Horoscopes for 4.25.2019

    Now ’tis the spring, and weeds are shallow-rooted;
    Suffer them now, and they’ll o’ergrow the garden,
    And choke the herbs for want of husbandry.

The Queen in Shakespeare’s
King Henry 6th, Part 2 III.i.31-3

Horoscopes for 4.25.2019



The Bull

The play the introductory quote is drawn from? Most famous for its “Kill all the lawyers” line. Useless trivia. However, this week’s introductory line resonated so much stronger, about it being the spring, and it was the best time to pull the weeds from the garden. Get the invasive plants when they are shallow-rooted. It’s spring and, for me, a little late to be worrying about gardens and such. As a metaphor, though, it really struck a musical chord, being both Shakespeare — his purported birthday was jus the other day — and being poetical. As a Taurus, there is a little action you can take now, preventative measures, a form of weeding the garden, so to speak. Why this resonated. Taurus is an Earth Sign, right? There’s a strong, what your garden is might vary, but there’s strong urge to “Nip that sucker in the bud,” to borrow another garden image. So happy Taurus birthday, and realize, it’s a good time to nip that sucker in the bud, or, as I suggested, “and the weeds are shallow-rooted” now.


Scene from the streets of Austin, Texas? I was looking in the rear view mirror, well, first I was watching as a person, posing as homeless, worked a particular street corner. He said something to the first truck in line, guy rolled down the window and gave the panhandler some cash. Second car at the light, just ahead of me, the driver of that car handed over some cash. I kept my window up, conversing on the phone’s headset, smiled, and nodded “No.” Related to nothing, I believe in charity, but street corners in Austin are not my favored place. I watched, though, commenting that the panhandler had a good line, as the two cars in front of me gave him cash. Gemini — always admire a proficient salesman, no matter what he’s selling. It’s a Gemini thing, right? I watched as he went to the car that pulled in behind me.

Older mini-van, nondescript grey, sun bleached and peeling paint on the hood, afternoon glare made it so I couldn’t see the driver. The street hustler talked, then leaned on the window, and I thought I might have to hop out to intervene, but I watched. They talked and talked, and finally, the panhandler himself handed over some wadded up bills. Light turned green. I’ll never know, for sure, what happened. In my mind, the hard luck story of the driver of that mini-van evoked compassion from the street hustler. Actual facts? I’ll never know. What I saw was he took money from the cars in front of me, then handed some of that over to car behind me. There’s a point, counter point in the scene. There’s a form of symmetry in the world, even now. There’s a way all of this works out. In my example, pause and think, I was just an observer, and I denied to have anything to do with the transactions. Smiled. Nodded. Watched. As a Gemini? Smile. Nod. Watch.


Up and down, on a stack bibles, for all that was holy, I swore I would never be beholden unto a car again. Great oath full of valor and hope, and yet, this last move landed in house in the suburbs, and I have to rely on vehicular transportation, from time to time, as a way to negotiate and facilitate my employment. Cars requires maintenance. I no longer want to get greasy — or the least bit dirty — when working on a vehicle, so? So I don’t. I have no temperament, no tools, and the skills I did have for spatial and mechanical that once bought victories? Yes, those are sadly rusted from disuse, and probably won’t be resurrected again in this lifetime. I joke about it, but the sentiment is quite clear, “If it doesn’t have a keyboard attached, then I can’t work on it.” A small portion of my “self-help” friends will point out that, as a person, I have the ability to do anything I want. I belong to triple A so I don’t have to carry jumper cables. If there’s a flat tire, and I’ve called several times because the tire’s been low, I just call them. I am capable of fixing the problems myself, but I don’t want to. There are two vital pieces of information, and one is about going back on a personal oath — like me swearing “Never again!” The second part, though, is less about that oath and more about being willing to reach for whatever tool accomplishes the goals, in the most most expedient manner. Both disparate statements come into play for Cancer’s week ahead. Weekend then next few days. “I will never...” followed by, “who do you know that fixes these?”

The Leo

Spend enough time running around the desert, and eventually, I get to where any kind of body of water is an amazing image. For me, anyway. I’m not The Leo, but you’ll share my amazement at a body of something. I’d like to think, it’s one of the lakes where I fish. Or a bay, although, bay fishing was a little off last week. Too soon. Not too soon, though, for The Leo to enjoy that sense of wonder and amazement.

Here’s a little trick, we’re borrowing this from Sagittarius, but as compatible sign, sure, with the effort, right? Borrow that sense of wonder and amazement. I stumbled across a little permanent pond, not far from here, perfect place to fish. Looked like a perfect place to fish, anyway, and it’s that sense of wonder and amazement that keeps us from sliding into a bottomless pool of despair. Love me some of The Leo, but watching you paddle along in a pool of despair is no damn fun for me — or you. Look at it with wonder and amazement, not despair.

“So it’s going to rain again?”

Yeah, no.


In the desert of the American West, there’s a place where the the rocks themselves left trails. For many years, it was a mystery as to exactly what, or how, the pebbles moved across the arid surface — the floor of the desert. Relatively flat, and with no footprints, the first suggestion was paranormal, and, in the older local myths, the actions of the rocks were variously attributed to ghosts, spirits, and, even the undead. Wind, too, was often thought to be a culprit, but on relatively windless nights, the rocks still migrated. Great mystery? It was more a function of frost, and temperature changes, radical swings from low to high, as it happens in the desert, day and night. I’m sure it’s all online someplace, years of conjecture and research to understand — finally — just old Mother Nature having a good go at our observational abilities. Mother Nature, messing with us. In the land of Virgo? This is very much like that hundred year mystery, the rocks across the plains, their trails, and the physics involved. As a Virgo, you want a quick, facile answer. As an analytical Virgo, thought, you know that this time, like that rock puzzle, it might take a little longer than originally anticipated to determine the source, then answer, to the questions.


One of the memes that the cycled through — purportedly for Libra? It read, “Libra trust, hard to win, and once it’s lost? Gone forever.” Interesting premise, but pause and think about that one, is it really true? I think it was more like a bumper sticker that got pasted into a meme-maker, and then, handed off, more as an element of human nature rather than as a true characteristic of just Libra alone. Could possibly insert any sign in there, and it would apply, more so at certain times, within certain situations, and for the time being? In Libra at the moment? Yeah, trust is hard to win back, once betrayed. There are two elements, several astrological pieces, all of this contributes to the situation. A non-Libra should be vigilant and extra-wary of violating Libra trust and confidences. Similarly, for that same Libra? Extra vigilance is required to prevent a violation. Watch closely.


Scorpio’s planet, one of them is Mars. Rhymes with cars. The other afternoon, this was in large, public parking structure downtown, and I got hit with the same thing that I’ve done before. I was slowly crawling along behind a pedestrian, clearly a guy looking for his car. Although the sign indicted there were plentry of spaces available, I wasn’t finding any of them. What amused me to no end — “stalking” this one guy, waiting to take his parking spot? He looked at his phone, walked over to one car, and tried the key, me thinking, all right, got a spot now. Guy looks up and pulls out his phone again and stands in the middle of the lane, looks to their other row, other side, and clicks his clicker. Car blinks. He found it. I waited. Actually, I was much amused by the mistake. I used to do that intentionally just to mess with the driver ‘stalking’ me. From his actions, I don’t think the other guy was messing with me. I understand how easy it is to lose a nondescript vehicle in a big garage. Foibles, pitfalls, pratfalls, and modern inconveniences haunt Scorpio, even now. There’s probably some guy in an old truck, following you around even now. No reason to be embarrassed; I’m grateful for a parking spot.


In Shakespeare’s era, the term “benched” implied a person had been elevated in status. Like being promoted to a bench reserved for high-ranking officials. In more modern times, when a person is “benched,” it tends to refer to an individual who taken out of play and consigned to sitting on the bench while the rest of the team plays on. Sports metaphor. Jacobean Theatre to modern sports. Bit of a stretch, no? As a Sagittarius myself, what we have to watch for, this week, is our communication. When I heard, it’s in one of the plays, when I heard the the term “benched,” I was wondering what kind of baseball was played in Shakespeare’s era, “Wherefore Third Base?” Silly literary allusion. Still, there is merit in this understanding of how language — and meaning of language changes. When, as this next few days unfolds, as the time unfolds, we hear a word, a phrase, a saying, or, just a single verb, and we think it has but one meaning. Make sure we check around before rashly assuming we’re right about what it means. Might be benched, Sagittarius, but which meaning?


Your tongue has different sections for taste. Sweet, sour, bitter, and salty — each one has a different set of taste buds, located in different places on the tongue. I tend to think of in terms of astrology houses, and each one is a different place for specific actions. As Capricorn-compliant person, I have your best interests in my heart. Like your tongue, this week needs to be broken down into discreet areas where work occurs. Task one is completed in the area and hours allotted to task one. Task two occurs in the areas and hours allowed to task two. This continues, and each is discrete subsystem that depends on the actions occurring in logical, timed manner. Just like each section of the tongue I designated for a specific taste? Seriously, grab a bottle of Tabasco, or some similar condiment, and try tasting it, little dab in a spoon? Back of the tongue, left side, right side, middle front, tip? All tastes different. Likewise, there is an order to the way the week unfolds and each task should be accomplished in its correct order, and in the allotted hours. Like those taste buds. Each and every section has a specific job.


There’s a mattress store, over on… I’m sure there’s one similar in your own neighborhood. That store? They’ve been going out of business for 36 years now! No, I noticed that there seemed to be a perpetual “Going out of business!” sale, ongoing for several years. I asked a local, and she affirmed, yes, that one store, been there 35, no 36 years now, “Been going out of business ever since they opened.” Interesting premise, and along more mystical lines, perhaps not the healthiest way to conduct a life, but with a forever “Going out of business” deal? With that, it would indicate a certain urgency. I’m sure you’re feeling that urgency, even now. Is this a real emergency? Is this a real, urgent request for action? Or this more along the lines of that store, been going out of business ever since they first opened their doors, decades in the past. Going out of business, not my idea of creating that sense of urgency when I see it every time. Think about that “Going Out of Business” sign, before you react in haste.


The root of almost all our fears is imaginary. Once the “What if” motor starts running? Hard to shut that sucker off, now isn’t it? That “what if” motor is the source of the Pisces problem this next few days. Couple of factors play into this, but it’s easy to see, most of the problems stem from hypothetical situations that may — or may not — materialize. No way to know, for sure, other than to experience it as it unfolds. The source of this trouble is that wonderfully, wild, and wooly world that resides someplace in the Pisces imagination, again, the probable source for the extenuating circumstances, this week.

I am unable to make any of this “go away,” but I can source the problem. Roots, antecedents, and issues, once we have a source? Makes it a lot easier to deal with the ultimate fallout and possible outcome. The source is the imagination. The root of the fear is imaginary. You knew that, but I’m reminding you so you have a better grasp. Not like this is new information, but as a subtle reminder? Helps to pinpoint that source. The Pisces imagination is a wonderful playground for an agile mind. Grinding on old fears with no basis in reality just perpetuates the Pisces problems, when, as we started out? The root of all fears is imaginary.


Got a friend who quit watching the news. She changed. Aries, not that it matters, but there you have a connection. She started — avidly — following sports. “See? Each game has a beginning, a middle, and an end. A clear winner, and a clear loser. I like that.” A suitable replacement, frankly, for the news, political and otherwise, which, on most days, makes no damn sense. Local headlines? Skip it. Just watch the nation al news. While this is not viable long-term solution, for this next couple of days? Think about just watching the sports. Winners. Losers. Clear answers. However, watching national, or in my case, even local news? That will drive you mad. Madness, right around the Aries corner, if you get distracted, and that’s why I suggest following my Aries friend’s lead on this: just watch sports. “Kind of escapist, isn’t it?” We do what we have to do in order to survive, my Aries friend; do what we have to do.

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.