Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 10.31

    Morning Song

    A diamond of a morning
    Waked me an hour too soon;
    Dawn had taken in the stars
    And left the faint white moon.

    O white moon, you are lonely,
    It is the same with me,
    But we have the world to roam over,
    Only the lonely are free.

    By Sara Teasdale (1884-1933)

The Moon, big influence, and the poem, something I stumbled across, just seemed to fit with this week’s planets. Happy Halloween!

scorpioScorpio: That’s payback. You know what they say about that? Quick quip from popular culture? What they say about payback? What this is about. What you’ve invested, and I’m not talking about money, either, but effort you’ve invested in one area, only to see it either come to fruition, or? Or all for naught. Doubt that’s it, though. I don’t see it as bad. I’m not in your Scorpio shoes, either. If that investment doesn’t seem to be paying off, as in there are negligible returns for your good, Scorpio efforts? Stop. Stop now. Go and build a Halloween costume, or get a job in the haunted house, what we’re looking for is a Mercury Retrograde diversion. Think: short term. I wonder if you could dress as something different this year?

Sagittarius: Find something that makes you smile. Some days, this is easy. Other days, I have to dig a little. Some days, it’s no problem, as I find whimsy under my feet, figuratively and literally. Other days, I have to look for it, and as a Sagittarius, this might be a time when we have to look long and hard to find that whimsy we need. There are some clues and pointers, besides the obvious.

Instead of searching far and wide, there’s a chance to look in the cosmic mirror and see a reflection of Sagittarius, right there. As Halloween gets underway, then passes into the Day of the Dead, and All Saints’ Day, lets look for that whimsy, underfoot. What amuses, intrigues, delights, and astounds you? What do you like? Times like this, I curl up with a book. Anymore, it’s a digital book, but the idea is sound. I went through two, then three books that never did quite catch my fancy before I stumbled, figuratively speaking, into a novel that delighted me and piqued my curiosity about a new topic. That’s the sort of serendipitous action required to make it through the weekend. Ghost — goblins — ghouls, the specter of ex-lovers haunting us….

Capricorn: I passed a scene, early one morning, when I was out for a walk, I passed this one scene, looked like, I counted, about eight patrol cars, three firetrucks, and at least one ambulance. The road blocks were up, and I didn’t bother to try and force my way passed the string of cops standing around. I just took a quick picture and kept on walking. Maybe half an hour later, I was on the return portion of my walk, and the cops, the flashing red lights, all of that was still evident. Still no clue as to what caused it all. Much later, this was a few days ago, I found out that there was fire, not in the cop shop, which is what it looked like, but an adjacent structure, one of the support buildings. However, close to shift change, and close to the cop shop itself, that’s why there was such a snarl of flashing red light. My first thought was bomb attack or automatic fire, or similar, Cinematic Experience. Nope, no big deal. I’m not sure you’re following all of this, but the “No big deal,” is what this is about.

Aquarius: I have an orderly flow to my work. There’s a process that I follow. Step by step, inch by inch, meter by meter, or, with the planets, degree by degree. I start at one end and work towards the other. When Mercury goes backwards, I tend to circumvent the process. I’m also a lot more available for “emergency” astrology readings. Frequently, those readings are merely an interpretation of the symbolism in the current Mercury Retrograde pattern.

Be willing to circumvent the process to achieve results. Remember the errant Trickster’s place, too.

piscesPisces: It’s a knee-jerk reaction, at least, for me it is. I was crossing a downtown street, and Commerce, is, has been and will probably remain, a one-way street. Still, as I cross in the middle of the block, blatantly jay-walking, I look both ways. I know it’s a one-way street. I can see the cars stopped, half a block away, no turning traffic, I’m safe. Why do I look the other way, a casual, maybe frightened and furtive glance over the shoulder?

I know it’s a one-way.

“Look both ways before you cross the street,” is etched in my brain. I wonder if that’s the source. “Better safe than sorry,” that, too, is engraved. Still, one-way street, right? Why check? Local drivers are notoriously bad. That’s one. Mercury is retrograde, and that would cause someone to turn down the one-way street the wrong way, right? Sure. Or is this just a hardwired response? With the planets where they are? It’s okay to check that one-way street, just to feel safe.

Aries: Phones cycle through lifespans at an almost alarming rate. One of my fishing buddies, he gave his old iPhone to his three-year old. Had it set up to play whatever video stream that age child likes, and that was it. Except, it was still able to make emergency calls. Here’s what that child learned, dial the phone, pretend to talk to daddy, and the firetruck shows up. Big fun!

At three, I don’t think it’s such a big deal, but imagine what the learned behavior is from that single experience. Play with the phone icon, firetruck shows up. Mom panics, and daddy isn’t happy when he gets home. Although, let’s be honest, who gave the kid a phone in the first place? I mean a phone without disabling all of its features, like the emergency call.

Do I have to spell it out for you? That kid was just cute enough to get out of trouble — but as an Aries, can you raise the alarm when Mercury is like this, and get away with it? Put the phone down.

Taurus: One of my buddies showed with an amusing T-shirt. Across his chest, it read, “Drinking will continue until the fishing gets interesting.” Tickled me. A spin on a spin, a new take — to me — on the old line about, “Beatings will continue until moral improves.” Either way, all in good fun. I liked the fishing one better. But there’s a problem, see, first I’m not much of a drinking man these days. Long story, best left elsewhere. However, the second part of that? Long days in the sun, even now, in the purported “fall,” although locally, weather hasn’t been that much like fall, but never mind that issue, here? Long, hot days on the water? Fishing? My style of fishing? Alcohol tends to dehydrate the fisherman. (Fisher-person, whatever-ever.) Booze, beer, etc.? You’re welcome to bring and imbibe. I’m just suggesting that it wears you out more rather than adding anything to the experience. Just a suggestion. While it’s a funny T-shirt? Yes, probably not the way we’re going to do this. Think about Mercury, and, there’s one buddy here, Canyon Lake, yes, you go right ahead and bring beer. Lots of beer.

Gemini: Early one morning, I was with a date, sitting across the table from me, we were headed out of town and the first stop was a local diner. TexMex breakfast. Waitresses rustles up behind me, and just as she pulls abreast with the booth, she greets us, “Hello girls.” She looks down at me. “I am so sorry.” I grinned. Long hair? Get used to it. In Austin, last time that happened in Austin, I was mockingly dismayed. In San Antonio, it’s easier to understand. Me and about three guys have ponytails. The rest? Not so much. What’s common one place, like Austin, isn’t so common, a little farther south.

Gemini: You’re going to be similarly insulted, confused, or cause of ridicule. Like me. “Hello girls.” Oops, my bad. No need to gush effusively with apologies, just a simple, “I am sorry, I’m such a dork,” will work.

No big deal, here, let’s practice, “Hello girls!”

Gemini: Now, the other line? “I am sorry, I’m such a dork!”

Cancer: I hear a lot of fishing stories. “My niece caught her first, she’s not an ‘outdoor’ girl? 20 minutes on the water, must’ve been her first cast, she hooked a 36-inch Red. Asked her if she had it mounted. She just said, ‘No,’ they ate it.” I’ve got some pictures of me with a similar-sized Red, and no, not mounted, I tend to release the big ones. Free the Fighter! This isn’t really about fishing, it’s about that oddball luck with Mercury and all the rest of whatnot going on, planet-wise. The rookie scores the biggest hit. The “not an outdoor type” female aboard, just along for the ride? She gets the biggest fish. The other underdog wins, against all odds. Beginner’s luck? Underdog?

More important and this in my book of quotations, “The other line moves faster.”

The one time I used that very line, the person in line, in front of me, she didn’t get it. She thought it was some kind of serious observation.

Mercury is RX but it’s not all bad for Cancer. It’s just, over there? That checker is working faster. Unless you jump lines. Beginner’s luck. Can’t fight it. (Don’t.)

The (mighty) Leo: The Newton Boys are a legendary gang of robbers. Myth, books, a historical plaque on the side of the bank building they allegedly robbed, and, of course, the movie. Movie tie-ins and the list goes on. I got my first digital image of that plaque, maybe a dozen years ago. I thought it was funny — robbers were immortalized. One of Willie Newton’s more famous quotes?

“The problems with the laws today is they’re just too many of them.”

Sort of a run-on, but who cares? He was a convicted crook. Supposedly, the boys all retired from crime and lived on an undetermined resource of funds to the ripe old age. One of them tried to commit a crime in his 80’s, but that didn’t work out so well.

Mercury is backwards and it’s back-to-back with Saturn, giving this a certain flavor. I’d suggest, like the Newton Boys, it’s time to retire. At least, sit this one out, mighty Leo.

VirgoVirgo: It’s a matter of knowing when to speak up and when to shut up. Knowing that Mr. Mercury is backwards — in Scorpio no less — along with Saturn, cooking along in that sign? It’s time for my fine little Virgo friends to shut up.

“Know when to speak up and know when to shut up.”

Guess what time it is? The second half of that idea. Mercury will twist the words around in your pretty little Virgo mouth, and things come out upside down. Backwards. Insulting when you meant to be kind. Petty when you meant to be pretty. See the problem?

If you don’t see the problem, then I’ll explain. It’s not us, it’s you, Virgo. Mercury does funny things and this is one of them. One of the greatest lessons I’ve refused to learn, over and over?

“Know when to speak up and when to shut up.”

LibraLibra: You’re gong to be faced with a decision. A point where a decision must be rendered. A definite, “Yes,” or “No,” with no room to equivocate, vacate, or vacillate. All or nothing.

My suggestion is to buy time, bluff, hem and haw, and, as a last resort? I pontificate.

“Let me say this about that,” instead of “Yes.” Or, “No.”

With Mercury like he is? I’d suggest you’d make a wrong decision. The flip side of the wrong decision? At least it’s a decision. Good or bad, you’ll stick with it. Right?

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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  • jose quinones Oct 30, 2013 @ 21:16

    How come Leo gets the (mighty) addition? I’d hope to make the right decision rather than the bad one since the last wrong decision I ever made landed me in the Folsom Prison Blues! The memories make for an awesome story though.

    • Kramer Wetzel Oct 31, 2013 @ 14:02

      “You think I look bad? You should see what my face did to the other guy’s fist….”

      • Kramer Wetzel Oct 31, 2013 @ 14:05

        >>At least, sit this one out, mighty Leo.<<