Horoscopes starting 12.7.2017

    That were a kind of bastard hope indeed; so the sins of my mother should be visited upon me.
    Jessica in Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice 3.5.4 (III.v.4)

Mercury in Retrograde? Mercury Save Us!

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Horoscopes starting 12.7.2017




Like my own concoction and collection of legal terms — the fine print — I am continually amused that people have to be reminded of certain aspects of modern life. “If the safety seal is broken, do not use this product.” Sounds obvious, right? Sounds blindingly obvious, right? Here it is, middling degree of Sagittarius, most of the way through the second decade of the new millennium, and still, we have to be reminded about obvious items. Makes me wonder what happened and did all our technological advances really make us smarter? The world is at our fingertips via the web, and yet, we’re just as stupid as ever, seems to be the case.

Earlier, today, I was joking with a buddy, “Yeah, you’re raised in Texas, when someone says, ‘Watch me do this,’ first thing you do is duck.” My buddy had an addendum, “I watch out when I hear, ‘Here, hold my beer,’ because…”

These are warning signs, but this week’s Sagittarius success depends more on fleeting common sense rather than a warning label. Now?

“Watch me do this!”



The Sea Goat

A Leo buddy, his daughter, another Leo, that kid, when she was ten, maybe 12 years old? She had sign in her room, “Always pretend that there is an invisible tiara on your head.” That sign, that message? For what’s happening, even now?

Capricorn: Always pretend there’s an invisible tiara on your head.

It’s a simple statement, and the way it was arranged, the there was the lettering, then a crown, and it was hung up over a mirror, so it looked like a princess type crown, a tiara, maybe, was about to be fitted to one’s head. Cute, huh.

The deal with Capricorn and why this Leo moment is important? There’s much shifting, planets — and players — in motion. Instead of watching this all pass your Capricorn self by? Acknowledge its presence with a “parade wave,” and to carry the symbolism just step further, and to make it more useful?

Capricorn: Always pretend there’s an invisible tiara on your head, even if the rest fail to notice. You know it’s there, and that’s all that matters.



The Water Bearer

There are some secrets that are just not very secret. There are some of us — Aquarius — who are not any good at keeping secrets. Want a person to keep a secret? Look at a Scorpio, them suckers, if they say they will take it to the grave? They mean it. But Aquarius, this week especially? Not very good at secrets. Not good at all. What did you get me for Xmas? It’s secret? I’ll bet I can figure it out faster than you can hide it.

Now that you understand what this week’s energy is about, makes it a lot easier to work through what’s going on. No secrets this week. You’re not any good at secrets and especially not this week. Means — I would suggest — bluffing at poker wouldn’t be any good.

Aquarius: No secrets, not this next few days.



The Fishes

I opt for a pretty serendipitous way of working. I’ll make notes about an upcoming event, an upcoming astrological event, and I’ll have ideas about how to explain the week’s weirdness quotient. Then, I’ll look something up on the web, out of either my long list of blog sources, which are nothing more than opinions about opinions, or news sources, or even the ubiquitous Wikipedia. Any — or all — of those are valid sources for inspiration. Those are all valid sources for ideas to explain this mess. The problem comes from getting sidetracked, and that’s a high probability in the next few days.

Some of my missions on the side have been spectacular. One comes to mind, easily, the side project.

But diversions are not always good. Therein is the problem, and the challenge and getting through this week’s weirdness quotient. What’s a diversion, what’s a valid serendipitous route, and what is merely messing around, avoiding work?

Questions only your Pisces self can answer, but I’d watch out for the diversions that are merely messing around.



Aries The Ram

I got one Aries fishing buddy, can’t seem to think more than about 20 minutes ahead. Can’t make plans. Can’t do anything that is out of his routine. What happens when his routine is summarily interrupted? Happens. Happen this week. I can easily blame Mercury in Retrograde, but I’m the professional here. There's a secondary (summarily summary) kicker with Mars and Uranus, opposing each other. That takes the typical Aries energy and ratchets it up a notch. Or two. Maybe three. While I tend to see this as not a bad scenario, it is unsettling, uncomfortable, and most important, out of the Aries world of “normal,” which, in my world, carries a distinctly subjective interpretation. So therein is our Aries problem for the week, and here’s the solution: fluid, dynamic plans.

Like this, “If it’s not too cold, let’s fish like we planned, but if that doesn’t work out, if that cold front arrives and it’s too cold to fish, then let’s head over to the big Bass Pro shop in Houston, see what Xmas sales there are, get ready for the spring.”

Aries: Contingency planning, not unlike algorithm, “If/then, if not/then.” A way to plan ahead for the weirdness.



The Bull

Fried Okra. Simple enough? Fried Okra is a favorite food. Not exactly the healthiest of the veggie group, but it was a dietary staple for me, for years and years. Goes good with some BBQ, as an appropriate side dish.

There’s a matter of finding something that goes good with this week’s stars. Mostly, Mercury in Retrograde, in Sagittarius, thank-you-very-much, but there’s extraneous bits still lingering in Scorpio, which, if you were paying attention, is opposite from Taurus, hence the obfuscation.

Fried Okra. Personally, I’m not a big fan of Okra, in its other forms. Always struck me as a slightly slimy veggie, but that might be the way I’ve seen it prepared, Southern-style, for so many years. However, as a tiny, nugget-sized bit that’s battered and deep-fried? It can be oh-so-good. Last time I had it, it was a fine, corn meal batter, and the okra was cold when I finally got to it. However, the fried part was crispy enough, greasy enough, and good enough to overcome the cold part. With Mercury in Retrograde, where it is? That delicacy that soothes the Taurus soul? That might be cold, but that doesn’t stop it from being the right choice.

Fried Okra.



The Twins

Part way through my career as a reader and writer of horoscopes, I came up with what I thought was the perfect analogy. I think about these horoscopes as an experiment. I can test hypothesis about trends, make course corrections, admit defeat, and I can be right. Or wrong, all depends. Someone else has already capitalized on the terms, “Growing up online,” but in part, that’s what my experiment in prose has been about. Couched in the horoscopes, there will be “Less than thinly veiled references” to aspects of my own life. Far from perfect, I make mistakes, and unlike a typical Gemini, I have to make the mistake three or more times before I get it figured out.

In my defense, I do figure it out, eventually. However, I’m not razor-sharp like Gemini, and that creates a problem. Problem for me, anyway.

Mercury is Retrograde — opposite from Gemini. This next week is an experiment. This next week is hypothetical. This next week is Gemini petri dish of life wherein we’re trying a few ideas, getting some stuff accomplished, but we’re unsure of what will be wildly — Gemini style — successful. So follow me, and experiment a little.


The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

Holidays, and the Holiday Cancer Christmas Crush is upon us. One trick to help make this a better Xmas season? Double down on the “immunity” herbs. For me, that means two caps of cayenne, and a local (raw, unfiltered) honey tea, every afternoon. Just about a tablespoon of the local honey helps immensely, and for me, this is my version. Your Moon Child version might vary from what I would do. However, the idea is sound. The holidays create unnatural stress, and stress causes a breakdown in the body’s immune system. As the body’s natural immunities are compromised, it helps immensely to bolster that with chemical, biological, natural, or even unnatural assistance. From an extra dose of Vitamin C, to various herbal teas, to, I know one client, she does a prophylactic round of antibiotics, so this answer depends on whatever lotions, potions, and magic one tends to employ. Think about a preemptive herbal strike to assist the body’s ability to fight infection. I prefer the herbal, holistic approach, but that’s me. Herbal, chemical, biological, holistic health, natural, or unnatural, the Cancer’s week is best if one takes steps to fortify it.

My serious recommendations include, tea sweetened with local, raw, unfiltered honey, cayenne caps, cinnamon caps, turmeric caps, coconut oil caps, vitamin C, and garlic caps. Less sure if this is for health or salad dressing.

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

There are some times when it’s really quite all right to take a spin down memory lane. I was looking up astrological timing for another event, then I decided to pop my own chart next to a few of the big planets. See what was happening when. Pretty interesting, as it forced me to review my personal diary to see what was up. Which is why, as a writer, I keep notes. I can always go back and refer to what I wrote down, about whatever it was that going on. Sometimes business, and in this one example, it was a Venus event I was looking at, what with Venus currently in Sagittarius, it just made sense.

This was astrological research, so I could recall what was happening, who I was dating, and how all of that turned out. Quick glance, a few elements in play and now, for The Leo?

My spin into a moment’s reverie uncovered some useful information, but I spent all of about three minutes, looking up a table in a book, then clicking through on a blog-like diary entry for the time frame. Three minutes, a world of useful information. Here’s the hint, for The Leo: Three minutes stuck in the past. Then, let’s move forward, it’s holiday time, and the littlest planet is retrograde, in Sagittarius, thank-you-very-much.

“I’m so confused!”



The Virgin

This one is tough and it is made tougher by Mercury in Retrograde — in Sagittarius, thank-you-very-much. There’s a sense that there is a punctuation point here, like a period, or a semi-colon, and I think that’s the best way to address the week’s “stuff.”

In the rules of grammar, a semicolon is used when a full-stop period is too final, and the situation requires a break in thought, but not as full as a period. Period.

This week is a semicolon.

There was a movement, where my buddy who does tattoos started to see a lot of folks getting a semicolon on the inside the right or left wrist, with the avowed purpose of being a reminder, that it wasn’t over, just a breath (pause).

With Mercury — Retrograde in Sagittarius — a pause serves well. The story isn’t finished, but a good Virgo needs to pause before proceeding.



The Scales

As Mars exits, and as we get ready for another celestial event, like Saturn about to exit Sagittarius? There’s punctuation in the heavens. There’s punctuation in the local events of the Libra, and there’s a hesitancy that is not well-served. Yes, Mercury is Retrograde, and yes, it is usually a good time to pause, but due to the astrological underpinnings at the moment? For Libra? A pause does you no good. Act. Fold ’em. Take some steps in one direction or another. Sitting around, bemoaning one’s fate does no good. Sitting around, bemoaning the condition of Mercury does one no good, either. It’s a lot worse for me, as a Sagittarius than it is for your Libra self.

Still, there is a spike in activity, and if there isn’t a jump in activity for Libra? Then make it happen.

There’s a single, last task that needs to be finished before too long. Preferably sooner rather than later. I’m just suggesting that you take command and get it done, now. Sooner, rather than later.




Opening a package of coffee beans, as soon as I unsealed the vacuum-packed goodness, the aromatic blend filled the air. It was the rich heady scent of coffee beans. Called a “Blond” roast for some unknown, but I suspect market-driven reason, the particular roast was an especially rich fragrance.

Brewing those beans, though, just tasted like sad, normal coffee. I have perfected several methods for “coffee extraction,” so the methodology, in keeping with the scientific process, that holds up. Just wonderful smelling beans and not really that great of a cup of coffee. All the promise and little less on delivery.

With the current state of Mercury in Retrograde? The promise and expectations, like opening that bag of coffee beans? As the aroma fills the kitchen, the promise is there. Turns out, that promise might’ve been the best part. Delivery was slightly acidic, with bit of an aftertaste that wasn’t all that pleasant. Just typical black coffee in the morning.

Scorpio: the promise is there. Delivery might be a little short. Well, the coffee does have active ingredients like caffeine — so that’s good.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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