Fishing Guide to the Stars 12.1.2011

“Why, then in the sweet o’ the year;
For the red blood reigns in the winter’s pale.”
Shakespeare’s Winter’s Tale [IV.ii.1]

Mercury RX in Sagittarius. (Oh, this will be a fun Xmas season!) Sagittarius: Perfect fine print? “To avoid injury, read all the information in this guide before proceeding.” It’s tantamount to, “Read the instructions,” and one girlfriend always chimes in, “yeah, read the destructions.” Yes, she’s funny. I am a Sagittarius so I understand that guidelines and rules are just for people who aren’t as bright as we are, and the masses need some kind of emotional crutch to rely upon, therefore, their rules and guidelines. The kind of hardware I’m used to? Whether it’s fishing gear or computer equipment, I’m used to diving right in and not reading any instructions.

“User Guides” are for wimps!

Stop. My extra-fine, ever-so long-suffering Sagittarius friend. Stop. Give it a pause. Stop. Read the instructions. Look at the exploded diagram. Look at the exploded diagram or risk an inopportune explosion, not of our Sagittarius liking. “To avoid injury, read all the information in this guide before proceeding.” Capricorn: I was coming up from the Riverwalk across the new bridge that spits out at the front door of the San Fernando Cathedral. Warm winter’s day, the oblique sunlight warming bare legs and feet shod in sandals. I’d been listening to random music on my phone, and as I approached the cathedral, the majestic 1738 building, twin spires, blue South Texas sky, another song cycled up. AC/DC. Hell’s Bells. There’s a rather iconic, to me, introduction with a bell tolling, at the start of that song. A signature riff. Then the usual. I was impressed with the synchronism of tawdry, pop-culture metal music and their token “anti-christ” attitude, as I was approaching a Holy Catholic Church.

There are two distinct interpretations for that. One is the Lord Himself is sending me a message. When I pass that particular church, I tend to stop, cross myself, and wander in to pray and/or meditate. I have difficulty not mocking some of the institution, but other parts I revere. Part of the message might be to assume that messages will get confused. Was that the Devil talking to me? Or maybe an angel with special message? Makes you wonder. Makes me wonder, maybe you don’t. Mercury is headed backwards in Sagittarius, now. I’d just sit back and be amused with the synchronism. I couldn’t have picked that song if I’d planned any better, myself.

Aquarius: I’d like to think that my “Best Air Sign” Aquarius friends are usually pretty immune to the machinations of Mercury. Usually, you are. This one is hitting at a strange time, in strange place, and in a strange way. Can’t do anything about that. It’s going to be weird and that’s weird compared to your normal, Aquarius weirdness. Cope with it. First off, review some of my material about Mercury Retrograde. I’ve written extensively about the pitfalls, pratfalls, and some solutions. The obvious? Don’t. Don’t engage. Don’t buy it. Don’t automatically say yes. Don’t disagree. That’s a conflicting set of commands. As an Aquarius, I’m sure you can figure it out. The meaning is simple: delay. Don’t delay, but maybe request an extension, long enough to get a second opinion. I’d like to think that you wind up with paralysis analysis. I’m just, see, it’s like this: Mercury in Retrograde isn’t the end. But it does impart a little bit of backwards wisdom. Can’t complain that this one crept up on you. I warned you before.

Pisces: I’ve been known to get obsessive about certain details. Like a bloodhound on the scent, I get an idea, a notion, some topic and I’ll research that item excessively. Exhaustively. I’d like to suggest that this is the perfect Mercury Retrograde period to get obsessive about a topic. An issue, a gift, like, hey, how about trying to find the perfect Xmas gift for me? A little self-serving, but after all, Pisces is a giving sign? Here’s the deal, before you spend one, thin dime on me. No money, got that? We have to ascertain that it is something I don’t already have two or three of, an item that is both rare and useful, and something that I would like to keep. Okay, this isn’t really about me. It’s Mercury Backwards in Sagittarius in such a way as to make you go way off tangent, and forget what the original objective was, and it’s not me. It’s about being obsessive, and maybe, being obsessive about the wrong thing. Is that bad? Depends on what you dig up, but one item I haven’t been able to find is Duff Beer fishing lure. Bass lure. Topwater, and proof they’ll hit anything.

Aries: I tend to keep records, digital archives, of most of my material. I had a request from a client for a copy of reading we’d done in the last year. I dug around and looked, and I tend to keep copies of the readings, at least for a year, but I couldn’t find it. I used to use the first name. Or the sign, but over time, that kind of filing system proved unwieldily, at best. I started adding a month, and then, I would use an abbreviation for the year, like this would “12.11,” makes sense, no? Works. Sort of. Until I got stuck digging for a particular record. Record keeping is important, I’d guess. Why I always suggest dating a Virgo, as they tend to keep excellent records. Would that we could all date a Virgo, huh. This experience I had, trying to locate a record points to the issues at hand. My “Kramer” method works in small batches, like first name and/or sign. My method doesn’t work with larger groups, or numbers that get up there into the hundreds. As Xmas Season rolls ever onward, and before the new year arrives, figure out how you’re going to tackle what the future holds. Like me? My old methods need to be changed a little. So do yours.

Taurus: Old habits die hard. I suppose there’s a Die Hard movie joke. I’m not much on that branch of cinema experience, I don’t think I saw all of them, just the last one. Or second to last one, or whatever it was with the “I’m a mac” guy. This isn’t about old movies, either, this is about old habits that die harder. I was responding to legal inquiry and I had to sign a form, a consent form. “Okay, if you print it out, sign and then fax it back to me….” Stop right there. Fax it back? Do people still have faxes? I haven’t had one since, been a long time I was on the cutting edge of tech, but that was then, and this is now. I signed the electronic document, and sent it back via e-mail, like normal business is now done. Then, out of habit, I printed it out, and dropped that in the mail to the recipient. That’s the old habit that doesn’t want to die. One printer here is out of ink, so it’s not like I print a lot of stuff these days. Still, I did follow the electronic copy with a hard copy. Was that a necessary step? Hey, Mercury, Retrograde in Sagittarius? Doesn’t hurt. That old habit that won’t go away? Maybe, you know, wait until the end of the year to shake it.

Gemini: I have images of a child at Xmas, running amuck under the family Xmas tree. This isn’t about religion, really, unless retail is a religion. Which it might be, I’m thinking about my Gemini Sister. However the image for this week is simple, it’s a small child, tearing through the house, infused with too much sugar-induced energy.

It’s just not a pretty sight.

The kid gets that maniacal look, and then ricochets off the living room furniture to bounce elsewhere. There’s a frantic, headlong pace. I’ve intercepted that child once, as she went flying by, I just made a scoop with my left arm, and caught her, as she spirited past, and I spun around to harness the momentum the kid was carrying.

It’s Xmas time, and sugar plum fairies, whatever those are, dancing in their ADHD, MTV, Internet-enabled, smartphone, iProduct heads. I’m Sagittarius, and I know, love and admire Gemini. Which is why I could catch that one, and turn it into a good situation. If there is no kindly, wise Sagittarius to turn this around? You’re going to continue to bounce off the furniture in no particular direction.

Cancer: I’ve got one professional friend who times matters exactly by the various synodic elements in a planet’s location. Times Mercury Retrograde to the minute and watches for smallest hint of trouble. While that’s fine, and I do have a report that will help you micro-manage your own life with astrology, that’s not what I suggest. There is, though, the strangest example of a shining moment, sandwiched between two places. At the very beginning of this horoscope, there’s a window of opportunity. I’d take it. That simple. Jump and go, don’t look back, and remember that Mr. Mercury is trying to mess with your Cancer head/heart. Which one? Part of the fun of Mercury being backwards, never know just which part will be the main target. I’ll go with the heart, though, in this case; although, think about it, it could be the brain. Never can tell. Upsets will occur and that shining, brilliant moment? Wait too long and it’s passed you by. Before this weekend? Yes! After this weekend? Might want to put it on “Mercury is in Retrograde and I need to pause for the cause” mode.

Leo: Shakespeare’s Coat of Arms was issued in 1599. It was a big step forward for the Shakespeare family. In part, this was something that young Will did to appease his father. I’ve been trying to figure out a current equivalent of the Coat of Arms, as recorded in the British Isles. We have some local legislation, as applied to land and water rights, that dates to French and Spanish colonial eras. Not quite the same. In the modern era, I’m not sure that a business or even an IPO would be the same as that Coat of Arms. The symbols made the family “legitimate,” and in a sense signaled that they had “arrived.” After a fashion. My own “coat of arms,” more a logo than anything else, is a caricature of me with a cowboy hat, me talking on a phone, over a cow skull, and instead of crossed swords, the heraldic device is crossed fishing poles. The original idea was a spin on skull and crossed bones, the pirate flag. I’m thinking that you need to revisit the idea of a Leo Coat of Arms. What would you include. I thought it was amusing, dead cow skull, fishing poles, phone. That’s my modern take on a coat of arms. What would fit The Leo best? I’m thinking crown and an old book to remind you that Mercury is headed into a nasty little retrograde pattern. Usual warnings apply.

Virgo: Mars is direct and directly affecting Virgo. At a tense and terse angle, there’s Mercury, starting a backwards moving pattern. This sets up a tension-filled week, fraught with ominous overtones, and the voice in the back of the Virgo head? “Oh, no good will ever come from this.” Are we doomed? Hardly. I wrote a tiny book to deal with exigencies of Mercury’s machinations. Just like this. The problem is that Mars excites, motivates and generally ramps up the energy in Virgo. This Martian Motivation is compounded by a tense and harsh mercurial angle. Makes this just worse. The holidays bring out the best and worst in everyone. In this next few days, you’re going to see the best and worst in everyone. Possibly all at the same time. Good? Bad? Ugly? All of that, next two days or three. Realize it’s the planets, those two especially, the two M planets, and they are making the consternation. Doesn’t mean it’s bad, it’s how you approach what is brought up for review by Mercury.

Libra: As ‘December’ and ‘Mercury backwards’ both start, I was thinking about some recent Shakespeare scholarship. While the entire canon is ripe with legal jokes, starting with some of his earliest work, “First we kill all the lawyers,” and moving forward, more recent research is tending away from Shakespeare being any kind of legal assistant or performing in lawyer’s office. Closest that came to happening could be some of the later plays performed at the Inns of Court, in the winter. Despite the English teachers professing “Shakespeare was involved in the law” in some capacity, as it turns out, most of the plays written in that era had lawyer jokes. Legal jokes. It wasn’t such a big deal. Terms crop up and that’s what seems to be the clue, but the same legal terms run throughout all the plays from that era, not just Shakespeare’s work.

This is a debate for which there is no end. Justice will never be served in this case as we have no authoritative resource than can adequately prove — or disprove — the theory. No way to know for sure. However, in this example, anecdotal evidence and careful scholarship as well as thorough textual examination does seem to bear out the more recent conclusion. Be willing to bend, under Saturn’s strain, and be willing to look at old facts in new light, especially with the onset of the holiday.

Scorpio: Retrograde Jupiter is at the entrance to Taurus. This marks a significant turning point for Scorpio. Jupiter, even when retrograde, can evoke and invoke powerful feelings and events. There’s a caution, too, as we look at this, going forward with that big planet stuck backwards. I’ve carried around, not literally, but certainly in digital form, an early November image. One of the fields alongside a highway, on the way to a lake. The image, the fields and low, rolling hills are covered with low-lying fog. More like a heavy ground mist, and it was, in reality, low coastal moisture, heavy in the wan winter’s light. Most near unseasonably warm, too. Zipping along in my buddy’s truck, boat in tow, the low fog made for a mystical appearance. Didn’t shroud the road, just hugged the landscape. Spooky, in a way, mystical, in a way, evocative, in a way, and yet, no real danger was present. We were in a hurry to a favorite fishing place. Dappled November sun eventually burned it off. Took a while. Kind of cool, in its way, and that’s what I’m talking about with Jupiter, in its current position, and what it means. Like that fog. Good day to fish, no matter what you’re fishing for.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

Use of this site (you are here) is covered by all the terms as defined in the fineprint, and there might be, maybe, a material connection between the hot links and this site (sometimes).

© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for &c.

  • Sarah Smith Dec 1, 2011 @ 16:05

    Absolutely fascinating link to “Sociological Images”. I didn’t see your sign “You aim, please” however. How could they have missed it?

    And the funny Yeti thing…Angry Birds analysis was interesting…

  • kramerw Dec 1, 2011 @ 20:25

    Buy Yetti-Cakes! Sagittarius Approved!