Horoscopes starting 1.11.2018

O, learn’d indeed were that astronomer
That knew the stars as I his characters;
He’ld lay the future open. You good gods,
Let what is here contain’d relish of love,
Of my lord’s health, of his content—yet not
That we two are asunder;

    Imogen in Shakespeare’s Cymbeline III.ii.29—

Horoscopes starting 1.11.2018



The Sea Goat

I hold a special reverie for the new moon in Capricorn. For the last decade or so, that new moon is in the same sign as Pluto, if not, on some occasions, aligned near perfectly. Sort of depends. Still, I always a feel a staid, conservative, energy attached to a sign that is ruled by Saturn, which, just as a happy coincidence, is in Capricorn, too.

This energy injects a kind of frantic, frantic dose of hyper—

Some kind of hyper-energy. After a rough close to the end of the last year, we all need something to look forward to, and this lunar phase is a great starting point. Then, too, with that Pluto energy, compounded by Jupiter’s current location? Just adds to the equation. Powerful, and in a good way, if one is willing to engage.

Capricorn: got to give it a try, no matter how long the odds appear to be, it’s worth it to venture that, you know, as they say, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”



The Water Bearer

Through the rheumy eyes of age, some materials always seem to appear way more appealing. “The good, old days,” were they really that good? In some cases, yes, they were, but in other situations, what we are remembering is just a few, cherry-picked highlights, not the realistic version of “then.” This isn’t a new observation from me, but I was listening while a fishing buddy was recounting his glory days, that was college, and his college was right after high school, and the tales are dated. Think: “80’s music.”

While cool in its own right, the dusty trip down memory lane is hazardous as the way the narrative mutates and changes. “That was so cool,” if you pause long enough, you will also recall that the bathrooms at that one place were beyond scary. You would go next door to the 24-hour gas station, as that seemed cleaner. Again, this is about what we want to remember, compared to what it was really like, “Back in the day.”

Aquarius: be wary of the stories of the “Good, old days, when things were better.” Simply put? Not always. Carefully about what we’re remembering.



The Fishes

Personally, I’m fond of the idea that an item should be used, primarily, for its intended purpose. For example? Casual wear. Casual wear, maybe what used to be called “leisure wear,” or some similar moniker? I’m in favor of that being used in leisure settings. Athletic wear? For athletic endeavors. One buddy likes to wear “fishing shirts” for just about every situation. Can’t fault him for that, as they tend to be comfortable, and festooned with a number of pockets for every imaginable object one might want to stuff in a shirt pocket.

I live in place where shorts, sandals, and similar attire is considered formal enough. Passes for something between casual and dressy, and the work for me, as the shorts were designed to be worn as shorts in moderate weather. My sandals vary, but they are all mostly all-terrain, which is perfect for any urban adventure.

So I dress in attire that is appropriate to my station in life, and reflects my immediate surroundings, be that professional or social. Austin, too, was, at one time, aggressively casual, but that’s changed recently.

So following my thoughts here, about wearing what is appropriate, the outside covering for this week’s Pisces Life should be an accurate reflection of the seasons, the current climate, and the station in the Pisces life. Outside should reflect the inner-landscape. No, outer landscape should reflect the covering.



Aries The Ram

Locally, the idea was to do more yoga to reduce stress. However, with the way this year has started out? “Yeah, we were going to go to yoga every day, but then, we found that wine was good, too.” So now, the afternoon coffee group sits around in yoga pants and pounds down bottles of wine.

    My people.

As an Aries, what’s the message from this suggestion?

“Drink more wine.”

That wasn’t the direction I was suggesting, but, you know, if it works?

I was back at the yoga thing, and it doesn’t have to be yoga, but some kind of motion, movement, and exercise is what is required.

“I’m using my elbow, doesn’t that count?”

Cheers baby, you look great in yoga pants (that last observation might just be me).



The Bull

There’s a type of prognostication that I’m none too fond of — client approaches me with a certain outcome in mind. No, not an outcome from me, but the person has a certain destination in mind. There is a given answer, and unless I arrive at that answer, I’m wrong.

My problem is that I read what I see, not always the destination that the client wants me to arrive at. Which is a challenge, and it’s even more wryly amusing when I’m not even clued in on what that destination is.

As a hint, and this isn’t just for me, but as a hint, Taurus? Give us a clue. Show us a definitive sign, a gesture, a statement that includes where you want us to be. If you don’t tell us what the desired conclusion is, we might not be able to make it there. Got to tell us what you want. The more precise? The better.

Tags on this are Jupiter and Mars — in Scorpio.



The Twins

Better late than never? Better late than sorry? No, “Better late than never,” Im going with that first version. Mercury, your Gemini planet, no longer in apparent retrograde motion, and the phase of the moon, just now turning new in Aquarius, Capricorn. Anyway, between that and Jupiter’s location and the rush from Mars? New stuff, finally.

The official Gemini new year has arrived, a few days, what is this almost a week late? In regular Gemini time, that’s, like, forever, am I right?

Let us turn copious and multitudinous Gemini energies, let’s get this all focused on that issue at work. Work, career, job. All of those things. One of them. Most of them. I tend to use the term “job” and “career” interchangeably because my career and my day job are the same, I write horoscopes, I fish, and I do readings.

Three different elements that combine to make my living, my career, and my day job. All the same to me. As a Gemini, though, let’s back up and check to see if those three items are the same. If not? Then use that energy to address each and everyone on the list. Day job, career, work. All of that needs attention, now that we’re really ready to settle into the new year.


The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

I am unsure what the name of this effect is, but I’m sure there’s both a technical and lay expression. The woman in question is a dancer, does a variant of hoop dancing — no, not pole dancing — but the material is a cross between classical modern dance, something with belly dancing origins, and part modern, with a sprinkling, I might be wrong, but the Native Americans also had a hoop dance of sorts, think it was from the Pueblo branches.

In person, the hoop dancer is kind of a plain-looking woman, no remarkable features unless one notices the sinewy, taut, dancer muscles. But she doesn’t move like a typical dancer. Until she grabs her hoops. Look like plain Hula Hoops to me, but in her hands? She transforms, the hoops transform, and there’s a hidden beauty that shines through. Digging around on her website, I found an allusion to “ecstatic dance,” and I figured that was the clue. However, this week — for the Moon Children — like the dancer? When engaged in the flow, when properly in the flow, when she’s dancing, she shimmers and glows. To me, she looks prettier, which just shows how shallow I am, but this isn’t about me, this is about Cancer, and the results of being engaged.

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

“Dude, check it out, you site’s server is so slow,” he said, whipping out his phone and finger-tapping in, “a-s-t-r-o-f-i-s-h-.-n.e.t.”

“Now watch,” he tapped his wrist, where a watch should be, then he tapped a saved button thing on his phone, and his site pulled up. His site was static, and was probably still nestled in the phone’s browser’s memory — the way that works? His phone shoots out a query, checks to see that nothing has changed, then pulls the data from the cache on-board the phone itself.

My site is dynamically rendered, due to the ever-changing sky, and the way I opted to have my material delivered.

I saw this as a trick and I know what the guy was selling, and, for that, not a service I was keenly interested in subscribing to. As a slick demonstration, though, it was good.

The Leo: I call it, “cherry-picking,” and in the example? The guy was cherry-picking what data was being compared. Not altogether fair, it spins this in a directions that pitcher wants.

The Leo: Pick the data that you choose to display, pick that data carefully.



The Virgin

Was it last year? Or maybe the year before? Yeah, the year when Jupiter was in Virgo, that was the year that my Virgo buddy swore he was going to “Get it all together.” You know, he was going start working out — regularly. Eating healthy — regularly. Pay attention to his bills, reduce debt, and manage his finances in a more responsible manner. Save some for the future. Didn’t happen, was that three years ago, now? So, two years ago, “This is the year!” So, last year, remember? “Finally, this is the year that I’ll do all the right stuff!”

    Yeah, I know one Virgo Girl, and the new years’ resolutions have already been shattered.

However, there is new, and improved, starting point as this New Moon, with its proprietary Dark Moon Magic, is as good a chance to begin again. Refresh those goals, and maybe, be a little more realistic about the choices. Set a goal that is more — closer — to the Virgo grasp. Realistic goals. Realistic goals result in realistic results. Can’t do it all, although, at least one Virgo I know will insist she can — and she’ll continue to have those same problems.



The Scales

I have a simple expression that might work. “Not this week, baby.” See, there are a couple of planet-type energies exerting force on Libra’s psyche. These have divergent, and not altogether compatible drives, pushing and pulling on the Libra’s desire for balance. You get pushed into a corner by one, then desire greater freedom of expression, then, you want to edit this mess. Doesn’t work that way.

I started with the expression, as guideline, not a rule, but as Libra idea for the week ahead?

“Not this week, baby.”

It is not a definite, “No way, ever!” However, it does have some leeway in its uses. Maybe it could happen this week, if you don’t push too hard. However, as a decent Libra outlook for the next couple of days, the Moon, the Sun in Capricorn, the rest of this mess, the planets in Scorpio, all of it?

Maybe, “Not this week, baby?”




Think back, Scorpio, think back, maybe, what six weeks back? Journey with me down the corridors of the Scorpio memory, to a time in the distant past, you know, a few weeks ago. Last year, even.

    Mercury was retrograde then. Much hilarity did ensue.

There’s a message you tried, valiantly, to get across to someone. The receiving party didn’t seem to grasp the importance of the Scorpio communique.

Much hilarity did ensue. Maybe, as the Scorpio portion of this equation, the transmitter, not the receiver, maybe you don’t see the humor herein. Maybe you should see the humor, but that’s not what this is about. Maybe we just call it good, and as an idea, let’s revisit what was supposed to be in the message from before.

This new moon in Capricorn sets up a good moment to review the missive, the Scorpio missive, and we get a chance to rethink a different way to send the same message.

Extra Scorpio hint: Sending the same message the same way doesn’t count.




It’s a complicated answer to a simple, Sagittarius question. The way I see it?

For Sagittarius, take delight in the mundane. Instead of lifting our eyes to the heavens, and beholding the majesty of the roof of our world, sometimes, the real glory is right underneath our Sagittarius hooves. Instead of looking for the big picture, big-ticket, larger-than-life images, sometimes, like this next few days? Let’s look under our feet.

As I frequently point out, Sagittarius is half-man, half-horse’s ass, as the centaur. So that means we’re quite possibly quadrupedal, which, in turn, gives us twice as many feet as any other sign, at the moment. The trick is to find the magic in the everyday.

Or, in order to make this a better week then a better year?

Take delight in the mundane.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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