Cut Copy Paste

With the current state of affairs, I thought I would offer a simple solution. It’s so easy, just copy, paste, and cut out what’s not needed.

Portable Mercury Retrograde

—Begin Message—

Dear Boss, Employer, Supervisor, Manager, Team Leader, Spouse, Boyfriend, Girlfriend:

According to my personal astrologer, Kramer Wetzel of astrofish.net, this is not a good week for me. My personal stars are in disarray.

There was a series of eclipses in March, sort of rattled my cage, then Mars turned retrograde in April. Opposite that Mars in Retrograde is Mercury in Retrograde, so clearly, this is not my fault.

I blame the planets.

As such, I would like to be excused from work for this next week.

Your assistance in this matter is greatly appreciated.

Signed, Your Name Here

—End Message—

Does it work?

Seemed like an inspired idea at the moment.