Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 6.16.2011

“There’s small choice in rotten apples.”
Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew [I.i.132-3]

It’s Hortensio commenting to Gremio, as the two decide to find a husband for Kate — the rest is in the plot outline.

Gemini: In the vast quantity of material I’ve got, out of the acres and acres of written, spoken and visual record of my work, a single Gemini comment stands out. As I was lecturing, I recall the exact moment, I likened Gemini to a finely cute gem-stone. Many different facets, as an outside observer, we see all the different angles. As the Gemini, though, you’re going to feel like the same person, through and through, on the inside. “I don’t get this whole ‘two-faced’ thing,” more than one Gemini has commented, “I just don’t see it.” That’s because you’re not on the outside, looking in. Out here, what we see? I’ve actually watched, seen it before my very eyes, as a Gemini face has morphed, changed construction and the mood has slipped from one point to another. Right before my eyes. Happens. Get used to it. With what’s shaking, even as we speak? It’s going to be hard to remind everyone that you’re like a fine-cut gem-stone, however, you know it, I know it, and that’s al that matters. Remember that some people see you as multi-faceted. We, they, we’re not sure which face, or which tiny angle, we’re looking at. “But it’s just me,” your Gemini self intones. I understand that. Not everyone does. Work with us. You’re moving faster, changing quicker, than anyone else. Happy birthday!

Cancer: Birthdays start next week — that’s the fun part. There’s still Venus cooking along a little too slow, in Gemini. That’s the not so fun part. One of my secret vices has always been dollar stores. Goes back to formative years in my life, in old East Austin, and the dollar store there was the most interesting. Some good deals, so not so good deals, some crap and some clever marketing. It was the clever marketing that caught my attention the other afternoon.

Wasn’t a dollar store, but it was a location known and noted for steep discounts over regular retail price. The sign read, “$1.75 each or 2 for $4!” I worked through college calculus. I understand math. Not my favorite thing, but I understand it well enough to manipulate the numbers, and that’s some clever marketing. Buy 2, imply it’s cheaper and get more money. Move twice as much product, as well. Clever. Clever Cancer, you are. Watch for deals just like that. Better yet, make your own. There’s always someone willing to buy it. My suggestion, though, under this influence? Good time for Cancer to sell, bad time for Caner to buy.

Leo: This is convoluted, but then, what’s new? Fancy, swanky hotel downtown SA, has a public access, part of the roadway, part of the tax-payer supported street, part of that is a landing for the valet service. Legally, I can park a girlfriend’s car there, provided I adhere to the posted laws. Buddy of mine, Leo, works in the sort of hip coffee shop next door. My buddy depends on the good graces and tips (monetary and referential) of the valet. When I’ve parked there, girlfriend’s car has the right downtown stickers, it pisses off the valets. The problem is, in the letter (and intent) of the law, city ordinances and so forth? I’m right. Car can be parked right there in front of the fancy hotel. However, this makes for bad blood between the valet and the coffee shop and that means reduced tips and directions like, “There’s Starbucks about three blocks away,” instead of “This is a good place for coffee….” My parking there, and my running legal argument with the valet, the hotel manager and car hops, while I’m legally, right? In the interest of what’s best for my Leo buddy, not directly affected, but indirectly affected? I shouldn’t be having a pissing match and war of wits with humor-challenged, dim-witted valet guys. Creates bad blood, all the way around, and my Leo buddy suffers when his buddies, the car hops, have a pissing argument with me. Moral high ground is one thing, but practical application, and real world situations, that is another situation altogether. Be nice. Actions can have far-ranging implications. I never, ever want to make trouble for my Leo buddy.

Virgo: Lot of people are out of work. Buddy of mine, he does construction-type work, and he’s been busy the last few months. Virgo buddy, at that, not named ‘bubba,’ if you have to know, and I’m sure you do. He basically works for himself, and as a Virgo, you know how dangerous that can be, being Virgo and all, your own, worst critic. His lament was classic for where we’re at, “I got new Ought-Six, man, I haven’t even sited that baby in yet. Been too busy to even do that.” New ought-six means a new deer rifle, as in 30.06, the ubiquitous deer hunter tool. Takes a few hours, but most of that is spent driving to a secluded spot, setting up a target, walking back and forth to judge where the bullets are going, make the tiniest of adjustments to the scope’s mount, and get comfortable with firing that weapon. Deer rifle. This isn’t about hunting, whether it’s for sport or food (my buddy does it for both, has the best recipe for venison sausage). This isn’t about deer hunting, or rifles, or shooting animals in the woods. This about being too busy to take time out for the things we love. No time to site-in the new aught six? In this day and age, if the last of Gemini Sun is providing work, paying work? We can always go out and site the rifles in some other weekend.

Libra: I got an e-mail question, but I’d rather answer it here. They’re no specifics, but my answer? The short form? “Oh how little you know about a bureaucracy.” The best example is now debunked by Snopes, however, it’s still a valid point. My short answer still stands. It’s a patronizing tone, coming from me. It’s a frankly vicious comment, from me. While I intend no harm, it’s still that tone. The message is clear, too, just because, as a knowledgeable and capable Libra, just because you see a way to make this easier? Just because there is an obviously superior way to get this done? That doesn’t mean anyone, well, other than me, no one will be willing to listen to your idea. I think it’s bloody well brilliant, and it could save dollars and hours, but that doesn’t mean anyone will let you through the bureaucratic nightmare and legal entanglements therein, nope, not getting through any of that to get what you want. Sorry. So my answer to this week’s question? Again, “Oh how little you know about a bureaucracy.”

Scorpio: I sat down with a Scorpio, doing a reading for her. In her chart, there was there was strong, non-Scorpio signature. Very un-Scorpio-like. On the table, I had an almost empty glass of water, maybe an inch or two of water in the bottom of tall glass. “Half-empty or half-full?” I asked. “Look, see,” then with uncharacteristic wit, “there’s some water — here, I’ll get you a refill…” I smiled broadly. A good Scorpio will say, “It’s almost empty!” And, “It’s summer, we’re on the verge of the desert! This terrible! Drought! Pestilence and ruin, oh rue the day!” Difference is degrees. In this example, which one are you? The good Scorpio by my definition? Or the non-Scorpio Scorpio, like that one girl? Basic, very binary consideration for Scorpio and attitude is all about how well or how poorly, you get by this next few days. Half-full. Half-empty?

Sagittarius: Hoja Santa, also known as, “The Root Beer Plant,” is a common ingredient in one South Texas restaurant. Of note, because the first time I read the menu item, Hoja Santa, I was rather curious. I tried something else that time, but my date had the Hoja Santa chicken, and in true Tex-Mex, fusion cuisine fashion, a Mesoamerican name for the herb and yet, the frankly English name for the chicken. Anyway, it is difficult to describe what the flavor is like, sort licorice or mint, but the purported medicinal qualities of the herb were equally intriguing. As the Sun concludes its annual trip through the sign opposite our Sagittarius selves, what better way to celebrate the opposition and other divergent elements than with a new dish? Something a little different. Something that isn’t exactly new, and it isn’t exactly that safe, it is, but it is also a little on the daring side. Just what you need.

Capricorn: On Interstate 35, between San Antonio and Austin, on the right-hand side of the freeway, there’s this one spot, I passed it for years, sign said, “Outlet Mall.” The sign was over a bald patch of earth with a single concrete slab in one corner of the lot. Nothing else. What kind of outlet was it? What stood there before? Where did it go? Why is the sign left there? Is there going to be another outlet mall of some kind? A single observation, but after running up and down that Old Austin Highway a number of times, and seeing the same scene, I’m inclined to make up stories. It was, my guess, a mobile home “outlet mall,” and as such, when the hard times hit, the owners pulled up stakes and skated. I don’t know, for sure. Just hazarding a guess. There was a boom for that kind of housing, at one time. And there still is, quite frequently alongside the old Austin Highway, mobile home dealers of various ilk. New, used, repo, got them all. Come and go. Which is why I was curious why the “outlet mall” was never developed into a second (retail) life. The only permanent fixture was the concrete slab and the sign. Obviously, since it’s been, like, a decade or more that I’ve been running up and down that road, those fixtures have withstood the test of time. As a Capricorn, careful about what’s a fluid state, like a mobile home business, and what’s not, like a concrete slab. Perhaps a signpost, too, but more, I’m thinking, concrete slab. What can you pick up and take with you, if you need (have a sudden urge) to decamp in a hurry? Hook that office up to the bumper of the truck and roll.

Aquarius: “There’s nothing like a man in chaps,” one of my clients was telling me. I’ll guess that comment is more than tinged with sexual innuendo. The problem being, I’m used to Brush Country chaps, which are short, just a heavy canvas that covers the thighs and sometimes, goes as far as the mid-calf, but this style of chaps is for working in the harsh, South Texas mesquite-brush filled cow country. These aren’t the long chaps of TV cowboys, or movies. These are working chaps. So, in context, the original comment doesn’t do a lot for me. However, I can understand, emotionally, I can grasp the concept of the comment, the TV iconography makes the chaps look sexy. The black, fringe encrusted motorcycle chaps I’ve seen, that makes sense. The shape and cut seems to emphasize a certain portion of the anatomy of the male wearing them, wearing the chaps. How will you accentuate the strong points in Aquarius?

Pisces: Because travel is ingrained in the very fiber of my being, to this day, I carry emergency reserves of numerous items. There’s an iPod/iPhone connector cord, just a spare. There’s little red Fang Sway envelope with a coin in it. There a handful of various pills and potions, in plastic bags. A digital camera cable, sort a generic USB cable. I keep all this stuff, and an earring, a travel toothbrush, some lip balm, and more, in simple, zip-up tote bag. Just handy stuff, some emergency supplies, and a lot of material that would normally roll around in the bottom of the travel bag. All I did was collect the spurious crap and put it all into a single, soft-sided tote inside a tote. Collecting extraneous crap, day-to-day stuff, and the odd selection of material that we tote around in life, collect all of this and put it in one place. There’s a good luck charm, a St. Christopher pedant, and more. What stuff, items, tokens, treasures and tools are you going to carry forward? Next question, how are you going to carry these things?

Aries: As the pressure mounts in Aries again, I’m amazed. I’m amazed at the short-term memory of the Aries mind. Usually a quick mind that rapidly assimilates material, digests data and arrives at a sound and reasoned conclusion, yes, usually. Really? Yes. You sure? Yes. No, really? Yes. See how this is going? Second guessing doesn’t work. Sun/Pluto oppose each other in another week, ten days, looks like. Two weeks. Both those create a tension angle (square) to Uranus, cooking along in the early degrees of Aries. How you play this out, what you do with this tension is purely up to you. I’m thinking, though, that you’ve got a chance to make single, sensible decision. Not a choice like I’d make, wherein I would be wrong, but a choice that would help your Aries self move forward. Matter of properly engaging the energy, as dictated by the planets. It’s there, don’t vacillate. There’s a very clearly right decision. Might not be the most comfortable, but you know what to do.

Taurus: Buddy of mine asked, as he had two-day layover in London, “You know London, what should I do?” Two days? Not a lot of time. I’d hit a few things, like pick one of the museums, my personal preference is obviously the Tate Modern, but either Tate, depending on personal taste, or the Museum of London, which is an excellent overview of London’s history. Pick one. Skip the British Museum as it’s too overwhelming. The British Museum deserves two weeks. Two days, remember? Then I’d hit High Tea, pick a spot, consider it a meal. In fact, for two days? High Tea be enough food. Call it the only meal. Finally, I’d have to include the noon communion at Westminster Abbey. Half-hour, High Anglican (low church) service. While St. Paul’s is arguably more famous, that noon service at Westminster Abbey is amazing. The other option, depends on what’s on stage at the moment, but same day tickets for theater are usually a good deal, but that option depends on personal preference for live theater. Me? I’d hit something by Shakespeare. Just pick a few high points, next couple of days.

Don’t try to do everything, my fine Taurus friend.

Don’t try to do everything. Pick a couple of high points, pick a few important items.

Don’t try to do to much, like, in two days, shoot for, maybe, three items to check off that Taurus list.