Fishing Guide to the Stars for the week 12.8.2011

“Why, what’s the matter,
That you have such a February face,
So full of frost, of storm and cloudiness?”
Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing [V.iv.45-7]

    As much a winter quote as anything, although not so much with local weather.
    It was cold….
    Mercury starts to thaw a little, too, at the end of the scope.
    Mercury -> direct Dec 13. Sagittarius Sagittarius: Happy Birthday my Sagittarius brothers and sisters! We rock! Got that out of the way, now, as an observation, I was at the mall, could be any suburban mall. Happened to be one near me. We parked far away, ease of exit, and then I paused, before the long trudge in to the shopping arena. For me, holiday shopping is more like a spectator sport rather than its true form as a contact sport. So the pause gave my companion a problem. Across the lot, there was a new Ferrari. Yellow one. 12 cylinder motor. Might have those gull wing doors — I don’t know. Ferrari is no longer a huge interest for me. As a much younger man, I’m sure both the status and the sheer mechanical engineering was intimidating. Not so much, not now. Cool car, just not one of the items I desire or have mental power to comprehend. I’d rather be fishing. The car attracted a small crowd. Guy pulled up in a big Hummer-looking thing. Got out, walked around the car, pointed at something. Nodded to his passenger. Got back in. I wasn’t curious about the car, I was interested in the parking lot reactions to the car. As a Sagittarius, though, and with birthdays going on now, and Mercury, well, the worst is over, but the Sun/Moon? Anyway, more interested in the car? Or the way people react to the car?

Capricorn: I tend to be amused with this material, but then, that’s me. As a Capricorn, you can be amused, along with me, or you can fret. It’s your choice. I’d break it down even further, as in you can worry, or not. I see no room for middle ground. Either you are freaked out, or you are calm.

If I were a much younger man, I would freak out. “The end of the world is near!” That cry, along with all the folderol about the Harmonic Convergence, Y2K and now, 2012? All about the same. You can panic, or you can calmly move forward. There’s this tiny window of opportunity that you’ve got, and now is the time to start taking steps forward.

It’s simple, really.

Mars, in Virgo, moving forward.

Mercury, in Sagittarius, scaring up the worst nightmares, and Uranus, in Aries, cooking along as is a retrograde Jupiter in Taurus.

Panic and mayhem? Or calmly setting one foot in front of the other while everyone else freaks out?

It’s your choice.

Aquarius: This isn’t about Aquarius, not really, It’s about the other signs. This isn’t about you, not particularly. The recent “Mercury is Retrograde” thing was marginally upsetting. It’s done with, for now. Mostly. Sort of. Kind of. Not entirely. See, there’s more. Much, much more. You groan. I pontificate. What I’m trying to get right now, is silence. Aquarius silence. You’re right. You’re always right. We know that. I know it, anyway. See? The problem isn’t you. It’s the other 11 signs in the zodiac. The biggest issues, for you, are Gemini and Sagittarius, certainly signs I favor. Like, I favor us — a lot. But that’s not the problem. The problem is a Gemini, or Sagittarius, or some other sign — but not Aquarius — will be talking a mile a minute. That’s 60 MPH. All nonsense. Total crap.

Listen? Yes, you should. Correct us? No. You can correct us in your mind. You can make notes about how we’re hopelessly incorrect, but out loud? Nothing. Don’t say a thing. Yes, we’re wrong, and you’re right, but to point it out in the next couple of days? Bad idea. Two elements prompt you to talk, three elements, prompt you to talk, Uranus direct in Aries Mercury almost un-retrograde in Sagittarius and the holidays. Knowing that right and silent? It’s priceless.

Pisces: I was walking home, early winter afternoon, not really cool out, nice, South Texas sun overhead… And the aroma caught up with me. Spiced, mulled apples. Or Holiday Frangipani. Or Warm Pumpkin Latte. It’s one of those holiday smells from a holiday candle, and frankly, it’s not that enticing of an aroma. Not to me. Reminds me of holiday excess. Reminds me trying to be holiday cute when none of it really matters. The smell, it doesn’t matter, it’s a very artificial scent. What’s worse, it’s an artificial scent that is supposed to be appealing across the broadest spectrum. Probably scientifically designed that was. Annoys my nose. Annoys my psyche, which sits on top of my nose. I think it, in case you can’t figure it out, that that particular aroma is about three shades of awful. All in a single holiday candle. Further along, there was the smell of dead leafs, the crunch of brittle and brown oak leafs under my boots, and I felt better. The scent that tries too hard to be pleasant? Anything too artificial? Snowmen and cactus with Xmas lights in Austin? Tries too hard? Doesn’t work, and really just annoys you like that candle’s scent annoyed me. Back to basics, you’ll feel better.

Aries: As an Aries, I just see that you like to get a running start. As an astrologer, I see that it might not be the best idea. Start running, now, while Mercury is still up to his old tricks? Obfuscation, confusion, illusion, misdirection? Means you get a false start, real hope, but false start in the wrong direction. Wrong area. Right idea, wrong message. Right message, wrong interpretation. Get it? So, before you launch off on that new idea, fresh project year-end, new year concept? Before it gets off the ground? Before you take any definitive action? Ask for a second opinion. One Aries will argue with me, “But I’ve done my homework! All good to go!” It’s a like a rocket ship, the smoke billows out of the engine, and then the ship just sort of falls over on its side. Doesn’t go anywhere. Yet. Give me a few days to get this in working order for you. It is a good idea, and a it is a good launch point, just don’t push the button yet.

Taurus: Before the end of this year, there’s going to be a strong and effective turnaround in the Taurus life, as evidenced by the relative positions of the Sun and Mercury. Sun, Moon and Mercury. As a Taurus, you’re well on your way to seeing this happen. So maybe you don’t see it right now. Maybe there isn’t a clear path at this moment. Maybe it isn’t as obvious to you as it to me.

The planets, mostly a function of Mercury’s mercurial influence, they all start to line up a little better in the coming weeks. The problem is trying to accomplish too much in the next five, seven days. Not going to happen. Pretty clear message?

Let me explain: it’s not going to happen in the next couple of days. “But I have a deadline!” It gets pushed, or modified, or one more revision buys time. Doesn’t happen on scale. However, let’s look further on down the road, as you can prepare for a post-Mercury, pre-end-of-the-year conclusion that’s good. But the next 5-7 days? I can safely say, “Don’t count on it” (However, in that one case, I’m real willing to be wrong.)

Gemini: Click on send. It’s that simple. Buddy of mine, me and him, or, properly, him and I were having BBQ one brilliant winter afternoon. Sitting there, at the booth, talking about fishing, talking about his new deer rifle, talking about girlfriends and whatever, he had a picture. He pulled up his smart phone, which is a misnomer because the phones aren’t any smarter than the operators, and he showed me six or 8 point he bagged last month. I squinted at the phone’s tiny screen, and I said I couldn’t see it. He suggested he email the image.

I’m pretty sure it’s him, his rifle, and the deer on its side with my buddy cradling the antlers in his hand. “Did you get it?” I looked at my smart phone, “No.” “He flipped his phone around, did something, snapped the keyboard closed then opened it again. “How about now?” My phone hadn’t chimed, nothing new in the in-box. Shook my head now. “Damn thing.” He set it aside we had BBQ and talked of manly things. Girls and gifts. I walked home. He emailed me later, asked if I got the message rom his phone yet. No, no image. He called a little wile later, “You’ll get it now.” Click on send. Smart phones, like many other aspects of this week’s Gemini life, it only works if you click on send.

Cancer: Remember what Christmas Morning was like, when you were all of about 5 years old? There was a sense of wonder and merriment, subtle suspense, as the morning bright, cold and early? Something to see, something to do, wrapping paper flying everywhere? What made us so cynical? What happened? Oh yeah, we grew up. Here’s the deal, in advance of Xmas this year, in the next couple of days, you — your Cancer/Moon child energy — you get to experience that wonder, amazement, sheer delight, just like it was, when you were all of about five years old.

Here’s the problem with this good news: no one else gets it. Not at this time. You’re amazed, wondered, heart full of gratitude, all of that, love brimming over in your heart, you even like wise-ass astrologers like me. However, other than me, no one else gets it. That’s the real problem. You can try and share, but I doubt anyone else gets it. Is that a problem?

Leo: There’s an image that haunts me. It’s a lonely dock, long one, stretches out into the bay, the lake, the ocean. It’s a few feet or even tens of feet above the water. Might be low tide, high tide, or the lake, it never changes much. There’s usually a power pole, overhead light, sign post or similar singular element sticking up into the sky. Sunset, sunrise, clouds, clear, the background changes. Straight on, left of center, right point of view, it changes. It’s still a universal theme image. I have several dozen myself because the images were evocative of some experience, at the time. When I see those images, or some variation on the theme, it could be East Coast, West Coast, Third Coast (Texas Gulf Coast), doesn’t much matter, there’s at once a sense of calm.

There’s also the question of water, and the sky, if there are clouds, that’s water moisture, and the blue sky or the cloudy sky, or the whatever it is sky, that’s where water meets water. Liquid form meets gaseous form. That’s plain physics, or physical sciences. The art, with the framing of the dock, that’s the artist’s eye. In the holiday rush and crush? Find a quiet spot. Personally, I think going to the coast for a day or two of fishing is perfect. As THE Leo, my advice is to find that lonely spot. Where the elements combine, where you do your best work. Alone. Or lonely, if only for a small break. Get away from people. Just a suggestion, maybe, if you can, look for that one dock shot.

Virgo: Seems like I get this aggravating cough, every winter. Not really a cold, or a flu, but flu-like symptoms. I thought it was dust, but I did a fall cleaning, so that’s not it. I thought it might be allergies, but when I checked the pollen map, weather guide thing, nothing was in the air. When I looked at the astrology chart, I found a clue. Mars, in Virgo, Sun and Retrograde Mercury, not in Virgo (but making a tense angle to Virgo). Therein is the problem.

Now, what I have to do, what every good Virgo has to do, for the next few days, live with the cough. The aggravation. I know, it’s holiday time. Sun goes down before most people even get home. Bright, sparkly lights saying my life would be much better if I just bought this, or that, or this and that, or better yet a matched pair. One low price, right? None of that matters. It’s not a cough, it’s not cedar fever, it’s Mars and misaligned Mercury. Or the Sun and Mars, and the relative synodic position of Mercury. About a tablespoon of honey, a cup of hot water, maybe some apple cider vinegar, that would cure the cough. Time is a great healer, I just have to keep Virgo from doing something stupid between now and then.

Libra: I looked at the Fire and Earth Elements, Sun in Sagittarius (fire) and Mars in Virgo (earth) and here’s Libra, stuck between the two. There’s much commotion. There’s a big ruckus. There’s noise, and flares, fireworks and all sorts of holiday upheaval. None of this lands on you. None of this is about you. None of this has anything to do with Libra, directly. Some of it is important and not really tangential, but still, think about it.

Put the big deal into a better light and more gentle perspective. Is it really a big deal? At least one Libra will answer me, directly, without thought, “Yes. Yes it is. I guess you don’t understand what a big deal this is. I hate you.” Strong words. I’m used to it. I get shot at often. Pointed barbs about my prognostications, especially, when I’m later judged to be correct? Makes it worse. So before you fire up the hate mail, stop. Mercury will eventually correct its errant troubles. That, and you’ll find, I was right in my assumption that you’re not directly involved. Delivered!

Scorpio: Every December, it’s the same thing, a year-long overview of the planets. Every year, I’ve been doing this for over a decade now. I rather enjoy it, in places, but at other times, it’s more like work and less like fun. I’ve got another couple of weeks to work it out. I was worried but not as much, not now. I look forward to working on that one, long horoscope. It gives me a chance to catch up and check where I’ve been and what’s up and coming, in the new year.

The “doomsday” element for the next year? I’m not particularly on board with that mythology. Look at this list, Harmonic Convergence, Pluto in Sagittarius, Y2K, May 2000, the 2010 Bug? Nothing. 2012 isn’t a big deal. As Mercury grinds backwards and closer to Scorpio, and the holiday season with its artificial cheer grinds ever onwards, stop and consider myth versus reality. Stories and real events. There’s sometimes a link, and sometimes? Nothing.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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  • Sarah Smith Dec 9, 2011 @ 12:39

    And Uranus? Does it go direct one of these days?

  • kramerw Dec 9, 2011 @ 16:43

    Oh yes. Part the mix.

  • jose quinones Dec 14, 2011 @ 15:57

    Ha ha a lot of hate be stewing at this point!!