Horoscopes starting 4/18/2013

“And some will mourn in ashes, some coal black,
For the deposing of a rightful king.”

    Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of King Richard the Second [V.i.52-3]

400 and some odd years later? Politics never change.

taurusTaurus: “Do you know how hard it is to chase a two-year old in six-inch heels?”

No, I don’t know how hard that is. I can’t imagine a two-year old wearing six-inch heels, anyway. The question was from one of my clients, single-mom type. My flippant but grammatically correct answer only served to further inflate the irritation. Doesn’t look like I support single moms. I do.

There’s a simple message here. Doesn’t have to do with six-inch heels, two-year old kids, or chasing children around the Wal-Mart. It’s about Mars, Venus and your Taurus birthday.

Dress appropriately. For babysitting, and general child-care issues? A running shoe would seem most appropriate. Not six-inch stiletto heels. Although, to be honest, yes, those are heels are very effective for some activities.

Gemini: I’m not totally clear on the concept, too much time in Austin, but in South Texas, I was standing next to large Latin gentleman, and I was waiting, listening to the espresso machine hiss while milk was being frothed for a cappuccino. Guy looks at me, smiles, and made a comment about the hiss of the espresso maker. I nod and allow as how that’s my morning preference. He tipped his “Big Red” at me, and I smiled, broadly. “Where were you born, South Texas?”

Big Red is a dietary staple. I can’t say I’m fond of it myself, too sweet, too sugary, but I do like the flavor, and I can appreciate the way it is a cultural artifact. Man-made, ingrained in the very spirit of the people, and as an indicator, a good way to understand a sense of place about a person.

A single smile, a single indicator, a simple “non-judgmental” judgement, like, drink and location? A simple observation. As a Gemini, you’re going to try and complicate this. Stop. Simple, easy to see and simple to call. Don’t complicate it, and don’t over-think the situation.

Cancer: While this is certainly about clarity, there’s the way the clarity is delivered, might not sit well with my fine Moon Children friends. As a strong, cardinal sign, Cancer is nothing if not willing to adapt and change. Maybe not so much on the “willing,” but as a cardinal sign, you can change. Frequently do, too, only you don’t always admit it. Not a problem, not what this is about. It is about adapting and changing. We can make this easy, or we can make this difficult.

It’s your choice.

Easy, hard, you pick which way it will be. As Mercury aligns with Uranus, and as that exacerbates a tension angle between Uranus and Pluto, there’s a need to see a particular issue clearly. The clarity shows up. This week. Might not be the answer you were looking for, but it is an answer to a question, and like I have intoned, “Now you can see clearly.”

LeoThe (mighty) Leo: With Daylight Time and the onslaught of summer, the first, cursory shots of heat warming and trending towards a hot summer, there’s a hint. Hello, my Leo friend. Some will mourn the passing of the rightful king, in that play, The Tragedy of King Richard the Second as he was an effeminate little creature, more tuned to poetry and fine arts and less tuned to harsh political reality.

Funny, how the third version, Richard III, is such an opposite character, the hunchbacked toad. Between you (the Leo) and me, the guy writing this stuff, I have a little secret. Pause. Be quiet. There’s a long-term influence that is quite beneficial for you. There’s also a short term annoying factor. I can’t do anything but warn you about the short term annoyance. Long term is excellent. Short term? Not so much. Don’t snap at me, I just read the stars. Which tragic Richard do you want to look like? Richard II, or Richard III?

VirgoVirgo: Before we get any further along, quick, list three items that you’re grateful for — three items on a list. Can be things, like inanimate objects, or it could be something else, like feelings, actions. Weather, wildflowers, women, three things I’m grateful for. Well, that’s right now.

The gratitude about the “women” category can change, as it’s a fickle mess. Same with the weather, although, I picked kind of careful to find an environment that I thoroughly enjoy. That’s me. That’s an example. There’s both tension and delight in this next few days. Make that list now. Three things you’re happy about. You might need to refer to it when the tension builds. If you’re already tense (two Virgo I know are like that, now)? Trying to come up a simple list of three things to be happy about? There’s a challenge that will shift your directions. Pick out three things you’re happy about, with, Venus, eventually Mars and the Sun, all in Taurus.

Libra: There’s a lick from a Red Hot Chili Peppers song, “Give it away, give it away, give it away now.” And so on. The lick, what I was thinking about, what made look at that, I was working on your horoscope, and I kept hearing it. I don’t think I own either an analog or digital copy of that song. That song became a powerful ear-worm for a few days. Not even the whole song, just the single lyrical refrain. As a Libra, you believe in fair and equitable treatment. The problem? For the next two three days, that song, it’s ear-worm section I quoted, that’s what’s stuck in your head. Feel like you’re just giving it away.


scorpioScorpio: It’s comforting, but it’s not comforting. It’s time to make a stand. It’s time to pick a side and stand up for what is right. Or not. It’s time to make yourself heard. Or maybe, a time to be quiet? Who knows? I do. I’m not a Scorpio.

Mars enters Taurus, opposite from you, along with the Sun. Means it’s time to cool down. There’s an issue that you’re pretty stubborn about. I know, who ever thought a Scorpio would be stubborn? Anyway, I’m not sure this is the time to fight that issue. I don’t mind be foolishly wrong where everyone can see it. I’ve embarrassed myself a number of times and my psyche can stand it. You’re a Scorpio. Do you want to play the fool this week? Think before you react. Send me a nasty note, if I’m wrong. Won’t bother me, but then in a few days, you might have to sheepishly send me another note saying I was right. Think, (Scorpio) do you really want to go there?

Sagittarius: 20, maybe 50 miles south of where I live, less than a hundred, but more than a “neighborly” distance, there’s another county, rather large, and, as I pass through to go fishing, I’ve noticed, quite ravaged by wildfires. The wildfires are a force of nature to behold, almost instantaneous, they burst upon the scene, and flow across the landscape with no direction, up and down the rolling terrain, with no remorse and no normal break. Ranches and copse of trees? Thin, dry watersheds? No barrier for the fire. As quickly as the fire erupts, though, it can flame out. Flows up and down hills, no regard for private or public property, and then, as quickly, the fire is gone. Disappears. There’s an idea, like a virus, seizes our Sagittarius brain, and like the wildfire, erupts to take everything in its path. The warning is, like the wildfire, it can just as quickly change directions, go against the grain and terrain, and it can just as quickly, go out.

As a part of this image, there’s a spot on the highway, just passed it last week, where there was a big, black burn mark, a few weeks ago. Green shoots of fresh growth are already growing there.

CapricornCapricorn: I was in an electronics store. As I’ve been a techie most of my life, I have an affection for big stores with acres of boxes, electrical parts, hardware, maybe a close-out rack of software titles that no one uses anymore.

Is there anything more fun than the building blocks of engineering toys? Might have something to do with my background, but the tech toys are always cool. Never can tell when I might want a USB Lava Light, or a directory scrubber. On an end-cap, there were these velcro ties for computer cables and stuff. I thought that it would be cool. Then I realized I have half of pack of those already, unused. The stuff is cool, but it doesn’t work if I don’t install it. Capricorn, there’s a message for you: it doesn’t work if you don’t install it.

aquariusAquarius: I’ve long since forsaken the “datebook” calendar with pen, pencil and paper, in favor of electronic appointment books. I’ve tried several, and I’ve found one that I’m fairly happy with. I like it because it has that now-ubiquitous “drag and drop” function. I can move appointments around. Why this is important: you have several items stacked up. You will want an ability to easily move around your shifting priorities. What’s most important today? Number one item? I’m just suggesting, that priority might tumble from the number one spot, in the next few days. Hours, even. So either it’s pencil and paper, clearing and rescheduling, or it’s like me, dragging and dropping, just playing musical hours trying to accommodate everyone’s last-minute changes.

Be flexible to last-minute edits and changes.

“But, but but!” (I said ‘flexible;’ it works better.)

Pisces: “See that?” A fishing buddy held up a lure, tied on the end of pole. We were about to wade off into the Laguna Madre and chase us some big Reds. “It’s a fresh water lure.” I glanced, shook it once, listened to the ball bearings inside, rattled like, like, like they all do. I nodded.

The real difference between saltwater lures and freshwater lures is the resins, paint, and most important, the kind of hardware, has to be stainless instead of high-tensile, high-carbon steel. Not really a big deal, as my lures get beat up, lost, eaten, or forgotten long before the freshwater lures rust from too much to use in saltwater. For me, it’s not a big deal. My fishing buddy, though, Pisces, he was proud. He’d made a discovery that worked well for him. Pictures are on the website someplace, me, him the fish we caught. Try something different. Be surprised how well a Bass lure works on Sea Trout.

“You’re kidding, right?”

I wouldn’t kid about something as serious as fishing.

Aries: I was in a couple’s home, and I reclined on the couch, propping my feet on the coffee table. I was immediately “tsk’d, tsk’d” by the guy (fishing buddy). I shifted and let my feet drop to the floor. Which was just too bad as the couch, it was one of those great, comfy things with a worn, weathered leather cover, and soft in all the right places, and the coffee table, it was the perfect height.

Relax, pop the feet up on the table. Perfect ottoman. In two days, you get a chance to do just that. The only, and this isn’t much of a warning, but the only problem is that, like me, there’s someone telling you not to put your feet on the table. If it’s in my place? You damn well better put your Aries feet on my coffee table — it’s what it is for. Intended that way. Got it?

Next couple of days, sit back and prop your tired, Aries feet up on the furniture.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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