Horoscopes starting 1.25.2018

    Great lords, wise men ne’er sit and wail their loss,
    But cheerly seek how to redress their harms.
    What though the mast be now blown overboard,
    The cable broke, the holding-anchor lost,
    And half our sailors swallow’d in the flood?
    Yet lives our pilot still.

Queen Margaret in Shakespeare’s Henry VI, pt. 3, V.ii.1-6

Horoscopes starting 1.25.2018



The Water Bearer

Left over luxury, cigars I no longer smoke. “Curly heads,” if I recall. I should do some fact checking on that. Probably not going to happen, either, the fact-checking on the name of the cigars themselves. Much as I love the idea, yeah, I’m kind of off that sort of substance, now. However, there was a time when a good, cheap cigar was the way to go. I could puff on one of those things all morning, and they cost — maybe $2. Same type of tobacco as an expensive cigar, just had flaws or errors in the hand rolling. Or the wrapper. “Seconds” might be a better term.

Tasted just as good, lasted just as long, smoked just as smooth, all good so far? Sure. Didn’t have the fancy label, and didn’t have the nice box. Still, for a good smoke that was — relatively — inexpensive? It was the way to go.

Tasted just as good, served the exact same purpose, and cost a fraction of what the name brand cost.

And that’s the proper Aquarius answer to the week ahead. A good, cheap cigar. Just as good as an expensive one, but costs about a quarter. Labels don’t matter, all about the flavor. Besides a good cigar can help clear one’s head by clearing the room.


Some habits are to break. I got into the practice of listening to dramatic readings of Shakespeare’s works. It’s helped my understanding of the plays, and it’s helped my ongoing education. In one play, recently, I heard a passage I’d read — quoted frequently — and it was delivered very differently from the way I read it. When I read it the first time, then again, more recently, as a source for a quote, I “hear” it in my head, one way. The delivery was very, very different. Emphasis was placed in different places, the pacing wasn’t the way I would do it, and, I’m pretty sure, I’ve seen at least one staged version that was done the way I thought it should be done. Or the way I interpret it. But hearing that passage done so differently?

This is about interpretations. The example is one I’ve been taught, several times now, and it bears repeating for Pisces — the nuances of interpretation.

The first time I heard it, I kept thinking, “Wrong, not like that at all,” but the second time? Easy enough to see how it does fit, and the passage conveys the correct meaning.

Pisces: this week is subjective. Probably no really wrong intrpretations, but you might find some of this jarring as it goes against preconceived notions.


“Meh.” No, seriously, there was a business, and its name is/was “Meh.” It’s a daily sales list, and I would get a single email in the morning, telling me that there was something for sale, and then, some entertaining, but some useless material about this and that, with topical references to current events.

The sales page itself? A few words about the product, its price on Amazon, its suggested retail price, and then, the super-low discount price. I clicked a few days late, and the object was gone Some good. Some bad. Some tech toys. Some housewares.

In one corner was a daily video, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometime related to the daily sale, and sometimes, just amusing.

As a gimmick, the whole thing works, and works well. They acquire a finite amount of some product, write up an amusing anecdote, price the item super cheap, then sell until it’s all gone. Some items sell out in as little as an hour or three, and I don’t know how long the other end is, maybe never. Some crap might never sell.

The way the method works, though, the plan? Sell one thing, every day. Have a funny, amusing, informative sales page. Simple and effective. But sell one product, only.

Aries: Concentrate. Concentrate on one item only. One sales page per Aries object.

Aries success depends on one thing at time. Like the example? Doesn’t even have to be done well, but it has to be one thing at a time.


The hairdresser rule, part — I don’t know. I lost track. Lost count. Anyway, one client is big time hair stylist. Owns her own shop, brands and stuff. Originally, though, when I first met her, she was working in the mall.

The rule, as she explained to me, has to do with client retention and attrition.

“Every time I switch salons, and one time, we just moved to a new location, didn’t change companies, but every move loses up to 40% of the clientele.”

Every move loses up to 40% of the clientele — harsh, hard numbers.

There is loss and natural attrition associated with this week’s motions. I’d rather not lose 40% of clientele — but I’m not Taurus and I’m not moving.

Taurus: have you looked at the numbers?


“Man, I’ve been tossed under the bus by (insert euphemism for that boss) so many times? He opens his mouth, I just lie down on the pavement, now.”

As a good Gemini, and you’re reading this, so we’re good, but as the good Gemini, we’re looking at a situation that feels like you’re about to be tossed under that bus again. How are you going to take this?

Laying down?

Lying down, not laying down.

There comes a time when a tactical retreat, voluntary sacrificing the few, for the benefit of the many? A single step backwards, to some, and no Gemini ever likes to step backwards, but a single step backwards, fall back to a stronger position?

Feels like you’ve been tossed under the bus again.

“I ought to just go an lie on the pavement, huh.”

Not really, but a single step back, a tactical retreat, a two-step backwards so there can three forward? That’s this week’s dance. For Gemini.

For the good Gemini.

“I don’t know; still looks like I need stretch out on the pavement in front of that bus...”


At the tail-end of this scope, Mr. Mercury moves from Capricorn to Aquarius. Looking at the wheel, that’s a shift opposite from Cancer.

If there’s been a lack of clarity? Then that will change. If there’s been a lack of laser-like focus? That will change, too. If you’ve been hyper-focused on one thing, one project, one person?

Then that’ll broaden. If you’ve been trying to focus on just one item, then the intensity returns, three-fold, and is better. If you’ve been too focused, then your scope broadens.

It’s really s simple way of seeing this, but it works remarkably well, considering.

Cancer: “Considering,” considering is the goal. Either broaden the reach or narrow the scope. Whatever is the opposite of what you’ve been doing.

The Leo

Perfect warm morning drink? Coffee — double espresso — and a small squeeze of honey. I was watching when a local coffee maker person was squeezing honey packets into a little cup, then just pulling espresso on top.

“Double with honey, that’s all. Actually,” smiling, “it’s pretty good.”

Something sweet, but not sugary sweet, with the dulcet tones of fresh espresso on top? No diary to confuse the flavors?

There is, indeed, one Leo — here’s to you — and this drink idea is the perfect concept to get you motivated, and keep you motivated, the rest of the week.

The Leo: Anything helps, right? Certainly worth a shot. Loathe as I am to repeat it, the Starbucks’ version? “Dopio with honey, hot.”


“That’s probably best if you don’t mention that,” is the comment, I’ll hear it often. Variations on a theme? “Maybe better if you left that part out?” Here’s my Virgo challenge, at the moment, the part I should leave out? The bit that should be played over, silently, in our mind? Not out loud, not out of our mouth, not from our fingertips, but just silent?

It might be better to
beg forgiveness instead
of asking permission...

But this is one of those weeks when silence is golden,and anything else?

Like I suggested?

“It’s probably best if you don’t mention that?”

Now you know. Interior monologues are best served as ‘interior monologues,‘ not as staged soliloquies.

“It’s probably best if you don’t mention that.”


“It tastes just like a churro!” Buddy was explaining about a new dessert option, that was less a new dessert and more along the lines of just a slightly different combination of existing elements. Sweet potato and cinnamon, and some fresh cream, probably maple sugars, too. I don’t recall. My taste buds aren’t capable of scientific, spectrographic results.

What tickled me, “it tastes just like a churro,” comment. Churros are, as near as I can tell, extruded flour, or flour-like dough, deep-fried, and then? Sugar and cinnamon.

The secret ingredient isn’t secret. Sugar, or sugars of various ilk, like maple sugars, or brown sugars, but sugar — in on stripe or another — and cinnamon. All it takes.

This week, for Libra, all it requires a simple, secret ingredient, or, in my example, two. Simple secret ingredients, can be as easy as sugar and cinnamon, not a complex answer, but a simple answer — simple ingredients — for a complex problem.

“Wow, this tastes different, what is it?”


In the course of my lifetime, I’ve lived in a number of places. Essentially, three state, mostly, just the southwestern US, Texas (home), New Mexico, and Arizona. I was in Arizona when the University’s football team outsold the pro (NFL franchise) team. Dallas and Houston have an intense rivalry, as does Austin and College Station. I can recite the teams’ names, but that’s about it. After so much time in Austin? I just mumble, “Go longhorns,” as I am a fan, less by formal association, and more by accretion.

The one team that I learned to like, even though it’s not even a sport I know much about? San Antonio Spurs. Basketball. I know nothing about the sport, not a big fan, but the team itself engenders a fervent kind of loyalty I’ve not seen with other professional sports. In part, I suppose, it is because San Antonio didn’t have a pro football team. But in part, this “religious-like” fan-base is the result of years of hard work. For many years, the one “star player” was not a star at all, just an ordinary guy, well, an ordinary 7-foot guy who was atheletically gifted, but more important, he was a team player. Not about a single star, but about the team as a whole.

One would suppose that it was the culture as dictated by the franchise owners and the coaching staff, and that might be the source, but what shows on the outside is an insane loyalty to the team, as well as a religious-like adoration.

Coaches and owners dictate the way the “corporate culture” turns out, but then, after the pieces are in play, the background work goes largely unnoticed. That’s special message for Scorpio, moving forward, even now. Put the pieces in play, then see how that develops. Don’t mess around with the internal parts, and remember, you’re a team player. It’s like the San Antonio Spurs.


Various aspects of the current vogue of “Social Media” are necessary evils. All a part of modern life. Bottom of my various contact pages, there are numerous outlets that are listed. FaceBook and Twitter are the most common citations for this type of media, but there are a half-dozen, or more, now linked and alluded to. In its day, I’ve been a part of the various formats that have grown, metastasized, shrunk, and then disappeared. Nothing left but digital dust. Some win; some lose.

Sagittarius: some of us are still here.

Two tricks work, and I’m passing these along as otherwise, as Sagittarius, you’ll forget.

One: limit engagement. Best example is I tap two or three of the Social Media data flows in the morning, but I limit my engagement. Less than five minutes. More like a glance through the front page to see what’s news, see who did what to whom, and see if there is anything that has an immediate impact on my world.

Two: be available. More like, at the bottom of the page, in most of my bio material online, in various forms of contact, there’s a listing of ways to contact me. Phone, e-mail, and various social media handles.

As a Sagittarius, and moving forward, a coherent strategy is necessary, times being what they are, and the planets, where they are. The simplest is my two-prong approach, limit engagement, but be available on as many fronts as possible.



Largely due to my inquisitive nature, I like watching the credits roll, for both TV and movies. The term I ran across? “Show runner.” It’s been more than a decade since I was backstage at a TV show. I have no idea how that currently works.

As a Capricorn, though, you need a “show runner” to help coordinate Capricorn things.

This kind of assistance insures that your minions get fed, the catering crew is in the right location, the street is blocked off for that one desolate shot, and that the Capricorn crews are all in their right places at the correct time.

Me, I’m not Capricorn, but I prefer a digital assistant. With a digital assistant, there’s a lot less back talk, less trouble, and the only annoying feature is that I get a reminder on my phone, tablet, desktop computer, reminding me of the obligations.

That digital assistant is my Sagittarius show runner.

Capricorn: who — what — works as the Capricorn Show Runner? You know you want one. You know you need one. You know you like one.

Let’s get organized!

I would date a Virgo for this one. But that’s me.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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