Vacation Review

before we get started on the bit, allow me to do my contractually obligated gratuitous review…

..ahem:

If you want all the luxury of a five star resort with some down-home-style beach charm (framed Jimmy Buffet albums, anyone?) then don’t hesitate to check out Kramer Jan’s Beach Front Joint. As you walk in the entryway you see a sign hanging on the first arch that says, “Welcome To Paradise”.

They ain’t kidding.

The place is decorated tastefully (letting you know Kramer had little to do with it save for his awesome photography work which is scattered throughout – who knew a man with such a poor eye for tasteful shirts would have such a great eye for image layout?) and the hits just keep on coming – flat screen TV’s throughout, along with DVD/VCR’s in the bedrooms and Blu-Ray in the living room. Everything you need is there except for food and drink and that’s a mere phone call away(pots, pans, dishes, linens, a blender for margaritas, stereo, wi-fi, and Kramer’s tea mug which we figured we’d better not touch lest we get cut). A spacious deck overlooking the largest swimming pool in the great state of Texas tops it all off. More pools than you can count, a swim-up bar, an upstairs bar with a casual dress code, a beautiful view, and a happy hour that’s ONLY on Friday Saturday and you have the perfect weekend away.

Learn from my mistakes and bring some meat along – there’s more BBQ grills in back of the pool area than you can count, most with their own picnic gazebos attached…and beyond that? A boardwalk that takes you all the way to the beaches of the Gulf Of Mexico!

Seriously, what more do you need

I got my Kramer on and wore nothing but shorts or board shorts topped with the most obnoxious Hawaiian shirts I had – you should do the same.

The city of Port Aransas is less than ten minutes away in case you need something that isn’t there, otherwise you really have no reason to drive anywhere once your vehicle(s) are nestled into your reserved tandem space that holds three cars, or big ol’ trucks. No driving, no needs, and no hassle? Now THAT’S a vacation

in case you thought this site got a dramatic re-formatting kramer asked i write a review he could just cut and paste, so i figured i would capitalize accordingly…

moving on…

…none of the review is bullshit. we seriously had an awesome time. head on over to his site if you want to see pics of the place – we really didn’t take many ’cause were too busy having fun. we had some drinks, had some food, rode water slides, played in the ocean, pet sharks and stingrays, hassled an otter for phoning it in on his slide, and enjoyed other marine life at the state aquarium on the way out of dodge – topped it all off with a chacho’s run on our way through SA on the way home and it was pretty much the perfect vacation! thanks on my end to kramer for the lodging (not that it was free, but it was his place and all), shane for the dog-sitting, and the rest of you for reading about it?

down side? days away from mold and pollen coupled with coming back after major rain has me feeling sick as hell for my days off – good-night, everybody!

(original source)

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2024 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c. astrofish.net: breaking horoscopes since 1993.

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