Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 1.19.2012

    “I fear, too early: for my mind misgives 
    Some consequence yet hanging in the stars 
    Shall bitterly begin his fearful date
    With this night’s revels and expire the term
    Of a despised life closed in my breast
    By some vile forfeit of untimely death.
    But He, that hath the steerage of my course,
    Direct my sail! On, lusty gentlemen!
    Shakespeare’s Romeo in Romeo and Juliet [I.iv.106-13]

Personal complaint: this week illustrates the problem with assigning an absolute number to when the signs change. The Sun moves into Aquarius on January 21st while Mars goes Retrograde in Virgo on the 25, at 23, +/-, your mileage may vary, see fine print for details.


astrofish.net Aquarius: There is “Some consequence yet hanging in the stars,” as Romeo would intone. With that speech, it’s at the end of that scene, Romeo sets forth on what will be his doom. As we get ready for Mr. Mars to turn backwards, I’m reminded of a flood, some years back. High water in the Colorado River, a small portion of the bank eroded away and the neighbor’s trailer, its “foundation” began to sag.

Cinderblocks, just needed a board shoved under the tail end of the trailer to level everything up again. No big deal, not really. Just a shim, just wedged another board up under the trailer and it was level and secure again. Not my place, and that trailer park is now a condo high rise so the point doesn’t matter. The idea is that the Mars, in its position, relative to Aquarius, what it does is shake the foundation. That one was caused by a flood. I’ve also seen foundations sink and crack due to drought. Cause? Mars in apparent retrograde motion, up and coming. Solution? Adjust that foundation. Probably needed to level the Aquarius trailer, anyway.

astrofish.net Pisces: I’ve used the term, “Teflon,” to refer to Pisces as most stuff just doesn’t seem to stick. Problems, hurts, crap that sticks to other people? Slides right off that Pisces “no stick” coating. One girlfriend had a special brand of “patented, no-stick, micro-fiber, textured cookware,” which, true to its marketing hype, cooked better and stuck less. However, that stuff had to be washed by hand. I stuck the big fry pan in her dishwasher, and the results?

The special surface started to peel, then I discovered just how frightfully expensive her cookware was. Some kind of special coating, and some kind of a deal, if you bought the whole set, and if I wanted just a replacement frying pan? Over $100. Just because the dishwashing machine made that special no-stick surface start to peel up in one little corner. I was a noble boyfriend. I replaced the frying pan. Had to scour the internet to find it. Still, that’s not what this is about. It’s about an innocent mistake, on my part, lead to the demise of the no-stick surface.

Mars is like that, going to peel back Pisces Teflon. How bad? You’ve been warned.

astrofish.net Aries: “I want a new job!” That’s nice, I’m still waiting on that lottery win I was promised. Here’s the Aries news: you can have a new job, any time you are willing to go and look for it. As long as we’re facing this, “Mars is in Retrograde (in Virgo) thing,” as an Aries, I’d advise against quitting your day job. I’d suggest, though, this is a perfect time to back up and look at what you really want from career, employment, and self-satisfaction. It is a time to figure out what you want. My suggestion is a list. Make a list of skills and attributes that you know you have. There are lot that come to mind, quick thinking, honest, good in emergency situations, and so forth. Only, don’t stop with my “and so forth,” keep listing the skill sets. You can turn this Mars energy into a useful and productive enterprises, but first? Lets start with a list of your skills. Skill set, desires, ambitions. Goal, what do you excel at? What are the strengths? Weakness, or rather, areas you would rather avoid? Plus/Minus, positive/negative. This is about listing your assets, before we go any further with your weekly prognostication. Let’s get you looking at who you are, What would fit you best? Don’t complain, make a list.

Taurus: As an author, the most frequent question is, “Where do you get your ideas?” In my case, it should be abundantly obvious, as I live in South Texas, and just between fishing and TexMex, and maybe a cup of coffee, I get enough interaction with “strange people” to fulfill my obligations. I still get the question, though. One of my favorite Texas authors, a murder-mystery guy, he had two main characters in a series. Good guy, a hapless good officer, and the archetype for a bad guy, equally clueless and hapless, only malevolent. Mostly bad and mostly good. I asked that author about his birthday, and as it turned out, he shared his birthday with both his main characters, protagonist and antagonist. So, in my example of me, I draw on the events, places and people immediately around me. With that one author, he uses himself, the good and the bad, as his source of inspiration. This isn’t about where an author gets his — or her — inspiration. This is about how you use the “Mars is backwards in Virgo” stuff that will start. Instead of looking for grand designs, start looking within. This isn’t about big stuff, although, at least one Taurus will spin it that way. “You do know, the axiom, ‘Inside every small problem is a big problem struggling for release?’ Don’t you?” I’ve heard it. As a Taurus, though, this isn’t a week to subscribe to that theorem.

Gemini: It would be great, and I would find joy in my heart if you, the Gemini, woke up one morning, under this week’s influence, had a change in direction, and you smoothly motored off in a new Gemini direction. It would be wonderful. I couldn’t be happier for you. Therein is the wish, now, how are we going to make that happen? Mars starts exerting an energy, as it creates a tension angle for you. Choices. The problem being, a Gemini, when faced with a myriad of (Mars flavored) decisions? You’ll probably not choose wisely, be my best guess. Fun? Sure. Tasty? Sure. Result in you being testy? That too. So to get a course correction that works for you, for my fine Gemini friend, you take that first option? Go 180 degrees from where you are now? Then you split that to 90 degrees? And then, another split, so you’e at, what does this bring up, 270? Three quarters of the way around the circle. Simpler solution is to just alter your route by about 30 degrees, just veer a little to one side, but what self-respecting Gemini is going to do that?

Cancer: “It’s going to be like this for two whole freaking months?” Yes and no is my answer. “Can you equivocate any more?” Maybe. It’s not gong to be like this every day. The lesson that the stars impart has to do with precision. Precision in what you are asking for. Precision in your prayers, precision in your wishes, precision in that musty, teary-eyed view you have the future. Mars is backwards, or will be, in apparent retrograde motion, in Virgo. Means that precisions is more important than ever before. Have to be precise. Have to enunciate exactly. Can’t mumble. Can’t equivocate. Can’t sort of, I mean, well, you know what I mean, right? Exactly. That’s the wrong answer. Have to be exact. I doubt all two months will be miserable, but that’s dependent on your own precision. Not a matter of other people, not a matter of, I’ll let the fact checker sort this out, or I’ll let the editor correct my mistake, neither of those two events will occur. No fact checker before publication — other than your fine Cancer self. No editor, either. Means you have to be precise the first time. Get it right. Before you hit “send,” or “publish,” or tell me what to do to myself, check the work before you push the button. Keyword: precision.

Leo: Listen to my lectures, or read some my older material, now all online, and two Leo facts become apparent. One, I have a deep and abiding respect for the finest of the fixed Fire Signs, and two, I tend to expect my Leo friends to be loud. Look at what’s unfolding, think about this, the Sun is moving into Aquarius — that’s opposite you. Opposes you. Mars is heading into a retrograde pattern in Virgo. My standard “Leo” bit includes a Leo loudly proclaiming…. So here’s my suggestion, in as much as you are right, and there is a problem, and the usual way you would deal with this issue is to call up the press, let the media know that there is an issue here, and no one seems to be taking this issue seriously, except you, of course. Just hold it for a second. With the Sun opposing you, I’d like to suggest you just hold off on letting a press release fly. I wouldn’t tell everyone, not yet. This Mars situation, it’s going to develop and as Mars moves backwards, inching closer and closer to Leo, not getting here, but still, inching closer, you’re going to want to reassess the situation. The issue might have changed. Might change. No need fixing the problem two or three times. Wait, don’t fix it this week. Let’s see if there is better solution, next week. Keep it quiet, too.

Virgo: At the very beginning of the year, I had a quick warning directed to Virgo, letting you know about this unfortunate turn of events. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s not anything. “It is what it is.” I detest that expression. Pointless and rather uncommunicative. The nuance imparts some direction, and that is usually desultory. Mars impart great energy. A fair portion of the Virgo sky will be over-amped, revved up and otherwise ready to get up and go. This forward motion hits an obstacle as Mars turns in apparent retrograde motion. “All dressed up and nowhere to go?” That’s it. Notice, though, that it’s a question, not a statement. There’s that sense that Virgo still has more than enough energy to get the task done, it’s just the task keeps shifting. One friend (Virgo) suggested that it was well nigh on impossible to hit a moving target. Another friend (Virgo) suggested that moving targets are easy to hit, “You just lead them a little and figure for windage.” Pow. There are two answers. I’ve got third answer, too, not based on the hunting and shooting collection of aphorism. How about considering this a “beta” copy? Time to get a rough draft out the door and realize that, like all software development, it will take two, three, maybe five or six tries to quash all the problems. You’ll win, just takes more effort, but you have more energy. The trick is to not get invested in each step.

Libra: The tension from Mars, in his place, doing his thing, going backwards, or appearing to go backwards, as it were, is, will be in the next week, that leaves some free-floating anxiety in Libra. Therein is the problem. Therein is also the solution. When I’ve fond that there’s this ‘free-floating anxiety,” all I’ve done, I’m natural at this, I’ve given up about three things that need to be worried about. Latch onto any of my anxiety-anchors, and you’re safe. Instead of letting this feeling of dread, stress, fear and supposition overtake the Libra mind, find an anchor, a reality-based foundation, to pin those worries on. There, picked one of mine? Good, no? In the course of the next couple of months, whatever it was that you were so worried about now? Won’t be an issue, a little later. Why I try and provide this service, you know, something to weigh down your troubles so you can be worry-free.

Scorpio: I ran across a piece of urban lore, perhaps more apocryphal than factual, but it illustrates a point well enough. The Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy is an updated variation on a familiar scene. Guy, presumably this is in rural Texas, takes a few shots at the barn. Let’s say he empties the magazine. Good grouping, someplace on the side of the barn. Then he paints a bull’s eye around the bullet holes. That image, the bullet holes in the middle of the target? That image is supposed to scare away intruders and other miscreants. Don’t know if it would really work, but it’s a nice idea. Variations on a theme, there was a book, by a Scorpio author, matter of fact, that used a similar theme as the basis for the plot. Both examples are good. Both examples stand up well under Scorpio scrutiny while we’ve got one of your putative rulers starting a backwards fling. I’m not about to use a similar tactic on Scorpio — I’m smarter than that. However, some other less aware individual is gong to attempt a similar ruse this weekend, maybe next week, but I’d bet this weekend, and as a Scorpio, if you fall for the trick? Can’t say I didn’t try and warn you.

Sagittarius: “Look, as long as the trucks are running? I’m making money.” That’s not an exact quote, as I substituted the term “trucks” for a particular piece of machinery. Doubt the real machine would make any sense here, although, to one farmer, it would make perfect sense. Think about it like this, as long as your “something” is “doing something,” then you’re operating on the positive side of the Sagittarius cash-flow scenario. Might not be glamorous. Might be dirty and to some, disgusting work. Can’t have glamour and high-fashion, upper-crust work every day. Doesn’t work that way. This is matter of putting one foot in front of the next, and slugging forward, inch by inch, foot by foot. Millimeter by millimeter. Mars robs the glamor. Doesn’t rob us, it’s just we’re not at our prettiest at this moment. Week. Could stretch for a few months, but I doubt it. Still, look at the original comment, as long as it’s running, we’re making money.

Capricorn: “This is Texas where the weak are killed and eaten.” Old T-shirt. Won’t see it for sale any place near me, that’s for sure. Almost offensive, in some ways. Reminds me of the desert Southwest. South Texas, West Texas, Southern New Mexico, the Arizona Badlands, could be any of those places. It’s winter and the weather can be deceptively pleasant. Cool at night, warm in the day, and the hint of spring moisture, it’s almost spring here, the hint of moisture means that the nascent green growth is occurring around the edges.

Don’t get fooled. Six months from now, it will be hot and miserable. If it moves, it has a stinger or teeth, or both, and possible deadly venom. If it grows in the ground, it might be poisonous and has thorns. Needles, thorns, something. The desert has been my home most of my life. I treat it with respect. As Capricorn closes out, there’s a certain amount of respect that’s due. Treat this Mars going backwards, treat this with great respect. Admire the beauty, from afar. Tread cautiously. Something, some aspect of the next few days looks good. I’m not saying it isn’t good, but consider long-term. How will this wear?

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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