Horoscopes 5.10.2018

Too hot, too hot!
To mingle friendship far is mingling bloods.

    Leontes in Shakespeare’s
    The Winter's Tale (I.i.9-10)

NB: Mexican Mother’s Day — 5/10. Mars enters the tropical zodiac sign of Aquarius 5.15.2018.

Horoscopes starting 5.10.2018



The Bull

Ever look at the pictures of stuff, like, a recipe, online? The finished dish is always beautiful, colorful, neatly arranged, and the kitchen in the background: All neat and tidy. Perhaps a little bit of flour is strategically dusted across a prep surface but yeah, all of that? Totally staged. My experience? The end product never looks like those cute pictures online.

I think there’s a website devoted to comparisons of images of what the finished project should look like, and what the epic fail does look like.

Perhaps in a more Taurus comparison, it’s the collection of images of what the advertising shows fast-food is supposed to look like, and then the reality of what gets served? Imagine an image: tasty burger with fresh lettuce and juices glistening on the patty, ripe, red tomato slice, fresh-baked bun.

Now look at the last burger I pulled from a bag, smushed bread, greenish tomato, wilted lettuce. Soggy bun from having absorbed too much grease. Not nearly the same thing that was displayed on the menu.

As we celebrate the Taurus birthdays, be more aware of “promised” appearance and “real” appearance. Just helps to adjust the Taurus (birthday) expectations.



The Twins

Familiar expression? Familiar sentiment? “We’ll clean it up in post.” “Post” refers to “post production,” or, in other words, “we’ll fix this later. Not now.” The deal is, I was looking at some “artwork” — graphic files — I use on a website. I had, my intentions were in place, to fix a few stray problems with the images, you know, run them through a few filters, tweak the original source files then make them look better? Pop the colors; make the hues sing. Best of intentions on my part, I was going to clean those images up in “post.” That was always the plan. As a Gemini, know where this is going?

As a Gemini, the plan is, was, the plan was to clean this up in post-production. That was the plan. That was the very Gemini plan. However, would you look at that, over there? Something came up! Or this? See how this goes? Easily distracted means, yes, I know we’ve been meaning to get back and clean up this thing, place, or, in my example just fix a few graphic files, but it hasn’t happened yet, and the way this week is falling apart, well, not falling apart, really, just — too many distractions. If we could get someone else to fix this stuff, but the only person who can do it is your fine Gemini self, and you promised to clean up in post-production. Why hasn’t that happened?

I warned you about these distractions. I have a better, more pressing concerns at the moment — I don’t have time to tweak individual graphic files.


The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

When I have to answer a question, just a single time, especially if it is astrologically intriguing, I enjoy the challenge. However, if I have to answer the same question two or three times, it gets a bit dull for me. When I find myself repeating the same data, over and over, it’s just the first clue that I should commit that material to print. Write it up and make it available to answer everyones’ questions, which all seem the same. Towards that, goal, answering everyone’s questions, I pulled together a book on two topics, one was Mercury in Retrograde — astrofish.net/mrx, and another was about what signs get along with what signs. In the event you are too pecuniary and penurious, there are free texts — by me — available online. However, this isn’t about me or books I write to answer the same questions, over and over, no this is about my Moon Children, all of you guys, and Saturn (plus Mars) in Capricorn.

What got me thinking about this was a Cancer getting upset t the stupid questions, over and over. Pause long enough to write that answer up, or record it on your phone, or get some kind of an air horn, next time someone asks? Short blast, “And the answer has stayed the same!”

A laugh tracks, easily available online, maybe laugh-track is all you need. Someone asks the question, just play that back. Or, you could write the book. That’s an idea, too. All to keep from smacking sone who keeps asking the same question, over and over.

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

“Free prize in every box!” I am totally unsure if that actual phrase translates to the current crop of my readers, but it is always worth a shot. As the majestic and wonderful Leo, otherwise known to me as “The Leo”, there’s a hook, a line, a phrase that pays, and the trick is to understand the bigger picture.

The “Free Prize in Every Box,” if you pause, there is nothing “free” about that prize, its associated cost was figured into the cost then price of the box of whatever product that was, and the prize itself isn’t free. Its cost is covered by the what is paid. Similar, an example straight from me, I offered “Free shipping and handling on all digital products!” Hint: I hit “send” on an email program. If I have to walk over to the post office, and mail a physical object, I do charge shipping and handling. Which is why I deal in so much that is intangible.

This next week? It’s about making sure that your wonderful Leo self doesn’t fall for the line, “Free Prize in Every Box!” Here’s the deal: there is a prize in the box, but that price isn’t free. You paid for it when you bought the box. Increasingly litigious rules have rendered some advertising obsolete, but still, it is easy to get tripped up by an offer of a free prize.

Really, if you want to look at it like this, The Leo should be the prize.



The Virgin

I have a few moves that are horrendously bad Fang Sway. Not that it ever bothered me, either. I am as I am, and I do as I do, because, well, that’s me. However, I’m not Virgo; although, to be honest, I’ve dated more Virgo than any other sign. I am very Virgo-compliant, as they might say.

Never underestimate the value of an intimate understanding of Virgo, let’s look at that, plus my aforementioned horrendously bad “Fang Sway” moves. One of my old business cards — because the corners of the logo were rounded where they should’ve been square, that card had horrible “fang-sway,” according to my experts. Self-styled “experts,” I might add, accredited by an organization that they created themselves.

Cyclical. However, despite my bad feng-shui, I liked the look and feel. A number of my clients remarked how they also liked the look and feel, but it was an odd look. While I’m a big fan of the “Art snd Science of placement,” getting one’s chi aligned with whatever? There are times — like right now — that call for bending, breaking, or otherwise modifying the rules. Just the next few days. I didn’t say break any rules, what I suggested was bending, re-aligning, or modifying, but no, don’t break the Virgo rules.



The Scales

There’s always one. In my case — this time — it’s an old coffee t-shirt. “Raven’s Brew, served in bed, strong enough to wake the dead.” The shirt itself is several decades old. The screen print is faded and cracking, and yet, I can’t seem to let go of the shirt. I recall who I was with, where I was, when I bought that T-shirt. That dates it to certain woman who was, at the time, a “love interest,” and it gives a location for a, off-the-grid assignation. The coffee brand itself was only marginal by current standards, but the logo and associated artwork sold it. A mock skeleton rising from a coffin, the bony hand gripping a mug of steaming black coffee. It’s easy to see why I like the logo, darkly humorous and covering a favorite subject.

Should that t-shirt be turned into a rag for polishing boots and brass? Or otherwise recycled?

Weighing the question, like this, there’s a very Libra-like response required. Ask if that sentimental value outweighs carting that old t-shirt around, having it take up space in the closet, then balance that against space, time, storage solutions, weighing in with the sentimental value.

In this simple example, perhaps over-simplified, I came down on the side of sentimental value, plus artistry, cool logo and all, as a winner.

Your mileage may vary, for now. Might change.




Speaking with a client, a Scorpio client, we were amused as she avoided a call on her phone. I glimpsed the name. Previously, we had been discussing a real estate deal. Not a big deal, but a deal.

“Ex-husband? Aren’t you supposed to have his house?”

“You would think, no, the rat-bastard finally got what he had coming. He’s homeless.”

As a Scorpio, given the influence of Retrograde Jupiter, maybe right now isn’t the time to gloat. OK, privately, to me, it is all right to gloat, maybe a little. But that’s it.

“Yeah, he calls and tries yo worm is way back in when he’s on the rocks with the current girlfriend.”

I know enough about human nature, that I have tried to win back an ex-lover, with no success, and that a Scorpio, once crossed? Don’t even think about it.

My friend, avoiding the calls? That’s a nice Scorpio, just ducking the calls.




There is a love/hate understanding I have with phones and telephony technology. These days, everything is digital. Pick up a digital phone and pop in my digits, and that will leave a digitally recorded message that gets delivered electronically to me. All bits and bytes, while rather dated terminology is rooted in arcane analog antecedents, the actual technology is not analog at all.

We’re all digital now.

We still dial a phone, that phone still rings. All of this because I was going to use my own phone as an example of how to handle this week’s Sagittarius mess of a time. As Mars gets ready to shift into Aquarius — we like Aquarius — use a setting that I have on my phone: silence. The setting is triggered by a “silent mode” button. To take that silence one step further? To insure quiet and peaceful solitude in my own world? I have the settings on my phone adjusted so that the “Shut Up” button turns off all outbound/inbound audio, vibrational side-effects. Only way to know that the phone is ringing? Have to see it. So if I’m in a meeting, or working with someone? Unless I am looking at the screen of the phone? I have no way to know that it was on, or I was being rung, or buzzed, or whatever it is called this week. Back more than a decade past, in trailer park, I had a land-line that was hooked up to a flasher. Originally as a deaf-assistive device, it was particularly useful for me, as I could nap through the phone “ringing,” and not be bothered. As Sagittarius, we need a way — to shut the world out this week — to shut the phone off without turning it off.

“Lesave me a message at the beep.”



The Sea Goat

Looking at familiar face in a coffee shop, I was trying to figure out where I knew the guy from. I recognized his voice, sort of, he had a distinctive “East Coast” accent — see Aquarius about that. But the guy was out of uniform. Not a little, a lot. He had no hat on, and the uniform was all wrong. I didn’t recognize him at all.

“God is in the details,” yeah, just ask the Virgo section of the chart about that one, but sometimes, the details are easy to miss. I was looking, sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place his face. After working in and around these towns for so long, I’ve done face-to-face readings for so many people, there are some times I don’t connect a face, a voice, and a chart. I couldn’t place any of them.

In this simple example, it was because the uniform was missing. Uniform and chef’s hat. Guy is usually on the line — sous chef is the proper term — at place I know. But out of context? I couldn’t place his face, and it bugged me.

Simple example for Capricorn, right? Can’t place it? Something as simple as shading, coloring, or even just a uniform? Makes all the difference.



The Water Bearer

For me, it’s always amusing, in a wry, dry way, to encounter harsh accents from “Up north.” The gruff, direct, and clipped yankee accent always amuses me. Stands out in sea of southern and more recently, faux southern drawls. Over time, my accent tends to acclimate and adapt to whatever the local dialect is, although, under pressure, I started to mimic a native Texas Twang.

There are subtle — verbal — shadings in accents between various regions in my native Texas. Being raised, originally in deep East Texas, there’s a more southern lilt to the tones, and further west, it gets to be more nasal, with longer vowels. The nuances of the language is what is important, in a week like this. I find the “yankee accent” more amusing as I have several friends — a neighbor, even — been here for more than two decades, and yet, still sports that “yankee accent.” Pride, roots, upbringing, early childhood conditioning is my bet — but whatever the source? It is still amusing, to me. As an Aquarius, there’s an ingrained habit, carried forward. Like language, or more important, like the accent. Like my buddy, with his gruff, “New York Accent,” we can struggle against this, or, we can accept that he sounds like he just walked out of the Bronx. Brooklyn. One of those.



The Fishes

Setting up for a show, just an afternoon gig, I rolled in with a briefcase, and not much else. I’ve been at this a while. I want for not much at all. One of the other vendors was unloading, and it took a while, as she had carton after carton of rocks. Gems, minerals, crystals, jewels, jewelry, figurines, and so forth. She had a telltale pair of wires dangling from earbuds. She nodded at me, smiled, and kept on unloading. Doing the load-in. Part of the gig. I wanted to speak to the woman, as I had some message, her image had popped in meditation — or something. She was blithely working away, lifting, toting, carting, then, unpacking and arranging. She motioned but continued, unperturbed by my attempt at interaction. We’re in the same show, not the same product, but similar goods. I’ve worked alongside her for years. I wasn’t the least bit put off by her apparent dismissal. Eventually, she paused, popped the earbuds out, thin strains of heavy metal leaked out of the earpieces. “Sorry, I was in the zone with set-up, what’s up?” We chatted, I let her know I understood that I wasn’t dissed when she glossed over me during her load-in. A few weeks later, I was loading in, and I was listening to the tail-end of a Shakespeare play, Act 5, scene 3? There were only minutes left on the denouement. Someone approached me, and I waved, but went about setting up because I was trying to get to the end of the play. Both examples are two sides of the same sitution, apparently busy until the job at hand is finished. So, this week’s energy, for Pisces? Stay focused until the job is done.



Aries The Ram

Reading an article, online, about ZZ Top, and their guitars, I recall a story, told by an older Austin musician. The singer telling the story, he’s not in Austin these days, and the situation? It was a casual conversation.

Way the musician explained it, ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons, he was legendary for this ability, he could pick up any stringed instrument and make it wail, cry, and sing. Mostly the blues, but just about any tone. Whatever the song required, he could tease it out of anything. Give him a barrel and some shoestrings, and he would have it moaning when he played it. The story would be apocryphal except I heard this from a blues man himself.

Since then, I’ve heard enough anecdotal evidence to support the claim. As an Aries what does a Taurus Bluesman, some band who never learned more than three chords, what does that have to do with Aries moving forward in the next few days?

The instrument didn’t matter. Any tool, in the right hands, will do. Any tool. There is nothing further that you need to buy to get this job done. Think about that legend, any guitar, and think about your Aries self, any tool that gets it done. Doesn’t have to be a specific one.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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