Ascend, fair queen, Pantheon. Lords, accompany
Your noble emperor and his lovely bride,
Sent by the heavens for prince saturnine,
Whose wisdom hath her fortune conquered.
There shall we consummate our spousal rites.

Saturnius in Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus I.i.337-340

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 10.29.2015

Scorpio:

“Day of the Dead, shop until you drop.” Maybe literally. The Dia de los Muertos is a big deal with local culture, and it stretches the Halloween holiday into three days or more. Culturally, as near as I can tell, its roots don’t go that far back, sort of an amalgam of native, indigenous, and imported Catholic cultures, mixed up into fresh-hell cocktail of grinning sugar skulls, remembering the ancestors. Between the Moon’s position and Mars/Venus (Jupiter, too) rising in the early morning hours, there’s an extra spooky appeal. The singular caution is just that, the Moon’s effect will begin to wash out some of the past, and what’s important is to make sure we all embrace that passed material.

As a Scorpio, this is a time to observe, embrace, and then? Let go. Happy birthday!

Nice how they put on an international holiday, just for this week’s Scorpio birthdays, huh.

Sagittarius:

“Ah, that’s sweet. I’m a Sagittarius, what does it mean for me?” Typical comment, I know, right? It was one of those new age astrology news pieces, “The Sun is in Scorpio, trines Neptune in Pisces, and that spreads love and light in the Universe. Your guides tell me to tell you that everything is going work out well…” My guides tell me that we’ve got a tough angle approaching, and as a Sagittarius myself? Let’s get ready.

Saturn is reality. Hard, cold reality. Neptune is illusion, deception, and the also the mystical. Great time to have spiritual revelations, but those come at the expense of some hard, diligent, perhaps not-very-Sagittarius-like hard work.

The work is less along the lines of ditch-digging, and more along the lines of hours spent in supplication towards some deity or belief system. For me, I trek five miles, in the hot autumn sun, this is South Texas, five miles, or more, to a little Catholic shrine where I light a candle and assume a prayerful position. I tend to repeat my mantra, to the Goddess, over and over, with this being an action item. The part about hard work? Five miles, on foot, hot sun, like a pilgrimage. Now, as a Sagittarius, you’ll have to insert your own way of working this out, with whatever it is you believe in. Prayer mat, yoga, supplication, and at least one of you? Hair shirt, and those whips the old school monks used to use. I found that almost comical, but that’s me. The revelations, the insight, the understanding of what this is all about? It’s the result of faith, works, and hard work. We’re being sorely tested these days. Part of the deal.

Capricorn:

“Stupidity” and “Money” are two of the strongest forces in nature. I’ve yet to see anything — or anyone — who can’t, eventually, be motivated by money. Might be a little, like me, or might be a lot, perhaps by the truck-full, but eventually, everyone/everything has a price. The other force, “Stupidity?” Just as strong, if not stronger, because, there are, on occasions, times when no amount of money can cure stupid mistakes. Of course, there’s the converse of that equation, wherein enough “Money” will make normally smart people do really “Stupid” actions. These are two, very powerful forces in the Capricorn life, at this moment. Do not confuse the two. It’s really easy for me to see a good Capricorn getting all stupid over a deal that looks like it might be a lot of money, and the opposite is true, too. I can easily see a Capricorn being rather stupid, this next few days, and that winds up costing a lot of money. Before we take any Capricorn action, ask, “Is it really worth it?”

Any money that I save you? Feel free to send my way. Even just 1% of the savings, I’d be grateful.

Aquarius:

“Print-on-demand” technology has improved greatly in the last few years. When I first started publishing my books, it was, at best, an expensive proposition. These days, much less, besides, I figure my material is really more suited for the e–book versions, as that’s the point of inception, for me. It’s where I started, online, and where I like it best, electronic distribution, because I’m dipped in “digital ink” more so that any other kind of printing.

As an Aquarius, you love the digital ink, as there’s a fluid dynamic to it, it flows, it shrinks, it grows, and it can be adjusted to fit your personal Aquarius viewing device. I got started on this sideways diversion about “print-on-demand” technology because a favorite Aquarius author had t-shirts and photo-books for sale, utilizing that very same technology. Always at the forefront, that’s my Aquarius. I spent half an hour or more, pursuing what my buddy had for sale. I didn’t buy a thing, but I was happy, just looking. Given where the planets are? Given the Aquarius urges? Consider looking. Maybe not buying, unless, of course, it’s a digital product that costs less than a dollar or two. The difference, prompted by that Aquarius author? The difference is between “shopping” and “buying.” Hint: it’s “print-on-demand,” we can always come back later, if you really want one.

Pisces:

We all have deadbeat clients. Or I have a few, not many, as they get weeded out. This isn’t really about deadbeat clients, or deadbeat ex-spouses, although that was my first inspiration, no this is about poor Pisces, and have you had enough? Had enough of the frustration of trying extract a payment from some of those kinds? Had enough pain, perhaps a shortage of available resources for yourself because some deadbeat doesn’t pay? Tired enough yet? Have you suffered enough? When do you stick a fork in it and call it done? How about now?

One of my regulars popped up, and he would gladly pay me next Tuesday for a reading today. “No pay, no play,” my friend, as I’m owed for three previous questions, now. Part of me wants to help, part of me believes in charity, and part of me is tired of being much used by the same characters.

As a Pisces, think about this, just put a price on it. “Pay to play; no pay, no play,” simple as that. You’ll be surprised how that weeds out the ones you’re tired of.

Aries:

As a frequent, most frequently as a pedestrian, I get to observe “car culture” from the sidewalk. I was passing a busy intersection with a long line of cars backed up. At the crossroads, there was a local sheriff. He was directing traffic. There were two choices, left or right. He was gesticulating, indicating, occasionally blowing his whistle, but the situation wasn’t changing. The road ahead was blocked. Two choices, left or right.

No one was getting to go straight, there was something blocking the way, and what amused me the most?

Driver pulls up, looks at the sheriff, then that driver points forward. Sheriff shakes his head, “No!” Driver emphatically points. Sheriff whistles, then points left, or right, not straight. The driver started to inch forward and the sheriff was getting upset, it was obvious that there would no motion forward, and the driver wasn’t getting it. The road ahead was blocked.

Either left or right. Driver wanted to argue with the sheriff, and I didn’t wait around to see what happened next. As an Aries, you know that you need to go straight. As an outside observer, and fan of all things Aries? I’m just suggesting that you do as the cop, or sheriff, in this case, was pointing.

Doesn’t pay to argue with the sheriff. He wins, every time.

Taurus:

One of my buddies is originally from Africa. Never mind, raised here, of American parents, etc. No, never mind any of that, just, by virtue of birth, born in Africa. “It’s a great excuse, “I just tell them, ‘I’m African,’ can get away with anything like that.” Because I do birth charts, as a starting point for any reading, I tend to ask, “Where were you born?” As much for a time zone association, as much as anything. When I got that African birth place, it sort of threw me a little. As we became friendly, though, I got to where I liked that excuse, “From Africa, you know, different…” Imagine me twirling a finger at my temple, to indicate crazy. Not really a crazy person, about as American as any of us, just happened to be born elsewhere. As an excuse, though, it’s almost as good as mine, “I’m from Austin,” which tends to be followed by, “that’s why he’s weird.” Way this week works out? You need a handy, palpable excuse that is universally recognized. Something that means it’s OK if you’re one step off. I tend to think you’re going to be a little bit of ahead of everyone else, but that’s my take, and remember? From Austin?

“Guy’s a little weird, you know.”

One step ahead of the rest, that’s all, dear Taurus, one step ahead.

Gemini:

There is a certain internal pressure from Gemini, a certain internal pressure that demands more from your Gemini selves. Internal, can’t do anything with it. It’s in there, it’s from within yourself. Own worst critic? Sure. Own worst enemy? Same idea, but I don’t like those words. Own worst “frenemy?” Sure closer, still, that doesn’t quite convey the image I’ve got.

It’s like your channeling an inner-Virgo. The perfect critic. The only one who knows, on the inside, what’s a sore spot, what’s a hot spot, and where words cut the deepest. Then, another side of the Gemini psyche starts in with that diatribe about you’re not tall enough, not thin enough, too thin, too tall, whatever the image is? Not enough, or too much of (something). I’m not sure what the secret loathing is, as I’m not a Gemini. Love them, love many of them, hold them all in high esteem, but no, I’m not one. It’s that internal voice that we’re trying to find a way to cope with its incessant nagging.

Personally, I’d find that voice’s mouth, and then I’d stuff a rag in it. Easiest way to shut it up for a few minutes. Won’t last long, as that mouth, it’s a Gemini mouthpiece, can work that gag out, possibly just chew through the restraints, but if you can get it to shut up for a few minutes? You’ll gain some much needed clarity.

It’s that nagging, inner voice. No one else can hear it.

Cancer:

I live in Texas. Home of fried food. While we might not have invented the art form, if it can be fried, battered and deep-fried? Someone in Texas has probably tried it already. Again, to reiterate, we might not have invented this as an art form, but from my casual observations at the State Fair and numerous local events? Yes, we are better at it than most.

My local favorite was deep-fried bacon, bacon that was “twice fried,” as in it was cooked, then battered and cooked again. I had some, a novelty item, but more as a novelty than anything else. Wasn’t really that good, at least, not to me.

Remember: I like bacon, usually.

The winner, locally, again for me? Deep fried jalapeño peppers. Little slices of the hot, piquant jalapeño slices, lightly battered and cooked within an inch of their little lives. Sort of like little, hot chips. Interesting taste sensation. This week’s message requires a little Cancer experimentation. I’m not sure what it is that needs to be addressed, but my favorite way? Head on down to the midway or the local halloween carnival, and see what they have that’s fried. Maybe this is a time to come up with some of your own treats. Have you ever tried fried ice cream? It’s matter of finding the correct way to present your Cancer material, and, personally, I think fried, battered and deep fried? I think that would work, adjust as need be, but remember, it’s about how you present whatever it is that needs to be presented.

The (mighty) Leo:

Turns out, the garage is one of the worst places in the world to store stuff. Who knew? See, it’s about the fluctuations of temperature, and, at least locally, the variation in humidity. Dry summer, wet fall, dry and cold winter, then a warm and wet spring, then the searing heat of summer again, and suddenly, that stuff stored out there? It’s been baked and frozen too many times. About the only thing that I store, anymore, is a series books I’m unwilling to part with yet has lost favor with the indoor bookshelf. Into the garage, in boxes.

Over the last year, bugs got to some of the boxes, and they tend to look a little worm-eaten or moth-eaten, something, kind of beat up. Herein is our dilemma, just toss that? In my case, I kept hoping I would find a suitable place for those books. So far, nothing.

As the majestic Leo, what’s the most correct course for you to follow? For right now? I’d pop that stuff, although the garage is the worst place, I’d pop that stuff out in the garage for now. It might be the worst place, but are you really ready to let go of that material? Might need it in the future. Maybe.

To the vagaries of the garage, it goes.

Virgo:

This usually goes better if we fix the problem then assess who is to blame.

That’s the short version.

The longer version is that there is still a pernicious little issue tickling the Virgo conscious, “I need to fix this crap, this isn’t my fault” and the easiest way through this week? Fix it. Band-aid, duck tape, bailing wire, whatever works. Used to be, a coat-hanger would do the trick, but recently, I watched as two want-to-be hoodlums were totally missing it, trying to use a coat-hanger to open up a car. So much for ‘street-wise’ thugs. Hooligans without a clue. The newer cars, all that gets bent from opening a door like that is the rubber seals, the door doesn’t get opened, really does require a pop-a-lock expert. Or? Don’t lock the keys in the car, in the first place. But this isn’t about what I saw on the street that amused me greatly, this is about fixing the problem, first, then fixing the blame. In that order. As a Virgo, you would really like to address the underlying problems to the problem, find the root of the issue. Here’s a suggestion: fix the leak then figure out, when you’re back on dry land, how the hole got into the boat’s hull.

As a good Virgo? Fix the problem, then we can figure out what caused the issue, in the first place. Fix then assess.

Libra:

Where were you ten years ago? 12 years passed? What was going on then? There’s a cycle, basically a 12-year cycle, and it’s getting punctuated, even now, maybe a year ahead of time. The problem being, these are the “dark days,” and no Libra likes the term, “The Dark Days,” as that implies a foreboding, and “No good will come of this.” Not what this is about. It’s time for a moment’s reverie and reflections. Taking time to stop and listen, rather than jumping on the first idea that runs out of town?

Fishing analogy. We were fishing in one spot, on a lake, little lake, more a giant pond than a lake, and my buddy wanted to shift positions, like, “Try the other side of the lake.”

Along the shoreline a longneck, looked a like a Great Blue Heron was stalking prey in the shallows. “Wait,” my only suggestion. The bird eats little fish and bigger fish eat little fish, and my buddy, heart wasn’t in it, but he was tossing a Rattle-Trap, he gave it another heave, right at that bird. Dragging the lure back in, his rod suddenly bent over, with a game-changer of a fish.

I look for clues, like the big shore bird, wading and feeding nearby. When I say “Listen,” that can mean looking, too. There’s a clue to this ten-year, 12-year cycle. Listen and catch the good stuff, a little early.