Horoscopes for 3.14.2019

Follow, I pray you.
(exeunt omnes)
Adrian in Shakespeare’s The Tempest III.iii.111

Happy Birthday! — happy Pie Day (3.14)? As the stage directions read, exeunt omnes — all exit.

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Horoscopes for 3.14.2019



The Fishes

There are copious examples of this in modern life. A blog that became a movie that became a best-selling book.

A twitter handle that became a collection of quotes in a book that became a TV show.

Just about any channel in the world of the electronic media can become a sensation, the trick is the hook, and the hook relies on old-fashioned story-telling.

One author I read because of the insane plot lines. Another author I read is for the story itself. Yet another example is an author I read for vivid description. All depends.

Pause, in the middle of the Pisces birthday time, and think about the last article, serial, book, or even web-inner-tube show, and ask yourself, “Pisces dear, what was the hook?” I used to watch this one fishing show because the guy was comical in his delivery, damn near manic. I watched for his Pisces personality as much as I watched for anything else. Tips, techniques, tackle, sure but he made it fun.

Before we start our own Pisces show, though, we must investigate the hook. What is the magic that keeps us coming back?


Change doesn’t hurt near as much as resisting to change. Simple observation. Simple observation made plain by Saturn in Capricorn, which causes consternation within the Aries psyche. “But I like this,” or “it’s the way it’s always been!” Both sound arguments, but the lack of change? The resistance to the change?

Changing it up doesn’t hurt near as much as you might think that it will. “We must fight the foes!” In my canon of work, I point out that we all face certain obstacles. In the next few days, resisting change might be your biggest Aries obstacle.

Change doesn’t hurt near as much as resisting to change.


A buddy was complaining about the way it was, and how things were — or weren’t — working out. To him, his position in a situation (work) had become untenable, at best. A no-win scenario was presented. That’s how he painted the picture. I twiddled the astrology charts and offered useful but rather pointless advice, because, in this situation, my buddy, the stars, the work scenario itself? No way to win. In a situation that feels similar? Or in a situation that has no apparent way to win?

“It’s a race to the bottom, man.”

With that as a possible issue this next couple of days? In Taurus-land? Look around. Stop. Put a pin in it and offer to circle back. Instead of racing to the bottom? Just stop where you’re at; sounds simple enough, but if you do? You stop that headlong descent into madness, and we can all clearly see, there’s no way to win this one. If there’s no way to win? Stop struggling with it.

”Easy for you to say.”

Yes, it is. Stop racing to the bottom.


Love me some bay fishing along the gulf coast. This week’s Gemini reminds me of that last trip, early March, right before spring break hits full stride. A morning trip turned into most of the afternoon as well, and we were all having fun, check the website for some pictures of smiling fishermen. The afternoon chop was rough, and after eight hours on the bay boat, I had sea legs, a rolling gait to accommodate the swaying foothold. Holding the bow line in hand, as I stepped onto the dock, I kept waiting for the ground to keep rolling and roiling, as the boat’s deck had been, for the previous eight hours. What Gemini has been through lately? This is the week you’re like me, just stepping up on the dock, pier really, solidly anchored structure, but still expecting the floor to sway. As a Gemini, you’re also holding the bow line. It’s a simple piece of rope tied to the front of the boat, but at the dock? Yeah, that line can control, like, everything. This means?

Gemini: solid ground and in control. Be careful.


Given the correct setting, I will wax eloquently about the virtues of coffee from a convenience store. There is an essence to the brew that’s been sitting there, half a pot on the burner since about three in morning, starting to get a little crispy, and for a five AM spring fishing fling? That coffee is great. This is an extension of venerable “truck stop coffee,” brewed in urns, and served by the gallon. Folgers and Maxwell House were part of the first wave of coffee, Starbucks being the second wave, and the individual micro-roasters being the most current crop.

Each brew has a time and place, and for all the vile comments about Starbucks and its ubiquity, the brand did introduce the notion of better bitter brew. Next few days, given the motions of the moon for The Moon Children, be willing to pay homage to the roots. Might not be a specific cup of coffee, or roots of the current phase of consumption of coffee, but it could be quite similar. What do we owe respect, acknowledgement, or, at least a head nod towards? The tendrils of the one coffee giant stretch far into the hinterlands, bringing a degree of civilization — educated consumers — where there was none before. That being noted, some mornings? A single styrofoam cup filled with dubious bitter brew is just better. Still, admit and acknowledge what our roots are.

The Leo

The Leo, let me remind you, a great line, “I’m like the ants.” One would suppose, that this is a common problem most anywhere. We get these little “Sugar ants,” tiny critters, crawl out of the woodwork, and munch on whatever is unsealed. Every place I’ve lived, there has always been the ants. Only respond to certain foods; seem to crawl out of nowhere; are problematic at best. They are everywhere. Tiny little specs, marching along in single file, linking up to carry off sugar, sweets, and just about anything else left unattended. They are everywhere. Nuisance more than anything else. Or, to me, a reminder that I should never leave any food stuff out on the counter, unsealed. If I do, the ants return. As The Leo? You know what you remind me of?

Yeah, “I’m like the ants.”

We can do our best to ignore you, but leave a sugary snack on the countertop for a few hours, forgotten and unattended? There you, just like the ants.

The Leo: “I’m like the ants.”


When I started college, then university, there were only 36 plays in Shakespeare’s “complete works.” Over the years, there’s been a huge boon to the apocrypha with more detailed analysis available. There are now around 40 plays attributed, in part or with verifiable contributions, by the playwright we call Shakespeare. The original 36, though, that was a goal, for me, a hope that I would be able to read all 36 plays — and there is a challenge available, to industrious, theater, historical types to help them read all the plays in one year. While at the university, I did read, maybe half the plays, for the advanced course work. I think I still have margin notes and seven-digit phone numbers from other students in that collegiate text. However, I did branch out, and when I started commuting to Austin, a few times a month, I got in the habit of listening to the plays, read aloud. While took more than a year, I did listen, all the way through, at least twice now.

Audio books are not something that I am fond of, not myself. But Shakespeare’s work, essentially, is meant to be seen as a performance rather than read as literature, like I did, back then. A secondary way to enjoy the works, recorded, like a movie, or — last ditch effort? Like my audio versions I collected, the complete works, along with apocrypha, and assorted supporting plays, listening to them is almost as a good. In the theater of the Virgo mind, “second best” works, and works well, this next few days.


On one sales list I subscribe to, they offer books each week, digested. Books for sale, I should say. Over time, I started to notice that each week, there was a Louis L’Amour book mentioned. In part, I must’ve ticked “Westerns” to have that genre included in my weekly sales sheet. But it also gave me pause, realizing that it was the same author, on the list, week after week. I read, maybe three of the novels, two very much genre specific, and the third, sort of a magical realism one-off, called Haunted Mesa.

If one were to read just one of this books, I’d recommend that one, for sure. While it covers and traverses the same ground as the entire canon, it does add a new element, not really present in most of the works. But this isn’t about a particular author, but the way the material was presented, with a certain consistency, over and over. Also points to a deep catalog, and it was merely being mined for profits for the heirs and assigns, I would guess. However, as classic western literature, the material holds up well enough. It’s about repetition, same message, changed, just a little, over and over. Same author, different title, each week.


I’m not sure what the technical term is. It’s a situation where one’s own success is part of one’s downfall. Victim of circumstances? Victim of one’s own success? Guilty of wretched success? Still trying to come up with a name for it. Between the motions of Mars and the relative placement of Saturn’s position, there’s a good chance that your Scorpio self falls victim to being too successful.

Me? I do better with an occasional failure to keep on track. I don’t win every time. I get “skunked” at the lake, on rare occasions. Helps keep my unbridled ego and raging, towering sense of my own self in check.

But I’m not a Scorpio, right?

Maybe you don’t need the occasional failure, a resounding and epic shortcoming publicly played out to remember your humanity. Perhaps this isn’t a requirement, for you. However, as I plotted the planets in their various orbs, what I kept thinking about was aScorpio being a victim of their own successes. Can’t say I don’t try to warn you. And you know my usual line, if you do win big, I would like 1% of the take. Can be 1% after taxes, too, I’m not greedy at all. Just careful, as I don’t want you to be a victim of your own success.


We’re working on less accumulation these days. Less accumulation of some materials, less stuff. This can be emotional stuff. This can be physical stuff. This can be people who just, ultimately, “Bring us down, man.” Less of that stuff. There’s a natural shedding process that occurs at this time, and that process, let us embrace it with our Sagittarius souls. Less stuff. Less stuff is better. Folks who bring us down? Less of that. Mostly, whatever it is that is no fun? Less of that. Instead of embracing a new idea, and then, buying the whole line of crap, let’s look at consideration, “Let me think about it,” or, my personal favorite? “Let me sleep on it.” Can save us from an ill-thought out decision or two, next few days. “Think I should toss this aside?” Probably a good idea, to, but, as I alluded to before, maybe? “Let me sleep on it, then I’ll let you know.” The goal is less accumulation, and how we get there? That is an individual choice, depends on how it plays out in a single chart, but the idea? Less accumulation of stuff.


There are certain standards that must be obeyed. At one point in my career, I had an editor, and we referred to her as SWMBO, the acronym for “She Who Must Be Obeyed.” It was funny, amongst my group of writers, as we got a chuckle out of her antics, demands, and, of course, we all always followed her orders. It’s a matter of doing what they like, how they like, and making sure everyone was happy. In that situation, the editor with the nickname, “SWMBO,” it was easy for me. Same material was delivered, at the first of the month, for the following month, one copy in MS Word format, one copy as a plain text file, both copies attached to an e-mail with the text for the file in the body of the email. So, in essence, I was submitting three copies of the same file. Seemed redundant to me. Also seemed a little stupid, but no one asked me, and I learned, remember her moniker, that acronym?


I learned, this is how they want it, and I — eventually — got it down correctly. I learned that it had to be done a certain way, with no room for any other kind of method of working. Failing to do it in triplicate, as requested? Resulted in a torrid flurry of e-mail, threats, recriminations, and personal counter-attacks. A lot of noise that went no where in a hurry. Then, too, I was getting paid, and the people (organization) paying me wanted material delivered a certain way. Best if I just did what they wanted. Might seem rather redundant, but their standards were their standards. Their rules, my paycheck, play nice. You have one, this week, a person — or organization — of some authority that it behooves your Capricorn self to follow whatever, apparently redundant rues they have set forth. In my example? “Just do what she says.”


“Truth” and “reality” don’t always align. Becomes apparent this next couple of days, for Aquarius — the way truth and reality don’t necessarily align perfectly. Or at all. There’s a point where something seems out of joint. I always liked the way fiction always felt more true than true stories.

I was born — and raised — in Texas, a home to the Tall Tales.

Not like this is any kind of new information for me. While I first recorded it when I was an adult — or adult-aged — I’m sure this sentiment was carried throughout my upbringing, “We never let the truth get in the way of a good story!” As the week unfolds and the energies course through their prescribed patterns, remember that the truth is sometimes better than the actual fact. Truthfully speaking, of course. The additional comment for this? It was a writer I liked, and he wrote about how fiction had to be more true than real life because fiction had to make sense. The story is true, some facts might be altered to clean it up and have it all make sense.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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