- The venom clamors of a jealous woman
Poisons more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.
- Amelia in Shakespeare’s
A Comedy of Errors, (V.i.69-70)
Horoscopes starting 3.24.2016
Aries:
The Ram
More action, less thinking about it.
- Have a most excellent, and well-deserved birthday time.
Taurus:
For years and years, I’ve tended to burn one of the “7-day” candles, as a token gesture towards the light. Part religious, maybe, part iconic, part habit, and part superstitious. I’m not even sure of the origins of the habit, dates back to college and a fateful event when the power went out, stuck all alone with a certain girlfriend, at the time. Candle power. Then, too, there’s the trick of inscribing a name or object of desire, a wish, on the candle, and letting that burn down. Putatively, it’s called candle magic, but I tend to see that as “Power of Positive Thinking,” as much as anything else.
I used to burn the candle on the stove-top, in a trailer. After that? Again, it’s sort of a “kitchen gods” kind of thing to me, as the kitchen will have a large, non-flammable surface. That’s where I would leave a candle going. Part of this is plain, old-fashioned superstition. Part of it, though, is about how direct a thought. As a Taurus, there needs to be a focal point for a coherent and steady thought pattern. If there was only some way to have a small light that reminded you to stay focused on that one thought? Maybe a nice 7-day candle? In a safe place? Over time you see the candle’s light, you remember that you’re supposed to stay on point with that Taurus thought process. Just an idea, as a nice candle helps keep the focus focused.
Gemini:
One of my buddies is down at the coast right now, a little fishing trip right after Spring Break. Before the summer madness hits full stride and after the spring breakers have trashed the beaches, sure, not a time I’d go, but that’s me. My phone was busy doing something, I think it was updating its system software or some task. Not sure what. Phone was busy doing whatever smart phones do, and he called. I missed the call, but I kind of ducked the call on purpose. He’s fishing, I’m working.
He’s having fun. He probably tied into school of big fish and wanted to gloat. Maybe it was a beach babe. I’m unsure of what the deal was. I’m not sure I want to know, either. Day before, he texted me pictures of fish. So, yeah, not sure I want to just chat. No message was left, so I don’t think I missed much. I avoided confusion, consternation, envy, possible ire, and maybe getting angry, I avoided all of that by just letting it roll to voice mail. As a Gemini, I know, missed communications are important. You’ll usually call back before you listen to the message. Might be a problem. My simple trick of letting it roll to voice mail? I can help save on the frustration package this next few days. It’s not just one thing, it’s a bunch. But voice mail and email go a long way to keep this crap from accumulating on you. Duck the calls.
Cancer:
I spend a lot of my professional time helping folks become comfortable with what has happened by linking astrological transits to actions in the past. Typically, one of my first questions will be, “What happened when?” With me giving some kind of timeline, based on observed astrological phenomena. The biggest challenge, for Cancer, in the next few weeks, as we start a new pattern? There’s a point where review is necessary. To me, this look like work related review. A simple procedure I’ve found helpful? Time to update the resume, the CV, the online bio, any, or all, of that needs to be attended to. It’s about looking backwards to plot a trajectory forward. The trap? Dwelling in the past. The allure of “Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve” is powerful. The voices, especially given this array of planets? The allure is there to dwell in the maudlin past, with possible, better, reactions than before. Review, but keep moving forward, why I thought the resume, CV or even just the online (auto) biography would be the place to start. Keep moving forward.
The Leo:
One professor, this goes way back in time, but one Literature Professor assured the class that there were no new plot lines, never again. According to that one guy, there only about 7 basic stories, and that the way the story was told, the way the words were strung together, that was what made a difference, but all in all, only a total of seven plots are available. Everything else is just variations on theme. I’m not sure how accurate that is as over the years, I’ve heard some pretty good tales. When I first started to study Shakespeare, there were only 36 plays that was part of the canon. Scholarship has been expanded to include 40, and there’s still one, lost play, Cardino.
That canon is a source for more than just seven plot lines, although, it could be argued that some are similar. As a Leo, there’s really only one story you’re trying to tell. As The Leo, there’s only one really important tale, yours. As The Leo, someone will suggest, “We’ve heard this before.” Review your notes. Time to take another run at that bit about “Telling your story.”
The Leo story tends to be more compelling.
Virgo:
There were three of us in a bass boat. Idle chatter. One of the guys is a plumber, and he’s not known for his best taste in matters that don’t involve PVC pipe leading away from a drainage connection. One of the guys was talking about a new “female intrigue” he’d recently met. I asked how hot. “She’s not, like ‘news anchor’ hot, but she’s more than ‘bank teller’ hot.” It was a totally new method of rating hotness. Never thought about it, but as far as that one guy is concerned? He’s quite smitten. She’s nice; he’s happy; all’s well, now. My plumber fishing buddy, I was asking about the rating system, and he piped in with one other for that scale.
“Waffle House Hot.”
I questioned, my buddy laughed, and the plumber replied, “See, it’s like this, at 2 AM, at the Waffle House, under the fluorescent lights? Maybe she’s got sleeves with ink showing through her skankie T-shirt, you know? That’s Waffle House HOT.” I had a slightly different definition, and I’m not from the same part of the country where that plumber originated, but I’ll give him credit, he did invent a new level. There’s a problem with any definition, though, if this gets back to the WaGs? Depending on how we answer the questions, our lives can be made miserable. (Wives and Girlfriends). So I’m not sure how that plays out, but as a good Virgo, my best fishing buddies tend to be Virgo males, but by this definition? I’d consider everyone of our girlfriends Waffle House HOT, right from the start. No question. Females reading this? Waffle House Hot, for sure. Nothing is better than that. It’s a term of praise and endearment. Take it for what its worth is and then, consider the sources. Couple of guys, sitting in boat, middle of the lake, taking about women. Take it for what it’s worth. We mean well.
Virgo: male or female, give us a break, give us a chance, we mean well.
Libra:
There’s a series of musical pieces, largely unintegrated, and yet, to me, on my random-ish playlist? Stringing a few of these pieces together produce a hugely ecclesiastical sound. One album on the set list includes a piece done on an organ in a great church, so there is that audio signature, but the synth tones, too, and the way it’s strung together, although not really church-like, there’s still a church-like tone to it all. Majestic, synth-pop, keyboard, electronica with a notable hint of regal air. There’s a kind of pomp that comes with this, invokes a large room with robes and stately presences.
As this rolled up, I kept thinking about the Libra challenges this week. How to approach the bumps, trials and tribulations that seem to beset the Libra enemies, and how to effectively deal with this mess of a week, the weekend, too?
Listen for that organ music, the stately and elegant, even ecclesiastical in arrangement, that’s the stuff to help you graceful march through the last week of this month.
Scorpio:
There’s a line from epic English poetry, about a body buried in the backyard, and has it began to smell bad. As a Scorpio, I was wondering, looking at the way this stuff splays across the astrological screen? A body, real or figurative, that was buried, real or metaphorical, did you bury it deep enough, real or allegorical? Has it started to ripen with the first vestigial indications of spring, has it started to bloom? Or smell bad?
One Scorpio gets a haunted look when I talk about something like this, as if, there’s a great misdeed, long-hidden, and it might be uncovered. There are two choices, in the coming few days, two ways to deal with this. The first is to open up and talk about the mistake, be open, honest, and tell everyone where that body is, unburden thy soul, so to speak. Come clean. Get honest. Tell the whole truth, not just part of it. The other choice? Far more Scorpio in flavor, if you ask me? I got a friend who has a backhoe, let’s just dump some more dirt on where that body, real or imagined, is buried. Pile more material up on it, instead of digging it up for all to see. Bury it deeper.
As an unrelated sidebar item: Scorpio? This was a horoscope inspired by T.S. Eliot’s poetry.
Sagittarius:
One of my more “Mexican” friends was trying to explain the difference between Tex-Mex and “Mexican” food. I already know the difference: Tex-Mex is regional, fusion cuisine with a surfeit of grease and dead animal parts while “Mexican” relies on fresh produce, and stews that are boiled not fried. Try explaining this in a fast-food place, even if it is a local chain.
“Rice isn’t ‘white,’ never, ever,” he was explaining to me. My riposte? Uncle Ben’s, and sushi, no, I was pretty sure that rice was always white. It’s not, but that wasn’t part of the discussion. Never let facts interfere with a good debate, huh. I was losing the argument, but then, I was planning on losing that fight. Battle. War, whatever. Food and food types is worthy of endless discussion. There are no “right” answers, not now. As a Sagittarius, for entertainment’s sake, I was arguing from a weaker point, maybe greater rhetorical skill, but both a pointless argument and one I couldn’t win. Didn’t stop me from mocking the situation and trotting out “facts” that couldn’t be substantiated. Nope, never bothered me in the least. Given where the planets are, given that Saturn is in our sign, given that the odds are against us? I used a tried and true rhetorical device to draw the attention away from me by arguing about something rather inconsequential, and even, to the point, that I knew I might be incorrect, but I used as much evidence as I could muster. I know I was incorrect, you know I was incorrect, but that didn’t stop the tirade. Besides, picking on little things that don’t really matter? Beats the alternative of losing big deals that do matter.
Capricorn:
Kind of funny, in a weird way, I got used to turning to Marcus Aurelius as a source of quick inspiration when nothing else seemed to work. There’s a free, public domain translation, I think it’s still available, on my site. I prefer, though, there were two kind of “new age, new thought” translations that seemed slightly less preachy.
For years, that was a simple “go to” for a quick note when nothing else worked. I’d think of it like a certain kind of plastic bait that I’ve used, year-in and year-out as a specific bait that seems to work under any condition, and especially when the fishing was tough. Same kind of thing, I’d like to think, “go-to” bait, and “go-to” philosophy.
Turns out that the Stoics, the Pagans, the Neo-Pagans, and some Christian Philosophers all claims Marcus Aurelius and his Meditations as one of their own. As a Stoic Capricorn, you can claim him, too, although, if I recall, and I might not, he was born in Leo, according to the Roman Calendar used at the time.
This is about a stoic approach to the events in the next 7 (seven) days. This is about a philosophical outlook that helps you understand that this — what is about to occur — is for the greater good. The team. The players, the whole shooting match, all of that. Failing at that, go and try some Marcus Aurelius; although, times being what they are, I’d suggest one of the more recent “new age” translations over the Victorian prose of the public domain copy.
Aquarius:
Simplicity is your friend.
Simplify.
Make it easier on yourself, not more complex.
There’s an urge to complicate the situations, the processes, the way we get from “here,” where the Aquarius currently is, to “there,” where the Aquarius wants to be, and me, I’m not really allowed to pick the route. If the choice were left up to me? It would take days and we’d wander all across the landscape, zig-zagging towards a destination, with as many detours, side-trips, and distractions as need be to more than fulfill the allotted time. I can waste more time than anyone. The distractions, which are usually interesting and of significant value to the Aquarius? We’ve got to watch that. Simplicity. If the shortest route is a straight line, then take it. From Austin, to the “Devil’s Elbow,” for some coastal fishing? The easiest route for an Aquarius? Straight down the interstate. It’s not the most direct route, as there’s a shortcut, goes through every little town in between Austin and the coastline, making it almost 30 miles shorter. Still, the most direct route? Straight down that old interstate. Safer. Faster. More direct, if not, technically, shorter.
Simplicity.
Simplicity is your friend.
- Aquarius: think. You ever get a ticket for speeding in a small town in Texas? Like all along that shorter route to the coast?
Simplicity.
Simplicity is your friend.
Pisces:
The Fishes
It is a universal food, and I’ve found it employed in everything from fine dining to roadside attractions. It’s a miracle of food stuffs, basically, a pork sausage, as far as I know, but then, it’s not my specialty. All-Beef, Chicken, or, the most recent? Chicken and Pork, and it tastes like, well, all hot dogs all should taste about the same.
I recall the “gourmet” hot dog on a street corner, but it the dog itself wasn’t anything too spectacular. The presentation with the striations of colors in the relish made the difference. Visually appealing, at least to me. We’re looking for a way to dress up and dress down, and for a Pisces?
Think of using a hot dog as the starting point. It can go fancy dress, Chicago-style, ball-park, state fair, fried, barbecue, any number of potentials exist. Pick one. Get package of whatever fits your requirements from cheap to “fancy-dress,” kosher, or even vegan, whatever works. The trick to be as adaptable as possible, and with all the variations on the theme with the “oh-so American” hot dog? Just a good place to start. Start with something commonplace and basic before you build it up into an exotic.
