By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found you.

Jacques in Shakespeare’s As You Like It (3.2.155)

Horoscopes starting 1.21.2016

Aquarius:

Old joke, been around as a tag line and “bumper sticker” for years?

“A clean desk is a sign of a deranged mind.”

My one buddy, works for the State of Texas, yes, his office at work? Two of the walls are covered with notes, printed images, old memorandums, and other accoutrements, evidence, like geological evidence that’s piled up over years. His desk top, not usually visible underneath an avalanche of papers, proposals, and projects? It’s — for me — almost a nightmare. I looked at my relatively clear desk, and I realized, though, I have the encroaching drift of similar material. Stuff creeps in, junk piles up, and items land on the desk. Work space, whatever (wherever) it is? The Aquarius desk top? There needs to be a clearing. With this full moon, there’s a temptation to make this a clear-cut, scorched-earth, sweep all the projects into the dumpster and start over again, kind of energy. Tempting, no?

That might not be the best use of the lunar cycle, the “Throw it all away and start from scratch” notion. Consider pruning and shifting, instead of wholesale slaughter.

Pisces

With the shifting currents of the inter webs, it’s always hard to pinpoint the next, latest, greatest trend. What’s hot, what’s not, what was hot and is now considered droll or even too passé? Whims shift quicker than Texas weather.

The trick is to harness some of this shifting sentimental energy, and let it settle, just for a moment. The wind seems to be whipping around and then, it starts to settle into a faint, steady breeze, not more than whisper, in a particular direction. It’s a matter of waiting long enough for that breeze to settle. Instead of embracing this week’s fad, today’s “Latest and greatest,” the directional indicator for the nano-second of public opinion? Instead of grabbing onto just the next “great idea?” Pause long enough to let that breeze settle. Wait for it slow down enough to pick a single direction that makes more sense. It might take a few days for this to settle, but once the Pisces zephyrs start indicating a single, steady direction? That’s when we launch into the new deal. So there are two suggestions, wait, and then pick a direction, or pause long enough for the real direction to become apparent.

Or, you can imitate me, and you can just wander around perpetually lost.

Aries

The article, I was in line at the grocery store, the article’s teaser title?

“Why women date down.”

I’m pretty sure that appeals to just about every female I know, at least anyone above the legal age. There’s a substantial amount of snickering from certain groups, implying that seeing me was “dating down.” I’m not one to disagree about that. Still, as this relates to Aries, as Mars courses his way through Scorpio, the question is about the “Aries dating down.” I’d shift that verb from “dating” to the most appropriate verb for Aries for this moment, whether that’s “dating,” or some other action-oriented phrase. Why do Aries seem to select to the best of the worst, instead of otherwise? Here’s the idea, I teased this out from Mercury and Mars, how about going for the second or third choice, instead of the very first impulse that catches the Aries attention?

Instead of rambling on and on with pointless self-help, though, this is about the points that Aries use as measuring sticks. Just because a peer suggests that it’s “dating down,” in your own, Aries mind is that the real case?

Taurus

Have to ask yourself, my Taurus dear, how much are you the master of your own destiny? It’s a matter of whether or not you want to be in charge of what direction this material takes over the course of the next week. My suggestion is that you consider yourself back in charge of your own Taurus destiny and you’re not going to take orders from anyone. It’s simple, really, as Mars opposes you, the trick is to harness this energy in an effective manner. If there is a situation or problem that you’re not entirely comfortable with, the trick i to correct it, now. Gently. No force. No using a hammer, no matter how emotionally satisfying that might be, no, no force. A quiet, sincere direction change works more efficiently than anything else. The opposition, be it from Mars or other, outside figures? How do you handle this? The first reaction — Mars does this — tends to be anger. The next step is to not react. Or if react, to do so in private. Out of sight. Away from prying, pubic eyes. Finally, the next right step? That’s up to the individual and the time, but like I’ve suggested, be in charge of your own destiny. Don’t let anyone — or the planets — push Taurus around.

Gemini

I’ve watched as the “internet” has shifted its course. Originally, it was purely a textual medium, written words. Gradually, the medium has shifted to be as visual as it is textual. Text still matters, and as a writer, that’s the way I think, in terms of text. Still, there’s a visual component to the growing and expanding inter-webs.

These days, it’s picture friendly. Then, too, there’s a technical side of this, one I have to pay partial attention to, and that has to do with “image format.” There were a couple of different best image formats, over the years these have evolved. What used to be a tiny picture has gotten larger and larger, while the formatted size, the digital footprint, is getting smaller. As the new year started out, I was reminded, as last year’s “best image format” is old news and the web has shifted again, and I’ll be using a different format. Different size, better compression, whiter whites, brighter colors, all better. More “high-def.” As this Mercury Retrograde fades, shift formats. Be willing to shift the way you work for what is “new,” “better,” or just more commonplace these days.

Another way to think about this example? Adhere to the new standards.

Cancer

This week’s planet mix reminds me of “Dodge Ball.” Big, red rubber ball, almost painful when it impacted young flesh, and the way this one plays out? It’s like ducking and dodging, perhaps a bit of wobble and weave, trying to avoid the flying and flaying stuff. If it hits? Shouldn’t be to painful, but that’s an estimation from someone who was light on his feet, but still a frequent target. I’m fairly adapt at dodging summons, ex-girlfriends, and that big, red rubber ball that’s being hurled at Cancer right now.

Follow my lead, follow my action, follow the erratic course that seems to be highly unpredictable. Being erratic and unpredictable makes it harder for someone else’s “aim” to lead you, like figure, you’ll be in that position in a moment. Dodge. Duck. Weave. Wobble. Stay light and loose on the Cancer feet. The trick is, the way to avoid being caught up in the pressure of the moment’s impact? Be casually observant and watch where the material is being flung. Then? Then don’t stand in its way. Really simple a idea, but might need a little warning, like from me, to remind you to duck.

The Leo

I was looking for a single, kind of a weird connector part. It’s for a sound system. Links the computer to audio output, kind of thing. Weird little wire with a certain plug on one end and a similar plug on the other end. No big deal, right? I checked online, and the main store seems to have them in stock, so the local outlet should have them, correct? I took off part of an afternoon and headed over there, figuring it wouldn’t be a bad trip. Nice enough for a winter’s days in South Texas, not too cold.

I wandered into the big, super electronics store, and meandered around. Played with a computer keyboard, hefted some smart phones, which were probably just demo models so not a fair evaluation, and then, I asked about the weird connector thing. They didn’t have one in stock, at that location. However, at a location, halfway across town, there was one.

At this point, I’m three-quarters of the way into getting this done in an expedient manner. I realize, I could’ve just ordered one off the internet, but still, I wanted to eyeball the part to make sure it would work. So I was off on an adventure. Stopped and got a coffee. Life was ok, except some of the local drivers are kind of nutty. Where is this going?

I got the part. Took a whole afternoon. I could easily have ordered it online, but that would take two days, and I wouldn’t have had a chance to poke around and look at stuff. Kind of important. If I got all caught up with the destination, instead of the journey? I’d make myself crazy. Destination, Leo? Or journey?

Hint: if it’s destination? Just order that crap off the inter-webs.

Virgo

Pick one. Can’t have them all. Pick one. As a mighty fine Virgo mind, you’ve got a number of options that seem to open up, and now? Pick one. Doesn’t matter. Just pick one.

“But I want them all!”

So do I, but the celestial guidelines suggest one, or, at least, one at a time. Pick one. “What if I pick the wrong one, Mercury was retrograde, you know.” Oh how I know. So the solution? Pick one. Might be the wrong one, which means, after trial and error, no Virgo likes error, but after trial and error? You can go back and pick another one. But to start with? Pick one. It’s that simple. This horoscope opens with a great deal of “mutable” pressure, which translates as problems and choices. Or choices and problems arising from the choices, same difference, right? However, the trick to make the plethora of decisions available? The trick is to pick one. Really a simple idea. Can be wrong, might be right, got to give me that one, and even if it’s not right? At least you picked just one.

The trick to make this weird-ass energy work?

Pick one.

Libra

There are times that require absolute decisions, like a firm hand on the tiller. Strong hand at the wheel. A master in control of the good Libra ship named “Destiny.” There are other times when that firm hand, the strong grip, the definite direction? There are times when this isn’t exactly required.

This is a time when the idea of a firm hand in control, steering the good craft Libra, this is a time when you’d like to know that there is a particular direction is picked out, and you’re pursuing it. Maybe not so much. Great idea, love me some firm directional choices, but still, this might not be the correct time to rule with such authority.

One hint comes from the fallout of the last Mercurial time when things were so “crazy.” Instead of ruling with absolute authority? Maybe this is the time to seek a consensus vote. Cross party lines, reach across the aisle, insert a metaphor that works, but think about not asserting that you’re the only authority in this situation.

Scorpio

“Door is broken, please use other door.” It was sign in a window, front door of a store. I took it at face value and didn’t try that door. I’m not Scorpio. In a previous version of this story, different door, different location, different set-up? It was simple, I sat and watched as people would approach the door, look at the chains securing the door shut, then try to open it, before shrugging and seeking another entrance.

As a Scorpio, as a good Scorpio, you’re not inclined to believe everything that you read, like a sign in the window that says, “Door is broken,” so you’re going to try the door. You’re going to give it a tug, push on it, rattle the handle, something, anything. The expression I’ve heard?

“Trust but verify.”

Applied to the closed/broken door scenario? Yes, sign says the door won’t open, and that’s a door the Scorpio wants to go through, this week, doesn’t hurt to try it, see if it really is broken, or if someone fixed it, and just forgot to remove the sign. Door may be broken, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a shot, just to make sure. If it is broken, closed, locked, whatever? Use the other door. Seek another entrance, it will work.

Sagittarius

Dude. Grab a piece of paper and something to write with. Pen, pencil, my personal favorite this week is “sharpies.” Indelible, inexpensive, and plentiful in my world. I tend towards medium point that’s kind of smeared. The idea is to get a sheet of paper and write down three, no six, no, maybe, nine quick goals. Dreams. Ideas, concepts, tasks that need to be accomplished with our Sagittarius skills. Not charm, yes, usually we have great charm, but no, these are lists of quick, short-term goals. Goals, ideas, projects that require action. Maybe work. Maybe work with no sense of immediate reward other than, in the Sagittarius mind, a sense of satisfaction derived from knowing we crossed one or more items off that list we just wrote down.

There’s an ancillary version of this, one of my non-Sagittarius buddies? “I make a list of what I did, then cross them off, looks good. Feels like I got something done.”

Funny. But this isn’t about playing games like that. Short punch list, maybe as a daily habit, and at the end of the day? Torch the old list and start over the next day. It’s about setting up some short-term, internally rewarding goals and seeing those happen in a timely fashion.

Capricorn

“So weird, the other morning? I went to get my coffee cup off the bed of the truck, left it there yesterday after I got in from work, and it was frozen to the bed. Strangest thing, you know?”

In one sense, sure, it’s strange, I guess. Where my buddy lives, in West Texas, think “oil patch,” he gets freezing weather, off and on, maybe two months out of the year. So clear, cold night, warm days? Not unusual to work in a t-shirt in the day time, only to have the temps drop below freezing at night. A little less common in my backyard, but not unheard of, either. This is my world, and this is a real-world example of Mercury stuff coming “unstuck.” Not bad, not good, not anything, but as a comparison, it is an example of this week’s energy.

“Coffee cup was frozen to the bed of the truck.”

Coffee cup, go juice, fuel to keep this moving along? Frozen to the truck? Wasn’t difficult break it free, and for me, if it was me? I’d just pour fresh, hot coffee in, and that would free it up.

Mercury, no longer retrograde, but we’re not unstuck without a little help.