Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.26.2013

“Not shines the silver moon one half so bright.
Through the transparent bosom of the deep,
As doth thy face through tears of mine give light.”

Shakespeare’s Love’s Labor’s Lost [IV.iii.7]

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.26.2013

White Paper 2014: The year ahead, what’s not covered in the up and coming horoscope.

The White Paper is available here (free download).

capricornCapricorn: There are number of telling astrological features about this week. Sun (Capricorn) conjuncts Pluto (Capricorn), and that mess squares Mars (Libra). Then, Venus is turning into a harsh little retrograde pattern — in Capricorn. Maybe a half dozen years ago, have to look to be sure, I started a photo-web-log. Different from a blog in several ways, it was merely a single image, posted at whatever time I felt like it, once a day, on its own site. Photo-streams and photo-sharing sites have come and gone, but that site of mine keeps on spinning, a single image a day. What is fun, to me, there’s enough of a backlog of work, images interesting to me, that I can just spool stuff up for months at a time, and I have no worries. What is more fun is when something current catches my eye, and I grab a quick image. I was uploading an Xmas image like that, and I got looking at the space filler, it’s a poor piece of digital imaging that’s been bouncing from server to server for several years now. Keeps getting put off until a later date. Once again, it’ll be bounced to another time slot. However, in the time I was looking at that image, before I rescheduled it? Capricorn came to mind. Amazing, and amusing material, if you look. Might have to dig a little. In the next five days, dig a little.

Aquarius: I get stuck in a loop and I can’t break free. There’s a very computer term for this, and I can’t think of it, not at the moment. You know, here you get stuck in a loop and can’t break out of the track? Over and over, same thing.

Next couple of days, there’s a chance to shake that loop loose. I know, as an Aquarius, you’d like to think, I’d like to think, too, that you’re immune to the machinations of Venus in its retrograde pattern. You’re not, not this time. Kind of funny, think about it, Venus is “love” and that’s not what this is about. This is about a recurrent nightmare. I have an eReader thing. Lighted. Glows in the dark, if the battery is charged. Charge the battery and be prepared to spend a few long hours, late in the night, or whenever, reading. Best use of time if sleep eludes you.

Easiest way to break out of that loop.

piscesPisces: I have an old, wired keyboard. Still stuck on a back-up computer I’ve got. The keys are hammered, as I’ve written at least two books and two more book-length manuscripts with that one keyboard. I’m not sentimental about the keyboard, it just serves a purpose, as a back-up for a back-up. On that one keyboard, shows its age, the letters “A” and “S” are worn off. Any familiar with my style, or anyone who’s been around computers long enough knows that, in the day, the save command was triggered by “S.” I got in a habit of hitting the save command as soon as I reached a natural stopping point, like, the end of the paragraph, and that’s been replaced with more modern variants of programs. I no longer have to hit the save command for the stew-like mixture of words to be saved automatically. The letter “A,” if I recall, is the most common keystroke in the English language. That explains the wear marks. That keyboard is the digital hardware equivalent of an old pair of jeans with the knees and butt ripped out, but still comfortable. As this new year get ready to start, we all need that pair of jeans, or, for me as a writer, that keyboard, to fall back on as a reassurance that the future is bright. Doesn’t always look like right now. But it is. The future is bright, we’re just not there yet.

Aries: There’s one shirt I have, a shirt left over from college. I bought that shirt at a discount place, back in the late 1980’s. Cost less than three dollars, and that was in 1980’s dollars. I think the shirt is a “second,” as some of the stitching doesn’t line up properly, but it’s a shirt that I’ve worn for many years now, and it doesn’t matter. Not a dress shirt or a fancy shirt, but who cares? I’ll wear it when I have a phone reading or when I’m walking in the South Texas heat. Beach shirt. Faded, floral print of some stripe or another. The cue here is “cheap.” Not “inexpensive,” the word is “cheap.” Instead of shopping for long-lasting and durable goods, look for something that is frighteningly cheap. Like that shirt. Lasted more years than any of my expensive cotton shirts, holds up fine, and if a cheap one gets lost? No loss, not really. Instead of looking for the high quality, think like me, think of me, think: cheap.

Taurus: Go it alone. Strike out on your own. Set a destination that only you, as the solo Taurus, set a goal that only you can make. With Venus backwards and with a ton of cardinal stuff piling up? No matter what you do, it’s will feel like your efforts are stymied, blocked, or co-opted by others.

The best solution?

Go it alone.

This is not a permanent situation, nor is it long-lasting in any stretch of the imagination, and Taurus imagination can stretch quite far, but no, you’re not going to be alone for that long. But there is hint here, strike out on your own. Blaze a trail for you and your goal, naysayers, doom-talkers, and assorted fakirs, none of them will understand. However, I do. Blaze your own trail.

geminiGemini: There will always be, “The one who got away.” I should’ve married her. “I should’ve married him.” I asked her to marry me, but she wasn’t available at the time. It’s not about marriage, an archaic and outdated institution, no, not about that, it’s about the “Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve” Gemini dialogue. Mostly an interior dialogue, too. Might be vocalizing it to some, but not all. While this is pleasant enough, for a portion of the Gemini brain to toy with possible scenarios that have long since passed by, this isn’t an entirely healthy choice of brain exercise in these dark days. You can chase them down, for a while, the popular activity was “FaceBook stalking ex-girlfriends,” but I’m not sure every Gemini should be doing that. The fracturing of the online social marketplace has changed the face of privacy and the “online stalking,” which really isn’t stalking, but never mind that now. It’s still creepy and as a Gemini, now isn’t the time to do creepy stuff. The one who got away? In my example? She’s happily unhappily married with three kids now.

Maybe it’s not such a loss.

Cancer: There’s a theory, promulgated over the years, I’m sure, by the makers of sentimental material, that whatever is happening New Year’s Eve, that sets a tone for the rest of the year. One year, I kissed a Virgo at midnight, which, in succession, led to a whole series of Virgo girls in the ensuing year. Wasn’t a good thing, not for me. Although, to be fair, at least I’m on speaking terms with most. As a side note, there’s similar theory, I sort of adhere to myself, has to do with New Years’ Day, and that sets a tone.

There was the year I spent New Year’s Day with a Sagittarius, and that set a tone for the year, too. As an astrologer, though, what you’re doing, as a Cancer Moon child, over the next few days, that sets a tone for the next six weeks. There’s a relationship issue that is bound to come up, and I’d suggest you borrow a page from my Sagittarius self, and duck. Here’s a snippet of conversation to help guide the way —

“We need to talk about us.” (Her)

“Okay, but can you look at this first? Does it look infected?” (Me)

Usually helps stop that nonsense chatter.

The (mighty) Leo: I was explaining a new fishing rig to a buddy. It was supposedly a simpler version of an exotic arrangement, used for delivering small lures a long way in heavy wind. Catch more fish, particularly useful on a couple of local lakes. I explained the rigging, the set-up, the hardware, and eventually, my buddy looked at me. “If I can’t do it in the dark, while I’m drunk, it’s not ‘better,’ not to me.”

As a mighty Leo, as a mantra for the next few days, think about that line, “If I can’t do it, in the dark, while intoxicated, then it’s not better.”

New year, new improvements. New chances. New ideas. Sometimes, though, the old way works just fine. You can do that, in the dark, while drinking. Just don’t drink and dial.

VirgoVirgo: Not long before the Xmas holiday started in earnest, I ran into a neighbor. He was just coming out of a noon-ish service at one of the myriad of downtown catholic cathedrals. We spoke briefly, and I was interested, as I tend to frequent, on none-religious times, one of the other cathedrals. “Yes, noon service is about half an hour,” he was saying in answer to my question. My favorite, I’ve chronicled elsewhere, is Westminster, in London (UK). In and out in 20 minutes, noon-thirty service. Up, down, up, blessing, cracker and shot of grape juice, then absolved of all sins. Quick, easy, painless. I know my neighbor’s persuasion, and I thoroughly support his belief. I openly admire it. I’ve discussed this — at length — before. However, with the way this week stacks up? It’s about ordering some of your Virgo priorities. What’s important? What’s really important? What matters? What doesn’t matter? Should you go to church? There’s at least one Virgo who will feel a creeping amount of guilt and get a sudden urge to go to the church….

Doubt it’s my neighbor, though.

Libra: A little time off, like between Xmas and NYE? That would do you a world of good. The British, I’m given to understand, celebrate “Boxing Day,” putatively, the day this scope should be live. It’s a whole day for putting stuff back in boxes that needs to be boxed up. In one family, we don’t put away the Xmas tree until my Austin event, usually the first or second weekend of January. Family traditions and work schedules can coincide. Traditions work out just fine and that means the Xmas tree should be up until almost the 12th Night (know the allusion? Never mind.) January 6, the Epiphany? Sorry, terribly Xtian in the calendar, but it helps. Time off. Relax. Chill. Duck. Get your ducks in a row for the new year. Time off, make it happen.

scorpioScorpio: You want a really good idea for this week, the week after Xmas? Thank you notes. No matter how trivial it might seem? Just a short note, maybe a plain notecard, or something that is vaguely “thank you” note-like. Maybe a holiday theme, doesn’t matter. I found these great ones, did it one year, no bigger than a post-it note, the card, envelope and everything. Didn’t even need a regular stamp, a postcard stamp would work. It’s not the action of sending the thank-you card, it’s the long-term effect of thanking people. Gracious, kind, a nod in the direction of what those of us raised Southern, or with some southern roots, what we would call, “Polite.” Just a short note. “Thanks for the horoscopes this year, sorry about Saturn being a downer, buck up!” Get the idea? Simple, inexpensive gesture, from a Scorpio? Goes a long way.

Sagittarius HoroscopeSagittarius: I take a little time off in the middle of the holiday season. Always find it funny, no one thinks about the next year until it gets here. Then it’s all, “What does my year ahead look like?” So if you try to reach me this week, if you’re one of the regulars, yes, you’ll hear from me. If not? Follow my lead on this, this is the down time between the storms. This is a few days of calm because, with the Cardinal stuff kicking everything loose? No one is calm, but us. So take a few days to rest up. The new year looks quite bright, but baby, we ain’t there yet.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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