Fishing Guide to the Stars 11.10.2011

“There is means, madam;
Our foster-nurse of nature is repose,
The which he lacks; that to provoke in him,
Are many simples operative, whose power
Will close the eye of anguish.”
The doctor in Shakespeare’s King Lear [IV.iv.13-4]

    It’s just one of many references in Shakespeare’s canon about herbs and naturopathy. The powers of the natural world. Nature’s natural sleeping pill, be my guess. Scorpio: One the admirable traits about Scorpio is self-sufficiency. Happy Birthday to that one, you thought I missed it. Anyway, what I like about a good Scorpio, and you’re reading this, so you are a good Scorpio, is there is a can-do, will-do, don’t-need-any-help attitude. I’m sure this is borne out of years of other people being mean to your sweet, Scorpio self. Yes, I know, “I’ll be revenged on the whole lot of you!” Different Scorpio, not you.

This ability to survive, thrive and even entertain yourself is being called forth, this week. Got a couple of dead periods, or time off, or time on, or a break of some kind. Between the birthday party time and the rest of the week, you’ve got a little down time. Time when your own pursuits, hobbies, work-related tasks, and so forth? A time when that is a good idea. Self-entertaining. I have to go through this, time and again, with a host. “Self-entertaining, don’t worry about me, I can work the remote for the TV.” That’s you, this week. Be prepared to entertain your Scorpio self, besides, who could be better company?

Sagittarius: I’ve got some very simple advice. Let’s look at the planets, involved on this one. First, it’s Venus, in Sagittarius, just warming us up and making us feel good. All over. Venus is kind like that. Then there’s Mercury, adding an added ability to communicate about how nice everything is turning out. Maybe adding too much desire to talk, but there you have it. Then there’s Mars, as soon as he storms into Virgo, a special Virgo will rain down epithets, and never mind that now.

Venus helps us make nice. Like, don’t pick a fight when it’s just easier not engage. Smile, act like it doesn’t matter. Mercury makes us want to talk about it, but then, talking it out just leads to a lot of hot air, useless and empty verbiage. Finally, as Mars ramps his approach, and gets the Virgo thing into a gear, stop and think about that Virgo stuff. With that one Virgo, no matter what I do? Ain’t right. “Isn’t right, don’t be colloquial.” See? So the short answer is? Make nice; no fights. Keep quiet, make nice, no fights. Capricorn: Crank it up. It’s that simple. Plug into whatever music you like. One the largest, biggest selling bands, over the years, I mean, are these guys still around? I was listening to AC/DC. Greatest hits. Stop snickering. It’s “metal” according to some, and it’s still one of the highest grossing bands — even better when compared with the first place. Crank it up. Disturb the neighbors. Rock out. Perhaps dance around and play the air guitar. Only warning you get? Make sure it’s in place where no one will watch. Or see you. Tucked away in my office, it’s okay. Flip the hair around. Thunderstuck! This is private rock reverie brought by the planets. The moon’s position isn’t so good, but the rest of it? Some kind of private way to rock out. Headphones come to mind. That might work, just be careful, no singing along. Fire Your Guns on the Highway to Hell. You’re TNT.

Aquarius: I got to see one of the greats in County Music, on stage. He’s old. His stage show was different from most of what I’m used to, no fireworks, no stacks of amps, no psychedelic light shows, no video feed with three screens, none of that. One song, he just rhapsodized in three-part harmony. That, in and of itself, that was pretty cool. It’s something that will never be caught on an album. An added dimension to the live show. Something for an audience to take home. The other, seriously striking element, about this performer, was the “class” imparted to the act. No backdrops. No props. No stage antics. A little banter, a few notes, a nod, and tightly choreographed music. Just music. The part about the three singers, alone, with a simple guitar and stand up bass? One microphone? That’s what this week, in Aquarius, is all about. Do it with class. Class doesn’t have to be showy, ostentatious or pretentious, let the minimalist way show how it’s really done. Little bit of Aquarius class.

Pisces: I’ve used this analogy before, but it bears repeating.

It all depends.

That’s what up with this week. If there’s a weak spot, it’s going to be revealed. Mars will be opposite Chiron and that points to a place that needs holistic healing and health. Needs work. Good point though. The analogy, though, it has to do with how you judge how well you’ve done. Over the day over the week, in this lifetime.

What, how do you measure success? Cold weather, we get a spurt of cold weather in November. Lakes cool off. Fish sleep. Or whatever it is the fish do. I take it easy. The first day that was really cold, like in the 60s? I was working at the little laptop that I use to run this outfit, and I never left the place. I was in a robe, eventually, I showered, but I never left the home. Just stayed in. It was bitterly cold at night. That also means I was barefoot the whole day. That makes the day a smashing success. I also got to proof a column that you’ll see very soon, so that was good, too. I was barefoot for a whole day. What do you use to measure your success? How does that success compare with the one, single glaring point that needs to be corrected?

Aries: I toyed with music, a King James Bible, and the usual astrology texts. None of it worked, as I was stuck. I’m stuck with an old metaphor and no place to use it. But I’ll try. Here’s the deal, as Mars moves in Virgo, it makes an strange little angle to Uranus, already in Aries. That’s the spark. Spark. A simple spark that can ignite a huge fire. Bonfire. Conflagration. Big fire. A single, maybe enven small idea can get launched into a huge deal. Take off, take over, and run with it. Here’s where I earn my money: in the next 7 days, you’ve got to latch onto that idea and make this work. You have ot make it work. If it’s the right spark that moment of dare I call it divine inspiration? Then this is the time. Run with it. Fan that flame. Cherish the spark, the single idea, and nourish with tender tinder. It’s all about taking the smallest of spark and turning that into the biggest of deals. You can do it.

Taurus: I once asked a famous astrologer for a book recommendation. It was that single, epic tome I wanted to find. Simply, the most important book for his astrology education. I asked. He listed a few. On that same list, here, let me spell it out, two books I use the most, now? Planets in Transit and The Sabian Symbols in Astrology. Those are the two, the “go-to” of astrological reference manuals for me. The first is considered a bible, in its breadth and scope, and the other is the starting point for a more esoteric field of study. Do this long enough, and those two books are key. I could narrow it down, but the first is really useful for tickling a tough reading and making some sense of it all. The second is just a pure joy; although, it does take some technical skill to understand. As a Taurus, you’re in a situation, coming up, what’s your “go-to” reference point? In my example, what book I keep handy, but in your situation, what’s the single, most important tool?

Gemini: Mars is setting you up for some troubling times. Won’t last long, but this is exacerbated by the Venus/Mercury pressure in Sagittarius. This is one of the times I try and warn you about. Moon is passed being full. Sun is in Scorpio, still, a fixed water sign. Emotive. Aforementioned Mercury and Venus, in Sagittarius, just cranking up the Gemini meter? None of this is particularly difficult until you factor in Martian Energy. It’s like following a double shot of espresso with an energy drink. Too wired for your own good? Too wired for our good, that’s for sure. This what I’m warning you about. “I’m not wired,” you do protest. Then why are you hanging from a chandelier? The serious problem it’s less like you’re hanging from the ceiling, looks more like you’re swinging on it. Is this really a problem? Not for Gemini, but thanks to Mars and Mercury, and what all? You seemed determined to make it our problem.

Cancer: Old trailer park in Austin. Old girlfriend lived there. She’s not that old, so she’s just a girlfriend, and never mind the details. Cancer girl, here’s the deal, I was stretched out on the couch, looking at a magazine, and she scurried, from the shower to the kitchenette and back. Her hair was wet and she was wrapped in a robe, but that really didn’t matter much. I’d seen it all, the night before. Not what this is about. What it’s about is the way she scurried, head down, not looking. If she didn’t see me looking in an appraising fashion, which I was, then it didn’t count, and she was, effectively, invisible. Just because she didn’t see me, she knew I was there, and I think she murmured, “don’t look,” but I can’t be sure. More like a squeak. I wasn’t there by surprise, and I did look, and even fresh out of the shower she was quite fetching, and that’s not what this is about. I kept thinking about her, “If I don’t see you then you’re not looking at me” attitude. Does that really work? If you can’t see the problem, does the problem exist? It’s a Scorpio thing, I’d guess. Sun’s in Scorpio, get it?

Leo: I lived, more than a decade in a trailer. Less than 300 square feet, me and a fat cat. That trailer had this tiny closet that I had crammed full up with crap. Clothes. T-shirts from a decade ago. Old business records. Floppy disks from that era of machine. Boots and sandals. Skinny jeans, fat jeans, parts of three tuxedos, don’t even ask about formal wear and me, and then, other crap, like unused fishing equipment. That’s a lot of material that was careful packaged away in a trailer’s closet. Move the wrong container and the whole thing would come unravelled. Never fit it all back in, t was like a puzzle. That closet? As Mars exits your sign? That closet is the supposed Leo destination. “Once and for all, I’m cleaning that sucker out.” No. Not now. Good idea, wrong time. Great idea, put it on the list of the goals set int he Leo future at a date yet-to-be determined. Tempting as it might be, not now, not yet. Good idea to have a list. Then, a better idea? Get your minions to tend to such matters as cleaning up your carefully packed away mess. This sin’t a taks for the mighty Leo, not this week.

Virgo: “I’m not pissed off, it’s just no one is moving fast enough!” I’m here as the advance warning network. The Full Moon is very stubborn. Then, just after the moon is full, Mars makes a triumphal return to Virgo. “I’m not pissed off, just no one seems to be moving at all!” You get the lead out. You move. No one else seems to move, and it feels like they are all stuck, immobile. Stopped. Welcome to stubborn energy. That’s what I was talking about. “I’m not pissed off, but you could move it along and get the point.” Which is the point. You sound pissed. Quite and royally so. “I’m not pissed off, but if you keep this up, I will be.” At me. I know, I just tried to warn you. Don’t get irritated with me. Or the other people who keep moving so slow. With Mars, as soon as it enters, you’ll feel it, with Mars in your sign, there’s a level of frustration. Deal with it in an appropriate fashion. Or not. But don’t get pissed at me. “You’re not starting that again, are you?” I didn’t start anything.

Libra: In 1912, Otto Frederick Rohwedder invented sliced bread. I know this because I dug the information out of a book about marketing. The part that was more important, though, was his invention — sliced bread — didn’t catch on for another decade. In the book, this was about marketing. In Libra, this is about whether or not you want to wait a decade for some rewards. Like recognition. Like the hackneyed expression, “Better than sliced bread?” I’m unsure of the decade-long wait for an idea from the Libra camp to catch on, but it might well feel like it takes a decade. Might be a little less, but not by much. I’m just warning that it might not catch on as fast as you would like. I didn’t say it wouldn’t work, and you know what? It must be better than sliced bread.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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  • Sarah Smith Nov 10, 2011 @ 17:00

    I can tell from this weeks scopes, you’ve had your full share of “those” conversations. Haven’t we all?