Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 6.12

    "I did never know so full a voice
    Issue from so empty a heart; but
    The saying is true, 'The empty
    Vessel makes the greatest sound.'"
    Shakespeare's (a boy) about the character, Pistol -- Henry V [IV.iv.66-8]

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 6.12.2014

geminiGemini: "Yea Me!" Simple cry, simple battle cry, simple banter, simple disclaimer. The emphasis is going to vary throughout the week, but it's a good time, basically, for Gemini, with a few warnings. Mercury is Retrograde. If you haven't figured that out, therein is the culprit and cause of problems. That's the single warning. The solution, though and there is one, is the proper use of available Gemini resources. Nothing new. Simple mantra. I've turned my kitchen into an experimental ground for culinary arts by way of the "clean out the ice box" school of cooking. It's called, "What ever is left over at the end of the week, has to be used or tossed." Usually, this before I depart for a weekend or more, but sometimes, it's just an effort to combine the odd bits and pieces of summer and spring vegetable groups to see what can be combined. Here's a hint: vanilla, spinach, kale, carrots, cinnamon, all together? Tasted like cleaning fluid. Not good cleaning fluid either. Part of the experience includes a few mistakes like that. Still, clean it out, throw it all together, I've come up with good soup that way.

The kale/carrot etc., shake? Not so much.

"Yea me!"

Cancer: We need to lay some plans. Get some sketches drawn up, then figure out what's the next step. We want to lay some plans for the future of the moon-child. There's some work, up and coming ,and we need to get together and draw out a map for this stuff. We need to lay some plans. Of course, you know, by now, that Mr. Mercury is Retrograde.

The mercurial pattern etched out in the stars, the pattern is one where we draw upon foundations previous laid in order to move ahead with plans that are new, but not new. When I work with Mercury Retrograde energies, like we are, I tend to look back before I move forward. As a Cancer Sun sign with Moon child influences, looking back and combing over previously covered material is important as that's how we move forward. Then, too, I suggest we draw up some new plans, based on old information. I didn't say to act on the plans, just sketch some new ideas -- looking back over what we know to make that a better "new" plan. Let's lay some plans.

The (mighty) Leo: Regrettably, this is a little "Northern Hemisphere specific," but that's how I am. Where I live. Anyway, a few months ago, I predicted we'd have a hot summer. So far? I'm right. One Leo will look at me, and claim it's my typical line. Safe bet, every year, I've been wrong once in the last decade. Even, then, on the warmer days, I was right. As the mighty Leo, what was the safe prediction you can roll out now, with this sort of problematic Mercury Retrograde?

"Going to be a hot summer, looks like I was correct, huh?" Feel free to use that one, I won't be bothered. Still, there's another item on the majestic Leo brain that needs some attention. To get by with this while Mercury is Retrograde? Make sure you make a reference, an allusion, to previous mentioned remark, an earlier prediction, something to anchor the new news in the recent Leo past. Make it a reflection, not a new announcement. That helps with the mercurial location and usual problems.

Virgo: William Carlos Williams is an American Poet, part of the literary leaders of the last half of the last century. He was also a medical doctor, sort of did both. He's best known his long-form (book length) poem, "Paterson." It's about Paterson, NJ. Some philosophers, poets and astrologers command you to go to great heights. Me? Like that American poet, William Carlos Williams, I'd suggest the real message for Virgo is right under your own feet. Instead of looking outside, instead of looking "anywhere but here," look for the inspiration right under your own soles. Little bit of soul is right there. Great, except one Virgo will bury her head in the sand, at her feet. Not what I meant. I suggested we look right where we're at for inspiration. I didn't say stay put.

OK, since there's more than one Virgo who isn't getting the poetry allusion? Try this: click your ruby slippers together three time, and repeat, "There's no place like home."

Libra: Declarations: I am not a musician. I can't play music. I can't carry a tune in a bucket. (Just addressing the opening statements for Libra.) One buddy of mine aspires to be a guitar god. Towards that end, he plays almost every day, strumming his six string. Over the years, he's taught himself the chords and notes to most of the classics, insert a "guitar gods" song here. Got an image? He can pick up and play, almost any guitar, and he can pick out almost any song from the last years that has a good guitar solo. What's fun, he can do most of this on a venerable six-string acoustic (guitar). I was attempting to illustrate a point, and I couldn't even hum the notes to the song, "You know, 'duh-duh-duh'?" That's followed by a quizzical look, both from me and my listener. My buddy, the amateur guitar picker? He's quite good, but he doesn't think he's that good. He is. He mastered his art form by practicing every day. There's a special Libra message, carefully encoded herein: practice every day. There's some extra energy, and the image is that of my buddy, fingering his guitar, every day.

Scorpio: One astrology teacher always referred to Scorpio as "hooded." I never did get that, but there is that dark and foreboding look that some of the mighty Scorpio's carry with them. There's a small amount of hope, in the near future. "But Mercury is heinously retrograde!" Sure. And you know that, right? Watch. Don't engage. Don't buy into it. Someone flies an idea across the bow of the good ship Scorpio? Don't ram that idea. Don't run over it, bite it, or take its bait. A smirk, a Scorpio Smirk (tm), a special gleam in your eye, "Ah-ha, Kramer warned me! I won't bite. I won't take the bait. I won't give the smug SOB the satisfaction of knowing I suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune... (sic)" With Venus moving opposite you, I doubt you'll stay "hooded," and I'm not even sure what that means, other than, like a cobra, with it's hood flared. However, don't chomp down on that opportunity. Might not be as good as it looks.

Sagittarius: The rise of the "info graphic" heralds the demise of useful information in print form. Oddly enough, the info-graphic started with a chain of newspapers only to transcend its forefathers, rise up and put the printed word to death. If I were to attempt a similar story-boarded graphic display of this week's Sagittarius energy, well, it's easy. Mercury is headed opposite from us, in backward fashion. Just means we need to review something we thought we covered. Me? I don't mind. I've got a library full of material that I can review. I'll dig out one book, figure it's the wrong one, then look at something next to it on the shelf, same author, different author, same genre, different reference book, maybe a fictional piece, and I'll see where that leads me. I'm unsure of the destination. The info-graphic, those things all lead one place, and it's possible to absorb the entire image -- and the image's thread -- in a single glance. If you want an easy, info-graphic horoscope? Follow my Mercury Retrograde advice, lined out in the book, The Portable Mercury Retrograde. However, if the info-graphic version doesn't work for you? Best bet is to let the fingers meander along the wall of your library, and see what needs to be review: hint? It's not what you thought it was.

Capricorn: A university in England teaches Heavy Metal as a curriculum. Not just a course, but as a whole portion of a music degree. In its incipient stages, some of the artistry in that genre's performance is quite athletic. Not easy to bang a rhythm like that, and get the proper bridge and cow bell, all worked in at the correct time. Then there's the thudding bass, and guitars. All the virtuoso guitar players. I won't argue some of the more artistic elements, as it's there, and the composing, that all requires a level of ability that I don't have.

Can it be taught? I'm not sure.

Can the basic elements be taught? Sure. That's what the university in England was doing, teaching the elements. Funny, to me, to think that some pencil-neck, high-brow, Ivory Towers type is going to teach Black Sabbath, Def Leppard, and Led Zeppelin as introductory material. Stranger things have come to pass. What was once outlaw is now taught in hallowed halls. As the Capricorn, what is it that makes this outlaw Capricorn think in terms of teaching at a university? It's Mercury-inspired thought, but there's also something else at work. What was last year's, last decade's revolution, is that now mainstream?

Aquarius: Pause. "No, see, I've got this great idea!" Pause. "No, really!" Pause. "It will work, really well, I'm sure of it, here, just try this!" Pause. See how I was building in a pause there, after each excited exclamation? The missing beat. The half beat where we don't say anything, just look? The half a tick longer than most? That extra pause, that's the secret. That's the secret to make this all work for you. Yes, Mercury is in a retrograde pattern, and yes, Mars is in Libra, and there's an added layer of full-moon mania on top of everything, which lends an excited, "No WAIT, you've REALLY got to SEE this!" Adds that extra emphasis, like the three cartoon exclamation points, "Wow!!!" Build in that extra pause. You're going to feel out of sync, anyway, and as long as you're out of sync, use that to buy a little extra time. Build in a half-beat longer than usual pause. You'll look like a genius. "Hurry!" pause.

Pisces: Buddy of mine emailed me a link to a series of photos of this "incredible thing." In an idle moment, I poked around on the web and looked at the pictures. Here's the problem: some time in the last couple of years, same buddy has sent me the same link, to the same series of images, "Would you look at that!"

It was sort of amusing the first time and I buried a link in the horoscopes, as I am wont to do, as a bonus. That was the first time. The second cycle, enough time has gone by and I looked, marveled, and then wondered, "Haven't I seen this before," wait for it, there it is, and that means, "Yes," this is not new material. Same sender, even.

With 500 cable channels, and still, nothing on TV? With the whole of the inter-webs and still, recycling links? As a Pisces, this is a process you're probably going to cover this next couple of days, especially as Retrograde Mercury heads into Gemini. You've seen it before, but until you click, link, read, view, watch or tune in the program, until you start looking, you won't realize that this isn't new material. The other component at work? Just because it isn't new, doesn't make it any less fascinating the second time around.

Aries: Some of the strongest refusals I've heard? "I don't want to," and "you can't make me!" Ah, but I can. Or, I can't but Mercury can motivate your little Aries self. The retrograde Mercury slips from Cancer to Gemini, early next week. Mercury's apparent backward slide doesn't go unnoticed, but the pressure it is putting on your little Aries self? That gets easier.

Next week. Until then, the refrains previously mentioned, "I don't want to," and "you can't make me" are probably oft-repeated by Aries. If you consider it, though, those expressions can be construed as a challenge by other signs. In the Aries world, these aren't challenges. But to other folks? It's easy to see how that terminology can be mistaken for a challenge, "I don't want to!" Oh, yes you do! My fave? "You can't make me!" Watch this. It's about motivations, stations, and ultimatums. If you think about about it, sure, it's easy to understand how your pouting Aries self, easy to understand that your statements look like a challenge. How you react to how other people react to your statements? That's were the fun begins. "You can't make me," and "I don't want to," can easily be turned around, if the offer is sweet enough.

Taurus: This is about decisions that you've made. I'm not a Taurus, I don't have to live with the choices you've made, not right now. Maybe later, but for the moment, this isn't my problem. It is a Taurus problem, though, as there's a series of decisions you've made, and now is the time to look at what that results in, how those decisions dictate your next course of action.

This is "looking backwards" so we can cast forward. Better yet, this looking over our shoulders as a we wind up to make an epic cast. When there are two or more in the boat? I tend to always look over my shoulder before I wind up to cast. Nothing's worse than getting hooked on the final stages of an outbound hook -- personal experience -- it's painful. So this next couple of days, this next week or so? Let's look over our shoulders, maybe follow that hook and bait, watch where it is at all times. Safer that way.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.