Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 4.17.2014

    “All things that are,
    Are with more spirit chased than enjoy’d.”
    Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice [II.vi.15-6]

Cardinal Cross: Uranus (Aries) “squares” Jupiter (Cancer) “squares” Mars (Retrograde, Libra) “squares” Pluto (Capricorn) “squares” Uranus (Aries). And around we go.

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 4.17

TaurusTaurus: Technical notations? Taurus Tech Talk? At the very beginning of this horoscope, the Sun is in Aries, 27 degrees. At the end, the sun is 3 degrees, 57 minutes of Taurus. More Taurus than Aries. Then, too, Mercury slips into Taurus, and that’s going to add to the Taurus flavor we all crave. So we’re running this week with Taurus, first. This weekend? Cool it. Birthdays aren’t here yet. Starting on next Monday morning? Really, Sunday, but let’s be fast and loose with this, starting Monday morning, we’re all ready for the good stuff in Taurus. Bring on the cake and parties. I try to arrange a fishing trip for my birthday. That’s how I like to celebrate another turn of the planet, as one singer suggests, another trip around the sun. I’m unsure if a coastal fishing trip with a girlfriend is what you’re looking for, as a birthday gift. Adjust this as need be, but let’s start making some serious birthday plans. You’re going to have to do some of the work yourself, like call that one place you like to stay, and make sure you’ve got a good girlfriend lined up for the weekend. I’m sure one of the aforementioned Cardinal signs would jump at a chance to get away.

Gemini: This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this expression, but it’s been a long while. “It’s not vanilla,” the child said to me, “it’s white.” She was opting for a yogurt dessert, and that’s what she called it. To me, I can read the label, it said, “Non-Fat, Vanilla Yogurt.” There’s a difference. Or maybe there’s not.

This is about perceptions. With a soul that’s only been on this planet, two, maybe three years? I’ve learned to listen to the little ones. They are more fun, and more observant. While the label did suggest “vanilla” as the flavor? For the child? It was just plain white. All depends on how you look at stuff. With the Cardinal Cross up and coming? There’s a change afoot in Gemini land. Be willing to accept new terms, even if it seems a little strange. “No, it’s not ‘vanilla,’ it’s white.” Not the first time I’ve heard this, but I know better than to argue with a women, even if she’s only a few years old.

Cancer: I know several “alpha women.” Strong, vocal, driven, successful. In another setting, these females would be called “ball busters,” but I’d never use that term. I prefer “dedicated and motivated,” instead. Less pejorative, although, to some, the title is slightly irrelevant. Probably going to piss someone off with this, but it’s not me. I merely echo what I hear. The strong, determined, motivated and driven Moon Child? There is success all but guaranteed, even now. Despite the pressures? Or rather, as a direct result of those pressures? There’s a change you’ve been meaning to make. “But I don’t want to change (this, that, the other) because…” No excuses, not now. The pressure is on. The heat is on. There’s an inner well of reserve and strength, and you’ll need to call on that. I know you have it. This doesn’t have to be difficult. It could a be very simple change, just one item, one gesture, one different term. Thing “Motivated and determined,” instead of “ball-buster.” See how a simple change makes this better? Now, call on your inner-being and make the simple change. That makes room for new and better. No change? And then there’s no change.

The (mighty) Leo: Bubba, a Leo buddy of mine, he’ll remember this. He was piloting a little bay boat, and we were headed across the bay, spot I know, for fishing. He started talking. His attention drifted. I was standing beside the boat’s center console, so when he slammed the motor off, I was thrown to the floorboards. Bruised a knee. He suggested I get out and push, as we had a boat with six inches of draft in about five inches of water. While we were talking, the boat, my buddy’s attention, it drifted off course by about thirty degrees. One-twelfth of a circle. Not so much that it was a big deal, but in the narrow coastal waterways and treacherous flats, we went from five feet to five inches. Got out, pushed us back off the oyster bed, slight scraping noise, and we were back underway. Pictures on the website, I’m sure. 30 degrees change in course. All it requires. Pay attention, no distractions from a long-winded Sagittarius, and pay attention. You need a SLIGHT course correction, to stay true. Just a little adjustment, not much at all.

Virgo:One of the better places to fish is a set of flats right across from a coastal boatyard. Big boats boatyard. Naval yard, oversize stuff. That place, I’ve seen offshore oil rigs built there. Huge structures. It’s a big place. Opposite that boatyard, there’s a set of flats, nominally an island, but a big wave? Even a particularly high tide and the island gets washed away, or drowned for several hours. Situated on a channel adjacent to the Inter-Coastal, the big tankers flow back and forth. A large tanker was just moving through the channel, and my fishing buddy that day warned me. We were anchored in a foot of water, hitting a narrow cut with some baits and marginal success.

“That big tanker’s gonna suck all the water out of here.” I thought he as joking, but as the tanker glided passed, it seemed like a really fast-moving tide drained the flats. Has to do with the displacement of water in a closed container. Two minutes later, the our boat was sitting on weeds. A few minutes after that, water rushed back in and floated us free. With that rush of water, surging back in, and boat floating free, there was a nibble, then a very palpable hit: fish followed. What I thought might be a disaster turned into a minor amount of fishing fun. Watch the water get sucked out of your bay then flooding back in, along with fish following the drowned bait.

Libra: I’ve flown in commercial aircraft for so long, I’m used to it. Almost a commuter — not quite — but almost. I’m used to air travel conditions. Delays, bumpy flights, surly crew members. None of it bothers me. How adaptable can you be? With the current conditions in Libra, it’s the trifecta of annoyances: delays, uncomfortable conditions, and surly staff. I can’t prevent this from happening. However, my basic tenets for travel include plan to arrive early and plan to stay late, carry extra supplies, and make sure I’ve got at least one, maybe two, books to read. I was applying this to travel, but in the Libra world, it can show up almost anywhere. It’s not so much about expecting delays, but if they occur, have adequate material on hand to keep you busy. Book. Books. Notebooks, iPads, iPods, i-Things, whatever it is that keeps you occupied. Consider, too, a charger. Just in case. Allow for exigencies.

“Plane (train, cab) got there on time, but my ride from the station (airport, etc.) was way late.”


Scorpio: Hot enough for you yet? Just wait, it will really warm up even more. That’s a notation for those of us who live in South Texas. The current Scorpio climate portends for a hot summer. It’s safe prediction, where I live — it’s hot every summer. Seriously, I’ve seen one, maybe two “cool” summers in the last decade. Why weather talk? It’s about a safe prediction. As the mighty Scorpio wrestling with issues that are cropping up, there’s a single issue that keeps coming back. You can avoid it all you want. But it will haunt you all summer long. Going to be a hot summer.

That “thing” you’ve been avoiding? Stop avoiding. Old maxim works well here, “Hug your demons or they will bite in the butt.”

Sagittarius: “Chew know, when I was growing up, I thought it was ‘Kris Gringo,’ not Kris Kringle.” The amusing part of that tale? It fits. ‘Kris Gringo,’ you know, the fat white guy with a white beard? Fits. I was thinking, around here, it’s the middle, or even tail-end of the spring, so I’m thinking, Kris Gringo? Time for Xmas in the Summer!

I’m unsure how that will play out, not totally, but there’s a gem of an idea, a seed, a tiny image that can be teased up into a full-fledged product, service, something. Out of the incongruities, we’re looking for a piece, a part, a particle of an idea that gives us something to hold onto. Something. Anything. Times are tough. There’s a tremendous amount of unsettled energy floating free. With the idea of Xmas in Summer, you know, Chris Gringo, comes a-vistin’? With that idea, we’ve got to take some of this unsettled energy and found the correct, or most correct at the time, way to put this to constructive use.

Capricorn: It’s hard to follow my own advice. As I was preparing this week’s set of charts, then trying to tease out meaning, I realized I needed to take some of my own advice. As a Capricorn, you can, on occasion, dole out hard-won advice. It’s not about telling someone about some etheric, other-worldly experience. Most Capricorn advice comes from mistakes, repeated over and over, until you figure it out. It’s not a noble, better-than-thou position, it’s a “I’ve done the same, stupid thing myself” place.

Now that we’ve established that?

Consider stepping aside for a moment. If you could, objectively, look at this Capricorn “thing” that’s going on, even now? If you could frame the question, the problem, the issue, the Capricorn challenge as a question to yourself, how would you suggest someone else handle this?

Like I said, I just wish I could take some of my own advice, some days. Can you take your own advice?

Aquarius: Change is NOT difficult, if it is of your own, Aquarius, undertaking. Undertake changing one thing, one action, one habit, one item, could be as simple as hair color, undertake to change one thing that you think you want to change. Feel your need to change. Fill your need to change. One thing. Change one thing.

Pick and choose.

Figure what you want to change. This plays out two ways, either you change it, or it gets forced upon you, and when it is forced upon you? That tends to be uncomfortable. Uncomfortable for you, for them, for everyone involved. Makes some changes. It’s happening now, you can either pick and choose what you want to change, or the powers that be, whatever that is in your life, that will force the change on you. Your choice. You’re choosing. You’re choosing your choosing.

Undertake change.

Pisces: I’m a big fan of “Writing stuff down.” In this era, I’m less prone to use a real writing instrument, like a pen or pencil, and I’m much more likely to thumb a message on a phone, or tap a note on a tablet. Much more convenient, for me. Sometimes I’ll just take a cell phone picture, rather than even make a note. Easier.

The trick, help this week? Go back through your notes. Go back to that note you wrote to yourself on a sticky pad, then used as a bookmark, remember, the book you were looking through? Magazine page, and it wasn’t even the magazine page I was looking for? Got it? I’m also a big fan of the new search functions built into various websites. I can go back to an old weblog and search for a comment I made about a book, or movie, or something, with greater ease — now.

Use the tools, the built-in search functions, or that porous Pisces memory to find the reference that wasn’t what you were looking for, but led you to the right answer. Bet it was something that you wrote down, a while back. Looking backwards is how we move forward.

Aries: I don’t recall exactly where I was, someplace in West Texas, I’m sure, but I saw a guy walk by with a Roger Staubach, #12 jersey. Fan memorabilia, and the place, from whence, the Dallas Football legacy starts.

That’s a legacy that’s survived regimes changes, relocations, and yet, the memory of that one star shines on. (Roger Staubach is Aquarius.) Enduring, life-long legacy, and his reputation as a stalwart, upstanding, god-fearing man speaks for itself. Again, one of the few times when the man and the myth can align. Against all odds? How it feels in Aries, even now? Against all odds? Yes, with the weird line-up of planets, and more, not really an alignment, but a misaligned arrangement? Sure that fits better.

I was cheering for the Cowboys one year, and Staubach threw his usual “Ave Maria” pass, and it fell short.

What made me think of that was seeing a guy walk by, in a fan shirt, left over from the “good, old days.” It’s not football season, and there’s a further link between me and that universal football team, the Dallas Cowboys, via old #12. Trivia best left buried. However, as Aries? That “Bet the farm on the ‘hail mary’ pass?” Didn’t work that one time I really wanted it to work. With the odds against you? Think a different tactic might work better?

I do.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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  • jose quinones Apr 19, 2014 @ 12:33

    I always carry my i-magination; usually with an almost unlimited supply. Delays, annoyances, or whatever are just brick in the wall.

    • Kramer Wetzel Apr 24, 2014 @ 14:43

      Some days, though, it helps to have someone else’s book to read, you know…