Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.27.2012

    “When icicles hang
    by the wall,
    And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
    And Tom bears logs in the hall,
    And milk comes frozen home in pail…”
    Shakespeare’s Love’s Labor’s Lost [V.ii.913]

The new software is in place, e-mail me directly if you can’t log in, and I’ll shoot you a new password. Your user name should be the same.

Already a member? New login — click here.


2013: Year in preview

Mercury, always easiest to start with?
Feb 23 – Mar 17, Pisces
Jun 26 – Jul 20, Cancer
Oct 21 – Nov. 10, Scorpio

Water signs. Makes for an emotional year, with plenty of time spent wandering back over the ways we’ve been before. Ask any old-timer, “It was better back then!”

I asked the doorman at famous music spot in Austin, I’ve written about this before, but I asked the guy working the door, about the good, old days.

    “Man,” he took an appraising and positive gander at me, “those days weren’t near as good as people recall.”

The message, if it isn’t clear, there’s only so much time that can be spent languishing in the past and reveling in the good, old days. As I’ve pointed out so often, the purpose of these mercurial periods are about reflection of, not gerrymandering in, the past.

Venus Retrograde

    Dec 21, 2013 – Jan 31, 2014, Capricorn

For the signs, for this week? For the year?

Capricorn Capricorn: I was settling in with a long call. It was, I’m sure, one of my half-hour readings, but I must allow for at least 45 minutes for one of those. I am long-winded. I tend to pace. I tend to pace, wave my arms, and get all excited about a reading. Most of all, unless I’m sitting down, I tend to pace. Winter time, south Texas, I was wearing jeans, tube socks and boots. As I settled in for the reading, I realized that my boots would make noise against the concrete floor of the office space (warehouse) I use as an office. It would sound bad. What I did, simple enough, I pulled my boots off. (Boots) Skin like leather, tough yet supple uppers, light polish still there from the last airport trip, boots are sitting upright, by the desk. I took them off — it’s that simple. I don’t make a noise as I pad around in my mis-colored, mismatched tube socks. No one sees them on the web-cam, and more important, the client doesn’t hear them on the call. Such a simple solution to a problem. This year, make it easier on yourself, like me, just take your shoes off. Or, you can buy expensive microphones and special, foley-canceling software filters. It’s always possible to complicate this. Still, when the time is right, this year, especially, like this next week? New Year and all? Opt for the simplest solution.

Aquarius: It’s been many long years since I first learned about “children by proxy.” One girl I dated provided me with a family by proxy, and now? I’m a grandfather by proxy. There is a lesson to learn from the eating habits of one child. Kid is about two, or three years old, I don’t know, I’m not related. Just a stand-in for a grandfather. I was hoping to introduce the kid to the joys and pleasures of cinnamon rolls.

Left one, in lieu of breakfast, on her plate. I checked back, moments later. Little Aquarius type. She was licking the cream frosting off the cinnamon roll. Left the rich, sourdough breading wrapped around sugar and cinnamon alone. Just licked the icing. That’s all she liked; that’s all she was going to eat. She chewed on a piece of the breading, didn’t like it too well, spit it out. She treated that icing as if it were the best thing since ice cream (another story for a different horoscope).

The lesson, the message for this next year, this week, think about that two-year old Aquarius, just licking the icing. This next year, you know what you like. Stick to the parts you like. The stuff you really enjoy. Same kid? She’ll eat the icing from the Oreo and give the rest back to her parents. How cool is that?

PiscesPisces: It’s no secret, as if I could keep a secret from a Pisces, but it’s no secret that I’m a big fan of home remedies. Some of the home remedies are based in real-world cures, just a different take on a new idea. Others, I’m unsure of. Perfect example, as cure for either arthritis, gout, or some other ailment, I wasn’t paying attention, but the cure involved “Golden Raisins.” “Yes, soak nine golden raisins in a shot of gin,” it was explained to me, “wait until all the gin is soaked up, then eat the raisins.” Apparently, this is a nightly ritual. The nine raisins and shot of gin. I’d figure most of my friends would opt for the shortcut, grab a handful of raisins and do a shot, maybe two, “Yeah, I ate about thirty raisins, so, three shots?” See how my friends react to advice? This isn’t really about a specific home remedy, or the idea that some of my friends could use a little more professional help than what me, as an astrologer, can provide. As this year gets underway, I’d watch out for the home remedies that do more harm than good. Could be on several levels, too, that kind of advice. Where the cure is worse than the ailment? That’s the problem. As a Gentle Pisces, stop and thinking about that, the cure being worse than the disease.



Aries: “That’s a fact. I know it’s fact. I read an article on the web about it.” As this year unfurls like sails on a majestic three-masted schooner, as the wind starts to fill out the canvas and pull Aries forward, at an alarmingly faster and faster rate, consider that first comment, “I read it on a web page.” I’ve built web pages, don’t do it for hire very often, but it’s part of my skills. Quickest web page I ever put up, from idea to page itself? Maybe 20 minutes. Quick and plain, but most of all, concept to idea to inception to finished product, in less than an hour. That’s Aries fast. That’s also why I don’t trust that comment, “I read it on a web page so it must be fact.”

I write for the web. I play fast and loose with facts. Fast. Loose. While it’s occasionally grounded in reality, often times, not so much grounded as I started with an idea and let it fly.

Fact check this year. Fact check and perform a “due diligence” background check. One idea, unsupported by anything more than a whim and hint of verisimilitude? Not going to get you far. I want Aries to go far, this year. That Uranus Influence can be quite wonderful, but in order to make best use of it? Fact-check. Get more than one source for data. Corroborate. Three choices. Three sources, minimum.

Taurus: One of my fishing buddies was explaining why he wasn’t around this coming week. “Marker Seven Marriage.” I can’t leave Taurus hanging, and he couldn’t leave me hanging. It was a niece, a nephew, some familial connection like that, and the story gets better, all of his family gets married, Texas Gulf Coast, long line of liars and fishermen, at Mile Marker Seven.

“Marriage, Marker Seven.” I had an image, immediately of a couple of fishing boats, maybe a Minster on a Water-Ski, all tied up around an Inter-Coastal Mile Marker, “I do, he does, let’s fish!” Turns out it was the beach, but I was close, just a few hundred yards away. To start this year, there’s an upset in your Taurus time-table. Like, you’re buddy is officiating a wedding at Mile Marker Seven. Navigation Buoy “7.” Something like that. Temporary upset. Best way to deal with it? Since we’re all still here? Be amused.

Gemini: I think I’ve found the perfect design for Gemini. Client had this necklace on, it was nice semi-precious, metaphysically correct stone, cut and set as a nice pendant. Long chain. She then started to tell me about the companion piece, “Everyone thinks the necklace is on backwards,” as she twisted around, and there was a similar stone, different shade, nearly identical setting, hung as a pendant in the back. Think about how much more balanced that would appear to be.

Think about, on grander scale, instead of someone coming up behind you and saying, “Here, your necklace is backwards,” consider the balance point. This next year, starting this week, it’s about balance. My friend with the front and back necklace? She’s found a way to remind herself of the duality, as well as the point about moving forward, all the time. As a Gemini, maybe a necklace like that is in order. Or, perhaps, you can remember that this next goal is balance. Keep moving forward. “But I’m always moving forward!” Not as long as you’re stopped, talking to me.

Cancer: There is a bend in an estuary, where the water meets the sky, a place that was once productive — a spot I like to fish. While the exact coordinates are not available, judging from numerous images on the website, an approximation can be made. This is, was, a fertile spot for fishing. Not so much now, but at the time, it was a great place to fish. As this year starts to unfold, do not hesitate to go back to places we’ve been before. That’s part of the message for the coming year, and especially, for this next week. However, as a thematic element to visit and revisit over the next 12 months? Consider that you want to go back to places that you’ve been before. Whether it is an old fishing spot that wasn’t that good, not anymore, not since everyone discovered it, or if there’s another kind of place you’d like to go back to. Perhaps revisit an old flame? For me, in this example, where the water meets the sky? That place is like a former lover, and yet, still new.

Leo: Existential angst is a luxury that you, as the mighty Leo, you have no time for this. In the next year, starting with a flavor this week, but in the next year, there’s going to be the siren’s call of “Leo Existential Angst.” That should probably be trademarked, “Leo Existential Angst.” It’s mightier and better, more “existential” than regular angst, and more, well, more dramatic. “Oh woe, oh woe,” and so on. No time for this.

Feeling sorry for yourself is luxury that you can ill-afford at this moment.

World didn’t end. Mars is creeping opposite from you. No one feels sorry for the mighty Leo. The only reason I feel sorry for the mighty Leo is because no one else does. Get over it. The holidays are all but behind us now. Time to move forward with resolution, expectation and no room for remorse.

Virgo: I’ve traveled so much, mostly back and forth across Texas, but world-wide, too, so I can’t give an exact location to my observation. It was an older man, vaguely a gentleman, with a heavy gold chain that speaks to an era, and that chain was punctuated by reading glasses. Which speaks to a similar era. I can’t complain, or poke fun at him, as I wear reading glasses. Probably due to too much time in front of a computer’s screen. The odd and slightly alarming point, was this “gentleman” was attempting to flirt, with heavy sexual overtones, with a woman much younger than him. The reading glasses ruined the image. Just didn’t work. Clearly, this was a situation that man in question wasn’t seeing clearly. As an outside observer, as the person looking in, I could detect — body language alone — that the guy was getting nowhere fast. As a Virgo, there’s a message, and it’s not about glasses, or might be. What are you not seeing clearly? What’s the missing element?

Libra: I live in land where cultures cross boundaries. The Rio Bravo/Rio Grande is the point of contention and demarcation, the thin, brown and watery line between Old Mexico and Texas. As far as that goes, I consider the Rio Grande, even after it arcs around the Franklin Mountains and turns north towards Santa Fe, I still consider everything east of that river to be Texas, spiritually. The biggest problem, until there was internationally agreed upon line, the border would tend to shift.

The thin, brown stream, I’m used to it in El Paso, and there? It’s more like concrete drainage ditch that gets treated like a military barrier instead of border amongst friends. I’m not touching the political issues, but good fences, don’t always make good neighbors, like Robert Frost suggested. He was from New England. This is the American Southwest. Different culture. Different boundaries. Different lines, sometimes political lines, just etched in the sand. This next week, and the theme for the coming year is about the lines that Libra uses to define that which is Libra. What is, what isn’t and what lines are there? Are they solid, thick, black barriers or more like that thin, watery line in the sandy bars of the Rio Grande?



Scorpio: I got in a discussion with a phone representative from the State of Texas. Taxes. State Sales tax. I pay it. Anytime I collect it, and I let the computer and sales software figure that out, but any time I collect sales tax, I pay it. Easier, quicker, and while I have a small problem with the paperwork, over all, I’m good with the taxes thing. End of the year. Thinking about this stuff. End of the year. Looking at taxes. End of the year, is this the year I get the State Comptroller to understand I no longer have a physical location? I have a couple of Austin phone numbers, a San Antonio PO Box, and that’s about it. I’m mobile, and for some reason, I keep wondering if there will be a CSI franchise with that song, “I’m going mobile….” Anyway, this isn’t about TV, or really, taxes. However, like me, you’ve got a single problem, a single issue, simple problem, quite possibly just a paperwork thing, and it needs the Scorpio attention. Now. This is going to echo back three more times in the next year, and even before we get to January 1? Why not just hit “print,” and start dealing with the problem? A little attention now, even if it is a short-handed, short-sighted state employee who really doesn’t grasp the issue, or see that you have a good solution, no, that’s not the problem. Might be, or something like it. Start now. This can stretch out into the new year — and beyond. But it doesn’t have to. Happy New Year!

Sagittarius: I opened up a notebook. Paper notebook in which I put down ideas, mostly scratched out hieroglyphics, my version of shorthand. The ideas, as I was flipping through the pages, looking for a coherent metaphor to hang around Sagittarius, for this week, this upcoming month and on into the new year? “Good idea, won’t work. Good idea, won’t ever work. Great one liner, won’t work. That one is funny, but will surely offend a few people; better not.” I started editing the notes. Not always a good idea as some of those are gems, diamonds in the rough, ideas that need to be tickled, cajoled, tempered and nurtured to fruition. Not going to happen overnight, and some of those ideas? Won’t ever see the light of day. What’s worse, sometimes I’ll happen across something scribbled in my horrible handwriting, and I won’t be able to read it. Meant something terribly important at the time. No idea what it means now.

Pull that page out of the notebook and throw it away. Recycle bin for that one. I wonder if this goes back to spending so long in college and at the university, my penchant for still taking notes. I’d have to add to that, my inability to read some of the notes, unable to decipher the meaning, intent or even get a clue from what I left behind. The undecipherable, illegible notes? Toss. We’re getting ready for a new year. Nostalgia, it doesn’t have place in the Sagittarius life, not now, and not since we are moving forward. We are moving forward, aren’t we? I think we are.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

Use of this site (you are here) is covered by all the terms as defined in the fineprint, and there might be, maybe, a material connection between the hot links and this site (sometimes).

© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for &c.

  • jose quinones Jan 1, 2013 @ 1:27

    Is the Venus Retrograde like a dirty rap song might entail? She gonna back that ‘ass’ up? for kicks and giggles….

  • wendy michel Jan 5, 2013 @ 21:28

    gonna wear my cool spiderman-walgreens-mirrored-sunglasses more…especially around creeper dudes & when playing chess :)

  • wendy michel Jan 7, 2013 @ 16:59

    ‘Wrangle’ is the key word!

    • Kramer Wetzel Jan 7, 2013 @ 17:09

      Methinks the lady doth protest too much (?)

      So does that give literary street cred now?

  • wendy michel Jan 7, 2013 @ 23:06

    Oh no…sorry…way too excited…I got nothing…petrified of not citing correctly…absolutely terrified…wish you offered a class in Shakespeare too…

    • Kramer Wetzel Jan 8, 2013 @ 7:23

      but you never answered, do I have literary street cred now?

      And there is nothing to be scared of here.

  • wendy michel Jan 8, 2013 @ 12:50

    Bangarang Peter! :)