Horoscopes for 8.16.2018

You fools! I and my fellows
Are ministers of Fate.

Ariel in Shakespeare’s The Tempest 3.3.60-1

    Mercury starts to unwind from its Retrograde Pattern August 18, at 11 degrees of Leo. Happy birthday?

Horoscopes for 8.16.2018

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The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

Let’s just sit back and enjoy the week? Birthdays, the last of The Leo celebrations, and Mercury. Mars, too, but mostly Mercury, and despite the rectification of the visual course of Mercury? (Mercury going un-retrograde), despite that apparent motion, there’s still free floating material that wants to get attached, and maybe not in a healthy way. Like burrs in The Leo mane? Ultimately, not life-altering, just minimally inconvenient — and we know what the culprits are, the source of ire, mostly still Mercury in Retrograde, and as such? You know what to do.

“No, what should I do?”

The Leo: Do nothing. Avoid problems.


Pretty much click/link bait, but still? “8 delicious recipes for cauliflower.” That’s how the title read. At this point in my life, there are certain items that I found distasteful. Cauliflower is one. The reaction I have more emotional than serious physical allergy, but the results are similar. I don’t like cauliflower, and I don’t want to eat anything that has that as the main component. Might be personal, but that’s my sentiment, and there’s not much use in trying to change my attitude. There are NO delicious recipes for cauliflower, and any attempt to persuade me otherwise? Waste of time. Waste of time and energy.

What I would like to protect my Virgo friends from? Cauliflower. Might not be that one vegetable, per se, might be some other vegetable, fruit, animal, or just animal by-product, but there is a very visceral reaction — a very Virgo visceral reaction you have to have. Listen to that. Let it guide you for a change. My dilemma is simple, it is a certain veggie. There is no way to cook it, hide it, mangle it, or sauté it that I will like. From a scarred childhood, I’m sure, but that is way behind us now. I’m not arguing the roots of the aversion — for Virgo? Acknowledge that there is the stopping point, and like my absolute refusal to eat cauliflower, no matter how artfully prepared, and once that is understood? No one gets their feelings hurt when I delicately push that stuff off the side of the plate.

Virgo: It is quite alright to enjoy your eccentricities, indulge them, even.

“I’ll take the vegetable melody without any cauliflower, please.”


Fishing buddy was talking about a problem with his wife. Not really a big problem, just, the third and final child in the home is a daughter, about 15 at the time. We were actually discussing potential cars for the kid, when she turned 16, as she was driving already. Two working parents, the kid could get herself to school and back. She has an older sister, still living at home, and the oldest is a brother, long since joined the military and moved out. That baby girl? Seems like the wife “Just doesn’t want to let go.” Then my buddy rolled his eyes, followed by a twirling motion of a finger at his temple. “She’s crazy. Daughter one said that. Daughter two said that, too, but when I suggest it?”

Libra tends to be even-handed, fair, and always shooting for balance. However, in this situation, the Libra spouse was a little unsettled. Way it goes this week. You’re not fond of some of us pointing out what seems obvious. All three kids suggested “Mom was crazy.” But when my buddy, long-term, devoted spouse, when he suggested the same? Hit that Libra fuse, and she went off. Is that really fair? As I typed up this example, for the next few days, I was thinking about it, and I understand, now, it’s OK for the kids to say that, but not for the spouse. Now, I get it.

Not sure my buddy gets it, yet, and that’s the Libra problem, not everyone understands yet.


In the early days of “cell phones,” especially when the communication was radio waves handed off from tower to tower, I used to get a funny message. Working for more than 20 years in the El Paso, TX area, coming around the mountain, there was a stretch of highway that seemed to pick up the signal from the Mexico side of the road. To be fair, the border itself was mere feet away, perhaps less than a hundred yards in places. I would get a message from phone carrier, “International Data Rates Apply.”

That would induce a certain amount of justifiable ire, as I never left the US.

The message would pop up then disappear, and we would motor on down the freeway to and from work. Carefully perusing my phone bill, I was never billed for international rates, although, I’m sure I used some data at the time. I always envisioned a great argument with some faceless voice on the end of the phone, explaining that I had to pay, and me explaining that I never set foot outside the borders of the country. Moral high ground, always a good place to be. Scorpio: Moral High Ground. An unassailable position — the moral high ground. That’s where you want to be. Might not ever have to fire a shot, either — because — after all — you have the moral high ground.


There is a specific brand of women’s make-up that I used to fall for. Every time. A woman would show up with that stuff on, and I was instantly “in love,” which in a Sagittarius like myself, tends to appear like lust. There is probably a connection between those two, but I lack the amount of time and space to explore that. It was years of working in the public eyes before I figured out that it was the paint, the surface texture, the outside layer that was catching my attention. A fishing buddy’s wife used to sell the stuff, and that was when I finally realized that it was the exterior layer, the good stuff, that always caught my attention. Not just any brand of make-up, but a certain kind of pricey war-paint. This week gives us Sagittarius a chance to acknowledge that it is the paint that catches our eyes. The appearance. We’re judging books by their covers. In that example, judging a book by its cover? I fair less than well. My book covers are merely placeholders, not nearly slick and gaudy enough to work on that level. So the caution is judging something — or someone — by appearance. We, as Sagittarius, have to go deeper than what just catches our eyes for the sake of beauty. What is between the ears, what is between the covers, what is the supporting material?


There are “Christmas Babies,” December 23-25, etc. Anyway, there are some Christmas Capricorn who are dealing with a bad case of the “I told you so.” Or, “Thusly I did warn you, and you failed to heed my suggestions about getting it finished before this time happened up on you.” Which really, doesn’t sound too much like me, unless I’m trying to be preachy and that’s not usually me. Not unheard of, but not always me. However, for Capricorn in general and especially the Xmas babies, there’s that sense of unfinished business. Something left undone, and you were supposed to attend to this matter before now. Yeah kind of thought so, huh. Don’t you just hate a week full of “I told you so?” There is way to avoid this stuff: look busy. Look like you’re working. I have this skill honed to a fine art. I have keyboard, and tablet, maybe a notebook by my side, a piece of paper with arcane notes, like the symbol for Capricorn, and then? Look busy. Sure better than hearing, “I told you so.”

“Look, I’m working on it right now, can’t you see?”

(You can quote me.)


I make suggestions, gentle coercion, guidelines, and recommendations. It’s what I do. None of this is etched in stone, but these days? Wouldn’t it be nice if there were some hard and fast rules? Certain guidelines that were simple instructions, just one step after another? “Insert ‘Tab A’ into ‘slot B,’ then proceed to C.” Simple instructions for an Aquarius. Just carved out, easy enough to understand, and no gray areas. Alas, we both know, if there were simple, step—by-step instructions for Aquarius? What would be the most likely reaction? “If I just put this over there, instead, let’s see what would happen…” Or, like some of my Aquarius friends? Not following the instructions at all.

How’s that work?

Usually, that works well for most Aquarius — usually. These are not usual times. You can guess the two influences I’ll will summon up, Mars and Mercury, and their implied meaning, at this time? There are no clear instructions. Simply put, there are no easy-to-follow instructions and, at best, we’re groping along in the metaphorical dark, hoping we don’t bump into something we don’t want to run into.


“Name for the order,” the counter workers asked.

“Rick James,” replied the guy in line in front of me. Hint: It wasn’t that Rick James, but thanks for asking. Couple of my buddies refer to this as “Starbucks” name. If I were to go by that standard, then my name is “Kramer, K-R-A-M-E-R, no relation to the guy on TV, thankyouverymuch.”

But this wasn’t a ubiquitous coffee shop chain that sells milk and burnt coffee. And this isn’t about me, but about Pisces. So what is the handle that you can use, something that sets you apart, and makes folks notice, even if it is in a slightly innocuous way, like having a name on order?

At one time I was given the sobriquet of “Sparkle Faery,” and I’m not one to argue with success. I let that one ride. Worked fine.

Nomenclature, sobriquet, handle, nickname? All of that is about how to make a statement. Some of this can be manufactured, or, in the case of my own first name? Just a statement. However, I was thinking, for this week’s Pisces? For lack of better way to deal with exigent energies? What would be your Starbuck’s Order Name, you know, like Rick James?


Simple admonishment for my little Aries friends: FTDI. I broke that down, first saw it on a T-shirt, but the breakdown is simple enough, you know what it means, right, FTDI? FTDI? For Aries, this one is really important, this week, especially this week. Again, the initials alone should spell it out, right? FTDI.

I first saw it on a T-Shirt, and little poking around led me to figure out that the expression is either a semi-conductor business, or what I was intending as the guidelines for Aries: Follow The Damn Instructions.

Aries: There’s an issue facing you, looking large in headlights, straight ahead. There is a simple solution. It requires you to do one thing, take one step, head in one direction. It requires, simple enough, to Follow The Damn Instructions.

I would be remiss if I had not noted, this isn’t a core issue for myself. I’m preaching. Don’t ask me if I Follow The Damn Instructions myself. Yeah, and this week? I’m certainly not Aries.


Typical Mercury machinations? Rote material that I trot out every time Mercury is in Retrograde? This isn’t exactly new material but what I sail out there every time?

It is in the book.

“Write it down.” This is the week to go back to the notes we all took when Mercury was retrograde because those notes have clues to new ideas, now Taurus concepts, and a fresh start that will be available. So the review process works like this, start the review methods for the material that was collected during the previous three-four weeks of what seemed like terminal hell. Wasn’t that bad, because — if you’re aware of the root of the problem — it makes it easier to grasp what is going on. So the Taurus solution for the next few days? Let’s review. You did take notes — per my suggestions — when Mercury was in its deshabille condition? Let’s refer back to our notes. Memories, dream, half-baked thoughts process, all part of what this next few days is about. Brainstorming, to some, and brain-fart to others. No accounting for puerile behavior within certain group of my friends, but the solution to the very-Taurus problem is in the notes from the last weeks’ adventures through the Mercury and Mars Retrograde zone. Taurus: be willing to dig through that leftover material. Might be a few days, but there is no reason to get in all-fired up hurry at the moment.


For most Gemini, these are the dog days of Leo. With the Sun its final stages of Leo, and Mercury, Mars, and we all know that drill by now, but between the influences, there were very few happy Gemini. I would like to change that. To me, the simplest way to change the attitude? Easiest exercise is coffee. A caffeinated beverage — whatever works within your Gemini World purview? For me? Coffee. A simple cup of coffee in the afternoon can change attitude, demeanor, and approach. There is the thought, too, that taking time to heat some water, grind some beans, and then choose the correct extraction process, French Press, Pour-Over, walk to the closest coffee shop, there is some extra time spent with the ideas roiling around in the Gemini brain while those other activities are occurring. One client, she will stop — mini-van with kids type — she will stop after dropping the kids and get a humongous paper cup filled with ice and Dr. Pepper. That counts, in this scenario. It is the idea of pausing, and then on-boarding fuel. Pause, take on extra fuel, preferably caffeine-infused, and then further pursue that idea. Or ideas, as the pause to take the break gives our Gemini selves room for new solutions to pop up.


There’s this weird thing, see, it’s in naming conventions in Shakespeare Studies. I was brought up with the old school way of citing a Shakespeare source, Capital Roman Numeral Act (I-V), period (or comma), small roman numeral scene (i-iv-x, &c.), period (or comma), and Arabic line number. Should be enclosed in parentheses. Some occasions, the abbreviations get maligned. When I’m making notes, especially in a hurry? I’m lucky to write down scene number (guess) and approximate location. When I follow up and check one of my sources, I tend to “shorthand” the source, like just quick numbers for act, scene, and line. I’ll also tend to just cite the first line, even if it is a long piece, just easier for me. One academic text I started using, just as another way to see the plays, just a slightly different view? That text cited the line number, as numbered from the beginning of the play. The opening lines I use this week, from Shakespeare’s The Tempest are a good example. I can grab most near any copy of the play and get within a few words of the exact location of that quote, like that with my (Act.Scene.Line) old-school reference. The challenge I face with the raw line number, besides the “What edition are they using” question? Unless I have the identical reference tome, I can’t — quickly — locate the source. After a few years with this stuff, context matters.

Cancer, the lovely Children of the Moon? This week is about naming conventions, labels, the way we locate our resources. Stick with a universally recognized convention, similar, if not the same. Like Shakespeare said?

“Conform, in deed, if not in thought.”



About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.