Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 8.27.2015

    “Your wit’s too hot, it speeds to fast, ’twill tire.”
    Berowne to Rosaline in Shakespeare’s Love’s Labor’s Lost [II.i.118]

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 8.27.2015


VirgoHappy Birthday! After last week, you thought I forgot! Ha! As if. As if I could ever forget a Virgo birthday. Sheesh, you guys. Here’s the deal, the other afternoon, I was out walking. Hot as blazes. South Texas Summer Sun, just a-broiling down. I’d stopped at a neighbor’s place for a quick dip in the pool. When I got out, I continued on my way, and my hair tie was loose, the straggly locks, some curl, a little bounce and my shambling ways? My hair dried, long and curly, and the hair tie slipped off some place between here and there. Didn’t bother me, too much, and I might not have noticed, except that it was getting extra hot on my neck. My hair dried out long, well, long in the back, it doesn’t start very far forward, and the dried hair came out perfect. With the current dishabille condition of Venus? Makes no sense. Or does it? The one time I wanted my hair tied back, I couldn’t do it.

Might be a minor thing, but on a hot summer afternoon? Seemed like major inconvenience. That’s what this is about. What do you think, looks good, long, no hair tie, right? Still, hot as can be. It’s about choices, and what to do about fashion. Sometimes, like me losing the hair tie? Choices are made for us. Typical, huh? Just when I really wanted my hair tied back.

Anyway, this week’s opening quote was especially picked out for Virgo and the beginning of the Virgo birthdays. Enjoy!


Mercury, as a planet tends to be a bit splashy. I’d like to think about Mercury as the loud talker on a mobile phone, some crowded place, probably a public space. “Yackity-yack, then she did WHAT! ON NO SHE DIDN’T!” Got a good image of the way Mercury usually is? Now, let’s look at what’s happening as Mercury enters Libra, sets a tone for the rest of the weeks to come….

This is a stealthy Mercury. Not a loud one. This is a quiet and pensive Mr. Mercury with an air about him wherein he looks quizzical, yet doesn’t say a thing. I can’t do it, but a single arched eyebrow, that speaks volumes where no noise is emitted. There’s a time to rejoice, fill the world with a glad noise. This is time to quietly smile. Speaks louder than any words. Quiet. Yes, Mercury is revving up the communication thing for Libra, but quiet, yet.


“Anything but aesthetics.” That’s a strong guideline for my Scorpio friends. One Scorpio enemy, too, just to show that I bare no ill will. The suggestion is simple, too, “Anything but aesthetics.” This is a good time for many different pursuits, like pursuit of fame, pursuit of glory, pursuit of love, chasing the almighty dollar, all of that. All good. Anything but aesthetics. There’s an extra dose of energy, not an even flow, but a jerky, spastic kind of energy, and that is the reason for the motivation. Pursuit of anything, the tenacious Scorpio that you are, the target is in sight.

“Anything but aesthetics,” which, by my understanding, and I might be limited, this isn’t a good time to make choice about colors, design elements, and what to cut. Or what not to cut. If it’s a matter that involves taste? Might want to put that off. Otherwise? Tenacious Scorpio zeal, full speed ahead!


SagittariusI watched this with my own mother, so I know of what I speak. At one point in her life, she was insistent upon using “The good linen,” like place mats and cloth napkins, for meals at her house. When I’d visit her, she’d make an ornate ordeal out of insuring that I was aware that the place mats and the matching linen napkins were fine cloth, or whatever the big deal was.

The funny part, after using a napkin to wipe my mouth, clean up after a meal, and then, to sweep the crumbs off the place mat’s surface? I watched — horrified — as my mother careful placed all the napkins, soiled linen, back on their respective drawers for storage.

I never mentioned my observation, but my date at the time was shocked. As a Sagittarius, we must take little events like this in stride. We will observe an action that needs to be corrected. We can go back, later, and correct what needs to be corrected. Like, later that evening I just pulled the napkins out and placed them in the washing machine. Just doing my bit for my own Sagittarius sanity.


This is a good week for Capricorn bumper stickers. Slogans. Aphorisms that help you mind your own business. “Can’t fight city hall,” that was the first one. “There are two theories about arguing with a woman; neither one works.” That was the second. “Let it go.” Plenty of snappy, hopeful and happy bumper stickers to help ease the Capricorn pain, correct? There’s some sappy, snappy, happy — short — quote that works best for you. “Live and let live?” I’m not sure what it is, but there’s an epic Capricorn battle brewing, and this is a time to walk away. Not going to win the epic fight because it’s not the real problem. As for now, the actual issue is obfuscated by rhetoric, disinformation, and general (organic male bovine by-product). It’s as if you were trying to pick a fight with a brick wall. I’m not a Capricorn, so I know I won’t win. But as a Capricorn? You might think there’s a way to win this one, even though the facts clearly suggest otherwise. So, the idea? the concept for this week? Snappy, happy quote that means, “Back away from the fixed obstacle, save that fight for another day.”


Ask for help. That simple. It’s weird when I can reduce a whole week’s worth of strange, discomfiting, bizarre and outright outlandish behavior to a simple expression. Part of this Saturn (late in Scorpio), part of this Retrograde Venus (middle of Leo) with Mars (also in Leo) moving forward at a frantic pace. There are, really a few more suggestions, but the easiest solution? Ask for help. There’s an obstacle, a problem, an Aquarius “issue,” whatever that means, and all it needs is a little bit of non-Aquarius assistance to make this happen, to make this go away, or to make this better. Just need a little help from a non-Aquarius person. Simplest way to face this week? Don’t be all “Lone Wolf Aquarius” and decide you can just do this yourself. Ask for for help.


PiscesCouple of items add to the chaotic and somewhat, for lack of better term? Weirdness quotient lose upon the Pisces life. After so much time in Austin, weirdness quotient doesn’t have any effect on me. Seen it all, and that’s not a challenge to come up with something so weird I haven’t seen it yet, no, not a challenge at all. This more like a warning. Roll with the effect of the tides of time and the push/pull of the planets. There’s a strange, stranger than usual, energy that is making it hard for Pisces to see clearly. So when, this is what happened to me, when I couldn’t see clearly? I went fishing. Not in a metaphoric sense, but in the real world. Grabbed a fishing pole, two to be precise, and the little lakeside tackle box, and I headed on over to the pond. It’s not much more than a cooling pool for a power generation station, but as such, it is a local watering hole, and I can fish. Maybe not great fishing, and I’ve not caught a lot there, but still, confused? Things are weird? Bug out. Me? It’s easy when this happens, I go fish, not metaphorically, but for real. Or for reels. Take some kind of action. Feeling lost, befuddled, bemused? Take one kind of relatively safe action. What’s the very worst thing that could happen? fish would be biting. How’s that a problem? That’s how to deal with the extra-weird stuff going on. Fish. Or whatever you do that is like that.


I listened while a buddy was talking about how he gets cornered, then folks dump all kinds of work-related questions on him — when he’s clearly not at work. “I was in Costco, lady corners me with her cart, sort of pushed me back in corner, asking about legal ramification on a topic I know nothing about.”

What is his stock answer? “It’s a difficult problem, for sure.” In other words? Sympathy but no clear answer.

No “yes/no” answer to help. Could be the person accosting my buddy, could be that person is totally wrong. Could be the point is valid but mistaken. Could be my buddy was just trying to pick up a box of wine to help him forget a long week, and people who hound him with inane questions. The clue, for Aries, though, the big clue?

Be engaged without getting engaged.

Like my buddy. “That’s a difficult problem.” Great answer, it shows sympathy without having to commit on the issue at hand.

“It’s a difficult problem.”


She was one of those voluptuous, rolling dark-haired beauties. White teeth smiling against ruby lipstick, against skin the color of coffee and cream. The heady scent of musk. Taurus, I asked. Dark eyes, smiling, against the heavy eye-liner that I fall prey to so often. She assured me, after handing me the menu, “The way to a man’s heart,” she tapped a spot over her chest, not to interfere, but did call attention to her coyly covered ample breast, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Her fingers lingered and slide down the front of the waitress uniform.

Regrettably, from what little I know about human behavior, the way to a typical male’s heart, the quickest, most direct route? Follow her fingers as she traced downwards. Most guys have a heart, located a little further south of their stomachs. Not passing judgement, just observing.

As a Taurus, how can you use this information? In the next few days, if you’re male, or like females, then you know to be aware that the seduction pieces might have started and she might be using food, as it’s supposed to work. If you’re female, or if you like males? Consider something more direct and less indirect, food is nice, but takes too long to get the message across. Be more direct. Less obfuscation, more like, “This is what I want, now.”

All she really wanted was a generous tip.

Gemini: geminiConfused? I think so. Not that any particular Gemini is ever really confused, it’s just that plethora of Gemini voices and trying to pick the correct voice out of the mix. Herein is our Gemini problem with confusion, as there’s no clear “Right” or “wrong,” not in this situation. There are merits for both sides, and that’s causing an internal Gemini conflict. The good Gemini in your head argues it’s “right” and the bad Gemini in your head argues that it’s “wrong.”

Confused? I’m an outside observer, and I’m in turmoil, just watching the emotions play across the Gemini face. Instead of picking “right” or “wrong,” is there a way to easily part this down the middle? Can’t seem to do that, not with this situation There’s someone, in the background, maybe in the foreground demanding an answer, trying to turn a very Gemini discussion into a binary decision.

Yes or no, what will it be?”

“Maybe?” It’s the best answer this week. Not a good time to commit. Well, not commit totally. For sure, not completely.


One of my little online buddies asked me for an article about something “New Age” for a website. Just filler, really, and I’ve done this before, a number of times. I offered a monthly piece about signs, like, I’d start by using this month, and write about some Virgo aspect. Not what he was looking for, so I just took a medium length piece out of my blog, and I polished it a little, like, took out some the links, ads and my usual, rambling material, just kind of tightened it up a little. Shot that over. Perfect. I didn’t write anything new, just re-purposed a favorite piece of prose, tidied it up for that re-purpose, not much more than a light copy edit, and I removed a colorful use of the language, plus a Shakespeare quotation. That was all.

Re-purposed, re-cycled, re-used.

This is a time when polish, like, polish up an older piece and reuse it elsewhere? Not a big deal, but this example was just such a perfect fit. As a Cancer Sun Sign, now isn’t the time to be doing a whole, new big deal. Find something, just re-purpose, reuse, recycle that older piece. With text on a computer, that’s super easy for me. Just copy and paste. Then a light copy edit. Read through it one last time, just to make sure it still flows with no swear words.

Recycle communication, rewrite a little, but not reinventing anything, not this week.

The Leo:

Mars and Venus are in collusion this week, for the majestic and wondrous Leo, The Leo. The deal is, there’s weird kind of Virgo, then Virgo and Pisces, then Virgo-Pisces-Sagittarius influence that pops up. While not bad, combined with the pesky “Venus in Retrograde,” there’s a unsettled, not bad, but unsettled energy. Month back, I was fishing and I had one of those rare days when I didn’t catch anything of note.

How does my fishing trip impact The Leo?


It’s an example of the kind of energy we’re all dealing with, but more specifically, energy that The Leo has to work with in order to move ahead. And instead of moving ahead? Maybe this is a time to move sideways, instead of a frontal attack. All about getting settled with Jupiter in Virgo, these days.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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  • TheLeo Aug 27, 2015 @ 14:21

    hey, where’s Leo?

    • Kramer Wetzel Aug 27, 2015 @ 16:15

      Got cut in the copy and paste. “Bad computer, you will be spanked!”

      All better now.