Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 8.9.2012

    “It is the very error of the moon;
    She comes more near earth than she was wont,
    And makes men mad.”
    Shakespeare’s Othello, the Moor of Venice [V.ii.133-5]

Ends with: Leo New Moon. Almost. Leo: Much has been written about the synodic period of Mercury. In retrograde. To be safe? I just allow a few days to let the dust settle. In this scenario, as in this week? I’d let the dust settle for the next 7 days. Let it be. Don’t rock the boat. Get ready. Prepare one or two projects. Work quietly, in the background. Not really a Leo strength, but as an idea, yes, it has merits. Work quietly, toll in anonymous obscurity for the next few days. Length of this horoscope. Just as the next one rolls over, the Moon is thin crescent in the morning, and from there? All good, all the time. Good stuff, then. Between now and then? Looks like one project, a typical Mercury Retrograde project, looks like you can still clean that up.

astrofish.netVirgo: I get used to a routine. I get used to doing certain things a certain way. I got used, as an example, fishing at sunrise. Goes back to the good, old days when I would leave at “Oh-dark-thirty” for fishing various lakes and some bays, too. Early morning just seemed right. Got used to it as a routine.

Shake up the routine. Change it up. Do something different. I was specifically thinking of a fishing example, I’m used to bay fishing at dawn. Looking at the phase of the moon? That suggests the best time is to fish is dusk. Late afternoon to early summer evening. It’s about doing something familiar at a different time. And for fishing? Specifically, the best Virgo window is four to seven, even as late as eight, but most evenings. Not mornings. Evenings. Weird, I know, but it works. Change the plan, maybe not the action, just the plan. Or, as another example, if you’re used to fishing in the evening, after work, as one buddy is? Consider going in the morning. However, the evening slot is best for getting that stuff wrapped up.

astrofish.netLibra: There’s a certain Vegan restaurant I’ve grown quite fond of. Food is amazing. Unlike any place I’ve ever tried, I love the way the spices and flavors combine, and I don’t care if there isn’t a hunk of ham floating in the greens. Usually helps. That one place is a personal favorite, and it gets a high recommendation from me. Vegan, even. Just weird. More Austin than Austin. Next door, inside a chain link fence, there’s the unluckiest dog in the world. Think about it. No scraps. No morsels of dead animals to munch on. No one passing with a spare hamburger to feed that dog. Got to be the unluckiest dog in the world, living next door to a vegan restaurant.

How bad is that? I was looking for some way to explain how this works, Mars, Saturn, Libra, problems and a simple analogy. Unluckiest dog in the world, huh, right, next door to a Vegan place. Might also be the healthiest dog, too, as that food is a high protein, high fiber, low (bad stuff). Put the Mars to work for you, not against you.

Scorpio: Geographically, Texas is considered at least five different zones. Demographically, the last history map I was looking at, it included part of “East Texas” as “The South,” while West Texas was left to languish bereft of attachment or definition. For me, the line is easier to understand as I lived and worked on either side for many years. The line is Interstate 35. In Hillsboro (famous because Willie got busted there, thrown out on a technicality), the road splits, west to Ft. Worth (starts the West) and east to Dallas, (still in East Texas, the South, etc.)

It’s a very clear line. Red dirt to the west, black dirt to the east, cattle to the west, cotton farms to the east. Arbitrary but also, a pretty clear line of demarcation. I’m no linguist so I can’t give technical details of the language difference, but there’s a definite shift in accents, on either side of the line, East versus West, or, more like South versus the West.

In this example, there’s a really clear indication of where the line is. In Scorpio? There is no line. Not this week. Love to make a definite distinction about “this” or “that,” and the difference and where the line is drawn. Details are fuzzy now. There will be NO definite answer this week. Don’t push it. Let Mercury toils and troubles resolve themselves.

Sagittarius: “Mercury is no longer retrograde, so things are good again, right?” Right. No, wait, wrong, very wrong. Wait, Mercury is no longer retrograde in Leo. True. However, there’s still a problem with Mercury-inspired issues. I have a fishing pole, fishing reel on a fishing pole, to be more precise, and that has some old mono line spooled up. I need to replace that line. Only, I got an invite, chance for hot summer, deep South Texas bass fishing fun, and I forgot. I forgot Mercury was no longer retrograde, I forgot how old that fishing line was, and I forgot to read my own, damn horoscope. First cast, that morning? Gnarled mess, snarled mess of old, crackly fishing line. The obvious warning here? I should have changed that line before I went fishing. Or I should’ve grabbed different gear. I didn’t. Mercury-Retrograde inspired issue. If we were other signs, then this wouldn’t be such a big deal, but my bet is, during this next couple of days? Something we forgot will be back to haunt us — “Dammit, I meant to do that last week.” You know the drill.

Capricorn: Sing along, if you like, I’ll just play the part of the bouncing ball, “With a little help from my friends…” All you need is a little help from your friends.

Capricorn, as a whole, and you, in particular, it’s just a matter of asking for a little assistance. I was downtown, one morning, guy with a hand-truck full of grocery items, fresh produce piled on top, he stopped, briefly stymied, “Hey, can you get the door for me?” I was already going to do that, but it was nice that he asked. Simple gesture of kindness.

Don’t be afraid to ask for a little assistance in the next couple of days. This is about casual relationships. This is about voicing a concern. This is about asking for a little help. How does that one expression go? “Friends help you move; real friends help you move bodies.” That’s the one. Think it’s in the quote book, too. I’m not looking for you to ask for a real friend to help get rid of a (metaphorical) body, not what this is about. It’s about just asking someone to hold the door, or give you a short lift. No big deal, just ask. Worst they can say is, “No.”

Aquarius: “I’m sorry, I just can’t serve a naked enchilada.” Really small, local restaurant. Owner is from a long line of successful cooks and restauranteurs. Because he cares about the presentation, because he cares enough to make sure no food goes out of the kitchen undressed, that shows a level of individual concern that means, to me, quality.

Aquarius is about quality, in a similar way. Aquarius is going to run into a problem with undressed enchiladas, or something similar. Someone is going to pitch a fit. Someone wanted those enchiladas naked. One patron is adverse to your — Aquarius — way of doing things. Perceptions are important, and there is an equitable middle ground in here. The biggest issue is what are you willing to concede?

As the tension from the Sun (in Leo) and Mercury (not retrograde but still in Leo), as this mounts? What are you willing to surrender? What, where, are you willing to give a little?

Pisces: “The computer crashed.” What did we use for an excuse before there was the inter-webs and nets and computers? Pencil and paper, never failed, although, I’m pretty sure there are several generations who have no clue where “Carbon Copy” originated. Do you know? Not really a trivia question — more a language game than anything else. “CC me on the answer to that,” I’d say. One doctor I used to go to, his office this was well into the double-aughts, (200x), his office used a pencil and a long sheet of ledger paper to schedule appointments. I never did understand. It was, as systems go, effective.

One person (Gemini, if you must know) handled that appointment ledger. In the middle of any given week, she’d be talking on the phone erasing names, adding names, subtracting stuff. Not sure what all she did. Power never went out on the pencil and paper. Paper never crashes, or executes a bad command. Did get worn thin in places from constant changing, usually the last appointments of each day. If it can go wrong, it probably did. Gently start extracting your sweet Pisces self from this mess. Think about about paper and pencil too, as an alternative. Never crashes or loses power.

Aries: Louisiana has a “Shrimp and Petroleum Festival” — I linked to it last year. It’s coming up in another few weeks. Something to look forward to. One of the oldest harvest festivals on the circuit. That’s just weird, if you ask me. Petroleum, that’s part of the commerce that drives the area. There was, at one time, a great deal of shallow, easily accessible petroleum products, oil and gas, in Lower Arkansas (LA). Not so much, anymore, but the tools and the methods used for extractions is still part of the land.

Shrimp? Culinary, Gulf Coast special. By this time, most of the shrimp are large, brown critters, not as much good eating as excellent bait. Guess that’s another tale for a separate venue. While, at first blush, the name doesn’t sound the least bit appealing, if you know Louisiana, and yes, I do know thing or two about that state, the food is good. Really good. Any excuse for a party. Think about it. Might not be as bad as I thought. Still, not the most appealing name, but therein is the crazy wisdom. Maybe a little thinking like that will help Aries, too.

Taurus: It’s summer and it’s hot in Texas. Or, it’s hot in parts of Texas. Some places are warmer than others. As such, this is suspect advice, but try it. As a Taurus, between the the phase of Mercury, the Sun, the Moon, and just the general timbre of the times, then, pesky Jupiter in Gemini? Get outside. Unseat yourself from the computer, the TV, the desk, the desktop, whatever it is that is holding you captive. I’d suggest for a week or more, but just a few days, a few hours, even a few moments? Get out. One of my oldest suggestions is to go outside to get an accurate weather predictions. I’ve studies the local weather guys for years, and my conclusion? As much as I like the local weather guys, they have no clue. They are less accurate than I am, and I’m the astrologer dealing with the ebb and flow of the stars. Planets, really, but never mind that distinction now. Unseat yourself and get out. Outside. Sometimes, the easiest way to tell what the weather is is to get out. If you’re that one Taurus who’s in a chair right now? Get someone to wheel you outside. Even the hint of fresh air and looking at the local out-of-doors will help. Get up. Get out. Fresh perspective. Doesn’t have to be a long hike, but get out.

Gemini: There’s a special kind of hell, reserved for people who take advantage of Gemini when Mercury is Retrograde. Mercury is hardly retrograde, now. But it was, and it was in situation where it could sow as much confusion and discord as possible.

The first step in dealing with this aftermath is isolating the problem. The source of ire in Gemini land is that no one is on the same page. “Mercury, out of retrograde, let’s move it!”

Only, no one is moving. Most common ailment I’ve heard is computer issues, and electrical devices, but let’s start with computer problems. The first trouble-shooting question, “What were you doing before it stopped working?” Having a coke. It sort of spilled. Kind of.

My answer? “Stop.” Unplug that keyboard. Find another. Good to go. Now, you can make this increasingly difficult, but occasionally, like, right now, this week? Look for the easier solution to the problem. Unplug the keyboard.

Cancer: Venus makes nice in your sign, but that’s about it. A solid standard, in many regions of the country, certainly in my native Texas, “fried” is a food group unto itself. Usually, this isn’t limited, but typically, there will be batter, maybe rolled in egg then rolled in flour, recipes vary, but there will be something deep-fried. Appetizer, on the salad, main entree, dessert. Any. All. This is what is known as “comfort food,” or my favorite, “home-style.” Except, we never has a deep fat fryer at our house. Come to think of it, I know no one who does.

This isn’t about what gets fried, or even if frying is the best option, it’s about seeking solace in a know quantity. Finding a small degree of peace (comfort) where it can be found. Different stuff works for different people. Find what works. Deep-fried bacon, just exactly how can that be wrong? No, seriously, I know a guy, and he knows this place east of here, rural and all, but still, they deep fry bacon.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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