Fishing Guide to the Stars for the week 6.9.2011

“Every time
Serves for the matter that is then born in ‘t.”
Shakespeare’s Antony & Cleopatra [II.ii.12-3] Gemini: Gemini Birthdays! Yes! Party! Happy birthday to that one, special Gemini. Old story, there. Don’t have time or space for that tale, but I do have some happy birthday material for my little Gemini friends. Hillsboro, TX: the sleepy, little hamlet was thrust into the national spotlight some years ago when Willie Nelson (music icon, legend, Taurus, Space Cadet) was arrested for alleged drug possession. Other than that, the only remarkable comment I had for Hillsboro, it’s between Waco and Ft. Worth on the Interstate, and it hosts the annual “Guitar and Gun” show. It’s one of those uniquely Texas kind of event. Guitars and guns, where else would those two seemingly distant items mix so well together? Which makes it the perfect June celebration destination for Gemini. There is so much cooking in Gemini, and this week adds Venus to the fray. Mercury, Sun, Full Moon in Sagittarius, and Venus pops into Gemini. Need a new destination a little off the usual Gemini track. Pick one. Pick any. My suggestion is choosing something just like that Guitar and Gun Show. Two items that don’t belong together. Perfect for the Gemini celebrations. This week, make it happen. Cancer: For most of its history, San Antonio has been larger — and the most cosmopolitan — destination in Texas. Bigger than the other big cities, like Houston, Dallas, Austin. For most of the region’s history, San Antonio was the largest city in Texas. It wasn’t until the last hundred years or less, the other towns started explosive growth. I’d attribute it to “We got discovered.” Folks figured out that the climate was good, the fishing was good, the hunting was good (if you’re into that sort of thing), and the business climate was excellent. Maybe not so much anymore, but at one time, this was the place to be. Texas isn’t really “southwest,” and it’s certainly not really “deep south,” which leaves it alone unto its self. San Antonio, was, at one time, the center. “Remember the Alamo.”

And San Antonio has been surpassed by its neighbors, Houston, oil and sports, Dallas, money and sports, Austin, weirdness and state government. Bypassed. Just a historical (foot) note, these days. As a Cancer, you’re going to feel that pain, that sense that you’ve been bypassed, overlooked, your grandeur and history is being ignored. It’s not, you’re just feeling a little (planetary) ennui, foisted by the current arrangement. The bypassed feeling will leave in a few weeks. In a little while, you’ll realize that you’re a more important destination than any of the neighbors, or siblings, or co-workers. Might take a few weeks, but your time is coming. Don’t let the “I’ve been bypassed blues” get you down. I still look out for you.

Leo: The run up to the full moon is fun. The aftermath of the full moon, it’s easy for a mighty Leo because you read this and you were warned. As each day passes, we’re closer and closer to that sense of relief for the mighty Leo. There’s a sense, a pervading feeling, a thought that you know in your gut that everything is going to work out. There’s still a chance. A break, a welcome opportunity, coming along. As it sits, this week, the early Leo friends, those born in July, have a shot at a break. The rest of my extra-fine Leo friends would do well to wait. Patiently. Ha. Like any Leo is patient. However, a little patience might pay off big, you just never know. I do. I’d suggest patience.

Virgo: At the big, high-dollar grocery store, over yonder in the “nice” part of town? They have organic ice cream sandwiches. Every heard of these? “The same taste you enjoyed as a child, only enriched and organic!” I wonder how that works, enriched with organic compounds rather than chemicals? I don’t know. Costs more than regular ice cream sandwiches, but because I was on an “all-organic” kick, I figured I’d try them. Tasty, for sure, but the ingredients, nothing special, milk cream, cane sugar, natural flavors, gums and gars to hold stuff together, and all the ingredients were labelled “organic, all-natural.” Like my horoscopes, organic and all-natural. I dug a little deeper and eventually, I propped that “all organic” ice cream sandwiches next to the regular ice cream sandwiches. Much of the ingredient list is similar, if not the same, only, the nutritional value was different. The cheap, non-organic variety had about a third less calories. More inorganic filler? Just more filler? An ability to lie about nutritional value since fewer people read that label? This might have nothing to do with questions about organic versus regular (inorganic) ice cream sandwiches. This is more about, the Sun is in Gemini, this is about propping up two items (Gemini, Twins), next to each other for a valid side-by-side comparison. Determine real value that way. Just reading one label won’t work.

Libra: Lady sat down across from me, looked at my sheet that said, “Astrology Readings,” and then told me she wanted a Tarot Card Reading. What I’m capable of, although, not a skill set that I employ too often these days. I’m good, I just don’t advertise, or for that matter, I don’t even travel with cards as often as I used to. Just not what I do much these days. The cards and their “magical” symbols tie directly to astrology, and the currents of the heavens have a lot to do with the currency of events here on Planet Earth. Home, for the time being. However, I’m always willing to give the customer what they want, and if it was Tarot Card Reading that I was being paid for, then it was a Tarot Card Reading that she got. “What’s your birthday?” I asked. She told me, and I proceeded to hand her the cards to shuffle. Then I recited material that had to do with the approximate location of the her (Libra) Sun, and interpreted the images on the cards as I laid them out. Two messages, always give the customer what the customer wants. Second, and it’s more arcane, but the symbolism is about listening to the obvious symbols and slowing down, paying attention, and giving the customer what the customer has determined that the customer wants.

Scorpio: “If you can’t be right, be wrong at the top of your voice!” It’s a rule of some kind; pretty sure it’s buried in the quote book, too. (Pink Cake, see for details.) As rule, it’s good. As a Scorpio, it’s not a rule that you’d like to follow. If you’re going to be loud, Scorpio-loud, then you want to be right, Scorpio-right. That’s where I’m suggesting we slow down with Scorpio, right/wrong, loud/quiet. Quiet. Just as Jupiter starts ingress to Taurus, just as Venus exits Taurus, there’s a point where you want to be loud. Attract attention. Scream something from the rooftops. Do they scream from rooftops anymore? Doubt that. But still. You get the idea, right? Make it known. In Italics. Bold. ALL CAPS. ALL THREE. Here’s the sticking point: don’t. Or rather, I suggest, no shouting. Go back to the original quote, “If you can’t be right…” Which is the problem: you’re probably mistaken about some of the data. Just because it appears correct at the time? Careful about hasty conclusions. Careful about jumping. Careful about shouting when about two minutes of Scorpio silence would’ve saved you a week-load of embarrassment.

Sagittarius: I found myself wrestling, intellectually wrestling, that is, with a thorny problem that had no apparent easy solution. As a mighty Sagittarius, I’m not unfamiliar with insurmountable objects and obstacles that have no easy way around. This isn’t the first time for me. Not a big deal. I can find a work around. I can usually figure out a solution or, at the very least, a mutually agreeable position that seems to work, even if my answer to the problem is only a temporary, quick fix. So I was faced with this issue, and I couldn’t really find an easy way around it. Not through it, not around it, not over to one side, not over the top. Got nothing as an answer. Doesn’t mean there isn’t a way to solve this riddle. It’s just a puzzler, for the moment. The big problem is our Sagittarius moment of frustration and puzzlement seems to stretch on and on. All week. That’s a long time not to have a quick, witty response to an issue. Stop. Stop struggling, stop wrestling with the issue and just, in general stop. It’s Gemini time. Twins. Takes twice as long to figure stuff out. Way it is, this week. Best way to figure it out? Forget about it for now.

Capricorn: The assumption is, that, as an avid sports fisherman, I have little regard for nature. However, to me, one of the selling points about bass fishing is the little lake with its Osprey and Eagles, and the turkey buzzards. Another tale is about the only truly wild flock of Whooping Cranes. Before concerted conservation efforts were made, the population dwindled to 15 Whooping Cranes. They mate for life, and while the female lays two eggs, only one chick is raised each year. I’ve seen, even got a few fuzzy photos, of the winter Texans, the Whooping Cranes. They are cool, in person, in the winter up in the flats. Like that wildlife, brought back from the edge of extinction by a dedicated and prolonged effort by numerous concerned individuals, there is a task at hand. A task at hand for Capricorn. A huge, formidable job. Almost insurmountable odds. 15 birds were left before conservation efforts brought them back. There are over 400 now. Can you do it? All by yourself, all by your Capricorn self? Probably not. However, like the song suggests, “With a little help from your friends….” The impossible is possible, if you ask for help and keep the (Capricorn) faith.

Aquarius: “I just heard bout this stuff, it’s really good for you, ‘yerba matte,’ like, from the rain forest in Brazil,” buddy of mine explained, “you should try it.” I have. Maybe it wasn’t a good preparation, but I did try it, several ways, including clogging my favorite French Press. Didn’t work for me. Looked like lawn clippings. Tasted like lawn clippings, too. Maybe I’m just not sensitive in that area. Maybe I don’t a cultivated tea sense. Or maybe, the stuff isn’t that great, not without added sugar, chemicals, and so forth. Acquired taste, or maybe, I don’t want a coffee substitute. I want coffee, acrid, bitter, caffeinated. Besides, Yerba Matte is available from a number of sources, and it’s not just South American Rain Forest old-growth stuff. It’s available from Central America, and parts of Mexico. I don’t like it. Tastes like dirt, to me. I should note, that’s my opinion, and maybe I haven’t had the best, yet. I listened to my buddy whole he extolled the virtues of this new drink he discovered, and I didn’t interrupt. Not my place. This isn’t really about coffee, Yerba Matte, or a coffee substitute. This about learning to listen and learning not to pass judgement when one of your buddies shows up with the “latest, greatest (craze).” Listen. Pay attention. Perhaps take notes and be prepared to point out fallacies, at a later date. Most important, listen. Open mouthes only catch bugs. Closed mouth, open mind.

Pisces: Victorian prose is not one of my favorite styles. The Victorians, from what I’ve read and consumed, seemed to prize style and it was an ornate style at that, over more utilitarian (shorter) verbiage. Never use one sentence when three are better. Never use on adjective when an adverbial phrase, and a subordinate clause, will help layer on the sentiments. Also helps bury the intended meaning under a heavy coating of innuendo, supposition, and sometimes pointless meandering that might, or might not, have some stylistic merit. Long, intricate sentences with dependent clauses tacked on the end, sometimes for subtle nuance, and sometimes, just trackless woolgathering. The highly ornate and occasionally difficult style, baroque in some ways, I can’t navigate that material as well as I can work with either earlier or later variations. Shakespeare, Elizabethan, they used meter and rhyme, and the more modern novels use a concise form of language. Which one will work best? For me, it’s matter of taste. I like my material shorter, meaningful and direct. As a Pisces, what’s going to work? These days? I’ll tell you: less style, more direct. Cut the high-blown rhetorical style, while quite pretty and flows well? Doesn’t convey much information. Not much to say? Don’t use many words.

Aries: “Data-driven decision making.” Actual phrase from a resume a prospective employee sent me. Likelihood of being hired? Not very good. Four words. “Data Driven Decision Making.” If it had been 4 D, instead of three, the wordsmith in me might have thought about it. But please, that’s resume-speak, and while I’m frequently long of verbiage, that’s the way I am, I want an Aries resume to speak to me in short, concise, taut, tight clumps of information. You’re an Aries. I know you make fast decisions based upon real-world experience and hard facts. Facts, too, usually, not material that merely represents itself as a fact. Facts, not fancy phrases, are what drive decisions. Adjust your wording accordingly.

Taurus: Typically, Sagittarius is equated with leaping forward. Typically, Sagittarius is linked to Jupiter. Typically, when Jupiter enters a sign, this is symbolic of great leaps forward. Typically. Look around, is there anything typical about what’s happening now? You have to ask yourself that much. Since it’s not typical, then this idea that Jupiter triggers a great leap forward, we might want to revisit that idea. Redefine, or better yet, put in terms that makes sense to a pedantic Taurus pace in the middle of the summer. Slow it down a notch. Friends of mine have a pair of box turtles in their backyard. Might be a breeding pair, I don’t know, can’t tell with turtles. The males tend to have a slightly more stumpy tail, but with those critters? Who can tell? Does it matter? Not really, because this isn’t about the sex of the turtles, it’s about the turtles’ progress as they motor around the yard. Don’t seem to move fast. Don’t seem to make a lot of progress, but I was out in the backyard, talking under a summer’s eve’s sky, and the turtles were suddenly on the side of the yard. In turtle terms, that’s huge progress. I never saw them move, but that’s turtle time versus my time. What might seem slow and pedantic forward motion? Jupiter is like those turtles, motoring around the yard. Didn’t seem like they were moving that fast, but there was lots of good progress.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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