Umberto

Umberto

Umberto

Hi Humberto, this is Andy volunteering w/ Beto for Texas. Beto O’Rourke is running a grassroots campaign for Senate with a focus on getting corporations, PACs, and special interests out of Congress and putting our democracy back into the hands of people. Can we count on your vote?

I voted for Ann Richards, the late, great Democratic governor of Texas. There’s more, but she was Virgo. Enough said.

While I’ve been called many things, some of which are not suitable for print, never before called, “Umberto.”

Beto is from El Paso, and he did the long bi-partisan ride with the other congressman. Two points in favor. Beto was a punk rocker, rather briefly. Point. Listed as a Democrat. Point. Voting record? Multiple high-points.

However, here’s the deal: if I get a call, or text, asking for my vote? I will vote for Cruz, the gun-toting, arch-conservative, Canadian-born, Cuban guy, just out of spite. Ted Cruz fried bacon on an automatic weapon, I think, in Harris County (Houston).

At the end of some of the older Alamo Drafthouse PSA spots, they show Ann Richards — big hair and all — throwing people out for talking, texting, or arriving late. So, to paraphrase Ann Richards in the Alamo spot?

Don’t call or text, or I will vote for Cruz, and “Andy?” That will be on your conscience. Won’t bother me a bit.

$1 deal

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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