Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 3.21.2013

    “[You are] a feather for each wind that blows.”
    Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale [II.iii.153]

AriesAries: I’ve long maintained, anyone willing to listen, that San Antonio is way weirder than Austin — but no cares.

“Keep Austin Weird” is now the current equivalent of a chamber of commerce slogan. Oddly enough, the majority of the people who read this site are from outside of Austin, so the “Keep Austin Weird” vibe might not be present. Except, as an Aries, with the Aries energy present, Mars, Sun/Uranus are getting together to make things seem “weird.”

Your definition of “weird” might vary from mine. There’s a ten-day overlay, more than the usual week to this scope. Ten days, more or less. Weird. Whatever you define as weird, as I’m sure, our definitions are different.

Clue? Embrace the weird, doesn’t matter where you are.

Taurus: There’s one author and cohort, claims El Paso (TX) is the most haunted city in North America. Why there haven’t been more ghost shows about San Antonio, which probably is the most haunted town — anywhere — I don’t know. Personally, I don’t generally feel invisible hands clawing at my back when I’m on the hallowed Alamo grounds. However, that doesn’t stop superstition, myth and modern fiction from colliding and colluding to generate more fiction than fact. This is about ghosts, real, or perceived.

With the Aries energy kicking long, hard and loud, and with them being all weirded out by Mars, Venus, Uranus, all of that stacked up on each other, there’s a feeling like there’s someone — something — looking over your Taurus shoulder. A spooky sensation. Troublesome to some people. Me? I’d write it off as a ghost. I’d suggest it was nothing more than a Halloween-type costume, out-of-season. Scared? Scary? Depends. I live in haunted cities, and I work in haunted cities, and I live within a range of the epic battles for freedom, with many ghosts still loose on the streets. Something happens? Blame the other dimensions. Doubt it’s any big deal, really. If you can’t touch it, then it can’t hurt you. Doesn’t mean you didn’t feel that, just means it can’t get you.

Gemini: You’re tongue-tied. “All week? I can’t put up with that all week! No way! I’m a Gemini. I must be able to communicate!” You will be able to communicate, and now, this isn’t about Mercury in Retrograde, but it is a “mercurial” issue. Pisces is a mutable water sign, and that’s where Mercury is. This creates a tension angle to lovely Gemini self, and the result is you’re tongue-tied. You splutter, fret, fritter, but the words don’t come out in an organized fashion. There might be a torrent of words, a virtual cascade of information, but alas, it gets jumbled up.

Here’s the idea, take a recorder everywhere you go. Maybe you’ve got a phone or a keyring that can record. I had this one “spy cam,” coolest gadget, looked like a thick pen, but was really a secret recording device. I used it once, and then, getting the data into a useful format was too much effort. But it was a nice idea. Something like that. You have the data, it’s just all locked up inside and can’t find its way out. Yet.

Cancer: I was digging through fishing tackle, looking for a certain lure. I opened up one box of gear, set it aside, and then, opening another box, I knocked over the first box. The biggest problem was tiny lead weights and tiny glass beads. Used for a certain kind of rigging, tiny hooks, tiny weights, beads, and a few swivels all scattered across the kitchen floor.

It happens. I was momentarily upset then I stopped myself. Perfect chance to clean out that one gear bag. The problem is irritation, and it was an irritating mistake, but I did it. No one else did. The little part of fishing tackle that I could easily grab, I did, but even two, maybe three days later, I was still stepping on those little beads. One small, miniature swivel, as well. I’ll promise you’re going to be irritated, like that, like a box of gear getting scattered all over the kitchen floor. Look at this as chance to clean everything up. As a suggested, not that I have any experience with this, but get the hooks, all of them on the first pass.

The (mighty) Leo: Many years ago, I committed to both print and video media, my feelings about how a Leo typically handles a problem. Short-hand refresher: there’s an obstacle in front of the mighty Leo, and like the namesake Lion, you loudly declare there’s an obstacle and some minion had better get in here really fast and fix this problem.

Roar. That’s my typical response, and yes, many a Leo has agreed with me, repeatedly. Works well, usually. This ain’t normal times. One catchall phrase will help you: go with the flow. No, really, if there’s an obstacle in front of you, either flow around that problem, or drop that particular approach and head off in another direction. As a Sagittarius, I’m a fire sign — not as good as a Leo — but still a fire sign, and I understand this approach a little better. Different direction. One approach doesn’t work? Drop it. Move on to the next project, agenda item, whatever. Stopping and halting all forward momentum, demanding that one aspect be fixed before proceeding? Waste of time. Move on, or, like I suggested, “Go with the flow.”

6virgoVirgo: I just want to prepare my excellent little Virgo friends. Just want you to know. Give you a “Heads up” about this next few days. What to look for. You’re going to experience a strange sensation. It looks like, to me, that this is a binary question. One or a zero, in computer terms. On or off. Black or white. No grey areas — at all. Binary implies one of two outcomes. Nothing else. What happens? There’s a third outcome, and you’re going to say, “No way. I never saw that coming.” None of us saw that coming. I did, but I’m not Virgo. I’m a harmless Sagittarius astrologer. I’m the outsider, looking in. That means I did see it coming. Here’s the deal: you think this is a binary, either/or, on/off, black/white situation. There’s a third possibility. I’m not promising that will come out that way, but the odds are good that the oddest combination, the most unlikely, that’s what’s going to happen. Be a hero — be a Virgo hero — think about what you think is unthinkable.

Libra: The “Laguna Madre” stretches from Mexico to Houston, almost to Louisiana. It’s a long bay, home to the inter-coastal waterway, and the barrier islands themselves are nothing more than sand dunes a few meters high. The bay itself is quite rich in biodiversity, and for me, abundant fish.

We were fishing one morning, and we parked the boat in one spot. Gradually, over the next few hours, a number of other fishing guides showed up and tried to creep in on my boat’s place. We just stayed there, didn’t move. Over a thousand miles of inland waterway, and we stayed in one spot. Gradually, the fish started to bite and by the end of the afternoon, we had cooler full of future dinners, at our limit. Even had to throw some back. Not a bad day. We never moved from that spot. That’s the hint. With over a thousand miles of choices, why that one spot? It produced fish.

Libra: you can move around all you want, but staying put? Produces the most of whatever it is your fishing for.

Scorpio: The term, “The Mother Church,” around here, it generally refers to the Roman Catholic Diocese. My love of the old structures is well-known, elsewhere. I love them old cathedrals, the missions, the histories, the ghosts, the tales, and while I don’t agree with subjugating the natives, I appreciate the evangelical zeal that the founding fathers displayed — no separation of church and state for the invading Spanish. History, architecture, language, arts, there’s a long procession that dictates all of that.

I am fascinated with local culture. Part of the land’s heritage, events that shape the people and the places. As such, my South Texas is forever interesting on even the most mundane levels. As a Scorpio, you endure trials and tribulations. As a Scorpio, you endure. As a Scorpio with Saturn in your sign, like my fascination with local histories and cultures, you have similar — enduring — fascinations. Sometimes, to a non-Scorpio person, this would seem like the mundane. Still, there’s an enduring quality in the mundane. Fascination and enduring, two good words for your week (they imply “tenacity.”)

astrofish.netSagittarius: Working with a variety of personality types, I get to see, experience, a great number of different types of characters. One is the person, usually male, not unlike myself, but this will be a guy who is stuck in the “Glory Years.”

One fishing buddy, every fishing trip, without fail, last six, seven years, every trip includes that story about the high-school homecoming football game and his touchdown run. Hero of the day. High School Football is a big deal around here. I’m used to his story and I can recite it, at least, in part. I like my buddy, but I tune him out when he gets to the “glory years” tales.

As a Sagittarius, there are two cautionary notes. One, it’s a bad idea to tune out your fishing buddy, even though we’ve heard that story a hundred times, or more. Two, stuck in our “glory years,” and still talking about it? That story can wear thin on some of our listeners.

“He threw a ‘hail mary,’ and I thought, ‘no way,’ and yet, I caught it…”

CapricornCapricorn: My simple prognostication for Capricorn? There is nothing that has to be decided right now. “But the deadline is THIS WEEKEND!” so you say. No need to scream. There is nothing that can be fixed in great haste. I do well with hurry, but I’m Sagittarius, in a constant state of flux. For me, life is all about grey-scale images, various shades between light and dark. As a Capricorn, I can’t see the world like that, not this next few days. There’s that serious “urgency” that must be answered.

Insane drum machine in your own head, what it looks like to me. The beat keeps getting faster and faster, and as it progresses, you keep getting more and more frantic. That kinetic energy is good sometimes, but now? Hardly. The message, it’s really simple, “There is nothing that needs to be decided right now.” I know, there’s a deadline, but to keep yo from making an ill-formed answer? Put it off. There’s too much skittering around in your head at the moment to be rational.

Delay. There’s nothing that has to be decided right now.

Aquarius: Choose. Choose wisely. You can have excitement galore, this next few days. Or, as an Aquarius, you can have it simple, stress-free. Choose. Excitement, along with its emotional roller coaster of up and down problems, or you can have a peaceful, easy feeling. Choose. I always liked the expression, “If you’re not living on the edge, then you’re taking up too much space.” However, as age and circumspect caution has entered my life, I can more appreciate the simple, level-headed approach. I can do without the drama, some days. As an Aquarius, there’s a simple, binary decision. Here, in front of you, this week. Excitement with inherent instability? Or staid and conservative, with its inherent stability.

You choose, Aquarius.

Pisces: I was fishing with a buddy. We were in one spot. Not exactly photogenic as it was the crumbling wreckage of an old off-shore oil-rig terminal. In the distance, there was a whine of machinery as tanker-trucks pulled into the vacant lot. I’m not sure what was happening, as it was out of sight, from us. We were taking shrimp from the bait bucket, hooking them, sinking them to the bottom, which was 30 or 40 feet down, and then, after a few nibbles, reeling the empty hooks back up. Small fish, apparently.

We left, came back an hour later, and instead of shrimp, we tried another kind of bait. Wound up with two, very large, Redfish. The difference was the bait (and tide), not a big change. Same location as before, same gear, just a different kind of bait. We didn’t figure that we just needed different bait until we left and came back. Sometimes, a little change, with Mercury moving where it is in Pisces? Sometimes, a little change in point-of-view makes it easier to see the issue, and find the right bait for the situation.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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  • Rhubarb Mar 21, 2013 @ 10:01

    Dear Darling Astrologer–good advice and I will do my very level best to stay in the moment, and listen actively. Thanks!

    On another note, you say, “I’ve long maintained, anyone willing to listen, that San Antonio is way weirder than Austin —”. Might I point out that beauty being in the eye of the beholder…?

  • Kramer Wetzel Mar 27, 2013 @ 12:45

    Oh no, it’s a fact.

    Way.