About astrofish.net

About astrofish.net

There is only one place
to get these horoscopes:

astrofish.net

As a fully independent writer and astrologer, lots of love, care, as well as blood, sweat, and maybe tears all gets poured into my work. Called many thing, these horoscopes are eerily accurate at times, weirdly prescient, or, occasionally, incomprehensible — if you enjoy what you read, please support my work. Sign-up here:

PayPal monthly | Stripe monthly

This site is completely reader-supported.

Harness the power of the stars to win at the game of life. Love them or hate them, sometimes in the same breath.

It’s a membership/subscription style. Members get perks. Paid subscribers have access to all sorts of extra stuff, like podcasts, digital library, and I tend to answer questions. Subscribe here:

The basic membership is $1 for the first month then $3.96 per month thereafter. No billing information is stored on site, so the transactions are safe. PayPal and Stripe are available.

PayPal monthly | Stripe monthly

Oracular Astrology | Clarity

These horoscopes combine years of observation and practical application of astronomy, under the guise of “Western” Astrology. Consider that I’ve studied several types of astrology, and I have a working knowledge of a handful esoteric schools of thought. Connect that with a genuine love for Shakespeare’s work and old-fashioned fishing, and there’s the hook.

There is the yearly subscription price. $45.00.

on Sale – 1 year: $40.00
On Sale via Stripe yearly | PayPal yearly

astrofish.net

Astrology, like this — like no other — the weekly column’s advice, it contains the secrets of the universe, and ways to make life more fulfilling, using those secrets. Amuse, amaze, and some days, just yank your chain, but maybe you needed that.

It’s a metaphyiscal lap dance — customized just for your sign, each week. Plus extras.

via Stripe yearly | PayPal yearly

PayPal monthly | Stripe monthly

In one form or another, these “horoscopes” started in 1987 and have been in continuous digital distribution since 1993. Without reader support, this cannot happen.

Cup of Jo

Cup of Jo

Privacy Policy … this site is for information only. Any information you provide this site, like your name, date of birth, time of birth and place of birth, your e-mail address, and so forth is considered strictly confidential and will not be shared with any one, nor will such information be bartered, loaned, given away or otherwise disseminated in any way, shape or form. It is solely for the operator of the website [me].

Astrofish.net will not be responsible for any damage done to your own computer, nor any data that gets corrupted, or if this site causes frogs to rain down from the sky.

Ubiquitous fine print … All astrological information provided is deemed reliable but is not guaranteed. Information on this web site may contain inaccuracies or typographical errors. Information may be changed or updated without notice. Astrofish.net will not share your private information with any company, foreign government, or police agency, even if we are threatened with arrest, torture, or karaoke. This web site does not constitute an offer or contract. Astrofish.net makes no representations whatsoever about other web sites which you may access through this one. Do not copy or reuse these materials without permission. All “to go” orders subject to a 50 cent upcharge. It is recommended that you read the README file before proceeding. We can’t be held responsible for your actions.

astrofish.net

The Old text

There’s only one place to get these horoscopes: ASTROFISH.NET.

I’m a full-time independent astrologer who works hard to bring quality readings and ideas, hopefully a little riot amongst your neural pathways, with these horoscopes. If you enjoy what you read here, please subscribe to show your support.

There are a couple levels of membership in the site astrofish.net. The best level — it’s a recurring monthly subscription, and bills every 30 days unless the process is interrupted by the buyer, the subscriber. Try it, the first month is $1 then $3.96 per month.

PayPal monthly | Stripe monthly

Stripe, if preferred
Members get instant e-mail access, and personal answers to questions when the messages aren’t clear. (Members also get an RSS feed.)

Oracular Astrology | Clarity | contact

$1 for the first 30 days then $3.96 per month after that…

Why Kramer and astrofish.net?

You’ve seen me in person. I moved you, enlightened, educated, or annoyed you. But you remember seeing me.

“You were always too busy.”

Tap me here.

PayPal monthly | Stripe monthly

Too much astrology sounds the same. Biggest problem, read enough online, and there’s the issue, last week’s Virgo is this week’s Capricorn. Boring. Not useful.

I started writing horoscopes because no one did them with a twist that I liked. I look back at older material, and there was a certain youthful “edge,” alas, no longer present. However, there’s still flow, and while I might not be getting any better, the true joy lies in the doing, and I keep working on improving my craft.

The Sales Pitch

Simply put, the astrofish.net horoscopes are my weekly attempt to make sense of the stars. The planets, really, and how to guide with what works best.

I’ve studied a variety of schools of astrology, and for the sake of simplicity, I keep the nomenclature and orientation “Western Tropical Zodiac.” While it is the most common, my studies include Western, Eastern, Meso-American (Mayan), Celtic, and Native American branches of the art.

Astrology is an art form that combines the science of astronomy with aspects of human behavior.

This is an attempt to make sense of it all.

Cup of Jo

Cup of Jo

There’s the yearly subscription price. $45.00.

on Sale – 1 year: $40.00
On Sale via Stripe

astrofish.net

Privacy Policy … this site is for information only. Any information you provide this site, like your name, date of birth, time of birth and place of birth, your e-mail address, and so forth is considered strictly confidential and will not be shared with any one, nor will such information be bartered, loaned, given away or otherwise disseminated in any way, shape or form. It is solely for the operator of the website [me].

Astrofish.net will not be responsible for any damage done to your own computer, nor any data that gets corrupted, or if this site causes frogs to rain down from the sky.

Ubiquitous fine print … Approved for septic tank use. All astrological information provided is deemed reliable but is not guaranteed. Information on this web site may contain inaccuracies or typographical errors. Information may be changed or updated without notice. Astrofish.net will not share your private information with any company, foreign government, or police agency, even if we are threatened with arrest, torture, or karaoke. This web site does not constitute an offer or contract. Astrofish.net makes no representations whatsoever about other web sites which you may access through this one. Do not copy or reuse these materials without permission. All of the text and graphics on astrofish.net are Copyright 2006 Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy on to disk, redistribute, attach e-mail, or post the graphics or text on any Web page, FTP site, news group, Intranet or mailing list. All “to go” orders subject to a 50 cent upcharge. It is recommended that you read the README file before proceeding. We can’t be held responsible for your actions. We are not acting in any way to send you this information; you are choosing to receive it!

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

Use of this site (you are here) is covered by all the terms as defined in the fineprint, reply via e-mail.

© 1993 – 2024 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c. astrofish.net: breaking horoscopes since 1993.

It’s simple, and free: subscribe here.

Next post:

Previous post: