Horoscopes starting 5.24.2018

“Winning will put any man into courage.”

    Cloten in Shakespeare’s Cymbeline (II.iii.4)

Horoscopes starting 5.24.2018

N.B.: updated Updated terms of service, the “fineprint.”

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


For close to three decades, I’ve been calculating astrology charts and then, interpreting the results of the calculations. Part science, part metaphysical, and part human. Every time I open my mouth, I have no plan. Some days, I’m just as surprised as the next person, as to what falls out. Some days, it surprises me to hear what I’m saying as much as it catches the recipient off-guard. Do this long enough, and I get accustomed to it. Well, sort of. Some days, even now, I still surprise myself with what I say. The challenge being, once I’ve said it? Once the “Cat is out of the bag?” Once that material is launched, there is no way to un-launch, retract, or otherwise, suck it back in. In other words, there is no way to un-say it. This is a cautionary tale for my lovely — happy birthday — Gemini friends. I tend to open my mouth, and let my little demons do the talking, or the subconscious, or whatever. “You didn’t think that one through, did you?” I rarely do. Surprises me as much as it surprises them. However, although this works for my style? As a birthday — Gemini-time — person? That style of being surprised at what comes out of your mouth? Might not be the best course, but just for the time being. And, again, Happy Birthday.

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab


With the summer getting on, and the heat arriving in full furnace mode, me and buddy were talking fishing techniques. All about how land a particular bait, in special place, and how to manipulate the pole so that the bait itself can works its magic. While I’ve used a similar reference before, when I spun up your planets in a chart and looked? All I could think was “Fishing.” He used to suggest a “Two-count” pause, after the bait had settled on the bottom, or settled in the weeds, wherever the bait was supped to be settled. Then jiggle the tip. Two count. One two. Hear the problem, or see the possible misunderstanding?

While I thoroughly enjoy — think — I’m from Texas, while I enjoy classic country crooners as much as the next feller? Like the old Austin Singer-Songwriter group? That is hardly the extent of all that I listen to. For years, I had an EDM kick, as it was the perfect music for what I was doing at the time. Lately, it’s been opera, heavy, German opera, and that’s more cult-like than some religions. Again, not what this is about. Back to the EDM — Electronic Dance Music — as a popular type of music I was listening to. At length. For a long time. Ingrained in some of my systems, that EDM, in various guises. A country crooner uses a pedantic, stately and elegant 4/4 beat that is measured, calm and precise. That EDM is rushed and hurried. So, to my country-music-listening buddy? A “two-count” means a certain amount of time. In my mind, moving at the EDM rate, a two count is not much of a pause, barely a blink of eye, if that long. So, translated?

Cancer: You need to pause for a two-count, in my buddy’s terminology, and for two full measures, the 4 x 4 beats crammed into a two full measures, not a beat, but a whole measure, and I’m guessing, that’s a whole two measures in the EDM. The musical reference, once I figured it out? Well, the results of fishing, the images are the website — someplace. Fish. In order to catch the fish? Or whatever your Cancer self is fishing for? Let it pause a whole two measures before you do anything.

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo


There is a plurality, a duality to everything — especially now! The good balanced by the bad; the beautiful balanced by the ugly; the dark balanced by the light — the yin and the yang (to some). One Leo, nominally, The Leo will affix a steely gaze upon my face and say, “No. Absolute. Must have an answer, now.” Would that I could, but there isn’t. See, the Sun is in Gemini, and the dual heavy hitters — Saturn and Pluto — are in Capricorn. Means a “definite maybe” is lot more useful than a “for sure yes” or “definite no.”

“Maybe, baby,” is the best way to go. Be a little more fluid, a little more dynamic, and little less resolute. It helps to be bendable. Think: foldable. Mars is in opposition to The Leo. This is setting up for a long-running series of events that might feel, at the time, as if they are not going your way, The Leo way. That’s why I suggested fluid and not as committed to just one outcome, as the way this does unfold? Might be better if your majestic Leo self is willing to be amenable to a different, but equally desireable, outcome.

Virgo

Virgo

The Virgin


One of the most endearing attributes, and explains — a lot — about my eclectic tastes, but one of the more attractive qualities about Virgo? That ability to analyze. In traditional, Western Tropical Zodiac astrology, Mercury is the Virgo planet. Razor-sharp analytical skills. Mental acuity and agility. With that as a set-up, though, I hope the rest of this is easy to extrapolate. The predominant Virgo brain power thing is liable to overwhelm in the next few days. There’s a marked propensity towards over-thinking a certain situation. That’s a slippery slope I’m unsure I want to go down, and I am sure that I don’t want my Virgo (brain) to start on that descent.

Once you head down that pathway, once you turn off the main road, once you detour into the “Maybe this, maybe that, and have you thought about ....” Once you start over-analyzing, over-thinking, and over-mentally-stimulating that situation? There is no coming back. Yes, in our current events, there’s plenty of evidence of people who — obviously — don’t think things through, but their lack of forethought is not the Virgo problem. The choices, and I’m laying this out clearly, I hope, the Virgo course-of-action is just that. Take action. Don’t think it through. Do it. You have a 50/50 chance of the being correct. Then, win or lose, take the next shot. Again, 50/50 odds. The thing is, the Virgo thing is, take some action without a lot of pondering. More action, less thought.

“Sounds good, let me think about, for moment....“

That’s the problem!

Libra

Libra

The Scales


I’m Sagittarius — simple enough to find out. As such, when I suggest my method of dealing with certain life exigencies, my plan is to run away. While it works, after a fashion, for me? While that is a reasonable Sagittarius method for dealing with a problem, a situation, life’s little miseries and foibles? While that works for me? Between Mars and Saturn, as influential players in the Libra chart this next few days? As those players play Libra? Think about the amount of running and the energy it requires, then thinking about just pausing long enough to confront some of that material. While not a Libra favorite, that kind of confrontation, now, as Mars does his thing, and as Saturn does his thing, and as my Sagittarius takes off in a different direction, consider, instead of either following me, or instead of running, consider turning and facing that demon, if only for a short time. Maybe not a total, head-on, knock-down, drag-out, pitched battle kind of thing, but think about — at least — pausing and turning, long enough to face part of the problem.

Me? I will be running away as fast as my feet can carry me. But I’m not a Libra. You are. Consider staring at the little bugger-boo, if nothing else.

Scorpio

Scorpio

Scorpion


One of my buddies is from deep Louisiana. Sounds like a hick. Sounds like an in-bred, backwater, uneducated fool. He sounds a like a hayseed, like a country-bumpkin. Which is funny, as he is both well-educated and well-read. Versed in several modalities of the arcane arts as well as normal businesses. It’s just that, when he is comfortable, and in his deep-woods, bayou backcountry mindset and language, he sounds like a rustic. Sounds stupid. He’s not, but it is super easy to get lulled into a sense that he’s an uneducated foolish wit. Sounds like s good Scorpio trick. As the planets plot their ways forward — and backward — there’s a sense that someone isn’t taking your Scorpio-self seriously. Like my buddy, though, there is no reason to let this color your own output. Our perceptions, our “Non-Scorpio” perceptions might be a hasty judgement. We might easily judge your Scorpio to be a hick, or similar foolish call on our, non-Scorpio parts, and to play this correctly? Try a tacit approach. Try being quiet with no effort to correct our non-Scorpio selves from making bad judgment calls.

“But I need to stop them from being so stupid!”

Scorpio: No, no you don’t need to stop them from being stupid.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Sagittarius


Afternoons, most wan summer afternoons, if I’m not fishing, I like a cool respite with some hot tea, preferably an herb tea. So I had some frightfully expensive specialty tea for my afternoon break, or rather, as I was toiling, looking at the up and coming planets, and how this will impact our Sagittarius lives. The herbal infusion is rare and exotic herbs, blended in a dolphin-safe baggie with an environmentally-friendly pull tag and eco-safe string. That delicious, morally-correct tea was paired with some cheese puffs. Knock-off, grocery store brand, cheese puffs. Cheap, best guess the primary ingredient in the cheese puffs, best estimate based upon flavor and consistency? Ground ground-cover. Shrubbery that had been through a coarse-grind machine. Not even fine-ground. Like, think: wood-chipper. So it is fine, exotic, expensive herbal infusion, paired with cheap cheese puffs. The herbal infusion, nominally tea, is exotic and so organic it almost turns to dirt after I use it, while those cheese puffs may never decompose, as there is nothing natural in their composition. Interesting pairing, no? That explains, one, my world view, and two, what is happening in our sign, at the moment. Little bit of “super-fine,” and little bit of tawdry. Up-scale and down-scale. The little planetary dictates? The suggestion is a little of both, superfine, and blatantly quotidian.

Capricorn

Capricorn

The Sea Goat


A fishing buddy has Capricorn child, little boy. Cute guy. Mean, at times, but he smiles and his wee little child eyes twinkle, and I’ve seen men — and women — swoon. He was playing in the yard, and he was imitating a common sight to him, men working with shovels. He has a little toy plastic shovel, and he would pile up the dirt in one corner, then pause, complain about some imagined impediment, then wipe his wee brow, and then get back to shoveling. He moved one pile of dirt from one place to the next, and then, to a third location. Why he did it in three, maybe four passes, instead of just one? I don’t understand how a five-year-old brain works. I failed to see the logic behind it, and I’m not a Capricorn, so I fail to understand the part about the hard work, too. However, looking at your planets, notably Saturn, in residence, and Mars, next door? I was thinking about that work, watching him work in the yard, seriously, studiously, assiduously, pursuing some goal. He was doing physical labor as that’s what is required. To some of us, like a lazy Sagittarius, this looks like way too much work. To Capricorn? We have some work that must get done. First move it here, then move it over there. Way to goes. It’s what the boss wants, and the boss is always right.

Shrug.

Aquarius

Aquarius

The Water Bearer


I love being able to cite, preferably, chapter and verse, when I come up with a quote. However, as I looked at the immediate astrology for Aquarius? All I could think of was, “Man plans and the gods laugh.” With there being a couple of variations, but that’s the central theme to the quote. Which, I might add, I’m too lazy to look up. Too much trouble to pop it into a search motor and see where that takes me. Also: I don’t want to get distracted. Both are problems for Aquarius, getting distracted when someone poses a seemingly innocuous question that should be resolved in moments, but the search gets sideways in a hurry suddenly we’ve spent the last few hours looking at pictures of puppies on the inter-webs. Sideways, in a hurry, all for a phrase that might — or might not — be from great literature and/or a great mind. The other problem? Plans. We have to have some solid Aquarius plans. Plan for this, plan for that, intend to swing by the store to pick up something, and so on. Plans. The trick is to realize that plans are all in the realm of “hypothetical” until the action actually occurs. Great idea, but until something happens? It’s merely a dream, a thought, a plan. I prefer to have Plan A and then, Plan B. There’s a whole alphabet for contingencies, and that should help. Don’t get distracted but have a back-up plan in place in case things do go a little — a little off-course? Or worse, if you don’t heed my advice and get distracted? Have a back-up plan for that, too. Search for the quote, maybe. Puppies. Puppies are always good, right? Or kittens. Whatever it is that delights the Aquarius heart and mind.

Pisces

Pisces

The Fishes


Where I live and work, throughout South Texas and portions of West Texas, I encounter a lot of retired military. In San Antonio, especially, there seems to be a large portion that are retired Air Force. There is a certain demeanor that retired career Air Force people — a way of walking, talking, and looking, that suggests the armed services and branch. Part of this judgmental, on my part, but a bigger portion of this is mere observation. It becomes obvious, after a few years of quietly observing. While these observations don’t hold true universally, they do seem to cut through certain other forms of taxonomy. The retired Air Force people tend to be clean, clean-shaven, and quietly “All laced-up.” This time of the year, the retired Army guys, in active Marines, and so forth? Still in boots, usually lightweight ankle-high tennis-shoe looking things. The Air Force guys are wearing flip-flops. It’s that “Casual yet still proper” attitude. Beach, without too much beach. Casual without being aggressively so.

This is a about an observed pattern, and this is about Pisces, interpreting that observed pattern. You see the pattern, clearly now, and it’s time to make that obvious Pisces inference and then, the conclusion to the inference and the judgement call. For me, I had one guy look at me, then ask, “All you did was ask my birthday, how does that prove I’m retired Air Force?”

As a Pisces, the answer is, like my answer, obvious. Or, you can always use my other line, “Just an educated guess.”

Aries

Aries

Aries The Ram


The key to a successful Aries horoscope? Have a strong beginning, a good ending, and have those elements as close together as possible. With the Sun in Gemini, and Uranus just grinding into Taurus, the key to Aries success? Like that guiding idea, strong start and quick finish with as little between the beginning and end as possible.

Aries: Keep it short, sweet, and to the point.

Aries: Minimum distance between “beginning” and “end,” simple as that.

Taurus

Taurus

The Bull


Some friends, think “Water Sign,” live in the middle of the American Southwest Desert. Seriously, I think the real geographical name is northern reaches of the Chihuahua Desert, but I’m way too lazy to look it all up. However, as a water sign, my friends installed a small pond in their backyard. To power the pond, there’s a small swimming pool pump. Last time I visited, lush, green — aquatic — vegetation flowered around the interior edges of the pond, a stark contrast to seemingly barren, windswept desert floor, otherwise. It was a way to add a water feature without going overboard. It was a way to introduce the element of water without drowning in it. It’s still pretty cool, as the rest of the place is xeriscaped, and drought compliant, like a desert home should be. When I started to describe what was happening in and around Taurus, that image came back to me, the swimming pool pump used for a small pond. Kind of over-kill, to some, but then, over the years, that pool pump has held up better as it was more like an industrial kind of pump, and as such, has served longer. While the cost up front was higher, over the years, as the pumping motor tireless circulated the water in that pond? It has almost paid for itself with the lack of repairs, lower maintenance, and ease of use.

Taurus: Super-charge, super-size, over-kill, any of that helps as we motor forward against the influence of Mars. Like a pool pump for their (water signs) pond.

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