Text Format Horoscopes

Text Format Horoscopes

Many years ago, I had two clients sitting in front of me, discussing how I send a follow-up e-mail, and the one client was explaining to her friend, “Just read it and then, hear Kramer saying it out loud, like, imagine he’s just talking to you. He writes like he’s just talking to you.”

Epiphany(1) — it’s not just for breakfast anymore!

Text Format Horoscopes

Thinking along the lines of just a Twitter-like constraint, just how effective can that be?

Working on the upcoming horoscopes, I was marveling, the length is starting to stretch out a bit, but there are some that are singularly short. No discernible pattern.

With a nod to a former teacher, and acknowledgement of dated, sexual references?

The horoscope should be like a dress, long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep it interesting.

Hint: Not original, not mine, and not approved for its frankly sexualization content, but, as a definition? Kind of works.

Text Format Horoscopes

“Do not chew or crush; swallow whole.” While it is incorporated in the fineprint, I’m not sure if it is truly applicable.

Text Format Horoscopes

The idea of the daily text format horoscope is great, but I can’t, with good conscience, produce that much content. Quality would suffer, and any more, it becomes a numbers game.

I’m the only author here, and none of this is machine generated. It’s a combination of classical astrological lore and modern sentiments, with a sprinkling of other elements, as is my wont. Adding a structure for a text format horoscope, yeah, given my verbosity? Probably not going to happen.

As an example, the shorter weekly, I do? Like this one, the introductory quote alone wouldn’t fit as a text, much less anyone of the signs. And that is a light-weight weekly, by my standards, just a tad over 2K words.


(1)Epiphany, from the A Handbook to Literature, 5th Ed.

Epiphany has been given wide currency as a critical term by James Joyce, who used it to designate an event in which the essential nature of something—a person, a situation, an object—was suddenly perceived. (Page 181)

A Handbook to Literature (12th Edition)

Text Format Horoscopes

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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