Horoscopes starting 6.30.2016

“If you don’t live it, it ain’t
going to come out of your horn.”

    —Louis Armstrong

Horoscopes starting 6.30.2016

Cancer:

Cancer

Moon Child

Louis Armstrong (Leo), and his words of wisdom, there’s something in that short quote. One of the first of the new wave of astrology teachings purported to use “Experiential Astrology” as a way to convey meaning and essence of the energies. The problem with that? As a native Texan, Chicken-Fried-Steak with Red-Eye-Gravy makes perfect sense but for more than three-quarters of my Moon Child readers? Not so much. The “Chicken-Fried” is an allusion to classical comfort food. It’s also a classical Cancer reference point, both as comfort food and as preferences. So how does this play with Louis Armstrong’s comment? This week is “experiential.”

You have to see it, feel it, then live it, before you’re able to tell us about whatever it is. Was. Whatever the antecedent to “it” is, before we get to birthday celebrations and parties, there’s a Cancer “experience” that’s required. Like Louis Armstrong suggests.

The Leo:

There’s a frantic need for a giant “Pause” button, only, for the majestic Leo? The Leo? Perhaps a “Pause for Paws,” or some similar justification? Can’t blame me for trying to make light of a situation that seems dire, indeed.

The problem, the face of the opposition, the issue, the challenge is that it’s not The Leo’s birthday time yet. With three strong indicators piled up in Cancer, the sign before you, and as those are triggered by Pluto, in Capricorn? New Moon with extra layers of power attached to its presence, again, in the sign before your Leo magnificence? Simple words work, this week.

You know, Leo darling, you can’t just stand around and wait for some to ask you to dance.

Virgo:

Words of wisdom, imparted to my Virgo buddies? “A real gentleman always apologizes after a fight, even if he is right.” Let’s break this down over the next week. First, in the US, there’s the July 4th thing. Celebration. Happy birthday to US. Then, there’s the idea that, with current conditions in the skies, a fight, either small or large, will happen in, or around, Virgo. Finally, being Virgo, there’s a good chance that Virgo is, indeed, without doubt, unequivocally, correct. The bigger person, we used to say, “The better man,” but that’s now sexist, so we’ll say, “The bigger person,” which implies the person with more humanity and emotional maturity, the better person will step up and apologize after the fracas. Is this a big fight? Can be, if your Virgo self let’s it spin out of control. Best course of action? Remember what I suggested?

“A real gentleman always apologizes after a fight, even when he is right.”

Libra:

With the cacophony, a great, and to some, hideous, noise coming from the planet’s stacked up in Cancer? That creates Libra tension. What might help? Remember, Libra, you are talented in many different areas. Perhaps this is a time to explore those talents that you can’t, won’t, perceive about your Libra self. Talents like how to combine elements to make them appear pretty, a skill set sadly lacking in some (myself as a prime example). Perhaps it is the artful arrangement of people, places, or things. Maybe it’s the artful agreement of facts, again a skill set I’m sadly lacking.

There are an almost unlimited number of good qualities that your Libra self embodies, and the biggest challenge is overcoming that noise. Block out the detractors. Refuse to listen to the negative comments? Or, if that doesn’t work, pause long enough to realize that the detractors aren’t seeing the whole image. There’s a lot of background noise. It’s how you choose to deal with that noise, and like I’ve suggested, many times over, as a Libra, you’ve got a great number of strengths. Use those varied combinations.

Scorpio:

“If ‘A = B,’ and then, ‘B=C,’ we can easily see how ‘X = Y,’ right?” Right. Only wrong, for Scorpio, this next few days. I built a logical order, and it’s pretty easy for even the most stubborn of Scorpio buddies to see how this series is going to wind up, correct? As a “Scorpio-friendly” person, I can easily see how the apparent logic leads us both to the same conclusion. Herein is out problem, Mars, Moon, and so forth? You have to do all the steps in between. You have to show all work. That’s a lot of alphabet soup between here, where Scorpio is, and there, where Scorpio can easily draw the logical (to you and me) conclusion. The biggest hurdle? The largest blockage? Not everyone can arrive at the same, logical, conclusions as quick as your Scorpio self. It’s very simple, no, not the conclusion, no, the way we arrive at this and how we have to be patient, let the other, non-Scorpio folks understand every little step we took to get from the beginning to the logical conclusion at the end. Show all the work. Not just some of it. Those intuitive leaps? I get it. You get it. Not everyone can keep up. Pretend they are all “slow,” with a nod towards my Scorpio friends, you know what I mean.

Scorpio: Show all work. Not everyone can keep up with your infallible logic (even though you are correct).

Sagittarius:

This next few days require poise and balance. I’m not known for either. I’m not always typical in my Sagittarius traits, but I’d like to think that I am. However, “Poise and balance?” Not really a strong suite with us. This week requires both. Not just one, but a surfeit of both. In order to achieve “Poise and balance?” Pause. There’s always one smart-aleck with a firecracker that goes off, right behind me, and I’m tempted to spin around and return fire. Not the “Poise and balance” we were looking for, now is it? While our “Poise and balance” is in exceedingly short supply? The next, best trick?

Freeze.

That simple. Firecracker goes off? Freeze. “Hey, Kramer!” Freeze. Loud noise, confrontation, what appears to a calamity in front of our very eyes? Freeze. Don’t move. That isn’t really “Poise and balance,” but it will fool a few, non-Sagittarius types, and it will make us look like we’ve got “Poise and balance.”

The trick? Freeze.

Capricorn:

Weirdest thing, an incongruity. I read a few books in a series, and the main female protagonist was athletic, strong, sinewy, fair-skinned, and most assuredly, brunette. Almond tone to her eyes. Literary fiction. Symbolic. On TV, in the movies? She was played by a blonde with blue eyes, a woman of obvious show-stopping appeal, but the hair and eye color were wrong. I thought about this when I was in a bookstore, the other afternoon.

Poking through the left-over books, I saw a title, and I thought about the mismatched star and lead character. How, on the screen, in video, it didn’t look or feel right to me; but then, I’m the guy who read the books, first. Then got around to seeing the TV version. Movie interpretation. Video version. In print, the female — brunette — is brilliant and deadly accurate with multiple firearms. On screen, she’s played a little ditzy. Doesn’t work for me, as I see a huge difference between the print and video. But that’s me. I read the book, first. As a Capricorn, you have to ask yourself, with these interpretations, “What’s wrong with this picture?”

Aquarius:

I gave one of my Aquarius friends a target date. This is where I earn my keep, you know? Target date was six weeks away. Two weeks later? “Sorry dude, I had to dump her. I couldn’t take not knowing.” The sense is that I asked for 6 weeks, and the Aquarius buddy, he waited two weeks. Not even, more like 10 days. 6 weeks, ten days? Kind of different. Also kind of a problem. That sense of “Hurry up, we need to get this done” soon? That degree of urgency?

I can’t do anything that will help Aquarius more than a well-timed pause.

About 6 weeks is what I was looking for, and ten days? Not nearly enough. As an Aquarius, this week’s little lesson included being patient, in some capacity and the problem being? Patience is in short supply. These are not Gemini minutes, or Gemini weeks, or whatever. I’m asking for delay. A delay that is greater than, maybe three times as long as you were willing to put this off. Got it? Delay. Not over, just not as soon as you would like.

Pisces:

Buddy of mine was going through the profit/loss/earning equations. To me, this is a simple process. I run a tidy, tiny business, so this isn’t difficult to keep track of various loose ends. Then, too, I’ve worked hard to make this look easy, where I try to keep this simple. More than 20 years ago, I was using a different metric than most business people.

Shoes.

To me, a successful day is not wearing shoes or a shirt. So the Pisces profit/loss/earnings equations? Adjust them as need be. Is this about monetary gain or is this about success as measured by a different equation? For me? Shoes. Did I have to wear shoes? I’m not sure, but the Pisces success meter might need to be adjusted. It’s that profit/loss/earning equation. Might want to recalibrate the Pisces senses. Mine might be too simple, just “shoes.” But my buddy, the other day, his seemed way too complicated for Pisces.

Simplify how you judge your success. Me? I did I have to wear shoes, or could I be the Barefoot Astrologer? How you measure “success,” as you define it?

Aries:

Some time back, I was reading about coffee prep on the web. I was reading articles from coffee websites, about how to prepare the best cup of coffee. Can’t really prep coffee on the web, although, there might be an app for that, now. The winner was to hand-grind the coffee with a little crank, and I bought a hand-operated burr grinder, as suggested.

It takes me way too long to grind up enough coffee to make a single cup, much less my requisite morning pot of coffee. Way too long. Noble idea. I have that grinder as a spare, and for an occasional afternoon single serving of coffee. But as far as grinding it up, by hand, every day? Seriously? That’s not going to happen.

As a novelty, it was great, and if the power is out, I guess, that’s always an option too. Part of this is about making an effort to try for the best. Then, too, there’s the idea that some degree of compromise is called for. As an Aries, I suggest you give the hand-cranked coffee grinder, ice cream maker, whatever a try. Give it a spin. Once you figure out how hard it is? Too time consuming? Save it for a day when the power’s out.

Taurus:

Mars really isn’t moving and as such? We haven’t really recovered from the recent spate of bad luck and ill omens. As a Taurus, there’s just a kind of oppressive energy that seems to leave you, for lack of better word?

Befuddled.

Not like this is any of your own doing, no, none of that. There’s just a sense that there’s something else that’s going on, and that’s the problem.

Mars is stirring the pot, and if one is stirring up a pot that doesn’t smell good, doesn’t look good, and seems to be full of other peoples’ problems? Perhaps it’s best not to lick the spoon that stirs the pot.

Got that? Just a suggestion, but as material starts to get scattered around? Maybe don’t show up and try to catch some of the blame, some of the crap that’s getting launched, some of the problems other folks are having? Maybe, some of this, maybe some of this isn’t yours. Don’t show up and accept crap that isn’t of your own, Taurus doing. Mars. We can still blame Mars.

Gemini:

Patience may, indeed, be a virtue, but it’s in terribly sort supply in the Gemini camp.

Can’t help that.

However, patience has rewards.

Wait for it.

astrofish.net

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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