Horoscopes for 4.18.2019

    There be many Caesars,
    Ere such another Julius. Britain’s a world
    By itself, and we will nothing pay

    For wearing our own noses.

Cloten in Shakespeare’s
Cymbeline III.i.11-4

Horoscopes for 4.18.2019

The sun moves into the Tropical Zodiac sign of Taurus on April 20, 2019, around 2:55 AM (Central), but, as always your mileage might vary.


As the Sun enters Taurus, the Sun aligns with Uranus, briefly. The question I thought of, and this applies now, is “brilliance” hereditary? Does it run in families, or is there some kind of genetic fluke that makes this possible? The idea of brilliance came, because, as this alignment occurs, there will great flashes of insight. Depth, understanding, like a certain kind of brilliance. Did this mental acuity, did this perception of intellectual horsepower, did this understanding of the human psyche exist all along? Was it inherited? Or was this a predisposition of the planets, enforced by this kind of an alignment, something that adds spark to an otherwise dull mind, all of a sudden-like? Which is it? Who knows. The brilliance is triggered, by this week’s “Stars in Taurus,” and likewise? Taurus will be a star. With Uranus, especially, the correct application of this new-found “brilliance” is to not fritter and fret from whence it came, no, grab that insight and move forward. What steps, what path, what new — and uncharted — route beckons for Taurus? With this week’s stars, you can see how to make this work, and for the one? Happy birthday, baby!


“Strange things are a-foot at the Circle K,” a rather dated pop-culture reference. Explains much, though, to Gemini. Dated pop-culture reference that is an antecedent towards much of what is happening now? Yes, we’ve seen this before. “Mercury isn’t retrograde, is it?” No, that is not the issue. There’s an arcane, get get used to it, strange energy loose this week, and maybe next week, and we will see this again. Best way to approach the energies, for that Gemini, now that we know, “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K?”

The reference was a B-movie that enjoyed a cult status for a period of my misspent youth. The original comment, though, it was about a series of events that seemed rather unlikely, all occurring right in front of the lead characters. The characters themselves, at least at the start, seemed rather clueless. Part of their charm? Made for a fun tale. Good movie, more or less, sequel, not so much. But there is a strange energy loose, and instead of trying to figure it out, consider sitting off to one side, “Wow, dude, look at that,” means look at that. This could be the beginning of a great adventure for Gemini, as long as you stand off to one side and observe. “Wow, look at that,” or better yet? “Methinks ‘strange things are afoot at the Circle K,’ what say you?”


There was a brief blip on the astrologer radar, person was doing horoscopes as a single, simple drawing. Didn’t last long, as the effort and the results don’t match up. I’m still writing, and yet the cartoon horoscopes are gone, a mere digital dream. Then, too, seemed like every Cancer Moon Child horoscope was something about tears. Please. Not every moon child Cancer is a crybaby.

Can’t do a “Cry me a river” jokes every week, and, take note, I don’t.

This week is the opposite of that, as well, as there is an internal fount of strength, desire, and drive which equate to a form of Cancerian success. That’s a far cry from the tears and rivers stuff. Still, there will be one. There’s always one, you know? “Sniff-sniff,” tear tricking down a single cheek, “I’m not that emotional, am I?” No, this is a function — collaboration if you will — of planets that apply emotional pressure. Good? Bad? Depends on what you do with the pressures. However, looking back? Make sure your choices are sustainable, as in, it is something you can continue to do over long period of time. If it is fun to do once, then call it a stand alone project. Worth doing again and again? I’ve long since fallen into love and a healthy rhythm with my work, and for the success of Moon Children, the Cancer Crab? Find something that is enjoyable, over and over.

The Leo

It was a Monday morning, week or two back, and I stopped for an early cup of caffeine. At the time, I was having three shots of espresso in an insulated mug, with a tablespoon or two of hot water. More than just a shot of espresso and less than an americano. Person behind the counter was bubbly, “How are you doing today? It’s Monday, back at work? Yeah, I get that. This should help!” I nodded and smiled. Gave me a moment’s pause, and as I motored off, I thought about it. Monday isn’t a bad day at all, not for me. I used to work exclusively on weekends. Then, too, I usually enjoy my day job, so, no, Monday was no drag at all. Being up early, sure, bit of pressing business, but it was going to be a fun day for me. No dread, no sinking, just, it was early. Maybe I didn’t have on my friendly face. First couple of days, a friendly Leo face is possible, but by next Monday? Same thing as me, feel fine, but folks think you’re upset about something or other. Helps if someone hands you — in my example? I got hot, insulated mug with just the right amount of coffee-like products to make me very alert and happy. Perfect balance. Could be a glass of wine. Could be a box of wine with a straw, just like a kid’s juice box. Could be a red-eye, two shots of espresso topped with hot, black coffee. All depends, from individual to individual, whatever The Leo needs to make it. For me? Couple of shots of espresso, and just half an inch of hot water. Whatever works.


“Many people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to live normal, healthy lives.” Sign in a diner. Road food used to be specialty of mine, off-beat, funky, dives, and diners. Good stuff, cheap, and plentiful. “Stick to your ribs,” kind of fare. Maybe not the latest in gluten-free, farm-to-table, free-range, all-natural material, ergonomic, but who cares? Certain picky Virgo-types care, that’s who.

“My body is a temple,” and having worshipped a Virgo or two (6 or 8, last count), yeah, that body doesn’t always get treated like a temple, just most of the time. This is about balance points, which most would equate with Libra, but I see this as a Virgo-thing, this next few days. Balance point. Eighty percent of the food is healthy, and like the sign suggested? “Many people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to live normal, healthy lives.” A little sin never hurt a good Virgo. You know, just a little.


“Wow, you’re him.” See this footnote. Getting on a commercial airline, going someplace one evening, the flight attendant guy looked at me, my hair, my date, always date over one’s head, and he said, “Wow, you’re him.” Yeah, not who you think it was, but apparently, I look like I might be famous, or something. Always a funny story, huh. Happens more often than not. I adore some air travel with a babe, always makes me look better. Which, in turn, might’ve been the source of the comment.

No, I’m not that famous guy. I have been at this gig for some long years, and as such, some people recognize me, but in this case, it was just long hair and casual attitude. I’m used to it. My date? That time? I’m not sure. One date looked at me, batted her eyes, “So I’m sleeping with someone famous?” Yeah, doubt it. Still, it was a fun moment, and a source of unending mirth for my date. Brushes with fame? More like brush with blame, but that’s not the question. Or is it? As far as guidance, pause, this is a tale, told by an idiot, full of misdirection and infamy. Who are you going to believe, me or my date?


The old routine, about people with a fear of heights? “I’m not afraid of heights, I just don’t like the sudden stop at the bottom.” Or something about having healthy respect for heights because of the sudden lack of forward motion at the bottom. Yeah, I’ve heard a number of these retorts, excuses, quite often, and one that I am not above using, no not me. Bungie jumping and skydiving, or even better, one buddy is High Altitude Low Opening trained. It’s a military thing. He would tell me what he does, but then he’d have to kill me. Ha-ha. Still there’s that fear of heights — healthy respect for heights — that some of us have. This week opens up with one guy at the back of the plane, shoving us all out the back door.

Just color me, “Not a fan.” Just not something I would do willingly, or by design. But that’s just me. I’m not Scorpio, right? Right.

However, there’s always that fear. In this example, it’s heights. Can vary, but the fear is very palpable and real. Not denigrating that Scorpio fear, whatever its source. I would consider it practical, but that’s just me. In light of this long discussions about fears, rational and irrational, consider that there’s a “biggish bump” in the Scorpio road. What to do about that? If you can see around it then there is less to fear, and if you can’t see around it? Maybe edge forward instead jumping. You now, unless you’re trained for that stuff.


There’s a skating motion I like for this next couple of days. The image, is me, standing still, probably barefoot, but I make a motion like I was skating, you know, skateboard skating, and the implied noise? “Whoosh!” Smooth, coordinated, planned.

The reason I’m doing this standing still? I have zero skateboard skills.

No snowboard, no skiing, nothing. No skates. None of that. I have no illusions about my sense of balance, especially when balanced against my age. Yeah, I know what I’m good at, and that giant swoop punctured with a kick turn, or something? Yeah, really, really not happening. But in my mind, I can make that “whoosh” sound and I can gesture for balance with my arms. That’s the essence to this week. Feels great, doesn’t it? Well, making the motion of the suggested source of the “Whoosh” noise feels alright.

We can pretend. We can pretend to slide into this week’s energy with effortless grace, and flourish at the end, kicking that skateboard up and tucking it under a Sagittarius limb. Sure. Looks good. In our mind, it’s easy. In the real world, we might encounter some obstacles, but I can’t do anything about that. What I can suggest? We leave the real acrobatics to the professionals, and for this week, imagine that “Whoosh” gesture and noise as a way to indicate, like, “we’re there with you, man!”


I’ve worn, basically, one brand of jeans most of many adult life. Size keeps getting larger, and that’s just a function of age, I would guess. However, this isn’t about the size of pants I wear, or boot-cut jeans, or whatever, because, by now, I’m in shorts almost year-round. This is about pulling on a pair of jeans, denim, right after they’ve been washed. I don’t know about anyone else, but right out of the wash and dry? My jeans always feel a little tight. After wearing them for the morning, though, the jeans tend to loosen up. Part of this is a function of the 100% cotton material. Part of this is the “Shrinkage will occur” warning. And part of this example? This is the way the rest of this week fits for Capricorn. It’s a matter of wearing the material for a few hours to get it back to being comfortable. Cotton tends to shrink, and while rather durable when spun as denim, it does take some adjustment. There’s a small adjustment period going on, even now. It’s like pulling on the jeans for the first time, after they’ve been washed. A little tight, maybe, don’t feel quite right, maybe. Give it a period of time for the material to conform to your exacting Capricorn standards.


I have much respect for the Aquarius mind. It races on nimble feet, faster than the speed of light, like an electrical current coursing through the veins of hardware, sparks fly, connections get made, yes, it is a miraculous process to observe. The Aquarius mind is what is so strong at this moment, and the trite, old adage, “If you can think it…” (“You can be it,” or “it can happen,” or “you can make it happen,” figure out which one you like at the moment. It’s all a bunch of self-help crap.) Still, I’ve seen this happen, the Aquarius mind can make events unfurl in a specific direction. Not really mind control, but along the lines of positive thinking, but still, that kind of terminology starts to annoy as it is all a little too “Self-Help-y.” Still, I have much respect for that Aquarius mind and what it can do when it sets its sights on a goal. Get those Aquarius mental sites lined up. Line up the dots and get prepared. Three-quarters of this game is mental preparation, mind-set. Aquarius mind. Set.


Every man and woman is a star. Simply put, old bit of advice, and kind of a statement. As such, though, what I was thinking about, what I’ve seen, a number of the older texts tend to take this message and let it get twisted in its definition. I’m back to a simple way of seeing this, and I hope my mere simplicity will help with the Pisces week ahead. You’re a star. You’re more than enough.

The old texts preached this hidden gem of a message and I’m trotting it out for the cold, harsh light of modern day. But seriously you are star, in some way. I’m not going to delineate each and every Pisces chart to explain and expound the obvious strengths and skill-sets that shine through. This week, that’s up to you. Can be done, but it’s not my strength — however, your strengths? That’s your job. This next few days, the best way to handle the exigent exigencies of modern life and strife? Use those Pisces strong points. Shine on you crazy Pisces.


New dawn. New light. Fresh start? Yes, and a time when the pressure seems to be off of Aries. One Aries buddy, he’s still frantic with that drive and the energy, pulsing from him is almost palpable; makes for a weird interaction. “Dude, I couldn’t sleep last night, like at all, I’m so excited!” Or worried, or concerned, or excited but concerned, and this varies individual to individual, as no two Aries are exactly alike.

Still, there is a sense that something is still using those buttons. So the fresh start, the new beginning, and the sense of impending doom, your Aries self falls somewhere along that spectrum. I would hope that life feels little bit better, now. That sense of expectancy? Let’s err on the side of a little less doom, and little more fun. Aries does get a fresh way to kick some of this off, but the trick is to ease into this new change, not jump madly — blindly — but ease into the new stuff. “It’s a new dawn, baby.”

Yeah, let’s walk over there.

astrofish.net/travel for appearances

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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