Proposed Legislation

It’s simple legislation, and I’m sure this would be immediately amenable in all 50 states, make it local instead of federal, to avoid the debate.

I propose the Bump Law.

See, if a pedestrian walks, like, against the light? While engrossed in a phone?

Or the car in front of you, light changes green, but the driver is busily staring at his — or her — crotch? Most places make it illegal to use a phone while driving, but my proposed Bump Law? It would be OK, in specific instances, to nudge that person with a car bumper.

If a person is too engrossed in a phone’s screen to pay attention to immediate surroundings, and the car bumper is in a position, perhaps blocked, by the person so otherwise occupied? It really should be legal to “tap” that person with the bumper. Less than 5 miles an hour, no harm, no damage. Just a tap. Should be a law.

Better yet, every place I travel, in recent memory — every place I’ve been? They all have “Hands Free” or no cell phone laws. So if a person is talking on the handset, and that’s illegal?

The Bump Law.

Should be a law.

Just a nudge.

“Hang up and drive!”

Just a bump.