Horoscopes starting 11.3.2016

    Indeed you come near me now, Hal, for we that take purses go by the moon and the seven stars, and not by Phoebus, he, “that wand’ring knight so fair.” And I prithee, sweet wag, when thou art a king, as, God save thy Grace—Majesty I should say, for grace thou wilt have none—
    Falstaff in Shakespeare’s Henry IV, part 1 (1.2.3)

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Horoscopes starting 11.3.2016



The Scorpion

One noted Shakespeare scholar suggests that Shakespeare’s Falstaff is perhaps one of the finest literary creations, and in that introductory quote? They are setting up to rob someone, more for sport than gain. Although, to be honest, Sir John (Falstaff) does it for gain, as well. In the series of plays, ostensibly history plays, sort of like Shakespeare’s version of “Based on a true story?” In the plays, there is no actual historical antecedent to Sir John’s character. Shakespeare didn’t keep an author’s blog, so there’s no way to know what was going on. There is anecdotal evidence that suggests Falstaff was loosely based on Sir John Oldcastle, but that’s circumstantial, at best. Could just be a coincidence. As we gratefully acknowledge the Scorpio birthdays, we look towards Venus — in Sagittarius — and Mars — in Capricorn — then Mercury — still in Scorpio — for guidance during this birthday time. Supposition, inference, Scorpio’s “intuition,” all of that is good, but not enough to build a real case. Normally, I trust your Scorpio feelings, trust them more than I would trust my own judgement. However, just for now? Just around this special birthday time? Evidence. Hard, cold facts. Evidence in hand before making any sweeping statements.

“Just the facts, ma’am. Just the facts.”

Just the facts, Scorpio. Just the facts.



The Archer

I have a love/hate relationship with so-called “Social Media.” At times, it’s particularly easy to use for contact and conversations with potential clients. The problem is that the particular outlets can also become great time-wasters. More time spent searching for old friends who seem to have fallen off the planet. As such, I tend to have a coherent and focused strategy for “Social Media.”

Having a strategy is what works. I’ll hit the sites while on a break in the morning. After I’ve done some discernible work. After I’ve had some coffee, and maybe, after a morning walk. With Venus, we tend to be a bit lazy, and with Saturn, “work” is probably more important. The answer is a coherent strategy. A method, a process, a series of steps. I have a growing number of clients who prefer social media as a way to contact me, either private chat, or messages, or whatever that is, the anonymous thing. Just by the handle. Oddly enough, my online media handles are eerily similar to my email addresses and websites, with “@kramerw” and “KramerW.com” filling that out, in addition to, obviously, “astrofish.net.”

    The trick? Coherent strategy.

Make a plan, and then, since we made the plan, since this is our own, Sagittarius handiwork?

    Follow that plan.

Follow the steps we proscribed.



The Sea-Goat

Imagine a trailer park in South Austin, back in the day. Imagine a very small, kind of rickety, rudimentary front “porch” in front of the trailer itself. Maybe a couple of lawn chairs there. That trailer park is now a parking lot for high-rise, not that it matters. Anyway, the easiest way to clean the front of the trailer’s porch and porch-like area? Water hose. I’d just squirt water from a simple water hose, like the one that a hooked to trailer’s water supply, and anyway, I’d just hose off the “front porch.” Took two minutes.

As soon as Mars completes its trip through the tropical zodiac sign of Capricorn? Time to get out the hose and wash out the front room. The front porch. The kitchen. I’m not sure which part, exactly, needs to be cleaned, but as soon as Mars gets ready to exit? Think about a hose and a power-wash technique to make a clean sweep of it all. The power-wash, the spraying technique? That’s the secret to making this a good, new start for Capricorn. There’s something that you want swept clean, and now’s the time. I suggest a hose with a sprayer attached, but that might just be my own interpretation of a “Clean sweep.”



The Water Bearer

This is where the astrologer earns his dollars. This a week marked — for Aquarius — as the time to “Get ready for Mars.” Mars enters Aquarius, at the very tail end of this horoscope, so the time, this next few days? That time is best spent getting ready. Pick up extra supplies, like bottles of sport drinks, or handy bottles of water, granola bars, which, oddly enough, in my household, “granola bars” have no granola, usually the bars are paleo-like with nuts and fruits, but no grains. And that’s the problem for Aquarius. Why this is about getting it together before Mars arrives, there’s a tendency to get stuck behind details that don’t have a lot of bearing on the topic of Mars and Martian Preparations. Like worrying about the content of my “granola bars,” which, really? Have no grains so they have no granola. Weird how that works. Another case of bottled water, some “electrolyte-rich,” vividly-tinted sports drinks, and maybe those vegan granola bars. A period of flurried, frenzied activity is coming soon — to Aquarius. Get prepared. One week, maybe a little less now.




The Fishes

One of my fishing buddies, he’s got a Pisces girlfriend. Wife, now, I think. I don’t recall. Pisces girlfriend, whatever. When the two them, my buddy and the Pisces girlfriend moved in together? There was a short discussion about all of her shoes.

    “Do you really need
    ALL of these shoes?”

Simple question. Apparently, she’s a got a huge selection of shoes with high heels. Her answer? “I might.” His answer to her answer? The word I got from her, was he just shrugged his shoulders. Now, most of his closet is full of that Pisces girlfriend, wife? I don’t know, can’t keep up, anyway, most of his closet space is Pisces shoes. Some she might wear. Some she might not. I have no idea. Darling lady, and she does look quite fetching in the heels, although, I’ve never figured out how — why — short girls negotiate six-inch heels. As a male, to me, this is a mystery I will not solve. As a Pisces, though, it’s easy. Then, too, there will be the question about some excess.

    “Do you really need ALL of those shoes?”

“I might.”

It’s burden, but for a Pisces, none lighter. Enjoy.



The Ram

On the back of one of my business cards, I have note from a client. It’s a couple of artist recommendations, as the music is mixed media format. Not sure what to call it. Of the three items listed, one was really good. One was marginal, and one was not to my liking. Not bad, just not really “my thing.”

    Understandable, correct?

The way this week plays out, there are three options. Three items.Three suggestions. One just doesn’t sit well with Aries. One is OK, and one? Stellar success. The problem being, the first one? Probably the one you don’t like, but you won’t know unless you try. I had to purchase the music and then, listen to it all the way through a couple of times before I was able to determine it wasn’t to my liking. Close, a similar genre, just not my exact tastes. But close. One was OK, and then, one, a stellar success. Think “Trance ambient accordion music Tex-Mex conjunto disco.” Tastes are highly subjective and this isn’t about tastes, this is about three tries to get one right and to eliminate one. The odds are in Aries favor, but be warned, there will be one that really doesn’t “Do it for you.”



The Bull

I don’t want to get all technical, and this flies in the face of conventional wisdom, but technically? Alcohol is a solution. This is a play on the old rub, “Alcohol isn’t the solution,” as a friend, or a Taurus, tries to drown the problems. My problems have life preservers wrapped around them, so the problems are saturated in alcohol, and bobbing along on the surface, as the booze magnifies and cranks the volume up on the problems.

For the Taurus, though, this is more of technical details. Which is what the chart says, now, too, it’s more of a technical detail. So as the Taurus week unfolds, and when someone suggests you’re not doing it right, or what you’re doing is wrong, or that the Taurus approach to the issue is probably deemed incorrect, or more abhorrent, “Politically incorrect,” get all technical.

“Technically, alcohol is a solution. Look it up in the chemistry book.”



The Twins

I’ve spent a large portion of my adult life in and around Austin, Texas. Lived there for many years, for many active years in my career. As I drifted further south, following the sun, I noticed that Austin’s traffic seemed to get worse.

    “Traffic in Austin is like the weather, always a factor, unpredictable, inconvenient at best, much discussed, and yet, nothing can be done about it.”

As we roll on through Scorpio, think about that complaint, observations, and rumination about the Central Texas traffic. The simplest, clearest Gemini solution is for everyone to just get out of your way. Since that’s not likely to happen? Consider building in extra time for the other 11 signs, who are, best, going to clog the freeways of the Gemini life, the highways and byways, preventing timely access to much-desired data. You’re going to get there, but might want to allow extra time. You can talk about it all you want, but not making an allowance for the traffic, or the weather, or the whatever?

That’s on you, Gemini.



Moon Child

Mars tripped up on Pluto and caused some Cancer consternation. Then, as this week unfolds, and next week starts, there’s a sense that this consternation and upset in the Cancer’s camp will start to settle down. It will settle down. It’s getting there. It’s not there yet. It’s getting there. There’s one, might be onerous or odious, but there’s one task left undone on the Cancer’s plate. There’s one item on the “To Do” list in the life of the Crab that needs your attention. Matter of fact, it needs your utmost attention, right now. I just figure, if I lean on you a little, a gentle form of coercion or perhaps, some imploring persuasion?

    Please? Pretty please?
    Pretty please with sugar on it?

I figure if I suggest, not demand, just suggesting, that this is a task that needs attention now? If you get after this in this next week? Might be two years, or more, before you have to deal with this crap again. Simple as that. Might be able to put it to bed, put it away, bury it, once for all, for ever. Ever and ever. Ever after. To make this happen? Make it go away? Tackle that onerous, possibly odious, task now.

The Leo:

The Leo

The Lion

Change directions. This is much less about stopping, turning around and going back the way you came, and this more about considering a drastic change in direction. This doesn’t have to mean career. This doesn’t have to mean life-changes. This could be a simple derivation from the Leo-proscribed “norm.” One of my Leo buddies, hey girl, she has one way of driving out of her neighborhood. Only one, somewhat circuitous route. One way, only. Change that. Go straight instead of left at the end of the street. Don’t take the short-cut, which if you examine it on an aerial map, you’ll see it really isn’t any shorter.

Just think about it.

This isn’t a big change. This is merely an adjustment, but some kind of change to the mighty Leo routine pays off well.



The Virgin

I got a buddy who fancies herself a bit of an astrologer. She’ll grab the ephemeris, and look up a birthday. That book will yield some facts that are close but might not be accurate. Time of birth, even an approximation, plus location on the planet gives a much more accurate birth chart. The tables of planets’ locations in the listed set? That’s a good guideline, but not always accurate.

For the last few years, I’ve had a phone with an astrology app. Not exactly the most convenient, but serviceable. As a Virgo, you’re sorely tempted to just grab the book and look it up. The challenge that currently exists? That book yield useful data, but it’s not close enough. Or it’s close call as the time — and location — of birth would put a planet, an astrological calculation, usually the Moon, in one sign or anther. Changes everything. The hard math and the science of it all works one way. I tend to use a computer for the calculations because doing it by hand required a calculator, some trig., and a deep understanding of what’s where. This week is all about being exact. Sure, “Virgo is detail oriented,” yes, we’ve all heard that. However, for the real calculations, the complex math? Use a machine.

Get the machine to do the heavy lifting.

Fewer errors that way.



The Scales

Good luck, good fortune, good times, and cranky people. That’s what it looks like to me. It’s not all bad, not for Libra, but the amount of “Mr. Cranky Pants” (or Ms. Cranky Pants, doesn’t much matter) that you’ll encounter between now and when Mars leaves Capricorn? Increases exponentially dependent upon the Libra attitude towards Mr. or Mrs. “Cranky Pants.” The term allows for a broad interpretation as this does vary, and not everyone Libra encounters is so wrapped up in their own problems, but there will one or two.

How you choose to deal with these characters? Therein is the measure of your own, Libra humanity.

Pause, be patient, and then pause again. The irascible, visibly upset person with whom you’re dealing? They have more problems than we can fathom, and the best course of Libra action? Inaction. It’s a tricky gambit, but I’ve found it works well.

Nod and appear understanding.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2021 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

  • anita dudek Nov 3, 2016 @ 14:06

    I have a shoe room. Yes, pisces girl right down to the tip of my toes.

    • Kramer Wetzel Nov 3, 2016 @ 21:52

      ‘Shoe garage’ was another term I heard…