Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.10.2015

    “Either thou art most ignorant by age
    Or thou wert born a fool.”
    Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale (II.i.173-4)

    Leontes is addressing Antigones who suspects infidelity.

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.10.2015

Sagittarius:

SagittariusEarly morning meeting downtown, so I had TexMex for breakfast. Noon was rushed, so I grabbed some quick tacos, TexMex again. Finally, supper was late, but my date desired some local comfort food, so it was TexMex for dinner. Three times in a day. Is TexMex cuisine, is there something wrong with having it three times in a single day?

Considering where I live, no, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with TexMex, three times in a single day. I just have to make sure, all of us, have to make sure we get some exercise to work off that extra load of food. I know, it’s sort of like Holiday Calories, and those don’t count.

Three times in a single day, for Sagittarius? Nothing bad.

Capricorn:

“Dude, I can’t help you, I’m on my man period.” Actual excuse from one of my buddies. While some research does exist that proves males, especially of a certain age, some of us are prone to circadian, monthly, moon-inspired cycle? However, to co-opt that from a female who has suffered? Really bad move.

That’s the single problem with co-opting that line. You’ve been warned. Besides, this is really a more Lunar inspired lull rather than a real down-time. This is hesitancy, not inaction. This is a minor headache, not the migraine that stops some folks cold. This is a small amount of time that is best spent with some introspection rather than complaining about an ailment that might — or might not — be real. It’s also a word of caution, more for males, about tying to takeover a matter that we really have no first hand experience with.

Capricorn: don’t even think about it.

Aquarius:

AquariusI’ve had so many electrical devices over the years, I’m unsure if I can function in a strictly analog world. For a while I used to figure mileage on paper gas receipts, just as a way to try and keep my mind sharp. Doesn’t always work. I might not be as sharp as I once was, but that hasn’t stopped me from veering into the world of analog as a way to break the digital monotony. These are brief examples of how I try to maintain some semblance of touch with outdated, outmoded methods for figuring and keeping the brain sharp.

This week’s Aquarius energy? It’s accompanied with the “Dead Battery Syndrome.” I keep cables, and chargers handy, and these days? Electrical charging stations seem to be everywhere. However, there’s always that one time, you look down, and the Aquarius Tablet, Phone, laptop, or even the truck, it makes that “Click, click” followed by silence. Or followed by a dark screen. Or, most commonly, a dark screen with a single image of a dead battery, in the red zone.

Two cures: buy batteries, keep a charger handy. Or, better yet? Figure this is a cue to look at analog methods of answering those questions you had.

Pisces:

The line for the song starts out, “Mother mother ocean, after all the years, I’ve found my occupational hazard being, my occupation’s just not around.” It’s a sad lament about the good, old days, and how the modern times just don’t compare. Living in the past, are we? As a Pisces, the dream world, the land of the past, present and future, as it all collides? Sure, that works for some. But as a way to function? There are certain challenges with living in the dream world. The real world occasionally bumps its way into our Pisces reverie.

Real world and hard, cold facts are part of this week’s message. Listen to the real world. Look at the facts. Maybe make an effort to operate within the bounds of accepted, earthly laws, not just heavenly laws. The cosmic worldview is good, but there’s a time when, at least a little, attention needs to be paid to the real avenues, under our Pisces feet.

Aries:

AriesOne of my favorite Xmas holiday images was an inflatable Santa, on a local rooftop, with tropical Palm trees a clear backdrop. Doesn’t hurt that I was in shorts, at the time, or that it was mid-December, this is one of those seasonal aberrations that are more common than not, in my world. It’s the juxtaposition of a cold, northern-tinged holiday mixed with local conditions.

It’s that very — to me — iconic image that represents what’s happening with Aries. Hot. Cold. Hot. Holidays, and the resulting madness? Everything for Aries runs hot and cold at the same time. Best to embrace the snowman and the tropical Palm trees? Realize that it’s part of the holiday, and that’s just the way it is now. While this a planetary influence, I’m inclined to blame the holidays for the Aries consternation.

Taurus:

“It’s a true story, you know.” Whenever I hear that expression? I immediately get worried. Several of my fishing buddies are prone to elaborate — or otherwise, stretch, bend, edit — the truth. In that world? The truth is a highly malleable medium. The term, “Etched in stone,” is more like “written in chalk,” and can be amended as need be, for the sake of the discussion.

“True story, no lie,” is another version of the line. Still carries the same warnings, and for Taurus, this warning is twofold: I know, holidays and all, but 1. When you hear the expression or something like it? You know it might not be factual. And 2? If you’re telling stories, include that disclaimer so we know.

Happy holidays?

Gemini:

My parents travelled with me when I was very young. Not exactly jet set, but familiar with the rigors and problems. In business, I’ve travelled a lot, too. I marvel at adults with tiny children in tow. I smile a wan smile, wish them well, and I’m a little afraid to offer too much assistance because it might be mistaken. I have no idea how my own parents managed, either, as my sister is a precocious Gemini, fiddling and meddling with everything, and probably a good reason to use a leash on a child.

Very few people can stand the rigors of travel with a child, or children, and during the last holiday trip, I watched as single mom horsed three young sons along. Patience and attention that I could never manage, myself. There is a Gemini task, this week, like trying to wrangle children on a travel schedule. It will take all of your Gemini skills to make this happen. Use them. It’s worse than “Herding cats.”

Happy holidays?

Cancer:

Got this one girlfriend, and she looks absolutely stunning in sweaters. Part of it is age, part of it is form, part is style, and part is the smile from it being the holiday season. There are possibly giant forces that oppose my dear Cancer friends. Holidays are sometimes associated with crushing Cancer defeat. Fighting those opposing forces yields nothing of tangible benefit for Cancer.

Pause, before you take arms against an insurmountable foe, pause, and think about my friend in her sweater. Sweaters. There’s a kind of xmas gift wrap you can put on, put on yourself, put on an object, or put on the situation. Like the opposing forces? Wrap it in something pretty. Like xmas sweaters, or whatever seems to work.

The (mighty) Leo:

How do you define “Success?” Not like the dictionary definition, no, that’s not what we’re driving at here, not what the books say, no, not that definition. For years, I defined success as days without shoes or shirts. It’s winter, even in South Texas, so that definition might not work. Besides, that’s my definition, and the majestic Leo has a different set of values.

So how do you define, “Success?”

It’s about the internal markers, not external objects, cars, planes, for some, cash, jewelry, no, not the eternal marks of success, what this is about are the internal mileposts. The majestic Leo needs outside validation, but as the holidays get headed toward the feeding frenzied pace, stop long enough to figure out what are the internal guides that mark your Leo success.

Virgo:

You Virgo, you love me, right? More so now than ever before, am I right or what? One Virgo buddy, in the background, he’s going to mutter, loud stage whisper, “Right, ‘or what?’ Mocking me.” The holidays bring out the best and the worst. The trick is to emphasize the best, and leaving the worst at the front door, ignoring it.

Except for my one buddy, “Or what?”

Jupiter means good stuff, while Neptune is causing some disillusionment. Good? Bad? Indifferent? Go with the good, except for my one buddy.

“Or what?”

Any Virgo is welcome to suck on the lemons of life, but the rest of us are leaving that at the front door.

“Or what?”

Libra:

I refuse to complain. It’s not getting me any anywhere, the complaints, and I start to look like a cranky old man. Which is a goal in life, but one I’m not quite ready for, at least, not yet. I may be cranky at times, but I’m not going to complain about this.

My dearly departed father, Libra, used to tell me that “old age isn’t for sissies!” I understand that, now. But I’m not going to complain.

I got into a contest with a customer service rep., and I was losing. I found the only way to make progress was to complain, loud, long, and without remorse. I looked like a cranky old man.

In my example, the complaints were eventually answered, and the situation was eventually resolved in my favor, but it took some serious effort, and now? I’m looking like a cranky old man. No Libra wants to look like me. Maybe find a work around instead of complaining.

Scorpio:

ScorpioJust about every year, at this time, I’ve got an old family photograph that circulates. It’s Sister, when she was but a wee lass, and she is sitting on a Santa Claus, best guess is a department store, back in a certain era, when kids would pose, and the Santa players were nice. I recall one who was stinking of cheap bourbon, but that’s another story, best left for other venues.

That one image is a child, with child-like innocence and wonder in her eyes. Then, too, it’s one of those Xmas-flavored cards, with holly, bright red ribbons, and the hint of a gauzy finish to the image. I just have a scan, no paper copy available. Not that it matters, it’s just an image. However, that single image captures the essence of the Scorpio week: the dark green holly leaves, the bright red ribbons, and the gauzy, snowy finish to the edges of everything. Sentimental is a OK, even encouraged. Visit Xmas Past to get ready for the new year, which, just a few weeks away, is around the next Scorpio corner.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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