Horoscopes for 8.9.2018

    When sorrows come, they come not single spies,
    But in battalions
    The King in Shakespeare’s Hamlet (4.5.69-70)

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Horoscopes for 8.9.2018

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo

A familiar axiom in some circles? “Always Be Testing.” Means we (the royal “We” for The Leo) are always working on ways to make it better, and we test each change, and them implement the change. Or, like this week for The Leo? We make a change, test it, find out that it might not work on a broader scale, and discard the change. The problem with normal people is that they would all consider that an epic fail. For The Leo? it was an experiment that proved that the hypothesis was incorrect. Tried one way, didn’t work. Try another way, see if that’s any better? Yes, now you’re catching on. In implied, slightly hyperbolic way of saying it? “Even a negative result is a result.” The planets are stacked against certain success. Doesn’t mean there aren’t some wins among the losses, but it does mean that The Leo should consider the actions that don’t work as planned? Consider those “beta” or “rough draft,” or whatever terminology seems to fit. It’s not failure, just means we need further testing.

I can still see, in my mind’s eye, one of my buddies, “Man, I just fixed that; it went way too easy. That scares me.”

Be willing to be surprised, but also: test, first.

Virgo

Virgo

The Virgin

Her T-Shirt read, “One Man Wolf Pack.” Not sure if it was a just small Men’s shirt, or if it was really one of those that was cut to fit a female, but it was form-fitting. The growling, or grinning, wolf’s head on the front? I think the position was a little different from what it all looked like, to me. She could easily have been a one-person wolf-pack, and lord knows, the females are way scarier than the males. Might just be my take, but it holds up well with empirical evidence, observed through the years.

The woman, “One-Man Wolf-Pack,” had a predatory sense about her, yet occasionally futile glances to the side, like she might be hesitant or really afraid. With this current set of conditions? Mercury is backwards in Leo and Mars is slipping backwards into Capricorn. This sets a twisted dynamic, where a good Virgo becomes a “One-Man Wolf-Pack.” Think, like this, “We hunt alone, because we are stronger that way.” One way, or another, think about a predatory Virgo — with the usual Mercury is Retrograde caveats in place.

Libra

Libra

The Scales

The thing about a power smoothie? Have one to reduce hunger, then eat a nice meal. Like a kale and blueberry smoothie? Best followed by burgers and fries. Burger, fries, and a shake. That smoothie just paves the way for the unhealthy but really delicious food that follows. Makes one appreciate the bounty of the platter. The grease dripping from the over-sized burger, the doughy goodness of the yeast-like flavor from the bun, the crisp snap of the French-Fries, the icy cold freeze of the shake? I’m a mustard and ketchup person myself, so that’s where I fit in the burger world. Depends on one’s tastes. What this week plays out with, the energies currently coursing through Libra? Best of intentions, like that smoothie as a meal substitute. Might backfire, though, as that “Hunger-reducing, meal-replacement” smoothie might be more like an appetizer.

“Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

I’ll agree with that Libra sentiment, for sure, “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Scorpio

Scorpio

Scorpion

One place I worked, rather, I was an independent contractor, but that one place? I never thought about it as “Going to work.” I got to go there and play. Yes, I did charts and readings, and I had a number of clients, but, due to the circumstances, the air, and the lovely staff? Maybe not the management, but the daily staff people? It was fun. Fun for me. I got to go and play at work. Or work at play. Or get paid to play. There was a lightness. In part, it as the setting. In part, it was the people. In part it was my attitude about the work itself. That’s the Scorpio clue — my attitude about the work. I take my astrology very serious. It is a peek at the soul. I can’t take me serious. As this week unfolds with weirdness heaping up on strangeness, take it lightly.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

I was in a business (casual) setting, and this one guy, he was looking at me, about to dismiss me. Very quietly, I asked, “Do you know who I am?” Guy froze. Did another long, up-and-down glance. I was being dismissed based solely on appearance. Little disingenuous, but that’s the world, sometimes, the real world of business. Even if it was “casual.” In reality? I’m not much different from an average customer. I have no remarkable super-powers. I have a few years which means I’ve got experience. Gradually, I learned how to learn from my mistakes. Think that guy, as he sized me up a second time, he realized he was given an opportunity to learn from his mistake. He got nice, all of a sudden. Nicer, anyway. Strings of long hair, sun-scarred skin, my typical, studied yet aggressively casual appearance, yeah, can’t be judging this book by its high-mileage cover. Fact is, I’m not really a big deal, but I did deserve a second glance rather than being dismissed solely on my apparent slovenly trappings. The Sagittarius secret to make this kind of comment work? Quietly ask the question. Loudly banging on the counter, or the table, exclaiming, “Do you know who I am!” Yeah, that doesn’t work. To make this work? Soft-spoken, almost a whisper, “Do you know who I am?”

Capricorn

Capricorn

The Sea Goat

It’s easiest to blame “Mercury in Retrograde,” but the real energies stem from a strong trine between Saturn (Capricorn) and Uranus (Taurus). Yeah, let’s go with Mercury in Retrograde as the culprit, when the real issue is a little different. Couple of big hitters playing hard, fast, and loose with the Capricorn psyche. Ideas, ideals, dreams, bigger dreams, and illusions, and then — remember Saturn? Harsh reality.

“Man, why do you have to bring that up right now? You’re ruining my buzz!”

Might be the problem, but wait, there’s more. Much, much more! The two heavy hitters conspire to shower goodies, and goodness on Capricorn — this very week, but the deal is? Unless you open up and receive? You won’t know that it’s there. It’s a hot summer here. A little summer shower goes a long way to making crisp lawns slightly more green, and — temporarily — drops the soaring temperatures. Take the hit, take the hint, and enjoy the cool relief, however it shows up. Might not be normal, but seriously, these are far from normal times, am I right? Or what?

Aquarius

Aquarius

The Water Bearer

While this looks like something from police procedural show, this was drawn from a real-life case, a serial crime that had gone dead, years ago. Strange murder, and eventually, almost 30 years later, the killer was caught and convicted. Right off the TV shows, right? Only this was real life. The damming evidence that put away the killer? Trophies. Sorry for the grisly August news for Aquarius, but this is about keeping trophies; like, keeping trophies that might get us in trouble.

Spin this around to the light, now. Concert T’s, old photographs of ex-lovers, pictures left over from a misspent youth, mementos from an exotic ordeal in a foreign land, in other words? Trophies. Trophies that we might — or might not — want surfacing a second time. What made me think about the lurid details and grisly scenario of that belated, yet eventual conviction? Holding onto treasuries and trinkets that link to our past. Got to ask, what can we get rid of that might be a link to the past, perhaps some link that is best forgotten, now?

Pisces

Pisces

The Fishes

Intuition is a fickle fate, at best. At worst, it leads me completely astray, but them mistakes like that make for good tales, afterwards. “Seemed like good idea at the time,” though, that’s not really a valid excuse. I got a very specific image of how this works, too. “I knew the boss wasn’t going to be in today — at all — so I was a little late getting to work…” How late? “Just an hour, or so…” Those are Pisces avoiding work hours that typically have a minimum of 120 minutes. See how this works? What happened? “Boss showed up today, and he was on time, too, what’s up with that?” Perfect example of the fickle nature of the intuitive process. Instead of listening to the intuition that suggests we stray from a course that plots and plods forward? Instead of straying from that Pisces course? “Little voice in my head said it was OK, just today.” Think about my Pisces buddy who got caught skipping the first three hours of work, based on the idea that the little voice on Pisces intuition suggested, just this time, it was OK. Maybe not a time to listen to the voices in our Pisces head.

Aries

Aries

Aries The Ram

Lawyer buddy was ruminating, a bit in his cups one evening. I asked about billable hours and the bathroom. My buddy looked amused, short answer, and I’ve heard a similar explanation before, different lawyer, “Standing or sitting?” So, the question is, in the bathroom, is the time billable? His question and qualifier, “Standing or sitting?” The explanation might seem a little long-winded to an Aries, but stick with me, “If I’m standing, then, no, I can’t ethically charge for my time, even if I do think about the case, but if I’m sitting, I can easily be reading material, and if I am, then it is certainly billable hours.”

So the Aries question is simple, “Standing or sitting?”

There is a binary way of seeing this weeks Aries challenge and the easier it is for you to answer those question, break it down to a binary question. Like the example?

The question is simple, “Standing or sitting?”

Hint: break it down to binary questions.

Taurus

Taurus

The Bull

At one point in my life, I lived on the lake in Austin. At one point in my life, I could fish every day, what, with a lake right out my back door? Or front door, depends on how one orients the trailer. I don’t live on the lake anymore, and it is considerably harder for me to find a place to fish with such ease. Not that I have a problem going to the coast or the nearby lakes, but it’s not like walking out the front door and there’s a body of water with fish. These days, I have to sort gear, decide which tackle box is best, figure out which poles for the lake — or bay — and then, guess at what might work best.

Been fishing long enough that I can make an educated guess, and it’s not a big deal. Just more complicated than before. So I don’t fish — especially bass fishing — as much as before. Flip that around, and I get to spend more time reading books. My other hobby, Shakespeare Studies, gets more time. The fun part about the Shakespeare stuff is that there is no end, and it there is always a new interpretation, plus, not like the guy will rise up from the dead and write more plays. Easy canon of work — and certainly shorter than a King James Bible. So the way this works? When I used to be preoccupied with fishing, bass fishing, bay fishing, coastal, lake, whatever? Now I’m more interested in the latest theory about Shakespeare, or some play that is interpreted in a way that enlightens, informs, or enrages. I won’t pass up a chance to fish, no, but I expend more energy in pursuit of other goals. This is about location, and the planets — especially the Mercury/Mars stuff — the planets suggest that Taurus is best served with what is most immediate.

Taurus: What is most immediate at this time?

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins

Buddy was looking up an address online, as we had to navigate to some new office. In an office park, in the burbs. The hinterlands. Not my turf, for sure. I plugged the address into my phone; he did the same. Software and search motors respond differently to the same set of parameters, even something as simple as an address. “15 minutes away.” Having lived with Austin traffic for so long, I was rather aware that conditions might change. Allow half an hour. Allow an hour. Maybe an hour and a half? “No man, it’s just a few minutes from here.” The route includes a precipitous amount of freeway, and assuming that the local drivers are sane, sure, it could take only 15 minutes. However, navigating with a Gemini, then two different phones, and Mercury/Mars retrogrades, like they are?

We passed one street, and after we through the intersection? Gemini buddy looks down and up again, “Dude, we were supposed to turn back there.”

15 Minutes — or less? Why I allowed a little more time.

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab

Great time to go fishing. Been a hot summer in some places, and a little time on the lake, or at the coast, whatever works, with, preferably, a fishing pole in hand. I just found that it settles the stomach to be gently casting out, and looking over the water. I also tend, these days, to wear a long sleeve shirt, and I’ll leave the sleeves rolled up most of the morning, but when I can detect my flesh beginning to sear? I roll the sleeves down. Therein is our caution and observation for what works bet for the gentle Cancer/Moon-child, and some days, like next few days, it can be the simplest of adjustments. Hat, sunglasses, bandana, yes, and long-sleeve “fishing” shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Until the flesh sears. Feel the burn, and that means it’s time to roll the sleeves down. I did find this one kind of sunscreen that was 100-proof, and water-resistant. But why waste that stuff on my arms or legs? Totally not needed. Besides, as a Moonchild, we do have our protection. Middle of the afternoon, don’t be afraid to roll the sleeves down. Or whatever it takes.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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