2019 May Horoscopes for 5.16.2019

Horoscopes for 5.16.2019

Horoscopes for 5.16.2019

    Thus far our fortune keeps an upward course,
    And we are grac’d with wreaths of victory.

King Edward in Shakespeare’s Henry 6.3 5.3.1-2

Horoscopes for 5.16.2019


As a Taurus, I tend to think of you as a paragon of strength and stability. And this week is the last of the Taurus birthdays, which means, soon? It’s Gemini time. As that typical Taurus who is usually a paragon of virtue, strength, and stability? Now is the time to cut loose a little. Maybe not too much, but lighten up that grip you have on the controls. One buddy used to ease his truck’s seat back and then steer with his knees. Not exactly having a firm grip on them wheel, but then, still pretty much in control. He could drive pretty well and handle a phone, a microphone, cigarettes, beverages, and the truck’s audio systems, all at once, and all while still steering with his knees. Me? I’m not Taurus, and I certainly can’t do any of that. Nor would I even attempt to do any of that while I was driving, but I’m not an accomplished Taurus. This next few days, though? No need to be that paragon of virtue.


As a patient observer of humanity, part of that applies to Gemini, you know, but as a patient observer, I was trying to figure out, the kid, not much than 18-19 years old, had on a DK logo shirt (Dead Kennedys, led by Jello Biafra?) For those of us, of certain age, that was music that moved our souls, sounds of surf-punk from the Left Coast, anarchists, rebels, and music with a certain political message. Leftist Punk Rock that mattered!

As an anomaly, sure, I could see that, or as a trinket from the mall, wait. Just pause and think about that one. Our beloved underground, counter-culture has been co-opted by the very establishment we thought we were trying to tear down. Not sure we thought as far as what we were going to replace that with, whatever we tore down, and the general angst of a childhood is not so unusual, not really, ever generation will have its rebels. As humanitarian and as a leader of band, that was punk just as the genre crested, the fine line between commercial and disenfranchised. All from a kid wearing a T-shirt. Pretty big leap, no? As a perspeciacous Gemini, and as an observer of humanity, there is that sudden clash where old and new collide. Like me, this can cause a mental freeze. I couldn’t move, mentally, until I found a place to put my old heros and long-lost battles to peace. Find a place for it, Gemini, find a place for it.


In a waiting room, medical waiting room, helping my buddy out by driving when he shouldn’t be driving, I was sitting there, watching a country music TV channel of some sort. Since when did country music have pierced eyebrows and nose rings? Artful tattoos, and electric guitars? Skateboards? That last one was funny. I grew up with friends who would ride their horse through the drive-thru at the Dairy Queen. Yes, horses at the drive-in window, even where I was raised. Not really that unusual.

    As a sidebar item that proves I understood what real country roots would be.

I’m a city boy, now, no doubt about that, but I understand the genre perfectly well. So when did it change? What happened. When did it change. How did this happen? Who let this happen? This isn’t about country music itself, or the gradual way that genres blend, bend, and mutate, no, this is about seeing something for the first times, and wondering when the label changed. That was soft rock, playing, not quite “metal,” but soft rock, or regular rock’n’roll from a more tame period. When did this change? I lamented this in another forum, exactly one time, when a rock band from the early 90s became a country band by adding a steel guitar. Play to those who pay, I suppose, and this is a time, with all that’s going on in the Cancer - Moon Child world, do you really want to accept the change?

The Leo

Sports franchises never meant much to me until I drifted into San Antonio. The local pro-basketball, The Spurs, they command more respect and veneration then any other team I’ve ever encountered, and that includes some of the English “football” teams as well as the Dallas Cowboys. Never seen a hysterical, involved, fan-base before. When the Spurs win, there is an eruption of noise and spontaneous celebrations. Just a totally insane situation, for me, as an outside observer.

I do get swept up in the pageantry and “latest breaking news” about the team. I didn’t care when I landed here, but I certainly care now — I have no choice. So the T-Shirt was funny, to me, and the commentary worked even better, “LA Lakers shirt — I’m wearing this ironically,” kid said. I nodded like I understood, but I didn’t. Remember, this is in a town where the sign read, “Open 24 hours a day, closed for the Sabbath and Spurs games.” Kind of explains it all, not far from religion, if not treated the same way. So the LA Lakers, that’s a rival team? Is it even the same sport? Same league? I don’t know. But, apparently, the merch, the team’s swag can be worn ironically. Personally, I would think that doing so is asking for a fight, and at the very least, a confrontation. But I don’t know; wasn’t me in the shirt, even if the effort was “ironically.” So I’m not part of this — directly. As The Leo, think about that, think about that Lakers shirt and wearing that in San Antonio, or a Dallas Mavericks shirt, same problem, are we willing to advertise like that, in that kind of an atmosphere? Maybe not. Besides, you know The Leo always gets noticed, no matter what.


Love me some fad stuff. Latest, greatest, newest, catchiest, and so forth. Some kind of (stuff) that is cooler, slicker, nicer, better, more artisanal than others. Yes, love that stuff. However, I’m reminded, some days, this kind of material cycles in, and then out of, of conscious desire with remarkable quickness. Taking a “longer term view” helps my little Virgo friends.

There is at least one fad item that you long for — this week. There is at least one trending piece of desire that you have this little voice in the back of the Virgo head suggesting, “I must have this. Now.” There is no reason to buy now. “But I need this!” Yes, and I need to be thinner, with a little more hair, and little less debt, but no, there is nothing that we need at the moment, not in Virgo-land, nothing that we can’t live without — at least, not at the moment. What’s going to happen, in a few days, maybe a few weeks, and with only one I know, a few months? What’s going to happen is that item of lust? That trendy little toy, bauble, or trinket? It will be steeply discounted. On sale, cheap. If you want, you can get it then, but with the novelty worn off? You might find yourself less interested, and thereby, dodged an expensive mistake. You’re welcome.


It was, to me, an interesting premise, “Mascara and coffee.” Think it must’ve been emblazoned across the chest of some woman, but I can’t be held responsible, I was less interested in her chest and more interested in her shirt’s slogan. Yeah, I know, I’m oft-accused of being a dog. Not what this is about, but “Mascara & coffee.” Here’s the way I interpreted that shirt, and my take-away: “Two things I need to survive.” Or? “Two things to start the day,” or any other similar binary combination. For me, it’s now “Coffee and Keyboard.” But I’m not a lovely Libra, and I don’t worry about my appearance. Matter of fact, mine is less a binary combination, and more, just let me have coffee, and the rest will work out somehow. I’m not wedded to what I look like. I’m not Libra, as we’ve determined. So “Mascara and Coffee,” as a commentary and command for Libra, while the actual two items might vary, there are two items required to start the day. Each day. Every day. We’re used to it. What are your two items? I find the emphasis, while it was greatly amusing at the time, I find the emphasis on “mascara” unsettling at best. But I’m not Libra, and I have no understanding of exactly what those two things are. Two items, imagine it like T-shirt slogan, how to start each day, this next week. I got one buddy, she’ll answer, “Mimosas and lipstick!” whatever works, the two items?


One of the weirder tattoos I’ve observed? It was an image, in plain India ink, of a watch with a Rolex logo, on a guy’s left wrist. The face of the watch had the short hand pointed at 4 and long hand pointed at 20. Funny, to me, and not problem, for me, but I can imagine, this was obviously some old ink, not a good idea at one time. Same hand that would offer an officer a driver’s license. See the problem? However, pause, that kind of tattoo works on one level, easily. I’m not passing judgement. Just — as a patient observer of humanity — seeing something like that suggests a lapse in judgement. Or not, depends on one’s outlook, and how willing one is to take a risk. Me? Not even. Scorpio? Not even willing to take a risk. Not at all. Err on the side of caution, this next few days. Err on the side of caution. To err on the side of caution, before making some long-term decision, like a tattoo, or some other decision with similar, long-term influences at bay? Consider other ideas. That watch tattoo, I think it would be way more fun — and useful — if the face was left blank. “What time is it?” Then, with that blank time-face, it can be any time we need it to be. Or want it to be. It can be 1620 hours, and have no problems. Bet you didn’t know that a watch face could tell 24-hour time. Still, this is a good week to weigh that stuff more than once.


In order to enhance creative energies, I’ve found a good Sagittarius needs to look at some issues from a different perspective. One author I know, used “zero gravity boots,” which were nothing more than expensive way to hang upside down. He would spend a few minutes inverted, and that made it so he could understand — and solve — the problems. He claimed quicker and easier. Perfect example of looking at a problem from a different perspective. Which is what I was discussing, and how it applies to our Sagittarius selves. Different perspective. In one way, or another, looking at what seems to be a problem or challenge for Sagittarius, as it turns out, there’s an easy way to fix this. Fix, helps, solves, navigate, some way to get around the problem. Easy as can be. “So you’re suggesting, Mr. Fishing Guide to the Stars, that I get upside to see a way out of this mess?” Well, yes, sort of. Maybe not upside down. Turn me upside down for long, and I might lose my lunch. So that’s not the actual suggestion. But it’s the right idea. Just a change in location, a change in point of view, a change in how the problems is perceived? That changes how we can come up with a solution, an answer, a temporary “fix,” or even a new route.


There are certain guidelines I tend to follow. To some, this would appear like I was rule-follower, which, in actuality, yeah, maybe so. Not what this week’s about, but sort of. It’s about following the — guidelines — to the letter. Color within the lines. Do what the rules suggest. In totality, not just in part, follow all the rules. We’ve talked about this, how Saturn is a horrible taskmaster, and that’s the challenge. This week presents what appears to be an acceptable shortcut. Seems to be a way around the rules. Seems to be a way to circumvent some of the established guidelines?

Yeah, how Capricorn are you?

That guideline, those rules, the prescribed steps, in order? All there for a reason. While I’m the very last person who is willing to follow the rules, framing the term as guidelines, instead of rules, makes it much easier. Then, too, there’s the idea that this is in order, for a reason, and then ubiquitous commentary — This is for your own good — how many times have we heard that? But this week? Follow the rules. Stick to the letter of the law. Do it the way you’re told. “Color within the lines,” if only for a little while.


In a series of interactions, mostly e-mail, a client was trying to out-silly me. Me. Trying to be more obtuse and sillier than me. Me. Seriously. Trying to out silly me. Foolish mortal. When it comes to silliness, I have the mind of a child. Some folks think I might suffer from some kind of mental issues, but that’s not the question, it’s about trying to be more outlandish, surreal, or, in this case, sillier than me? Seriously, trying to outdo me? I’m not good at a great many skills. Some fishing gear, I’m good. Certain kinds of computers and keyboards? Sure. That’s about it. But trying to play a bigger fool than me?

Oh really.

This is about engaging in a contest with a super foe. Can’t be done. Can be done, but takes way more effort than it’s worth. That’s the challenge, and like a good Aquarius, you tend to not want to back away from a good challenge, but that’s not the point. This is about a superior foe. Don’t pick a fight a you can’t win, like trying to be sillier than me. Just as a suggestion, probably won’t work, and the results are, at best, frustrating for your Aquarius self.


Along the banks of a river, really, more of stream to me, along its banks? There was a stand of bamboo. Deep, thick, lush bamboo. In Austin, this isn’t entirely out of place, although, certainly not native. Not an unusual sight, but the parks department would come through, maybe every other year, and try to eradicate that bamboo stand — to no avail. That bamboo stand, and its will to live made me think about this week’s Pisces, despite their best efforts, that stuff survives. Gets burned down, chopped down, chemically attacked, and yet, by the middle of the summer, the dense cover is back, with long bamboo plants crowding the ground. Grows just like a weed. Despite the best efforts of others, usually a government agency of some stripe, Pisces, like the bamboo is still thriving. Over time, those roots got dug in, and over time, the pattern is established. The last attempt was last week, so it’s easier now. Start growing and making you stand. Again.


Thus far, our Aries fortune keeps an upward course, to paraphrase. For Aries, that means? Keep looking up. We’re trending upwards, now. If you’re not “trending upwards,” then there’s some work ahead and it will be looking up, soon enough. Keep the hope alive, if you haven’t seen this upward trend already. Keep the hope alive. If you have seen this “trending upwards,” then you know it’s getting better, if only by degrees, but soon. How soon? Very soon. With Mr. Mars moving into the watery crab-like sign, that creates a tension angle for Aries. Used properly, and you can use this properly, not hasty, just properly, you can use this tension to help with that upward ascent. Other folks, lesser signs, might not use this energy properly, and there will be a fair amount of crabby people as a result of the motion of Mr. Mars. However, think on it, and you’ll find, fortune is spinning upwards — and better — for Aries. Build on that Martian tension. Upwards, ho! for appearances sig file

“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at