You cloudy princes and heart-sorrowing peers
That bear this heavy mutual load of moan,
Now cheer each other in each other’s love.

Duke of Buckingham in
Shakespeare’s Richard III (II.ii.112-4)

Horoscopes starting 3.17.2016

Aries:

Many happy solar returns! That’s my astrology version of the usual, “Happy Birthday!” Officially, by my reckoning, the Sun moves into Aries at 10:30 PM, March 19, 2016. Or, to some? 2230 19.3.2016 — at this point? Let’s not worry about the details, too much. Mercury is moving swiftly, cosmic tag, which adds haste to the equation of the Aries birthday calculations. The problem is Mars, slowing down in Sagittarius, and Mr. Mars’ effect on Aries, in this condition? Military axiom, “Hurry up and wait.” Most of my friends with serious military time all conclude that it is a universal guideline. “Hurry up and wait.” More than one client has suggested that Aries energy can be, or appear to them, as characterized as “Attention Deficit” something. ADS? Sure. With Mars, and Saturn, in Sagittarius, as Mercury slides into Aries? “Hurry up and wait,” might be the best advice. I know you’ll fidget some, but it is your birthday time, either here or on approach. Again, the best advice? “Hurry up and wait.” There’s going to be some rather pointed and rather focused Aries energy before this week is over, but until we get there? “Hurry up and wait,” or find something to occupy yourself before we get the big deal.

Taurus:

More common than I would like, I caught a complaint from a client — “The last time Mercury was retrograde, the wheels fell off!” The implication is that, this action, the purported “wheels falling off,” somehow, this is my fault. As a Taurus, you understand what I’m suggesting, right?

So this has nothing to do with a Retrograde Mercury, no this more along the lines of doom-sayers compared with me. The “wheels fell off,” not because I loosened any lug nut, or not because Mr. Mercury loosened the nuts, no, that’s not how this played out. This is about how, against my suggestion, the person forgot to check the lug nuts which, in turn, resulted in the aforementioned “wheels falling off.” Did Mercury cause that? Possibly. Retrograde Mercury cause that? More than likely, in hasty moment, Mercury made that client to forget to check the tension on the wheels. As a professional, I get blamed for many actions that are clearly beyond my control. I’m used to it. What happens this week? As a Taurus, you forget to check something. As a reminder, as the planets shift in their prescribed orbits, remember to check that one thing.

Gemini:

It’s not like you’re not used to me talking about obstacles, while the more correct term would be “challenges,” to some of my Gemini clients, no, these look like obstacles. Some of them, though, are really, relatively, minor. Not as big a deal as you would make it out to be, but what good is it to have an obstacle if a Gemini doesn’t have a chance to worry it some, complain bitterly, and then, surprise us all by surmounting said obstacles, which, like I suggested, meant it was more of a challenge than obstacle.

This full moon, eclipse, though, comes at a point where it’s like a final punctuation point, not a hammer blow, just a seemingly punctuation point in the Gemini flow. Not bad. Not good. Not anything that you don’t make it out to be. I’d suggest, though, that you consider it a punctuation point, question mark? Or an exclamation mark! Or just a simple, full-stop. Period. A period marks the end of a sentence and as such the end of a thought. Not the end of the book, not the end of this Gemini chapter, but the end of some of these minor frustrations that have been annoying you.

Cancer:

At least one of you will interpret this all wrong. Sorry, in advance, when I offend you. I didn’t mean to. In my limited experiences in the kitchen, I’ve developed a taste for the less refined “Brown Sugar,” in place of the overly refined white sugar. There’s a “molasses” flavor that accompanies the brown sugar, and I find its texture easy to work with, as the brown sugar tends to be moist.

Any chance I get, I substitute brown sugar for the more, over-refined, bleached-out white stuff. It’s a simple substitution and yet, in my limited experience with cooking, it makes a huge difference in flavor. The texture, the “bottom of the sugar vat” essence, the nuanced flavors that carry various hints? All of that, just makes for a richer experience. I’ve found that the qualities and flavors change with each package, too, although, these days, I’m endeavoring to use much less raw sugar, at all. Still, as an agent for change, think about a simple recipe substitution in the Cancer playbook. Change out one ingredient for something that is the same, only different. Raw sugar for white sugar? Sure, that’s my example, and that was the idea behind this one. Yours might vary. If this was really cookbook astrology? I’d suggest that you change bleached, white flour for “whole grain” flour. Simple substitution to make this week taste better, flow better, and to get the most out of that full moon.

The Leo:

Children are mimics. I suppose there’s a theory about that’s how they learn, not without some substantiated, institutionalized evidence, I’m sure. The kids mimic what they see; frequently, they also mimc exactly what they hear. I tend to make an effort not to cuss around my one fishing buddy’s kids. For that very reason. As The Leo, we tend to hold you to slightly higher standard.

As The Leo, we (the Lesser 11) tend to consider you a mighty paragon of virtue. While you and I have no problems seeing you live up to this “slightly better than everyone else” billing, some folks don’t get it. Consider, then, that I was talking about what kind of mimics little kids are, and how that applies to the more saintly Leo, who is more saintly, more holy, more “something” than anyone else. Consider, too, that the kids are the downfall of the high and mighty. “Uncle Kramer said it was OK!” That quick. I’m using this as both a warning and vote of moral support for Leo, The Leo. Careful with words and deeds, little ears tend to repeat everything, just exactly as you said it.

Virgo:

Ask. Ask for help.

“Why? I’ve done this before, I can handle it.”

When you fall flat, can’t say I didn’t suggest you ask for help. It’s very simple, ask. Ask for assistance, even though, in the past? You’ve been able to handle this yourself. Someone shows up, and says, “Here, Virgo, let me help you?” The first correct answer from my little Virgo friends?

“OK!”

Or, maybe, “Thanks! Sure!”

I’ve got more than one Virgo-type who has a hard time asking for assistance, even when it’s obvious that it should happen. Help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. My preferred way to deliver the plea? “I’m sure I can get this, but if you could just give me a little push here, it would be really nice.” I’m sure you feel like you can get it on your own, but a little help never hurt.

Ask. Ask for assistance if you’re befuddled. Venus/Neptune in Pisces? I’m sure you’re befuddled about a particular piece of the Virgo puzzle.

Libra:

Sounds like my fineprint, “No lifeguard on duty, swim at your own risk.” I might have in there, I haven’t checked lately, but it’s also a bit of advice for that’s about to unfold in the land of Libra. There’s a simple warning, or really a bad one, but if this Libra plan goes south? If some part of this doesn’t work out, we’ve got no one to blame but our Libra selves.

That being duly noted, let’s move on as there’s a sudden shift that requires urgent action from Libra. Swift, decisive action. Yes or no. Fish? Cut bait. Nothing in between. I realize you can equivocate and dissemble with the best, but that’s not called for. There’s a 50/50 chance you’re wrong, but it doesn’t matter. Fish. Cut bait. Jump. Stay. Just remember? If you do jump in? There is no lifeguard on duty so you’ll have to figure out how not to drown.

Scorpio:

This is about where you choose to direct that beneficial Scorpio energy. It’s about how you choose to channel what’s going on, the planet energies present in your life, how you want to direct that energy. Energies, as there are several. It’s mostly well-meaning, well-intentioned energy. Trying to find the “most correct” way to express it, that shouldn’t be too much of a challenge. It’s finding the right combination of action, forethought, planning, preparation and then, maybe most important, execution. One buddy is burgeoning stand-up comic. The amount of effort that goes into learning how to time his jokes; he makes it look easy. Building the correct pause, working in the bridge phrases, all of that, it’s not nearly as easy as it looks. He doesn’t just stand there and talk, most of that, in his case, all of it, has been rehearsed. He’s looks like it’s all extemporaneous but, “A lot of work goes into making it look effortless.” As a Scorpio, pick and choose the way you want to employ this energy. Personally, I’d suggest, like my buddy, you rehearse what you’re going to say. Maybe try timing it.

Sagittarius:

Next week brings relief. This weekend is fraught with one, last perilous thought pattern. It rained, quite a bit, not long ago. I was stuck inside, and it was still too cool to go out, even though a little rain never really stopped me, it was just too wet, too chilly, and too ‘not inviting’ for me to venture forth. Didn’t have to be any one place, nothing I couldn’t take care of at home, diligently toiling away.

This next few days, get a few items in order. Sometimes, it is nothing more than straightening out a mess of computer wires and cables. In another situation, I had a buddy, he has two pieces of hardware on his desk, a tablet and a keyboard. He spent a few days trying to arrange that in the best way possible. I think it’s kind of a waste time, arranging desktop paraphernalia, but it works with this energy, next day or two. Soon as the Sun pops into Aries? Be ready to roll. Getting ready, right now? That’s the important part.

Capricorn:

I’m not a big fan of fad foods. I started cooking a lot, and being interested in nutrition from a “foodie” perspective, but that wasn’t much of a fad, as a gradual lifestyle change. In the good, old days, or “In the days of yore,” I would be considered a “perimeter” grocery shopper. Only problem with that? The grocery stores caught on that the foodie-types were doing the “perimeter” shopping and the stores moved it all around. The freshest produce was perimeter food. Not so much, not anymore.

They — the grocery stores — have caught onto our tricks. Or now that we’re aware of their tricks, they’ve changed some. So I’m not a fan of this week’s “super food,” whatever that may be. Not my thing. However, there’s a hint that, as a Capricorn, an adjustment to style of eating and shopping, or shopping and preparing, or dining out, there’s a need for a change. Used to shop “perimeter” food? Stalk the inner aisles. Used to only by processed food? Canned stuff? Consider then some fresh items. It’s about a single change that has reverberating effects on your quality of Capricorn life, and most of all, I’m about that — improving the Capricorn quality of life. Here’s the other idea? If it’s this week’s fad? You can look at it, but that doesn’t mean you have to embrace it, not yet. See if it’s a fad or not, let others experiment for you.

Aquarius:

Both of my grandfathers instilled a love of “pocket hardware,” in me, as in ubiquitous pocketknives. From a Boy Scout, five blade ultra-utilitarian model, to fancy folding hunters, and at least one sheath knife that is possibly the size of a Roman Infantry sword, I’ve collected them all. I spent many long years looking for the perfect combination of utility and ease of carry, function, and form, something that was comfortable enough to pare nails but strong enough to possibly clean small game. Not too large, and not too small.

I have yet to hit the perfect combination, but as a search, I narrowed it down to a few models, and for a while I was happy with just one style. Worked well enough. The one I carry most frequently now? It has a “high-carbon” blade, which means it holds an edge really well. The problem being, it stains. It is not “stainless,” which is too soft, or something. This one, it looks ugly but it gets the job done, and in some cases, I don’t have to sharpen it that often as it holds a good edge, perfect for what’s been its main task in the last year? Slicing open envelopes. Not much of a gig for cold steel, but it works and it works well. Besides, there’s an emotional attachment I have that stretches back to my forefathers, quite literally, about carrying — and using — a pocketknife. Learned or genetic? Doesn’t matter. I tend to have small blade with me, travel restriction withstanding, more as an emotional keepsake rather than any useful function. Same as my forefathers. Aquarius, I’m challenging to you to update some aspect of what was left by our familial roots, and to carry this forward, in a new way. You can get back to me on that.

Handmade Roman Gladius Sword

Pisces:

Breath in and breath out. Just breath. Slow, measured breaths. In and out. Calm down. “No, this is a big, hairy deal!” No, no it’s not such a big deal. “But it feels like it’s a huge failure (flop, injustice, what–ever). There’s a sense of confusion about priorities, and that’s the real source of our Piscean troubles.

Confusion about priorities.

I know, if I were toy and work on this long enough, I could get to the bottom of the problem. What is most important to Pisces, at this very moment? And what seems to be most important to Pisces? My simple suggestion, courtesy of mostly Neptune and Venus, but we can lay blame at the feet of just about any of the heavenly objects, I just figure that there’s a misguided, ultimately good, but still misguided set of Pisces priorities. Very simple problem to remedy. “Is it important, right now?” I know you’ll swear up and down that it is, but if you give it a tiny bit of Pisces meditative thought, you might find it’s not quite that important. Wait, I’m not conveying this correctly, it is important, but the action required is not mission critical. Consider that you might have your priorities in the wrong places, at this moment. This week, even. I’m hoping to prevent a situation where you think, next week, “Wow, I messed up, it wasn’t that important, this is.” Good chance that we’re just confused about priorities at the moment.