Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 9.18

    “But men are men; the best sometimes forget.”
    Shakespeare’s Othello, the Moor of Venice [II.iii.201]

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 9.18

VirgoVirgo: There’s this silly affection that I will forever hold for all things Virgo. No rhyme or reason for it, as I’m a Sagittarius and I don’t get along with the innate Virgo sensibilities. Always a tension/attraction thing, and my best fishing buddies are frequently Virgo, but that’s also because I won’t date one of them. Still, there’s always that Virgo “thing.” That Virgo “thing” is more pronounced now, over this next couple of days, getting stronger this weekend. It’s about one last task, one last goal, one last chore, one last action that must be completed before any of us, Virgo, and non-Virgo alike, one last goal to make a run at, one last, perhaps this is a single, onerous task, that must be tried. Make a super-human effort to accomplish that goal, short-term, before the end of the Virgo weekend. Thanks me later.

Libra: Over heard? “I’m not a real Texan; I didn’t grow up wearing make-up.” Female of approximate dimensions, and the comment struck me as highly amusing. It does go with the notion that Texas is full of heavily made-up ladies. As one governor is credited with noting, “The bigger the hair, the closer to Heaven.” Both speak volumes about perceptions, and these are perceptions rather than reality.

Which is a point that, as a Libra, we need to learn how to discern the difference between perceptions and reality. In my version of Austin? No make-up at all. Usually hippie-chicks in advanced casual attire, and no war paint on at all. None. That’s just Austin, too. Each locale has its own style. This isn’t about make-up, or women in Texas, either, this is about perceptions. What are the perceptions, and how those perceptions patently false? As the birthdays start to unfold next week? Perceptions. What people think, what Libra people think, and what’s really there.

Scorpio: Do you remember “Leg-warmers?” Went with wide headbands and was associated with various, long-since dated exercise routines. Step into the “way back machine,” and return with us to the thrilling times of yesteryear when leg warmers and headbands were cool. Cool to be hot, or something. There’s an arcane reference to some passed fad that bares uncovering for Scorpio. The point is about exercise. Maybe you don’t really need leg-warmers, but some kind of similar attire is required. Might be old-fashioned, might be archaic, might be pretty much useless like the aforementioned leg-warmers, but there’s an element that needs to be dredged up from your past, the Scorpio past, and used, even now. Looks like physical exercise is required, too, hence the leg-warmers. I guess.

Sagittarius: Never did like arguing with the management. Like, the cable company, the TV company, the phone company? The cell service provider, the electric company, the water board, and in my favorite, long-past example? The people who ran a certain trailer park in South Austin. Discussions never went well for me. Customer service has changed some, but the problem is, the folks on the other end are still in control, and it feels like I have little to do with my own destiny. As a Sagittarius, we’re being hit with one of those situations that require delicate negotiations. The problem, with Mars? We’re of the wholesale slaughter, scorched earth thinking now. Does not work. My suggestion is to think twice, act once, and make sure all the little parts are lined up before we start ranting and raving about a perceived sleight.

Capricorn: You would think, there would be a manual on to deal with certain situations. Recently, I ran into an ex-girlfriend’s ex-husband. I think he was Husband Number Two, out of a probable four, so the memory was long-erased, from the ex-girlfriend. Hadn’t thought about her in years. So I’m unsure of the proper protocol, in my own mind, I just sort of think of the ex-husband as another in a long line of boyfriends, while she was looking for a good mate.

“Kissing frogs,” is my shorthand version. I’m not sure he likes being thought of as a frog, but the split wasn’t all her fault. So I’m unsure of the protocol. Means I was a frog, too. The guy insisted on making conversation with me. I wasn’t uncomfortable, just, I wasn’t sure how much I should reveal, and, in all honesty, I hadn’t seen the woman we had in common for several years. How to deal with situation when there is no manual, no set rules of etiquette that I know of. What I did? I remained affable, tacit, alert, and observant. I never suggested anything. Capricorn: there is no “manual” on how to handle this astrological transit. What I suggest? Same thing I did when faced with the the ex-girlfriend’s ex-husband #2: Aloof, affable, noncommittal.

Aquarius: There was some heavy, thumping bass background music playing. I was nodding my head, arrhythmically, to the beat. It’s an Aquarius move. Out of sync, and yet, for all of its worth? In sync, in my own mind. This is a simple gesture and an easy example of how this week works for Aquarius. Out of beat, one step off from whatever it is that everyone else is hearing, and yet, in our Aquarius minds? Perfectly in sync, and in unison. Perfect pitch. Not a good time to sing karaoke — unless your friends are really, really drunk. This is a time for some solo work. We can head-bob, foot-tap, even sing, in the solitude of our own enclosures — where no one can see us. Just because we don’t all move in a rhythmic manner that is universally accepted? That doesn’t mean we’re not grooving to our own beat. Just, in the next few days? Better off doing this sight-unseen. Alone.

Pisces: As a Pisces, I hope you appreciate this one, it’s about the fish. It’s about the fish, getting away. It’s about the fish, getting away and me coming up with nothing to show for all the fight and bluster of the big fisherman. Early one morning, on the coast, we were fishing. Baits in the water, sun just coming up, the promise of another scorcher of a fall day. Rod bends over, line starts stripping off the reel, the drag screaming in agony. I grab the pole, start reeling, gradually turn the fish and then, after a battle of epic proportions, the fish gets up close to the boat, gives me a hairy eyeball look, and she shakes the hook. Big Red, close to three feet long. Happens two more times, fish take the bait, get hooked, then shake the hook loose as we get closer. Eventually, what I did, I replaced all the hooks I was using. While the hooks that were on felt sharp enough, after a long summer, I suspect the barb wasn’t as intense, or that some aspect of the hardware wasn’t working correctly. Not sure what. But the new hooks worked. While I couldn’t tell any difference between the old and the new hardware, it made a difference to the fish. They stayed on with the new hooks. Small change. Big difference. Best of all? Between old and new? No discernible difference, not to my eyes.

Aries: I’ve had several clients, couple of buddies, too, who’ve suggested that a “Dual screen set-up” for my desk space is most effective. Probably is most effective for them, one computer running multiple applications, two big screen with different stuff on each window? Probably works well for their workflow. For me, I know what works best, a single screen, sure, I have a second screen I could use, but no, just the one. I use it answer email, do web maintenance and track projects. Some light publishing duties, minimal graphics, and some design. One screen. A single window on the world. I’d like think of it like this, wait for it, another fishing metaphor. I can only handle one fishing pole at a time. I can have several lines in the water, but realistically, only one pole at a time. Only one computer screen at a time. As an Aries, this might make more sense, but there will be distractions. Onerous, odious, and ominous distractions. To concentrate, to make it through? One thing, one screen, one pole at a time. Can’t do it all at once.

Taurus: Ever have one of those scenes where the other person is just spoiling for a fight? Any reason, any reason at all, any pretext. Anything. Anything? “Did you say, ‘Anything?’ Come over here and I show you anything!” See what I mean? Any pretext that heads into an embroiled state of affairs. As a Taurus, you’re not one to fight. This isn’t you, but you’re going to run into this person in the next couple of days. My suggestions, to avoid the confrontation? Don’t engage. Don’t parry the words, no verbal riposte, no escalating remarks that lead to fisticuffs or, more serious, violence. Doesn’t work and no one wins. Avoid the confrontation. I didn’t say, “Avoid the problem,” no, that wasn’t the message. But when that cartoon-like character approaches you, and you can easily see that there’s trouble brewing, diffuse. Disengage and diffuse. Disengage, try to diffuse, or, use my second favorite method of problem resolution, “Run away.” There’s no sense in arguing with crazy people. Thinking you can win this one? That’s crazy talk, too.

Gemini: Poking around on the internets, I stumbled across some video footage. Looks like a cell phone job, couple of guys fishing off a dam, here. I never fished from that dam before. However, after watching that video, I know the location, and I know the time is right, or almost, to consider just such an adventure. Long poles, like surf-fishing poles, with extra reach, and smelly baits, as these are the South Texas equivalents of catfish.

Be a fun one to try. The point is, the time, the best time? The best time to fish starts next week. Anytime is a good time, but there’s going to be some fish who think that winter’s coming soon, and now that the days are a little cooler, not much, but a little, those fish are feeding. Putting on that winter weight. Makes for some fun times, fishing. Next week. In the time between next week, like Monday and onward? Between then and now? Get ready. Get out the gear you think you might need, for the Gemini expedition.

Cancer: On the “Cancer Event Horizon,” you can see that there’s a confrontation that might be headed your way. Easy enough to see. I’m not psychic. You might be a little intuitive, but that’s not what this is about. The event, the conflagration, the big, stinking scene? Could be complete with tears and wailing, and throwing one’s hand up in despair, all of that? This can be avoided.

One step, one symbolic gesture towards peace and tranquility.

Do it now.

Do it before this turns into an ugly scene. There’s a simple, symbolic gesture and if you take this step, make this move, offer this olive branch, there’s a chance that we can prevent that ugly scene, net week, week after. To avoid that certain unpleasantness? Make the gesture, take the step, do the deed this week. You know what I’m talking about.

The (mighty) Leo: I dated this one woman, and when she got quiet, her kid warned me, “When Mom gets quiet like that? Look out. She’s really mad.” Not just mad, but really mad. Over the top. Point of no return. Heads — and other body parts — will roll across the floor, severed from their original roots. Not pretty.

It’s not the noisy one, it’s the noisy one when quietest. As the mighty and majestic Leo, you have a well-known, well-respected roar. Like that one woman I dated, though, you also can present an even louder, more strident presence when quiet. This week, dear Leo? Walk softly, keep stealthy and silent. Be quiet and carry a big stick to clobber those who don’t respect your silence.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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  • jose quinones Sep 24, 2014 @ 14:36

    I got that rude awakening a week and a half ago, one as if I had been asleep for two years. Eyes opened, alter ego got murdered, and everything else, much of the Freudian baggage I’d say.