Horoscopes for 6.14.2018

    O God, that one might read the book of fate,
    And see the revolution of the times
    Make mountains level, and the continent,
    Weary of solid firmness, melt itself
    Into the sea, and other times to see
    The beachy girdle of the ocean
    Too wide for Neptune’s hips; how chance’s mocks
    And changes fill the cup of alteration
    With divers liquors!

King Henry IV in Shakespeare’s
Henry IV, part 2 (III.i.45-53)

With a New Moon on Monday…. (plus or minus)

Venus opposes stationary Mars.

Horoscopes starting 6.14.2018



The Twins

There’s always one last kick to the Gemini season, and this one occurs right at the very end of the Gemini. Tail-end. Most Gemini I know have nice tails, but that’s not what this is about. Mind out of the gutter! Most Gemini can interchange the two words, too, “tail” and “tale.” Kind of a loquacious bunch, most of my Gemini friends. One last chance to initiate a new action, a new area to explore, new adventure, or? Or you can stay in bed and miss it all. Sure, your birthday and all, you’re allowed to take it easy, but if you can just launch one more item, at the very tail-end of Gemini? The fruits of your labors will be realized before the end of this calendar year. Of course, in Gemini measured time, the end of this calendar year is like three years away. Six days to make difference in the next six months? Give it shot, it’s worth it. Just as a sneak peak ahead? Really worth it, but once Gemini ends? Things might seem to fall apart. My suggestion, when it happens, was for the year-end. Maybe not much before that.

Happy Birthday!


The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

“Plan your work then work your plan.” It was a Mary Kay distributor person — occasional client of mine — who taught me that. It was along the lines of a comment I’d made about the chart, but the phrasing from the make-up magnate was more succinct. Direct. To the point. Advice this week, for my Cancer Moon Child characters? Best use of the energy?

“Plan your work, then work your plan.” That simple. Get a destination in mind, outline a series of steps required to get to that destination, to achieve whatever Cancer Moon Child goal there is? Then follow that proscribed pathway. These are the steps you’re going to outline for yourself, not for anyone else. Your plan won’t look like my plan, first off, I’m not a Cancer Moon Child. But more than that, there is a way you motor forward towards that goal, that destination, there is a series of steps that you understand that the rest of us might not get. Not up to us to understand how or what works for you.

“Plan your work then work your plan.” Your plan, not mine plan, or their plan, or whatever.

Cancer Moon Child: “Plan your work, then work your plan.”

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

Part of a conversation with a buddy of mine, oddly enough; not named “Bubba.” He related as how he was out with the girlfriend, and they had done a bit of drinking, and then, they got into an argument, and what happened, she caught a ride-share home, then the bartender took his keys, and my buddy was more incensed about everything because, from that one place, it’s like a twenty dollar ride, so he wasn’t just paying for his own, but he had to pay for the girlfriend’s, too. Eventually. He got home, and she was there, but she wasn’t talking to him at all, and while she wasn’t asleep, she was, no uncertain terms, not conversing with him whatsoever. He passed out on the couch and woke the next morning with a crushing hangover.

I got the details, the place, the location, everything, a few days later, after he swore he was never going to drink like that — ever again. Or not until next weekend. The culprit isn’t really the booze, although, as it should be apparent, as he couldn’t remember what escalated and cause of the vicious verbal fight was about, the problem is Mars. Mars makes The Leo say and do things that might — or might not — be appropriate. Buddy is a Leo, so some folks understand how being right is important. However, being right, then being humiliated by the girlfriend? Is it really worth it? To compound this issue, he couldn’t even remember the hot-button commentary that caused the discussion to go from “Animated” to “Thermonuclear.”

Mars. I’m inclined to blame Mars.



The Virgin

The short version of this week’s horoscope has to do myths, the pervasive tales that we tell ourselves, over and over. Tell the tale long enough, and whether true — or not — the myth becomes part of the subconscious — or conscious — real estate of the mind. Repeating the myth ingrains it. Repeating the story, valid or not, gets that thread of narrative embedded in the fabric that defines who we are.

In my neighborhoods, Mexican Coke became a favorite. Allegedly made with real sugar from the original coke recipe, the confectionary soft drink, soda pop, soda, coke, whatever the appellation? The imported version is allegedly better tasting, and, by extension of all-natural ingredients, a healthier choice. It’s a myth. — coke, Mexican or regular — is not as good for the body as water or other, natural drinks. Period. However, the myth persists, and this a shorthand version of a narrative — what we tell ourselves — becoming near-fact. While it’s not fact, it does look like a fact, so it’s a near fact. I am aware of this, that Mexican Coke isn’t really any better than regular coke, but that doesn’t stop me from having some, on hand, just for an occasional refreshment. Not like I’ll have one every day, but once every few weeks? Maybe as a refreshing afternoon beverage, fully aware it is brown, sugary fizzy water I’m drinking?

Virgo: Pervasive myths, stories we tell ourselves? I’m not suggesting we stop; just be aware.



The Scales

Jotting down notes, I was recalling a singular event. The perfect example for what’s going on in Libra, and around the Libra skies. Many long year ago, while I was in college, I was defending a typo in one paper, an early example of my Texas heritage and misspelling, how my essentially southern drawl infected my written word. I spelled out “formally,” because that sounded correct, with a twinge of accent, slightest drawl, and then the professor, with a bemused expression, corrected me, “You mean ‘formerly,’ don’t you?”

This was before spell checkers were rampant, I might add.

In that context, yes, I meant formerly, not formally, while, caught up in the act of creation, I’d written, what I heard in my mind, was the twang version, what I was raised with, formally.

Written English can be so confusing!

So can the planetary array impacting Libra, which is where this little tale comes to bear — it’s about listening, interpreting, and then, making corrections to adjust for the standardized version that is most widely understood. As a much younger person, I was willing to stand there and make a case for what I had written, wrong that I was, making a valiant effort to prove I was correct. While a good ear is beneficial for this week’s energies, a willingness to be corrected and learn from the correction is also useful.




I’m not a well person, but the theories and observations about my various mental states? None of this is new. So, working forward with that established idea that I might be a bit eccentric? Especially by certain Scorpio standards, as long we understand that, then my little detour will help Scorpio.

I spotted an ad for a super-inexpensive microphone that would hook up, with an adaptor that I already have, so I record better audio. Here’s the deal, I already have two microphones, and I really don’t need any more crap to carry, store, and ultimately, discard. But the deal was, it was super cheap. Before I hit the “buy now” button, though, I looked at the existing hardware, and I looked at the program, an app, that I use to record work. Then I started messing around with its settings, which led to a discovery in that app’s settings, buried deep. Which leads back to increased productivity — and I never bought the damn microphone.

This is a winding, weird way to get from Point A to Point B, and leaving a trail of my breadcrumbs so Scorpio can find his or her way? That’s how this energy works. In part, let’s attribute this to a Gemini Sun, and in part, let’s just say, two words, Mars in Aquarius. My meandering, weird route, though, started with advertising and wound up with more productive output based on not buying what was advertised, even though, it was a really good price? That’s how Scorpio can easily negotiate the next few days. It’s that Mars thing, you know.

Scorpio: “Wow, look at that, I wonder if it will work with what I’ve already got?”




The key is an old marketing trick. The problem with all the modern inconveniences? We tend to see what emotional triggers are being pushed. The trick is to create a sense of need. Maybe not urgency, but a sense that life would be better if I just had this, or that, or, the way it was pitched to me, the particular fishing reel was going to fit in my hand, and then, it would be like I didn’t know it was there, and it would magically catch more fish. I could see that it worked because there was a live-action shot of a big-name fisherman with the exact same reel and the guy was holding up a big fish. Proof! Visual proof that a new reel, kind of steep, but a new reel would put more fish in the live well.

The world — the Sagittarius world for sure — needs more five-pound bass in the live well.

With that as a goal, is the right fishing reel going to cure the problem? Probably not. However, as a weird way to make this sort of work? The right gear means you’re on the lake, and then, if you’re on the lake, fishing, there is a better chance of catching something.

However, as my own way of answering this question? Instead of buying a new reel to try out? I’ll just head on out to the lake to fish. That false sense of urgency generated by the advertising, well, I guess it sort of worked. Pictures should be on the website, someplace.



The Sea Goat

There comes a point when I’ve answered just about every question imaginable, when I’ve seen clientele do — by proxy — just about every unthinkable action. This isn’t a challenge to come up with some action, sin, crime, or good deed that I haven’t seen, or heard, about. Not a challenge, no, not what this is about. But there is a moment when this is a relative action. Certain patterns are obvious, now. Certain patterns are abundantly obvious to the way the Capricorn mind works. One doesn’t have to be psychic to read the quote’s alluded to, “Book of Fate,” to know — at least to recognize — an established pattern. It is an established pattern that is emerging. This pattern isn’t uncomfortable — yet. But, if you follow the logical clues, and jump along the pathway, and then, just see where this path is going, this pathway is going — it’s easy to see this doesn’t end well. Not an illogical conclusion. “If I put these two together, it will work?” Worked for Dr. Frankenstein and his monster, but that’s pure fiction. In real life, in the Capricorn real life? That doesn’t work. So think about the the logical, easy to understand conclusion that you’re headed for, and if that’s not where you want to be? Only you can change that pattern.



The Water Bearer

At one point, a client told me, “Wear a lab coat. All you need is a lab coat, maybe a clipboard, too. But put a guy in a lab coat, and you look official.” Think that image has seen better days, as it no longer applies. But instead of a lab coat? I watched as a guy showed up with two cameras slung around his neck. Plus a small shoulder sling for camera gear. He didn’t have a badge that said, “Press.” He was acting like he was shooting very important images. Pretty sure it was an act to get to something. I’m not sure what. But along the lines of the original statements about wearing a lab coat to appear official, as a way to lend gravitas to a statement? Add a camera with a sling. Add a cameras that looks like it shoots film. Take a flash image or two, act like there is effort in framing and gathering the image. Work it, Aquarius baby, work that prop.

Aquarius: Lab coat, clipboard, or, big camera with a flash, which was what I saw recently, “We’re shooting vintage film, so we have to be careful.”



The Fishes

“I’m one of those guys, I get along with everyone,” the old guy mused. I looked at this, and then I asked his birthday. “Like horoscopes? I don’t believe in that stuff.” So he doesn’t get along with everyone, a direct contradiction to his previous statement. I’d be worried, but it really doesn’t matter. A closed mind gathers no moss. There is a way this works, for Pisces, and that’s what this is about. How to make that work. When faced with a definite “No,” instead of pushing forward? There is a very Pisces urge to carry forth into that fray, insurmountable odds and all, yeah?


What I did? Nothing. Smiled. Shrugged my shoulders, and I figured it was a case of another closed mind, and not to worry, it’s not me. Take a lesson from me, Pisces, you’ll ask a question, be faced with negative answer, and then, despite you’re better judgement, you’ll be tempted to fight back.

Pisces: Don’t fight back. You can, but it really isn’t worth the effort.



Aries The Ram

There’s a certain level that allows comedy and comedic elements to help diffuse situations. In my own example, not that any Aries cares, but this is a good example, it was a comedienne making comments about a race issue. It was funny, but then, it also was rather pointed. It was commentary about the current state of race relations, and how, from a comedic way of seeing it? It could be funny. Still, the commentary made me think. On the superficial level, it was almost broad, verbal slapstick. Still, the joker addresses a deeper rift in race relations. Amazing how that works. Humor can alternately infuriate, entertain, and elucidate. All in the same breath. Looking at the Aries charts for the immediate future, next week? Looks like we need to think this one through. Need to see how we can use comedy to diffuse some the recalcitrant energies floating freely. Humor doesn’t just help; humor is almost necessary as a coping method. Plus, the jokes are good. Put this week in comedic terms.



The Bull

This week is brought to you by the playlist I had going. The Letter D. Dead Milkmen. Deadmau5. Devo. There would be more, but that was all I could make out on the player’s small window. Glancing up at the screen, I was trying to thread a coherent thought as the planets unleash a torrential outpouring of Taurus disbelief. Or an outrage that causes Taurus consternation. Jump back to my original definition of the very Taurus-like energy, cf., Bare Foot Astrology, and understand that a typical Taurus reaction is one who is willing to wait. With Mr. Mars winding down, or winding up, or just unwinding, there can be, there probably is, great pressure on Taurus to change some aspect of a situation that might — or might not — really need changing. The timing is right to realize that a piece, a part of the whole, some integral portion of the Taurus practice needs to be addressed. It is good to make note of that requisite change. However, as for making the change? You know this was coming, right?

Wait for it.



About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.