Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars 1.31.2013

    “The time of life is short;
    To spend that shortness basely.”
    Shakespeare’s The First Part of King Henry the Fourth [V.ii.87-90]

aquariusAquarius: I was working on some tax stuff, and the question about online security came up. I’ll admit, there was a point in my life when I could fit my whole life, the digital imprint that defines me, I could fit it all on a laptop. Carried that with me, everywhere.

These days, I’m much more circumspect. First, I’ve got too many files to cart around with me, wherever I go, and then, too, there’s the security issue. My phone doesn’t have a banking app on it. My tablet, no way to access my bank from there, either. In the easiest possible terms, this is about security. Some days, nothing beats the simplest methods. I got off thinking about this because one buddy was setting up a small net-book laptop to do only one thing: online banking. He figured, rightfully so, that he could just keep the computer with him, at all times. The best security. Seems a bit daunting, as in, I could see this happening, after that third cup of coffee in a coffee shop, getting up to use the restroom for just a minute and coming back to find the laptop gone. Maybe now, maybe this week, anyway, isn’t a good time to put all your digital files in just one place. Other stuff, too.

(Attributed to Mark Twain — Sagittarius — “Put all your eggs in one basket then guard that basket.” Might be in the quote collection.)

Pisces: “Of all the gin joints, in all the town, in all the world, she has to walk into mine.” (Casablanca, Warner Bros, circa 1942, citation is a little weak). We all know the line. Humphrey Bogart, Rick, and the rest, oh, just look it up on the web.

There’s a poignant piece of history wrapped into that movie, that comment, and it was, still is, an exciting piece of film. Moving movie, if you will. I toted a reproduction poster for that film, early advertising art, for years. I might even still have it, buried in a closet. It has meaning, and the emotions are deep. It’s about not going back over previous mistakes. Don’t look back, not now. Mars: Keep Moving Forward.

“We’ll always have Paris.”

(Yeah, right.)

Aries Aries: I’ve had prophetic dreams. I’ve also had wild hare dreams, which have nothing to do with reality — what-so-ever. Nothing. Not even the thinnest shard of connection, other than players and locations look real — but they are not. As I’m watching the planets wobble along their respective axises, and especially paying attention to Mars as he lines up with Mercury and Neptune, I’m wondering about you. Less wonder and more observation, based on personal experience. The weird dreams, the flashes of apparent insight?

Those could very well be prophetic dreams and real flashes of insight into the inner-workings of a particular problem, maybe an issue that’s been gnawing at you for a few days or even since the first of the year. Or, worse yet, perhaps this is a dream-like fantasy that offers the Aries the easiest way out with the least amount of effort and no collateral damage.

The goal is to understand that the prophetic dreams and visions experienced now? Might be largely metaphorical, not so much real answers as answers within riddles.

Taurus Taurus: I have a long love affair with the Texas Gulf Coast, mostly in the Devil’s Elbow. The Texas Coastal Bend, and right in the middle of that elbow? Corpus Christi, TX. The coastal bend is generally a collection of outcasts, misfits and other societal rejects. I fit in just fine. There’s a suggestion that we who don’t fit in the mainstream, we keep getting washed downstream until we come to rest on the beach. At that point, we have a choice to grow gills, or learn how to survive at the edge of the world. Taurus is an earth sign, a fixed, earth sign. Means you’re probably not growing gills any time too soon. The goal for this next week, look where the moon is, the goal is to learn to be at home with the miscreants, the misfits and the ne’er-do-wells that inhabit our Taurus world. We’ve been washed down thus far by the winds of the Fates, let’s not lose sight that this is where we want to be. Adapt to the changes. Either that, learn to adapt, or you’re going to need to grow gills, and that’s a bigger challenge for a Taurus.

Gemini: Clint Eastwood, a Gemini, is a perfect example of what this is about. As an actor, he is well-known for his roles as a he-man, strong, dark, silent types. He’s a man’s man. Rough, rugged, in his earliest career he was criticized for short, hissing delivery through clenched teeth. That delivery became his trademark as an actor. Here’s the good, Gemini stuff, he’s a vegetarian. Apparently, after repeated exposure to being a manly man, he decided to eat better. I’m sure this is all available in detail on the web — someplace. Vegetarian. The cirgarillo, clenched teeth, the 45 PeaceMaker? Guns, more guns, rogue cop and justice served cold — and dead? Consider this is a perfect way to see a Gemini, and this is a good way to approach the incoming energies, be willing to adapt to changes, as need be. This information, along with Gemini, it just goes to show that more information is sometimes good. Or does that ruin the image?

Cancer: From my earliest childhood, I’ve lived near railroad tracks. I can recall, as a child hearing the whistle blow as the 11 PM (north-bound) freight would pass by. In Austin, the trailer park was a few hundred meters from a main rail-line. While I was at the university in Arizona, the student housing backed up to a rail-line. As a child, we’d put pennies on the steel rails and watch them get squashed under the massive weight. Now, as an adult, I give the rails a wide berth. I stand and watch as the trains go rumbling by. There are two obstacles, influences, actions, planetary movements to pay attention to. One of them is the rail-line itself. The other influence is moving, like a train passing. It’s loud, that train, it’s annoying because it causes a delay in the Cancer forward progress, and it can’t be argued with. You’ll lose. Trust me. I’ve seen what it does to pennies, imagine what it would do to a Cancer? Don’t argue with it, expect a minor delay and stay out of the way.

5leo The (mighty) Leo: all it takes is a little help from your friends. I realize it’s almost a cliche metaphor, and I’m not about to burst into antiquated yet viable musical references, no that’s not it. But the simple solution to the everyday Leo problems, right now, is a little help from your friends. It could be as simple as me, holding a door open while a woman struggles with too many packages, going into the package delivery place. That simple. Just needed someone to hold the door open. It can be more developed, too, like having to ask an expert for a little bit of advice. Doesn’t have to be much and it doesn’t mean calling in the paid experts like me, but there’s hint, ask for a little help. Ask for a little help from your friends this week.

Virgo: One of my guiding principles is to never go back. No backtracking. If I leave the house, then I leave with what’s on me, and I don’t go back inside because I forgot a camera, a phone, a computer, a shirt, shoes, something or other. There will always be exceptions, like, walking out without keys to lock the place, sure, I have to to go back for that. Still, I make an effort to not look back and not go back. More than one afternoon trip has been best served by this because I’ll forget the phone. The problem being, then I’ll forget the camera, too. One or the other is quite useful for recording notes from the afternoon’s excursion. To help with this, I have a small mental check list, and I pat myself down before I leave, making sure there’s at least a shirt of over my shoulder, if it’s not too cold, and to make sure I have keys and the various electrical leashes I tend to carry.

As much as I relish working and walking without the electronic leash, in these next few days? As the Virgo, you’ll want to make sure you have everything you might need when you leave, and then, once you make a move? Don’t go back, no matter how tempting it might appear.

Libra: I’ve fished up and down the Texas Gulf Coast. Mostly “North Padre” (island), and the bays. In various locations, there are cleaning stations for the messy and wonderful task of cleaning fish. At one cleaning station, think it was operated by the Parks and Wildlife department, there was a big sign:

    FISH ONLY
    NO GAME
    NO DEER, NO HOGS
    FISH ONLY!!!

Can’t even make this stuff up. Think I got a picture, but I’m not sure how clear it was. Long afternoon fishing, couple of big fish up on the cleaning stand. I might’ve been a little unsteady on my feet. Still, as a warning sign, I couldn’t help but smirk. There’s a similar, redundant message. Gets echoed over to Libra this week. You’re feeling good, like me, a little unsteady, but still, the whir of the electric filet knife is a good noise. Still, the image of someone trying to clean a feral hog in one of those places? Yuck.

Pay attention to the signs. Park rangers are notorious about being nice if you follow the rules.

Scorpio: With a preponderance of Aquarius energy, loose in the world, there’s a strong Scorpio sentiment that the “status quo” must be changed. Now. Not next week, not next month, now, and in a hurry. Historically, Scorpio’s in a hurry make typical Scorpio mistakes. Haste makes waste, and no Scorpio likes to deal with that.

It’s pressure, a planet pressure, planetary pressures, like lots of friction and not enough lubricant. Here’s a hint: the status quo is like that because it works. Time-tested and then? Time-proven. As much as there’s a desire to rail against the established order? Not this week. Won’t work. I agree, a change would be good, but this isn’t the time to be that agent of change, not this week, anyway.

astrofish.net/travelSagittarius: There’s always that feeling that somehow, something is creeping up behind us. There’s a “back of the neck” tingly feeling, sort of a suggestion that there’s something back there. Behind us, lurking in the dark recesses of — as it turns out — this is a mind. Not exactly playing tricks , but it’s like that.

This sense, the sixth sense, the notorious Sagittarius unreliable sixth sense, it’s more planet influence. What it suggests is is we double-check our work, look over submissions, think twice about actions.

Worried?

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that they aren’t out to get you.

Capricorn: Many years ago, a certain Taurus taught me about shopping for clothing. Feel the actual cloth of the item, especially, like, shirts. So I’ve adopted, over the years, a pattern and patter that I use when shopping for clothing. I’ll grab an article of clothing off the rack, then I’ll rub the material between my fingers. Checking tensile strength or maybe, I really am checking to see just how “soft” a particular material might be.

I’m a guy, I grab an “L” and don’t bother with niceties like worrying about the texture of the fabric. The exception is when I’m trying to impress someone, like, shopping with a female companion. I’m willing to modify my behavior for inherent and obvious rewards.

With gradual, inner-planets shifting, there’s a small gesture you can make and it will make your life better. Could be something as simple as pretending to feel the material before you buy a shirt.

“Here, this one feels softer, same size.”

Works well, trust me.

Simple, Capricorn trick.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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  • Kramer Wetzel Jan 31, 2013 @ 15:47

    Sagittarius fact checking dept.: close, cf., Twain’s Pudn’head Wilson….