taurus. There’s a kinetic fission that occurs while the Sun is opposite Scorpio. I can usually get along with Scorpio folks quite well. Love them, respect them, can’t date them, but that’s not even a question (I’m just not man enough for a Scorpio.) When the Sun opposes your Scorpio self, there’s a certain level of misdirected energy, like anger comes easily but without proper direction. To make this worse, in another week, Mars moves in Taurus, and that’s just going to ratchet this energy up another notch. Probably “Goes to eleven.” To keep this from being played out in a public manner? To keep you from going ballistic in a highly public and potentially embarrassing way? Grab that Scorpio control mechanism, the joystick you use in the game of life, and hold on tight. Death-like grip. Hold onto the controls. This is going to be a bumpy ride. As your emotions get tested and pushed up one side and down the other? Just hold on. If you can keep from blowing your top at something? You’ll find out moments later, it wasn’t what you thought, and there’s no need for the anger and concomitant angst.

Sagittarius: One of my friends, an Austin musician, a successful Austin musician, thanks to my tutelage, he found out what it takes to be successful. Playing music is about ten percent of what he does. Maybe a little less. Then there’s ten percent that’s writing music, coming up with new songs. The rest of the time? While the numbers vary, it’s somewhere between 80 and 90 percent of the time is invested in getting to the show, getting home from the show, setting up, tearing down, handing out flyers, calling radio stations and being polite to DJs. As little as ten percent, even less, can be spent doing what we love and the rest of the time is spent supporting that love. My buddy, critically acclaimed, Sagittarius, once he wrapped his head around the idea that most time is spent coming, going, setting up, tearing down, packing, unpacking, repacking, driving, flying, cajoling, begging and pleading? Once he got comfortable with the concept that playing music is less about making music and more about the business of music, he started to be successful. It’s all about getting our Sagittarius mind wrapped around an idea. Simple concept. No big deal. Ask the musician, how much time is spent playing music and how much time is spent with the ancillary tasks.

Capricorn: I was in the post office, and I heard a familiar sound, a lick from a movie’s theme song. Some of this material will pre-date me, as I’m not old enough to remember it the first time through. The Legendary Spaghetti Westerns, a trilogy of films, made in Spain, by crew that didn’t speak much English, if any, starring our favorite cowboy with no-name, Clint Eastwood. The music was by Ennio Morricone, thank sweet Jesus for the inter-webs, that music, along with more information than I really wanted, is available. Production notes, along with the trilogy’s trivia are easily available. What was most amusing to me, in the post office, the familiar tune, the lonely whistling noise, the jew’s harp twang, and when I first heard it, it was hot day in April, I looked around, fearful a gunslinger would step out from behind the counter at the post office. An older man fished a phone out of his pocket, glanced sheepishly at me, and answered the ringing. I thought it was a clever ring tone. This little detour into spooky music is my attempt to derail you from the negative thoughts you’ve been carrying around, especially this week. You’re like me, you’re hearing the ominous tune, now, look around, just some old guy’s ringtone. Harmless. (I hope).

Aquarius: Fishing Line comes in many flavors and sizes. There are hundreds, if not thousands of variations, from tensile strength to rated weight, elasticity, shock rating, not to mention diameter, composition, and then, there’s the colors. So many colors. Colors I can’t even name. Patterns, clear, or, one favorite, line that is supposed to ‘disappear’ underwater, but above water, it has a coppery sheen to it. The kind of fishing has a lot to do with the type of line required. I’ve always been on the lookout for a good “median-average” kind of line, something I could purchase in a big spool, a piece of fishing gear that was equally effective in the surf, off-shore, in-shore, and in the power-plant reservoirs that are so plentiful (and full of decent game fish). This is about shopping, and in my example, I’m looking at fishing gear, but as an Aquarius, it might not be fishing gear, it could be any number of tools. Something you use daily. Shopping for a standard, across-the-board replacement tool that can be used in any number of situations. Shopping. Looking. Hunting. The Chase. Someplace between ultra-light 8 lbs, and 60 lbs. Big Game, there’s the right answer for me. You’ve got to shop for your right answer. Let me know what yo find.

Pisces: Theme songs, something about this time of year makes me think about theme songs. Old TV theme songs. TV I’m too young to remember in its original format. That means, I never saw this stuff on live TV. The TV show was one that was briefly, and pretty much unsuccessfully resurrected, but the original was sharp, weird and edgy. The show was called “The Prisoner.” No secret I admired the opening sequence more than anything else. The audio track, I found it online and ripped it to an iPod, then that very song cycled up. The cool parts of the opening shots was the car, scenes of London, the car, the bicycle logo, the car and early computerized “big government” images. And the car. Loved the car. The music is a jazzy cross between a twangy surf guitar and a standard TV theme song with just enough of the English Empire factored in, and dragging that much information out of two-minute theme song is a challenge. I’m looking for a two-minute, or less, song for Pisces. Needs to be edgy, campy, and jazzy. All that’s happening? This is a good time to work on that theme song. What will it be?

Aries: “Go to.” There’s “go to” bait, what I’m familiar with, each fisherman has a special bait that always works. Mechanics have “go to” tools, I’m also guessing that most women have ‘go to’ dresses. Certain occasions require certain attire.

Mostly I’m looking for the ‘go to’ that usually works for Aries. I’m unsure of what it is. Some kind of device, tool, outfit, good luck charm, even.

Something.

The usual. The standard tool that you employ in crunch situations. Keep your ‘go to’ bait handy. You’ll want as this is the last week that Mars is in your sign. Use that power wisely.