Horoscopes starting 12.28.2017

“This making of Christians will raise the price of hogs.”

Launcelot Gobbo in Shakespeare’s
The Merchant of Venice III.v.7

The Year ahead: 2018

Astrological Highlights for 2018

Mercury Retrograde: March 22 to April 15, 2018 (Aries) | July 25 to August 18, 2018 (Leo) | November 16 to December 6, 2018 (Sag./Scorpio).

Mars Retrogrades June 26 to August 27, 2018 (Aquarius/Capricorn).

Venus Retrogrades from October 5 to November 16, 2018 (Scorpio/Libra).

Jupiter enters the Tropical Zodiac sign of Sagittarius (Yes! Fist Pump!) November 8, 2018.

Uranus enters Taurus May 18, retrograding August 7, sliding back into Aries November 6, 2018.

Details here.

Thematic elements for 2018

2017 ended with Cap/Sag Mercury in Retrograde flavor, thankfully over, and none too soon, so the rest of this coming year is about directions and choices, and sticking with goals. Or modifying directions that no longer serve.

The fixed signs, Taurus, The Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius carry the full weight of this year’s patterns as a couple of events, most notably the Mercury Retrograde opposite the Mars Retrograde in August.

Uranus, just entering Taurus, then tapping out after no more than two degrees? Again, suggestions that the bedrock foundation might have some cracks in it. Or might not, won’t know until we’ve examined it all.

Which is what this year’s dramatic Mercury Retrogrades and then other planets’ jostling are about.

Horoscopes starting 12.28.2017



The Sea Goat

In poetic terms, it’s called “Synesthesia.” It means there are senses attached to an art’s form that might not really be present in the original format. Most recently, this was an orchestra doing Dvorak’s 8th symphony, with some subtitle — I don’t know — classical isn’t always my thing — but part way through, I could smell the springtime aroma of fresh-turned earth, the warm and moist dirt being broken for the first time, after a winter’s rest and recent rains. The fecund flavor of rich, nascent spring promise of growth. While the orchestra playing one passage, it was clear that there was the very tangible sense of smell attached to the piece of music.

In part, it was the composition of the music, the arrangement, the symphony itself. In part, it was the orchestra performing the music, adding passion and possibly subtle interpretations flourish and fluff out the music itself. In part, it was the conductor who evoked such a response from his orchestra.

In this next year, Capricorn is an earth sign, and in this next year, as Saturn gets cozy in Cappy? Think about that synesthesia that Saturn brings. As Saturn is the nominal ruler of Cap? Look for the synesthesia that no other sign gets.



The Water Bearer

Part of my misspent youth included stints slinging whiskey as a bartender. When I worked my way through the various locations, I have a vaguely troubling memory of a few shifts at a hole-in-the-wall, dive-like place where Irish Cofee was the late night drink of choice. The recipe was simple.

It was wineglass-like stemware, and it got a teaspoon of white sugar in the bottom, then a shot of Irish Whiskey, then splashed with coffee, so maybe 1-2 ounces of whiskey, 6 ounces of coffee, then it was topped with a heaping tablespoon of fresh whipped heavy cream. Looked like a layered drink, was super simple to put together in a busy, late-night rush, and it was the staple of the place. Texas and Irish go way back, so it’s not that far-fetched. Looking at your Aquarius week ahead, then the year ahead? Four ingredients, layered, and presented well. Super simple to make. I’ve watched characters have a more extensive Starbucks order, obviously much more difficult to constructed.

Aquarius: in the week ahead then in the year ahead? Four ingredients. Layered. Super simple.



The Fishes

One of my buddies made the leap. He went from employee to self-employed. He’s his own boss, now.

“Now I get it,” he was explaining to me, “you work all the time. It never stops.”

No, it never stops. There is no official “down time,” and the concept of a holiday is an amusing notion, at best. In my line of work, I enjoy what I do, so it’s not really a problem, not for me, and good for you, my Pisces friends, as I keep watch on what is happening, planet-wise, on a constant basis. This week requires some extra Pisces attention. One way — or another — but one way requires constant attention. No break, be prepared to answer the call after 5 PM on a weekend night, and be prepared to work. This can be career stuff, or this can be the Pisces Passion, I’m lucky enough to have both work so closely in my life. Not everyone gets so lucky, and in that case, when the phone rings, the email dings, the buzzer goes off, whatever it is that drives the Pisces Passions? Be ready, this week, this year?

“Now I get it,” he was explaining to me, “you work all the time. It never stops.”



Aries The Ram

“The pause that refreshes.” What I was searching for? A single word, maybe a phrase, that will encapsulate all of the next year — and maybe beyond — for Aries and that Aries Energy in everyone’s chart. But mostly just for Aries.

“The pause that refreshes,” is an old advertising jingle from before my time. However, it’s a substantial spin on the original idea of a single word, and that word would’ve been, “Pause.” However, as an Aries, you need a little more explanation so how about a phrase?

“The pause that refreshes.”

It speaks an era, and time, but it also captures a few elements that I’m interested in as a way to express this week’s Aries planet placements.

The first is a simple pause, and then, as a way too move forward?

“The pause that refreshes.”

Little bit at a time, a simple pause, maybe just a fishing three-count, or five-count, depends on technique and gear set-up, but a simple pause, if only for a moment’s instance. Instant. Just pause. You should find, as an Aries, it will be, “The pause that refreshes.”



The Bull

Slow down.

Simply put.

Slow down, as there is nothing that has to be answered right now. There is nothing that has to be done, right this minute. There is no pending deadline that has to be fulfilled by January 1. Or January 31, or even beyond. In the next year, we’re going to get a taste of Uranus in Taurus, yes, that will be unsettling, and you’re getting the first glimpse of that energy, even now. But this is only a quick look-see. A reconnoiter trip, not a wholesale invasion. Just a quick glance around, shake it up a bit, see what needs to be changed, then, it backs off for a spell.

As a Taurus, this next week is the set up for this energy. See what you think you want to change. See what might need to be addressed in the coming year, or, better yet, in the coming years.

This isn’t, or doesn’t have to be, global, earthquake-type change. It can be simple course corrections, gentle adjustments to answering the Taurus life’s questions and challenges, and then, picking new directions. This week, then this year, first glimpse of what needs to change — make it your Taurus own change. Don’t be coerced by outside forces.

Taurus: Make it your own.



The Twins

Looking at an ad for for the big box home repair store, I kept noticing ladders, and then, power tools. Power packs for power tools. A pneumatic hammer, but that would require an air compressor to run, and then, I suppose, probably a project that justified such hardware, manly tools, to be sure, but that’s not me, not any more.

I have a hammer, an older Leatherman multi-tool, a couple of pocket knives, tiny screw drivers for working on sundry electronics, and that’s it. While I might think that an air-driven pneumatic hammer would be great to have — especially if it’s on sale — I plan on building no real fences or re-roofing anyone’s house. Great tools, but I have zero — none — no use whatsoever for those tools.

As the new year unfolds, be realistic about what the Gemini wants and needs.

There was a ladder-like tool bench that folded up, and I was sure, if I had one of those, I would be building stuff in no time. Pause for a second. How many projects have I done, in the last year, that would require that? None. Last two years? None. Last decade? None.


The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

“Numquam ponenda est pluralitas sine necessitate” — Plurality must never be posited without necessity. (Occam’s Razor, via Wikipedia.) There’s another version of the same way of looking at a situation: Simpler is better. Simplest is best. The original Occam’s Razor, he didn’t even have a razor, he was bearded fellow, but the original idea was that the more complex the hypothesis, the greater chance of arriving at an incorrect answer.

This is a year, after what we’ve all just been through, this is a coming week, the highlights what the rest of the new year might hold. Then we echo back to that razor thing, the quote, and using that as the way to move our Cancer selves forward? Simpler is better. The more complex the situation, the more complex the answer, the outcome that depends on too many variables? The greater the chance of an avoidable mistake.

I’ve found it handy to trot out some arcane quote in Latin, a very dead language, to make a point. But I’m also doing the very thing I suggest we not do: making it more complicated. The more complexity that gets introduced? The worse it gets.

“Numquam ponenda est pluralitas sine necessitate” — Plurality must never be posited without necessity. (Occam’s Razor, via Wikipedia.)

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

Love me my Leo friends, and especially, The Leo, but we’re up against some weirdness this next few days, and then? Forward into the new year, am I right? Or what?

    “I’ll go with ‘or what’ for now.”

Suit yourself. What I was looking at, came through a few days ago, there’s a local school that built a couple of the “Tiny Houses,” as projects. Pictures on the web someplace showed the flagship model, all painted, sealed, and then? Staged. Like a realtor had popped around with some knickknacks and crap, to make the place look lived in. There’s a whole science to staging like that. An important feature to the Tiny Houses is the foundation is usually built on a trailer bed. Wheels. So in the school’s house that was professionally staged? Fine glass figurines adorned a mantel. Those delicate, hand-blown (looking) figurines would be smashed to bits before the trailer was even properly hitched.

The Leo: Pause. Stop. Think. Delicate, pretty, and fragile? Maybe doesn’t belong in a mobile dwelling unit. Just suggesting, this week, and this next year, moving forward? Consider the location.



The Virgin

What happens when the commercial has an actor, and it becomes the best-known role for that actor?

“She was the spokesperson, well, in all the ads, for (brand name), and whatever happened?”

One guy had a spinoff show, but his ads were better than the show itself. Ads, really good ads, play to the time limit, so there’s a narrative thread inside that 30 second or one minute spot. I admire quality work, whether it’s a novel, a book, a short story, or just 30 second spot that convey as an image and message. Set-up, problem, resolution, catharsis, and hook, with advertising, it’s usually something to buy. So what happens to that actor who was in those ads?

This is a distraction of sorts, and there’s a real Virgo need to stay on track and focused. So what is the technical name for that, when the actor becomes most famous for an ad, and that’s it?

Considering that a single career can be built out of a successful campaign like that? As a Virgo, this week, this next year, does it matter where you find the success, as long as the success is there? Does the medium matter that much to you?



The Scales

Is there a single step that can simplify one’s life? A singular action that results in definite steps towards a goal, tangible progress, and that action, is it easy? Fun? Manageable? Quick to get an answer? According to the advertising, yes, there is a such a step. I’m sure, though, a few details are left out.

    Should always read the fine print, first.

With Saturn, where it is, compared to the delicate Libra sense of balance, and the realtime motions of Uranus, in the coming year, it’s the details, and the details can be the very bedevilment of us all.

As the new year gets underway, and as the fallout from the last Mercury in Retrograde begins to fade? One step. There was one clear step, a single motion in particular direction that, if you take this now, or soon? Before the next horoscope? If your Libra self takes that single step towards making it better? Balance might really be restored.




Adventures in babysitting. When Saturn first entered Sagittarius, I had a short piece about the required attention span, as I was babysitting for a fishing buddy, he had 1.5 year old son, at the time. That was several years ago. So that kid would be three, no, wait, do the math, four now. Five. Kid is five now. Saturn in Capricorn, right? What does that hold for the next week, and as a theme, for the next year?

The lesson learned from that kid, when he was all of a year old? I would recycle that message, again. As the nominal babysitter, at the time, all I had to do was watch the kid. He was doing something cute, I snapped a shot, and I was trying to text it to the parents, my fishing buddy, etc. I looked away for all of about twenty seconds, and I looked up, the kid, he had a metal fork and he was prying the child-proof guard out of a kitchen wall socket. My attention had wavered for all of about 20 seconds. 20 seconds and he was doing something that would have serious consequences — immediate, dire, possibly fatal, and if something happened to the kid on my watch? Fatal for me, too.

With Saturn in Capricorn, this week, this next to year? It’s just like watching that kid when he was all of a year old. 20 seconds, can’t take our eyes off even 20 seconds. Attention cannot waiver.

Not usually a problem for Scorpio but with Saturn in Capricorn?

If you even glance down to look at your phone or something? It’s just like that kid, metal fork, prying the “child-proof” cover off the outlet.




Not every Sagittrius chart that I look at has this, but many, more than a few, most, almost all of the Sagittarius charts have several planet energies in Sagittarius. The stuff that’s near the middle? Going to be heavily influenced — flavored — this next year. Two ways to describe this energy, as deception and illusion, or enlightenment and transcendence. Those are twin ideas that live on opposite sides of the same fence, and that is our Sagittarius riddle for this week, and then, on into the new year.

What is real, what is not real, but feels real? What matters most? What seems to matter the most, but might not be that important, next week? Better yet, who can help our Sagittarius selves figure this out, as to what’s best? And what might not be in our best, long-term interest?

You can seek my assistance, but I’m notoriously busy at the first of the year. Contact me, if there is a question. However, some of this, as a Solitary Sagittarius, what we need is small committee, a coterie of accomplices who are willing to help us see what’s — seems to be — whatever is touched by the “Middle Sag. Stuff?” Whatever is kind of blurry, maybe get some outside help. Just a few trusted friends, all it takes.

Sagittarius: ask. Ask for help.

    “Does this look infected?”
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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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