Horoscopes for 5.23.2019

Horoscopes for 5.23.2019

It is a bawdy planet, that will strike
Where ’tis predominant; and ’tis pow’rful—think it—
From east, west, north, and south.

    Leontes in Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale (I.ii.201-3)

Venus conjunct Uranus. In Taurus. Talk about weird. “It is a bawdy planet,” as the King says.

Horoscopes for 5.23.2019


While this was triggered by a spurious and errant thought, it figure, Gemini, sure, that works. In another horoscope, further down this week’s list, there’s a a vague allusion to a comment from a great work of literature. It’s one of this novels that I reread, periodically, maybe once every couple of years as it seems to impart new meaning, each time, Then, too, as an author’s early work, there is a certain joy, vibrancy, and life breathed into the characters that is missing from later, more studious, more “serious” artwork. That first one, though, always worth rereading, as if, they put new words in. The dazzling display of wordsmith and breathtaking panorama of the inner mind of the characters, all takes flight. It’s good material. Helps me to reread it, from time to time. Part of it is like poetry, well, almost, or to me, anyway. As a Gemini, yes, happy birthday, multiple times, but no, what this is about? Be willing to go back over some stuff we’ve already covered. Mercury — your planet — is in your sign. Instead of trying to cross new frontiers and broach new targets? You would be surprised what new tricks come from old material, besides, it’s your birthday time, stick with your classics.


Mars heats up the Cancer Moon Child’s waters. Water sign, you know? Mars is a like a water kettle, no, The Cancer’s crab-like carapace is like the kettle, and Mars is the stove. The internal water in Cancer is reaching a boiling point. The way this week works out, though, astrologically? The way this starts to play out? Looks like to me?

That water is boiling and Mars might make it boil over, which, in turn, can be a problem. Careful or you burn yourself. Careful, or that water spills and scalds someone. It’s a simple mattered exercising a higher degree of caution than usual, because, Mars, with all his drive? He can make us hasty.

Haste makes waste.

I realized you’re tired of stupid, bumper-sticker-esque aphorisms, still, with Mars, and the Sun plus Mercury in Gemini? Yeah, slow down. None of us are moving as fast as you are.

The Leo

Routine maintenance is anything but routine. However, oiling, greasing, adjusting, or otherwise lubricating a spot that can use some lube? Perfect choice this week. Just need a squirt of grease. Bearing surfaces do better, flow easier with a tiny drop of oil. Unlike me, whoever, this is a situation where only a tiny amount of lubricant is required. Don’t need a handful, a whole bottle, or a glob. Just the tiniest pin-prick, like, less than drop of precious blood. One fishing buddy was testing his blood for sugar, one of those things where he has to get a drop of blood and that tells — I’m not sure what. Anyway, that single drop of blood? That single drop of precious lubricant, that single spot of grease, doesn’t take much. The trick, while everything else is a screaming, “More, more, MORE!” While everything in The Leo mind is screaming for more? Less. Keep it in mind, though, that some is required. I was oiling a fishing reel, last used at the coast, and it was lightly crusted with salt from thick bay water. Pull it apart, and there’s a single spot where a simple drop of oil works great. Fixes everything. One would think, two drops would be better, but when that happens? Oil spews out sideways and winds up on the fishing line, which in turn, alerts the fish that I’m there, and this goes badly for me. Just a drop. Needs some lube, but just a drop.


I was flipping through various media feeds, and I stumbled across a “sponsored” post from what used to be an esoteric, underground, spiritualist organization. “Sponsored” post means it was paid advertising. Someone paid for it. The group was advertising, in social media feeds, for an underground, offbeat, strange, wholistic, new age, not-quite-a-religion, but then not quite a not-a-church group. Hermetic Order if one must know. It’s a Virgo-thing, you must know. Knowing, is a Virgo-thing, not the hermetic orders. Unless, of course, this derives from Mercury, Hermes to some, the planet associated with Gemini — and Virgo. The name for the various orders derive from the the Mercurial god from Mythology. Even esoteric cults have to advertise these days. Not sure what that means. However, what I was originally aiming for, with the planets where they are, as Gemini gets underway? Running into a similar situation and how you choose to react. I reacted, well, weirdly, but then I’m a bit on the weird side, so, it was a reach for me. However, as the Sun courses his way through Gemini, be aware that there is more unswerving material that will pop up. How you react? I think I took a screen shot, myself. Just an idea.


Every day brings a new “take away.” Been some years since I first heard that term, the “take away,” which, I guess, applies to whatever it is that the person actually recalls from a salient point made by an author, editor, or speaker. Over the years, I’ve stopped and quizzed people during live readings to ask what the take-away was. I got a variety of answers, and some of them, it’s like we weren’t even in the same conversation. Sometimes, it’s a bit painful. Painful for me to hear that none of my meaningful, carefully selected, dramatically delivered, nay, even poetical terms, turns of a phrase, bon mots, and such? None of it landed. What makes this week different is each interaction, be it with me, or others? Each Libra interaction offers a new “take-away” point, and the most — to me — important point about this? Be willing. Be willing to realize that each day brings new information that can drastically reframe your Libra outlook.

“Kramer said all Libra’s are indecisive.”

How do you feel about that?

“I don’t know.”

Check back tomorrow for a different take-away point.


We all got “issues.” Fact of life. Ex-wives, for example, former lovers, current flames that are not-so-hot at the moment? Any of this sound familiar to Scorpio? Like I suggested, we all got issues. Some these seem to be a bigger deal than they really are, at least, this week. Seems like the planets conspire to blow a situation up — and then? Out of proportion. Blows up and then blows out. Not good, and as a calm, serene Scorpio, such emotional displays or irritability just doesn’t bode well. Issues. We all got issues. Some signs have issues with tissues, but that’s not what this is about. This is about how we — those of us who are either Scorpio, or Scorpio-compliant — how we deal with those issues. Situations seem to arise. Calm and serene, even though you might be boiling below the surface? Calm and serene wins this one for Scorpio. I’m all about winning one for Team Scorpio, and to make that happen? The issues, as they surface? Calm and serene. A couple of weeks from now? “You know, Kramer, I didn’t blow up at them, though, they really did deserve the full measure of my wrath, and now look, everything’s solved in my favor!” We all got issues, Scorpio, it’s how we handle them this week that matters later. Oh, we all got issues.


I don’t mean to make things weird. I will make them weird, just, you have to know, I don’t mean to make them weird. Way it goes. With the relative positions of the planets? Things just get a little weirder than usual. Doesn’t bother me, too much, but it will bother some of my other Sagittarius friends.

As a child, I truly wanted normalcy — I just wanted to be regular. Normal, whatever that was. Due to the aberrant and somewhat strange upbringing, well, I turned out like I did. Not complaining, as it’s way too late now to go back and be “normal.” So weird is the state of mind and subject to individual understandings. I’m not trying to make this weird, but, when it does get weird this next few days? Can’t say I didn’t make an effort to warn your Sagittarius self about the impending weirdness. I’m not trying to make things weird, but I will make them weird. Way it goes. Good luck with the lunar phase, too.


When one walks through a doorway, an opening, really of just about any kind? The mind thinks, “Different room, new thought.” We see that transition, and then, this is why, it’s so common to walk into another room and forget why one walked in there, in the first place. I have a little trick I tend to use, and I’ll pass it along at this time, since it looks like you were headed into another room, and as soon as you get there, you’ll forget what you went in there.

“What did I come in here to do?”

This happens frequently when I’m working on my horoscopes, especially in the mornings. What helps me? I’ll wander off into the kitchen wonder why I wandered off, and then I’ll look down. In my left hand, usually, there’s an empty coffee container. Usually a coffee mug, but it can be a cup, an insulated tumbler, any number of devices used to hold liquid. I look down at my hand, realize that I have an empty coffee cup there, and I know what I wandered off to do: refill the mug. It’s a simple trick, but highly effective, and with the distractions present? For Capricorn? My simple idea of merely holding, in one hand or the other, the reason for the objective, the clue as to what your goal was, originally? Like me with a coffee cup in hand, “Oh yeah, get more coffee. Look, I need to wash some dishes, too.”


Not that this is a question I hear frequently, but it did come up the other evening over light dinner conversation. “You know why Long Neck beer bottles are so popular in Texas?” As a former retailer of beer, yeah, dark and distant past, the idea never crossed my mind. I thought everyone always drank from longneck bottles. Seen them, been around them, all my life.

“No, they are easier to handle on a bumpy road in the cab of truck.”

Doesn’t slosh out, easier to handle, and certainly easier to grip when bouncing down a washboard dirt road. I also suspect that the data proffered was skewed. I’m old enough to know recall a time when it was legal — in Texas — to have a beer while driving. Couldn’t be drunk, as that was still illegal, but a single beverage was quite all right. Doesn’t speak well of our judgement, but does allow for some latitude in personal freedom. Anyway, this isn’t about drinking and driving, this is about why the longneck type of bottle is so popular. There were times when myth is more prevalent than fact. This is an example of that. There should be two obvious conclusions from this week’s observations, one? Don’t drink and drive. Never ends well. Just don’t. Two? Source of myth, and what’s myth rather than what’s fact. Like why those longnecks are so popular, even to this day.


While it is a really a concept from the “Ancient Chinese Art of Placement,” to me, it is almost superstition. However, I have some ancillary backing proof, so, submit as anecdotal evidence? Sure. That works. On the little stove top in a trailer park in old South Austin, I had a burner that was out on the stove, and me, being too lazy to call the landlord to fix it? I let it go. That burner was in place that signified wealth and luxury, so I was neither wealthy nor luxurious in lifestyle.

That was then.

This is now.

I use a cook top to heat the water for coffee in the morning, and I rotate the burners. Each day I use a different burner to heat the coffee water. All four burners work on this stove, and that’s good. The ancient art of placement, the “science” of how objects are arranged? I’m not sure if that’s real or not. However, using a different location on the stove top every morning is supposedly better than just using the same burner — think about that trailer park in old South Austin. All this week is really about? Rotating stock. Changing the routine to make sure we use all our available resources. Or starting a new regime that helps pave the way for better luck. Until I was in place where all the stove’s burners worked? I wasn’t utilizing all the resources available. While it might seem like such a minor point, the little details help make up the big picture. Then, too, while I’m unsure if it really is the art of space that made this work better, but it seems to. Might give it try.


When they start doing karaoke, then it’s a sign. Time to leave. I looked up a bar that used to be a neighborhood, hang out, great local music place. Last time I passed by, the place was boarded up. I don’t hang out at night, spending time in smoky cafes, listening to real bluesmen bemoan their collective fates, not much, anymore. There was a time, though, when I did. I did a cursory search for that old bar’s name, and the last material was from about 18 months previous, like Yelp Reviews, “Karaoke was fun!” Or, “Service was horrible!” The usual. The Aries trigger point for this horoscope, though, was the part about the karaoke. As soon as that starts, it’s all downhill. It’s a clear sign that the place has served its function as a neighborhood dive and it is headed toward oblivion. For me, personally, when as an audience member, when they start to do karaoke — it’s a sign. Time for me to leave. As an Aries, though, is the sign you’re looking for? Sort of depends. If you want to go on stage and belt out a favorite tune, then by all means, enjoy it. Just be aware, as soon as you start to do that, as I smile, nod, and then head for an exit? It’s more about me than it about you. However, when they start doing karaoke — then it’s a sign.


I buy most of my fishing gear in big, local sporting goods stores. Among other things for sale, there are a large number of firearms and related accessories. One posted guideline was, “Never include ammunition.” While this had something to do with returning a firearm, or something, for this week’s Taurus? Same guideline applies. Don’t send out the ammunition, or, in this case, don’t hand it over to someone who might, either on accident or purpose, use that ammunition against you. While the sign referred to live ammo, the term, “live ammo” can easily refer to any number of situations, not just real bullets. Another way to see this?

“Don’t freed me straight lines.”

Maybe that expression helps more. Or, “The first liar never has a chance (of success).” Don’t willingly, or even unwittingly, just hand over ammunition that can — and probably — will be used back at you. Made more sense when I thought about in terms of straight lines instead of live rounds of ammo, but in my experience those words can penetrate further, and hurt more.

astrofish.net/travel for appearances

astrofish.net sig file

“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.